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To put it in simple terms, Kuroo and Tsukishima’s relationship was secret.
No one, apart from Yamaguchi and Kenma—the couple’s respective childhood best friends—knew, and they were fine with that. Kenma wasn’t very sociable, and he didn’t like to pry in private matters, while Yamaguchi would rather stay on Tsukishima’s good side, which made him trustworthy enough.
And Kuroo and Tsukishima were both deceptively great at concealing parts of their lives to other people. Tsukishima was skeptical about Kuroo at first, thinking perhaps everyone else knew about Kuroo calling and texting him incessantly every single day since the training camp, but he was surprised to discover that Kuroo did so away from eyes and ears of his own teammates.
“Why would I do something so embarrassing and reckless?” Kuroo laughed.
“I did.”
“Oh.”
Their secrecy wasn’t because they were ashamed of each other and what they had. It was borne more out of fear, as most same-sex relationships are burdened with, of judgment and exclusion. Tsukishima himself never regarded the subject as disturbing even before he met Kuroo, and he would watch the live coverage of Tokyo’s Rainbow Pride parade every year.
“Same-sex relations go as far back as the era of the samurais,” Tsukishima told Kuroo once. “It’s pretty much embedded in our culture.”
“Too bad much of that goes unwritten over the years,” Kuroo quipped.
Tsukishima had faith in his teammates, in spite of himself. He knew the world was becoming more accepting, more forgiving, but he still wouldn’t want to risk it. He valued Kuroo to a considerable degree and he didn’t want to let useless ridicule, though farfetched, take Kuroo away from him. There was also the fact that he was dating the captain of a rival team, which reminded him too much of Shakespeare to his liking.
And Kuroo sympathized. His image as captain made it even more unsettling for him. Plus, as he would say, there was that added pressure of him being the older one of the two, so he felt even more responsible for Tsukishima’s wellbeing.
“I’m not a child, Testu,” Tsukishima would always chide.
Still, Tsukishima couldn’t deny that it felt nice to have someone care for him to that degree.
Tsukishima didn’t have such a difficult time keeping Kuroo hidden. He had enough patience not to check his phone every now and then during practices, he was often secluded in his room at home, and he was known to be unsociable, so if he looked secretive, no one dared bother to squeeze out information from him. When Tsukishima felt restless, he would confide in Yamaguchi on their way home or through phone.
It was also easier because theirs was a long-distance relationship. But that comfort had a price of constant pangs in the chest from missing Kuroo too much and wishing he could kiss those annoyingly chapped lips.
“I want to visit you,” Kuroo told him one day.
“I think it’s safer if I visited you,” Tsukishima replied. “Our town is smaller, and the chances of running into someone we know are high.”
Kuroo hummed in disappointment. “I don’t want to trouble you, though. Something might happen to you.”
“I’m fine,” Tsukishima responded with a click of the tongue. “I’m not a child.”
“Oh, but you’re so handsome, Kei. Who knows what would happen to you.”
“If I’m handsome, then what are you, a god?”
“Yes, and that’s enough for people to not want to touch me.” Kuroo laughed.
Tsukishima grunted. “If I’m not the one going there to Tokyo, then it’s better if we don’t meet at all.”
Kuroo got quiet. “You didn’t have to sound so mad.”
Tsukishima took a sharp intake of air. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. Finally, Tsukishima sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright, Kei.”
“I love you.” Tsukishima mumbled so softly that Kuroo almost didn’t hear it. But Kuroo quickly responded, with conviction, “I love you too.”
Tsukishima closed his eyes. “I miss you.”
“I miss you just as much.”
And if Tsukishima knew what would happen a few days later, he would have prepared himself, but Kuroo was known for his sudden surprises that Tsukishima hardly felt appalled when Yamaguchi came up to him during lunch to say, “I think you should miss practice this afternoon.”
Tsukishima eyed him curiously. “Why?”
“Kuroo-san wants you to meet him at the train station after class.”
Tsukishima blinked. He neglected to ask Yamaguchi how Kuroo had contacted him to tell him this, but he decided to simply nod his head. “Okay.”
He took a bus to the station from school and saw almost immediately Kuroo’s messy black hair looking left and right in search for the blond.
