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Steve had always wondered what love would feel like. He knew his love with Nancy wasn’t the full experience. They got along until they didn't and he thought he loved her, but it was clouded by other things. Neither of them were in the right mindset to be in a relationship at the time, so it ended. It wasn’t until a few years later that Steve learned what love really felt like. Sure, it was warm hugs and soft kisses, but it was also everything else. The late night conversations, the drunken ramblings, the shared secrets. The quiet moments together and the loud ones, filled with laughter and joy.
At first Steve was scared to love Eddie. After Nancy, he was apprehensive to give his heart to someone. He didn’t want to be hurt so badly again. The wounds had healed, but there were still scars. He didn’t want to feel that way ever again, so he was scared to risk it. He thought about just ignoring the connection he felt with Eddie. He thought he had felt a connection with Nancy too and he saw how that turned out. Eventually, he decided to risk it because Eddie was just too kind.
At first, he was reserved. Besides the general getting to know each other better, Steve was still scared to share his heart again. For a short time, he almost wished they wouldn’t work out, that Eddie would find something wrong with him and leave so Steve wouldn’t have to worry about getting too deep. But he stayed, they both stayed and as time went on, Steve was glad Eddie didn’t leave him. Eddie was kind, sweet and the most compassionate man Steve had ever met. He was caring and loving, even though he didn’t always come from that kind of environment. He would always offer an ear to anyone who needed it or advice for a tough situation, a trait that Steve admired but also envied. Steve could act as a mother or guardian over the kids, keeping them safe no matter it be a Demogorgon or a hurt knee, but he had a hard time offering sincere advice in a way Eddie seemingly had no problem with.
That’s one of the things Steve loves about Eddie. He embodies the traits that Steve struggles with. They aren’t completely alike and Steve cherishes that because he doesn’t think he would love Eddie the same if they were completely alike. Their differences are what made their relationship interesting and fun. They have different interests, opinions and thoughts on things, some that Steve doesn’t agree with, but he doesn’t always have to agree. They have their differences and that’s what makes life better. Steve doesn’t want a partner who would agree with everything he said, because that would be boring and he would never get to hear a unique perspective and Eddie has a lot of unique perspectives.
One day, when they were whispering under the cover of night, Steve had asked Eddie what season he thought he would be. Eddie had said spring because he’s bright and fun, something Steve had never considered himself to be. When Eddie returned the question, Steve replied with fall. When asked why, Steve couldn’t give an answer besides, “cozy and warm”. Steve just thought of Eddie as fall and couldn’t really explain further than vibes. Fall was Steve’s favorite season, so it makes sense that he would find someone who matched.
Over the course of their few month relationship, Steve wondered what love meant. He knew what movies would say or what books think it is, but to him, to be loved is to be accepted. Eddie accepts him wholly. His thoughts, his faults, his shortcomings and his achievements. His attitude and his inability to ask for what he wants. He accepts his dark times and his brightest ones. He accepts his secrets, whether they be about past regrets or lost childhood dreams. In turn, Steve accepts Eddie. His interests, his plans for the future, his hard past. He accepts him in every way, because they all contribute to the amazing person that Eddie is.
Steve also accepts that Eddie wants to make music and tour, which would separate them, but would make Eddie happy and fulfilled and that’s all Steve wants. He never wants Eddie to feel discouraged or unsupported, so he does his best to be there for him and encourage him to achieve whatever he wants, even if the thought of them being apart makes him sad. But, he’d rather be sad than Eddie feel stuck or unhappy.
To love and to be loved is about acceptance. Acceptance that they might not be together in the future and acceptance that life can change in so many ways, as they’ve experienced first hand. Acceptance doesn’t have to involve understanding or relating, but it involves taking in whatever Eddie says he wants to do and being okay with uncomfortable situations. Steve doesn’t have to agree with everything, but he accepts it, because that’s what love is to Steve. It’s unconditional and uncertain, but at least Steve has Eddie for the time being and that’s all he cares about.