Chapter 1: Reports from Shroom City
Summary:
In a world where Origami King happens before TTYD, an undercover X-Naut in Shroom City gets caught up in the madness.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Month ♪, Day ○♥
X-Naut 1657 has gone undercover in Shroom City. X-Nauts 1274 and 1532 continue monitoring as normal.
Month ♥, Day ♪X
X-Nauts 1274 and 1532 report a localised anomaly in the day-night cycle of Scorching Sandpaper Desert. Shroom City has completely emptied out. Location of locals unknown. All contact with X-Naut 1657 has been lost.
Month ♥, Day ♪♥
Shroom City has been taken over by Snifits and renamed Snif City. The sun within the desert continues not to rise. X-Naut 1657 remains MIA.
Month X○, Day ○○
X-Naut 1657 has re-established contact. Not with a report but a request for parental leave.
Sir Grodus presses a hand to his head, wondering what he’s done to deserve this.
Notes:
Would you like the list in alphabetical or chronological order?
-
Referring to the X-Nauts with numbers rather than names is not what I usually do, but I couldn't be bothered to think of any names for them this time. Still, I think the anonymity works pretty well here.
I did my best, but that dating system is utter nonsense when looked at more closely. I treated it as a base-5 and ignored everything contradicting that.
Also, I just really love the ambiguity here. The sheer number of possible interpretations... it gives me a warm fuzzy, it does.
Chapter 2: Safety
Summary:
Sir Grodus remains a paranoid contrarian.
Notes:
I am genuinely touched by the trust shown in me by those who already left kudos here - you don't know what's to come and you can't take it back later, but it sure didn't stop you. <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sir Grodus would never admit to even feeling safe let alone comfortable in these arms, but Lord Crump knows he does anyway.
Notes:
This one might look clear-cut and unambiguous, but before being distilled down to its essence it was actually about postgame Lord Crump passing Sir Grodus on to someone else. Grodus, naturally, would kick up quite a fuss over it.
Chapter 3: Computing Feelings
Summary:
Is there a difference between a fool and a winner?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Hmph. Fool. You seek affection from a cold, unfeeling machine.”
“Mm, but I’m getting it, so who’s the real winner here? …It’s both of us, by the way. The answer is: both of us.”
Notes:
My takes on these characters might not be accurate, but they're my takes. Go replay the game if you want canon.
Chapter 4: Gonna Need a Bigger Bunny
Summary:
Obligatory Super Mario Odyssey crossover.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Y’know, the argument that we have to take over Earth in order to live there peacefully is kind of undercut by Broode going native and getting no trouble for it.”
“Yeah, the leadership was real unhappy about that one, dude.”
“Still, what do they expect us to do about it? She’s even bigger than Sir Grodus, and he’s big enough to squash any of us flat if he wanted to!”
Notes:
My common concept for X-Nauts has defaulted to more of a (moon alien) cabbit than a rabbit, though Odyssey crossovers are their own thing entirely. Crump's ears just make more sense to me that way. (Of course they're ears: ever seen horns fold like that? That's what I thought.) ...Also I just really want them to have fangs. I like fangs.
Chapter 5: Vulnerability is the Hardest Thing
Summary:
Grodus may or may not be in denial.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Grodus held himself still despite the alien feeling of another’s hands on him and tried to convince himself that having a halfway decent mechanic actually understand his functions was just a perfectly practical precaution.
Notes:
I enjoy making this trashfire robot squirm even more than I enjoy watching him get totally trashed by Fire Drive, and I enjoy watching him get totally trashed by Fire Drive a lot.
Chapter 6: Your Own Worst Enemy
Summary:
Time / Dimensional travel is an excellent way to see how far you've come, for better or for worse.
Notes:
Every time I read someone having written ' Grodus' ' instead of ' Grodus's ' I can't help but think: "This is getting out of hand... now there are two of them!" This has nothing to do with the actual ficlet, it's just one of those tangentially-related things one writes in the Author's Notes, as it were.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Life Shroom activated on a delay long enough for his killer to be long gone by the time Sir Grodus’s internal processes started back up. He took stock of his body’s status: damaged but functional. He’d had worse. Like not having a body at all.
Still, that showing had proven his past self right on one thing: he really had gone soft. Not that that was necessarily a bad thing, he thought while gazing at the ring adorning his hand. Sometimes, the only options were to bend or to break. It just meant he couldn’t fight himself in his prime on equal footing. Which meant having to outsmart him, instead, with all the tricks he’d picked up over the years since.
Sir Grodus gripped his staff tighter and started making his way to the Palace of Shadow. He couldn’t take the risk of things going catastrophically wrong in this timeline – not while he was in it. He only hoped he wasn’t too late.
Notes:
You would not believe the sheer delight I experienced on realising this ficlet fits perfectly with my Grodus/Luigi fic concept! ...I could just leave that there and not elaborate on it... but I guess I will, anyway!
