Chapter Text
It was another ordinary day. In a house where there were so many portraits of a chubby blonde boy, nobody could have ever guessed that there were two other children inside the house- where if they were to combine, would equal half the mass of Dudley. It could even be put in a formula. Maddison plus Harry multiplied by 2 equals Dudley. The only formula that really made sense, honestly, in Maddison’s books.
Maddison groaned and accidentally elbowed her brother in the rib as she stirred to the shrill yell of their Aunt Petunia telling them to get up, earning a yelp and a shove from Harry. “Watch where you’re putting that!” Harry whisper-yelled to her. “I can’t see anything in here!” She retaliated under her breath. “Get up! Up!” Aunt Petunia screeched again, rapping on the door sharply. “The both of you, enough chattering! Up!” She heard the sound of Aunt Petunia walking to the kitchen and putting on a frying pan.
The twins manage to untangle themselves from the tattered blanket and Harry reaches up to turn on the measly lightbulb, then reaches over to slip on his glasses as Maddison groans and rubs her eyes. “You dream?” Maddison asks him groggily, as Harry flips onto his back. “Mmm.. I think it was.. like, on a flying motorcycle or something.. and-and we were-” Harry gestures vaguely with his hands before he gets rudely cut off by Aunt Petunia who is apparently right outside the door again. “Are you two up yet?” She demands, and Maddison answers. “Nearly.” “Well, get a move on. I need you two to watch the bacon, and don’t you dare let it burn. I want everything perfect on Dudley’s birthday.”
The twins let out a collective sigh, and they could hear their Aunt’s sneer through the door. “What did you say?” “Nothing!” Harry calls back, and the twins share an annoyed look.
Dudley’s birthday, of course. How could they forget? The two stumbled out of the bed and fought over a not-so-dusty pair of socks, in which Maddison won because she’s far too convincing- in her own opinion- leaving Harry to dig under the bed for a different pair. He pulled off a spider from one of them and Maddison scowled when he turned towards her cheekily and held it out in front of her. As a five-year-old, she’d have screamed and ran the other way, but she was used to the nasty buggers- or more like arachniders- by now. The two shared the cupboard under the stairs, and were well used to them by now. She swats his hand away and he pouts, but then breaks out into giggles. Maddison rolls her eyes but then joins in.
When they were out of their pajamas and in some of Dudley’s old clothes- which were far too big, especially for Harry; Maddison may be the girl, but she’s still taller than him- they both walked out into the kitchen. The table could barely be seen under all the presents piled on top of it; like some strange game of Jenga. Maddison finds herself wishing that Dudley will take one wrong present out and make the rest topple. Taking a glance at Harry shows that he’s probably thinking about the same thing.
Judging by the shapes of the presents, Maddison deduced two things; that Dudley had received everything that he wanted (and more, probably) and that she couldn’t care less about what he got. Though, one of them did seem to be a racing bike, which was a very big mystery to the twins. Dudley was a very big boy, and the only exercise he only ever got was punching people, which was usually either Harry or Maddison. Although, they both were very fast and usually outran the bag of lard.
They were both very skinny and small, though Maddison did stand a bit taller than Harry. Hell, if you looked at the two, you wouldn’t be able to guess that they were twins, or even siblings at all. They did share a tan skin tone and freckles, but everything else was different. Maddison had dark, fiery hair that went to her mid-back (Aunt Petunia had forbidden her from cutting it any shorter, because “Proper girls have long, beautiful hair!”.) and Harry had almost-black-brunette hair that fell with what could be called soft curls to his shoulders, and that apparently also had a mind of its own. Maddison had dark brown eyes that could only really be described as dirt-coloured, and Harry had bright green eyes that were almost blinding if you made the mistake of having too much eye contact with him. Harry wore glasses that were barely held together by some tape, and Maddison didn’t need any (or, at least she thinks so.).
Maddison had a scar on her left cheek that went up to the bottom of her left eye, and Harry had a scar on the right side of his forehead that started at his hairline and went all the way to his right eyebrow. Maddison vaguely remembers asking Aunt Petunia where they got their scars with Harry, and all she had answered with was “In the car crash that killed your parents.” and then added “And don’t ask questions.”. That was a thing that the twins learned early on; don’t ask questions. It was the first rule of a quiet life with the Dursley’s, but it barely was most of the time.