“You look ridiculous,” Tsukishima said, shaking his head. Kuroo’s face lit up at the sight of him and pushed against the bench to stand. “Kei,” he greeted cheerfully. “I’ve been trying to imagine you in that uniform, but I’d never figured you’d look as stunning as you are now.”
Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “If you aren’t careful, people might think you’re preying on a high school kid.”
Kuroo looked down at his clothes. “I should have worn my uniform then, too.”
“You think?”
They take a bus again back to Tsukishima’s house. Tsukishima gave Kuroo some credit; it was sort of smart to meet when the entire team was at the gymnasium practicing volleyball. “I know, I’m super smart,” Kuroo smirked. Tsukishima just rolled his eyes.
When they arrived at Tsukishima’s house, Kuroo marveled at the exterior. “So different from Tokyo houses!” Tsukishima shushed him, unlocking the front door to let him in.
Tsukishima led Kuroo to his bedroom and locked the door in the event that his mother arrives from grocery shopping and attempts to walk in without warning. He thought Kuroo would start browsing random items in his room, but he found the captain seated patiently on the bed instead. So he walked slowly over to him, let himself be pulled into an embrace, and succumbed to a kiss.
They kissed each other sloppily, hungrily, with so much pent up frustration and love that left Tsukishima breathless. “I missed you so much,” Kuroo seethed against Tsukishima’s neck, licking and nipping at his fair skin.
Tsukishima watched Kuroo impatiently unbutton his school uniform and yank it off his body to trail kisses all over his torso.
“Tetsu,” Tsukishima gasped. He could feel his heart threatening to jump out of his ribcage in apprehension of what was to come. He and Kuroo had only ever tried phone sex once or twice and Tsukishima would be too embarrassed to pull through. He could only imagine the gravity of Kuroo’s repressed thirst as the captain pulled off his own shirt and started to unbutton Tsukishima’s pants.
Tsukishima held Kuroo’s hands. “Wait.” Kuroo looked at him, panting. “Trust me, Kei.”
When Kuroo was about to pull down Tsukishima’s boxers, Tsukishima had to look away. He’d rather not see his most private part so out in the open with his lover there. Then, within a few seconds, a stimulating sensation followed. Tsukishima held back his moans, biting his lower lip and gripping the sheets of his bed. His eyes were shut tight, but this impairment only escalated his sense of touch, and the feeling of Kuroo’s mouth, his teeth, his tongue, electrified him.
“You don’t want to watch?” Kuroo asked when he pulled away briefly.
Tsukishima shook his head. He had too much pride.
He could feel Kuroo going faster and deeper and doing things with his tongue that made it more difficult for Tsukishima to restrain his lewd noises.
Finally, he gasped, “Tetsu. I’m about to—”
Kuroo pulled away just as white fluid spurted out all over Tsukishima’s torso. Tsukishima groaned at the disgusting feeling of semen pooling around his navel. Kuroo whistled. “That’s a lot.”
Tsukishima managed to open one eye and he grimaced at the mess. “I hate you.”
Kuroo gave him a smug grin then grabbed Tsukishima’s box of tissues on his desk to help clean some semen off his body. “I think we’d get rid of this faster with a mop, though.” Tsukishima gave him a well-deserved kick to the side.
When most of the fluid had gone, Tsukishima headed quickly to the bathroom to sanitize himself, pretending not to notice Kuroo’s masked disappointment when he couldn’t join in.
“Can you at least blow me too, so we have a reason to bathe together?”
“No.”
“Fine.”
Tsukishima returned to his room, clothed, and found Kuroo wearing his headphones, bopping his head to the music.
“Oh,” Kuroo said when Tsukishima took a seat beside him on the bed. “Yamaguchi texted you.”
Tsukishima retrieved his phone. “Sorry, Tsukki, they didn’t believe me when I said you had important things to do so you had to miss practice…” The message read. It ended with a sad emoticon.
“What did he say?” Kuroo inquired.
“Yamaguchi’s bad at lying,” Tsukishima said simply, as he lied comfortably on the bed. Kuroo took off Tsukishima’s headphones and lied next to him.
“Hey, Kei.”
“Yes?”