So, basically, all this ambiguity gave me the thought of "but who can you ship Sir Grodus with besides Lord Crump?" and the answer I came up with is: anyone at all, as long as you're willing to put in the work. Grodus/Mario? Sure, if you first dedicate a hundred thousand words or so to getting them out of the 'hating each other's guts' phase. Grodus/Peach? Well, AUs are your friend here: do the composite character thing of making Grodus play some of TEC's role. End result: one extremely confused robotic overlord, soon to become Bowser's rival in the princess-napping business! As for the Grodus/Luigi concept... well, that one I really want to write at least a couple snippets for, so I guess I'll be leaving it at that. For now.
Chapter 7: Not Always Unrequited
Summary:
Lord Crump never expected his feelings to be returned.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lord Crump had long ago made peace with the fact his feelings were never going to be returned. Now, lying in bed between his lovers, he could only marvel at his fortune, and just how wrong he’d been.
Notes:
Lord Crump deserves good things and you can't change my mind.
Chapter 8: Practical Concerns of Xenophilia
Summary:
Checking for possible problems before getting frisky with a member of another species is simply the sensible thing to do.
Chapter Text
“All right, I’ve got the report from the medical department here. Looks like we’re anatomically compatible, biochemically safe for each other, and genetically… ‘not going to be able to reproduce without major technological and or magical intervention’. So, if you still wanted to try physical bonding, we’ve been cleared to do that. I’m still game for it.”
Notes:
Look, you just gotta have your priorities in order, okay?
Chapter 9: Component Rot
Summary:
He has no idea how he keeps getting roped into this.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Y’know… I’m really enjoying this. Being all soft and mushy for a change. Can we do this again?”
“‘Soft and mushy’ sounds like component rot.” He makes the mistake of meeting the hopeful eyes gazing adoringly at him. “…But if that’s what you want, I suppose we can.”
Component rot indeed.
Notes:
...I think there's a pattern emerging regarding Sir Grodus and my writing of him. What can I say? I have a thing for villains that firmly deny caring for anyone besides themselves, completely believe themselves that they don't, and are also blatantly wrong about it. He's going to need a major wake-up call to get that himself, though. Something like, say, the threat of losing that person he cares about. Oh, excuse me, doesn't care about, he doesn't do that kinda thing, it's just that they're his. My bad.
Chapter 10: Entropy
Summary:
Grodus knew from the start getting attached was a mistake.
Notes:
Look! An actual drabble! 100 words exactly! I never set out to write a drabble - neither forcefully prolonging a shorter text nor shortening a longer one sounds particularly appealing to me - but if I happen to hit something close to 100 words? That's when editing steps in.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Grodus had known from the start getting attached was a mistake. He’d known, he just couldn’t stop himself.
Now… He wants to order, to demand, to force his will to become reality through any means necessary. He feels the degrading urge to beg and plead, anything so long as it gets him what he wants. ‘Stay.’ ‘Don’t leave me.’ But he knows it’s futile. All too well does he know.
Even his parts wear down with time, and not all of his components can simply be replaced, not while remaining meaningfully himself.
A soft being of flesh stands no chance.
Notes:
*Laughs in the last ficlet being immediately followed up by this one* - Caring is pain. That it's also essential to who we are doesn't really help in the moment.
Chapter 11: Anger Not the Possessive Mage
Summary:
King Olly really should have left well enough alone.
Notes:
You think you're a big shot villain, don't you Olly? Well, you're not. You're an angry, unthinking child throwing a superpowered tantrum, and the best way to demonstrate that is by making you face a real world-conquering menace.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The only reason King Olly avoids the flame is because Scissors pushes him out of the way – and then screams in a way that’s going to haunt him for at least weeks to come.
He finds himself gaping at it in horror. Far more fire-resistant than him, it’s still in one piece and moving (if only barely), but had that been him instead…
There’d be nothing but ashes left.
“You dare.” The strangely crackling snarl breaks him out of his shock, reminding him that whoever was behind the attack is still around. He turns towards the sound, vaguely aware of the rest of his Legion grouping in his protection – but they’re clearly all shaken by Scissors going down so easily, when nothing before has even fazed it.
Out from the smoke stalks… some kind of robed, mechanical figure, large enough not to be dwarfed by his Legion, goggles gleaming threateningly and lights in its head shining in colours that seem to shift in sync with the power emanating from the staff it’s carrying. It’s protected by a forcefield that gives the Origami King pause – never before has he faced magic truly a match for his own. It’s not a pleasant feeling.
And up on its shoulders, peering at him over its head with the smuggest look he’s ever seen, is the not-actually-a-Toad he’d been trying to silence just now. “You dare try to harm that which is mine!?”
Somehow, he doesn’t think trying to explain he’d thought they were a Toad would help him much.
Notes:
(...The joke is that King Olly has literally only lived for weeks. That's his frame of reference for 'probably as long as I live!')
Anyway, this is it for now! We started with an Origami King crossover, and we're ending on an Origami King crossover for those delicious bookends. I'll be taking a break for other fic, but rest assured I'll return to this lot of goofs eventually - I am by no means finished with them! Not even close...