Uncle Vernon waddled into the kitchen as Harry turned over some bacon and Maddison rinsed some leftover dishes from last night. “Comb your hair!” He barked at her twin, before sitting down at his seat. Maddison suspects that Harry’s hair is sentient, because every time he gets it cut it grows out quickly and messily, and apparently hates getting combed because it just doesn’t stay in place. Maddison put a stack of plates next to the stovetop and Harry fried eggs when Dudley and their aunt entered the kitchen. Harry plated the eggs and bacon and Maddison helped him pass them out on the table, which was quite difficult seeing as more than ¾ of the table had been invaded by gifts.
Based on the look on Dudley’s round face as Maddison put his plate of bacon and eggs before him, he had been counting the amount of gifts on the table. And the way he frowned said that there wasn’t enough. Somehow. “Thirty-six.” The plump boy looked at his parents. “That’s two less than last year.” Harry and Maddison shared a look as they sat down as well. “Darling, you haven’t counted Aunt Marge’s present, see, it’s under this big one from Mummy and Daddy.” Aunt Petunia said in a sickly sweet voice. “All right, thirty-seven, then.” Said Dudley, who was already turning red in the face. After living in this house for the past 10 years, that was a tell-tale sign of a Dudley tantrum, and the twins quickly started wolfing down their bacon to avoid possibly getting their breakfasts ruined if he turned the table over.
Aunt Petunia could obviously sense the incoming tantrum as well, because she quickly spoke up, “And we’ll buy you two more presents while we’re out today! How’s that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right?” Maddison could witness the turning of gears inside of Dudley’s head as he thought about it. It seemed like hard work for him. After a moment of thought, he slowly said, “So.. i’ll have thirty.. thirty..” “Thirty-nine, sweetums.” Aunt Petunia answered for him. “Oh.” Dudley picked up the present closest to him. “All right, then.” The redness vanished from his face, and the twins almost let out a collective sigh of relief that they didn’t have to deal with a screaming and crying Dudley. He was like a baby in many aspects. Very fat, very round, and throws tantrums often. It was like he never stopped developing mentally (or physically) after the age of 1.
The family and Harry and Maddison continued their breakfasts, before the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went up to answer it as Uncle Vernon, Harry, and Maddison watched Dudley unwrap another present, or more like Maddison stared at her lap while the others probably watched him. After a few moments, Aunt Petunia comes back. “Bad news, Vernon, Mrs. Figg’s broken her leg. She can’t take them.” She jerked her head towards the twins and Maddison finally looked back up from her lap. Dudley looked a mix of furious and horrified, but the twins shared an eager grin. Every year, while Dudley and a friend or two got to enjoy going to wherever, Harry and Maddison were left behind with an old lady named Mrs. Figg who lived two streets away. They hated it there. It smelled like old lady and cabbage and she made them look at photographs of every cat she had ever owned.
“Now what?” Aunt Petunia all but demanded, staring daggers at Maddison and Harry like they were the ones that broke Mrs. Figg’s leg just to spite her. “We could phone Marge.” Uncle Vernon shrugged. “Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates them.” The Dursley’s more often than not talked about the twins as if they weren’t there, or if they couldn’t understand them. It made Maddison very angry, but it seems like Harry had already come to terms with it. “What about whats-her-name, your friend– Yvonne?” “On vacation in Majorca.” Aunt Petunia snapped. “You could just leave us here.” Harry adds in hopefully, and Maddison opens her mouth to support her brother before Aunt Petunia all but snarls at him. “And come back to find the house in ruins?” “We won’t blow up the house.” Harry mutters, but it’s clear that the Dursley’s aren’t listening anymore, and Maddison gives him a pat on the shoulder. E for effort, she supposes.
