Work Text:
Bittersweet Poetry rewrite
Mizuki Akiyama, a 3rd year at Kamiyama Junior High, had just arrived back home. She walked through the living room passing their sister without a word. Mizuki opens the door to their room and closes it. Walking over to their closet they took off their red button up uniform and changed into a white loose and large shirt and black loose pants. They looked two sizes larger than they should’ve been but Mizuki didn’t care. It hid their disgusting body from them.. One that didn’t fit them.. Their mind began rushing with thought after thought before giving in. They go over to their desk and take out a box cutter and sit down on their bed. Taking off their pants they release the blade by pushing it up.
Suddenly, a knock is at the door and the door opens seeing Yuuki Akiyama, Mizuki’s older sister. “Mizuki—!” she shouts, snatching the blade out of their hand. “What are you doing..?!” She looks down at her sibling, seeing their thigh cut up with several scars. Some look fresher than others but none look well taken care of. Yuuki tilts Mizuki’s head to look up at her. “Hey. Look at me.” Yuuki sits down beside her. “What’s wrong..? She rubs her siblings shoulder waiting for them to speak.
Mizuki opens their mouth and tries to speak but all that comes out is silence. They can’t hold their tears anymore and begin crying. They cling onto Yuuki. Yuuki holds them in her arms. Mizuki starts to speak. “Yuuki.. I'm.. i’m really really sorry.. I'm sorry for hurting myself. I’m sorry for cutting myself and causing myself pain but.. I'm not sure what else to do. Bullying at school isn’t any better and school is too stressful it makes me feel like.. I can’t control anything..”
Yuuki rubs her siblings shoulder, listening. “I know how you feel. I know you hate when I bring it up but it's elementary. You were so happy to wear the outfit I made for you just to be crushed. I want you to always be yourself, Mizuki. I know it will be hard, it always will no matter how people change and how we change as a society.. It will always be hard but try to stand strong.. Cutting yourself or harming yourself in any way won’t help it, little sister..”
Mizuki froze when her sister called her that. Little sister?! How did Yuuki know she was a trans girl..? Was it really that obvious that she was struggling because of dysphoria? She sat there until Yuuki lightly tapped her on the shoulder. “Mizuki..? Are you alright..? You went silent.” Yuuki said it calmly, almost as a way to soothe the area around them so it isn't as intense of an atmosphere.
“Yeah I’m..” Mizuki cut herself off. She knew that just saying “I’m alright” wouldn’t work at all in this situation. She very clearly wasn’t okay at all. Especially now how clear it was to Yuuki. “I’m not alright. But how did you know that I'm like.. You know.. A trans girl?” Mizuki said kind of embarrassedly. She didn’t think it would be that obvious considering she started to repress it. She stopped going on shopping dates with her sister once she started middle school. She could barely handle the teasing but decided to try to conform to some extent. She stopped showing off her pins of M@GICAL GIRL LALA on her bag just so she could conform to what she found normal. She tried to listen to the popular artists among her age group like Yaosobi, Babymetal, Lovebites, but none of them compared to her favorite idol groups and western bands. Despite her love of cute things she loved American rock. My Chemical Romance, Bloodhound Gang, The Cardigans, she loved them. She oftenly stumbled across these bands on online forums and tried to buy all the CDS she could. But, out of fear of judgement, she stopped being excited about it.
Yuuki embraced Mizuki into a hug. “I can tell when my little sister is in pain. You used to get so excited talking about your interests and our little sister to sister shopping dates when you were young. I could tell something was up. You mean a lot to me Mizuki and it pains me to see you this way. And if you’re worried about mom and dad not accepting you, they do. They always have.” Yuuki chuckles lightly “It feels like you were the only one who didn’t know you were truly a girl at heart. We all figured it out when you were young and stared at the dresses in the windows of stores and how your little eyes glimmered each time I made an outfit for you. It was adorable. But, my point is Mizuki, we are all here for you.” Yuuki gave her a smile.
Tears began to run down Mizuki’s face and embraced Yuuki. She could never ever wish for a better sister than her. Yuuki gave her the courage she needed to want to continue being herself. “Yuuki… Thank you. Thank you so much for everything. I think.. I’m gonna try to embrace my interests again.” She touched her own hair. It was really short. Shorter than she liked it but she wanted to be like the other people assigned male at birth at her school. “Yuuki.. I think I’m gonna try growing my hair out. I think it’ll make me feel more.. Like a girl I guess..” Mizuki smiled at the thought of being more feminine. To be perceived as a girl!? That would be like heaven on earth for her. Even though it felt so distant but now that she knows she has the support of her sister it felt achievable.
Yuuki patted Mizuki on the head. “Hey let's make a deal. You give me all the sharp stuff in your room and I’ll give you something for it. Deal?” Yuuki smiled.
“Sure. I think that would help me a lot with what I’m dealing with to have it out of sight.” Mizuki smiled. Wiping away her tears. Yuuki and Mizuki sat up. Mizuki began gathering up all of her sharp objects from throughout her room and put them into a box.
While Mizuki went around collecting blades Yuuki had something special in mind for Mizuki. Shortly after Mizuki finished getting everything Yuuki came in with a big box. It had almost all of Yuuki’s prototype clothing during her classes. Mizuki’s eyes lit up at the sight and handed the box of blades over to Yuuki excitedly. “This.. This is all for me..! Really..?” Mizuki said excitedly. She had admired Yuuki’s clothing and the way that she made her outfits and they all seemed like they fit Mizuki well. The side of the chest and the shoulder ratio seemed like it was meant for her build.
Yuuki smiled and took the box from Mizuki “Mhm.. I always used your figure as a way to measure my clothes.. Why not give it to my little model..?” She patted Mizuki on the head again and gave her a hug. “Thanks for being honest, Little Sister.”