“It won’t be long before either of us gets found out, huh?”
Tsukishima turned his head to face Kuroo, the tip of their noses only centimeters apart. He stayed quiet.
“Come to think of it,” Kuroo said, “we won’t have reason to hide it from our teammates soon. I’ll be relieving my captaincy in a few months, after all. We won’t be rivals anymore.”
“I guess. But it’s not like I’m going to come out suddenly to everyone,” Tsukishima muttered.
“I wasn’t suggesting that.”
Kuroo started playing with Tsukishima’s hair. “I was just thinking that if someone finds out, then it’s fine. Let him know. I’m not going to outright deny that you and I are together.” He smiled. “In fact, if someone went up to me and asked, ‘Are you going out with that glasses guy?’ I would tell him ‘Yup, he’s mine, and I intend on keeping him for a long time.’”
Tsukishima couldn’t hide the blush on his cheeks. He rolled over so his back would face Kuroo instead. “You wouldn’t say that.”
“I would.”
“You’re such a fucking sap.”
“Let me be romantic, damn it.”
Kuroo embraced Tsukishima and hummed, satisfied. “I love you.”
Tsukishima grumbled. “By the way, I told my mom to buy mackerel for dinner.”
Kuroo gasped. “Kei, you’re a blessing.”
“Shut up.”
Tsukishima’s mother arrived an hour later, surprised when she saw her son standing next to a friend by the doorway. Tsukishima introduced Kuroo to her as a friend of his from Tokyo who would be joining them for dinner, if it was okay.
“It’s my pleasure,” Tsukishima’s mother chirped. “Kei never brings home a friend.”
Kuroo and Tsukishima watched a few shows on the television as Tsukishima’s mother cooked.
“They’ll be done practicing soon,” Tsukishima told Kuroo.
“It’s fine, I’ll leave by midnight.”
Tsukishima frowned. “That’s okay for you?”
“I’ll just catch up on sleep in the morning.”
Tsukishima didn’t like that Kuroo was willing to leave at the ungodly hours of the night just for the sake of their secrecy, but he understood that they weren’t going to see each other again for another lengthy period of time, and so he sighed in resignation. “I’ll keep you company, then.”
Kuroo’s face brightened. “I love you too.”
Tsukishima’s eyes widened. “Shh, my mom would hear you!” He seethed. “Why do you do that even?”
“You started it!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Tsukishima’s mother called them to the table a few minutes after. Kuroo was more than happy to help himself to the grilled salted mackerel, throwing compliment after compliment, and story after story to Tsukishima’s mother who giggled in amusement. Tsukishima kept rolling his eyes the entire meal, but a smile would escape his lips from time to time.
After dinner, Tsukishima and Kuroo retired to Tsukishima’s bedroom where they kissed and touched a few more times before crawling under the sheets to snuggle.
“You know,” Kuroo started, “I just realized we don’t have a photo together yet.”
“I don’t take photos,” Tsukishima murmured.
“But we have to,” Kuroo pressed. “It’s bad enough that I’ve only seen you twice these past months.”
“You’re so spoiled.”
“I promise to keep it hidden forever.”
“No.”
“Just one photo?”
“No.”
“I want to see your face everyday.”
“You’re creepy.”
“Oh, come on!”
Kuroo retrieved his phone from his pocket with a huff and prepared the camera. “I’ll just take what I can.”
“Tetsurou!”
“Hold still!”
Kuroo spent 2 minutes wrestling with Tsukishima in an effort to keep him from evading the lens. When he resorted to tickling, Tsukishima began kicking him violently.
The struggle ended with a victory on Kuroo’s part.
Tsukishima kept an ugly grimace as Kuroo lifted his phone. “Whatever, Kei,” he said. “No matter how ugly you’ll try to look, I’ll always want to wake up to this face.” The sound of the shutter reverberated through the room.
When Kuroo checked the photo, his eyes widened. He quickly looked at Tsukishima and, with a huge grin, attacked him with a tight embrace.
“Ugh, get off!” Tsukishima cried.
Kuroo would board the train later that evening, gazing lovingly at their photo together where Tsukishima was caught staring at Kuroo, ears red, with a small smile on his face.