“I suppose we could take them to the zoo..” Aunt Petunia says slowly. “..And leave them in the car…” “The car’s new, they’re not sitting in it alone..” Dudley starts sobbing, but it isn’t really crying at all, more like screwing up his face and wailing really loudly. Somehow, it worked on Aunt Petunia. “Dinky Duddydums, don’t cry! Mummy won’t let them spoil your special day!” Maddison and Harry share a cringe. “I… don’t… want… them… t-to come!” Dudley wailed between pretend sobs. “They always sp-spoil everything!” The twins witness Dudley shoot them a nasty grin through the gap in his mother’s arms.
About a half hour later, and the twins really cannot believe their luck. Dudley, Harry, and Maddison were all sitting in the backseat of the Dursley’s car, going to the Zoo for the first time in the twin’s lives. It seems that Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia had run out of ideas of what to do with the twins, but Uncle Vernon had pulled the twins to the side before they left. “I’m warning the two of you,” He said, shoving his finger in Harry’s face, then Maddison’s. “I’m warning the two of you now– any funny business, anything at all– and you two’ll be in that cupboard until Christmas.” “We won’t do anything,” said Harry. “Honestly..” Maddison added. But, of course, Uncle Vernon didn’t believe them. Nobody ever did. Strange things always happened around the twins, unexplainable things, and it wouldn’t be helpful to tell the Dursley’s that they weren’t the cause.
One time Aunt Petunia cut Harry’s hair so short he was almost bald, except for his bangs that hid his scar, and when he had woken up the next morning, his hair looked as if it was never cut. Another time, Aunt Petunia had tried to put on one of Dudley’s revolting sweaters onto Maddison and the sweater kept shrinking until it could only fit a sock puppet. Either way, strange things always happened, but not today. Today would be normal, and nothing strange would happen. The twins would make sure of it.
It was a hot Sunday and the zoo was very crowded. Dursley got a big cone of chocolate and the twins two cheap lemon popsicles, because the ice cream vendor noticed them before they could be ushered away by the Dursley’s. It sort of just tasted like frozen lemon juice, but it wasn’t too bad, Maddison thought as she watched a gorilla in its enclosure with Harry, who they both agreed looked remarkably like Dudley, while snickering and lapping at their popsicles. They ate at the mediocre zoo restaurant, and got to share Dudley’s first knickerbocker glory because it didn’t have enough ice cream. It was the best day the twins had had in a long time, but they should have known that it was all too good to last.
After lunch, they all went to the reptile house. It was cold and dark, but there were lit windows along the walls. Maddison could handle this. She had been living in a cupboard with Harry, after all, but one thing that she couldn’t handle was snakes. Maddison feared snakes, ever since a small garden one slithered up to her and Harry one time when they were young, and had spoken to them. Harry was unbothered, and even spoke back, but this horrified Maddison, because snakes weren’t supposed to be able to talk to humans. She remembers then running into the house and wailing to Aunt Petunia about what had happened, but then of course got called a liar and yelled at. So, Maddison fears snakes. And hates them, too. The slithery little prats.
Madison had tried to ask to stay outside, but Harry ushered her in to avoid being yelled at or bullied by Dudley, with the promise of being able to cling to him. It was good enough for Maddison, so there she was, cowering behind Harry and clung to his arm like a leech everytime they got too close to one of the enclosures, especially the ones with the huge poisonous cobras or the thick, man-crushing pythons, which were what seemed to attract Dudley the most. In fact, he had found one of the biggest snakes in the place in record time. It was huge, large enough to crush Uncle Vernon’s new car, and Maddison practically vanished behind Harry, with only her wide brown eyes out to blink at the giant snake.
Dudley bravely stood as close to the glass as possible, with his nose squashed right against it. The snake was curled up, fast asleep, which did soothe Maddison a bit, but not Dudley. “Make it move.” He whined at his father. When Uncle Vernon tapped at the glass, the snake didn’t move. “Do it again.” Dudley demands, and Uncle Vernon rapped harder on the glass. The snake did not stir. “This is boring.” Dudley moaned, before shuffling away to gawk at a different reptile. Harry slowly led Maddison to the front of the tank, to Maddison’s dismay. “Careful,” Maddison breathes as Harry looked intently at the snake. “I-It looks poisonous!” “It can’t hurt you, it’s behind this thick glass.” Harry reminds Maddison, tapping on the glass. Maddison pouts, but shuffles to the side of Harry instead of behind him begrudgingly. She regrets this immediately, though, because just then the snake decides to wake up.
Maddison felt her body freeze over as the snake opened its beady eyes and raised its head until its eyes were level to theirs, about halfway between Harry’s and Maddison’s eyes. Then, it winked. The twins stared at the snake, then at each other, and then Harry swiveled his head around as Maddison went back to staring at the snake. Harry gave Maddison a look that said that no one else was watching. The snake jerked its head vaguely at Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling as if it were sassily rolling its eyes. Its look quite plainly said, “I get that all the time.”.
“I know,” Harry murmurs, as Maddison finally blinks her way out of her shock-induced stupor. And then shoots her brother a horrified look. “It must be really annoying.” The snake nods vigorously, and Maddison looks between the two frantically. “Harry,” She hisses to him. “Why are you talking to it?” “It’s not an ‘it’, it probably has a name.” Harry insists, then turns to the snake. “What’s your name?” The snake looks a little confused once it stops glaring at Maddison, but then, it gestures lazily to a sign on the glass. ‘Boa Constrictor, Brazil’. “That’s good enough,” Harry decides. “Was it nice there?” “It says it was bred in the zoo, Harry.” Maddison adds helpfully, as the snake nods sadly. “Oh, I see– so, you’ve never been to Brazil?”
Maddison’s about to help Harry again with his obliviousness, until a deafening shout comes from behind them. “DADDY, DADDY, LOOK AT THAT SNAKE!” It’s obviously Dudley, and he comes waddling over to the twins. “Out of way, you.” He shoves Harry to the side, making him collide with Maddison and trip over each other. Maddison falls with Harry onto the concrete, and what happened next was something that no one could guess. One second, Dudley was pressed right up against the glass, and the next was leaping back and yelping. Harry got up and tugged Maddison to her feet, and they both gasped at the same time.
The glass to the snake’s enclosure had vanished, and the giant snake was unfurling and slithering onto the ground. Maddison almost leapt into Harry’s arms as the snake slithered past the two, the sounds of people screaming and running out of the reptile house filling their ears. As the large snake slid by, the twins could swear they heard a low, hissing, “Thanksss..”.
By the time that they were all in the car, Dudley had finished fake-sobbing but was still dramatically complaining that the snake had almost bit his leg off and whatnot, Maddison mostly tuned him out. It wasn’t until Dudley said, “A-And those two! I swear, they were-were talking to it!” while frantically gesturing to the twins, that shared a wary look. Dudley had returned to his room, when they all got home, and Uncle Vernon turned on the twins, so angry he could hardly speak. All he managed was a “Go– cupboard– stay– no meals.” And that was that.
Harry and Maddison lay in their cupboard for what felt like minutes, but it probably was hours. Whenever something like this happened, they would just talk. Talk, and talk, talk about anything on their minds. Usually it was Maddison ranting about “This isn’t our fault, I hope they know! Just because they hate us, every little problem is suddenly because of us.” or “That fat little pig should’ve fallen into that enclosure, he would’ve been a much more entertaining sight than a snake.” and Harry nodding and snickering in agreement. They wished they had a watch, though, because it definitely was dark but they had no clue if the Dursley’s would be asleep yet, so they couldn’t sneak out for food without risking being caught. So, once they had both blown off some steam, they sort of just stared up at the ceiling of the cupboard together and going to where conversation always ended up at, their parents.
Not Aunt Petunia or Uncle Vernon, but their actual parents. They’d talk about never remembering a car crash, as Aunt Petunia said, but instead remembering a vague memory of blinding green light and burning pains where their scars were, but they supposed that was the crash. They never remembered their parents, how they even looked, and their aunt and uncle never talked about them, and we all know that asking questions was forbidden. Nobody liked Maddison and Harry at school, with their baggy old clothes and Harry’s taped-up glasses and Maddisons ginger-ness.
But, they suppose that they have each other, and that’s good enough for the both of them.