Chapter 12: Earth Pride
Summary:
They never did this kinda thing on the Moon. Crump loves it.
Chapter Text
Crump’s never experienced anything quite like this before. There’s so many people – more species than he’s ever seen together in one place, too – decked out in bright colours, loud and cheerful. Flags and clothes and trinkets declaring all kinds of identities not considered the norm here. He can recognise… most of them, he thinks. All the ones X-Nauts – well, former X-Nauts for the most part – have been gleefully sharing with him, at least. All “Look, look, it’s me!”, “Hey, Crump-o, is this you?” and “They’ve got a flag for Mel, can you believe it, dude?” Really, he’s just happy that they’re happy.
He saw Vivian and her goomba… friend? At least friend, whatever else she may or may not be, anyway, just now. They didn’t notice him, which is just as well. They’re not exactly friends, and he doesn’t think the goomba student likes him very much. (Goombella, his inner Four-Eyes supplies. He shuts it down quickly.) Going in the opposite direction from them is as good a way to decide where to go next as any, so he does just that. There’s a lot of stalls over here, so he might as well see if there’s anything that catches his fancy there.
As a matter of fact, there is, and it doesn’t even take him long to find. He sends a picture of the wares over to Sir Grodus – more to confirm he hasn’t managed to break himself while Crump’s away than anything else. There’s always that worry in the back of his mind that he’s going to come back to ashes where the house is supposed to be whenever he has to go somewhere and leave his former leader there. The response he gets is both surprising and unsurprising at the same time. Crump’s known Grodus for a long time now, and knows he would never admit to holding any desire for something as insignificant as mere trinkets, but reading between the lines, he definitely likes a few of these. And the ones he expresses that not-interest in… Well. It’s nice to have some of his suspicions confirmed, Crump supposes. Or as confirmed as wanting some trinkets counts for, anyway.
He doesn’t have to think long before forking over the coins for both his and Grodus’s choices. They’re never going to have the money to build him a new body, and if they did, this amount wouldn’t matter in the slightest. It’ll be good to bring something back for his (ex?-)boss: Crump feels kinda bad about leaving him on his own even though he knows full well Grodus needs time alone and has never liked crowds, even back when he could defend himself if needed. It’s only gotten worse since then.
But he wasn’t supposed to be worrying about Sir Grodus – the whole point of this outing was to get out, clear his head and enjoy himself. So that’s what he’s going to do. It’s been entirely too long since Crump’s gotten out to mingle properly, and he’s going to make the most of this opportunity.
Notes:
Fun stuff. I might even have more come next year... but before that, some other ficlets! ...Soon. Let me just finish my Kingdom Hearts fic first, and then we can see about some more X-Nauts!
Chapter 13: Lights
Summary:
His status indicators are not cute.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“What are you staring at?”
“I like your blinking lights.”
“…I loathe your entire existence.”
Notes:
That's not a very nice thing to say, but we'll forgive you anyway, you utter trash machine (affectionate).
Chapter 14: Domination
Summary:
He's going to enjoy this.
Notes:
(...I have written it. Therefore, I must post it.)
I can't tag for this. There's (at least) two possible interpretations with entirely different warnings required. Tread lightly, I guess?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
He reminds himself to hold back. Little power. Low voltage. Keep it light. Make it uncomfortable but not outright painful. He doesn’t want them damaged, merely to make them heel. After all, he needs them functional. It’s not like he’s in any real hurry to accomplish this task, anyway. He can drag this out for however long it takes for them to break.
Notes:
I'll just... go hide in a corner for a bit, okay? Okay.
Chapter 15: (In)Organic Bonding
Summary:
TEC-XX doesn't understand what it's seeing.
Notes:
Another drabble! I'm feeling very accomplished. Also, finally some TEC-XX - with it/its pronouns despite being no Murderbot.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
TEC-XX witnesses most of what goes on in the X-Naut Fortress. Consequently, it is quite familiar with the many forms of bonding organic beings engage in. It is unbothered by such things, though it has neither the means nor the desire to engage in them itself. With its fellow mechanical lifeform similarly uninterested, it has concluded this bonding is simply an ‘organic thing’.
Now, though, it finds itself questioning this assumption. Mostly because it can find no other explanation for what’s happening in the control chamber. All of which is to say-
-What is Sir Grodus doing to Lord Crump?!
Notes:
TEC's going to remember this, you know. And yet, you just know Grodus is going to be surprised by his computer self-shipping with an organic down the line...
Chapter 16: Permanence
Summary:
Some things are constant.
Notes:
*Points at the tags* It's time for some entirely unambiguous shipping.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Some things are constant. Simple, unchanging facts that simply are, and will continue to be for as long as imagination reaches.
The Moon orbits Earth as Earth orbits the Sun. The tides ebb and flow. Days pass into nights pass into days again.
And Crump loves Grodus, deeply and irrevocably.
Notes:
Honestly, I don't know how one can not ship them, onesided or otherwise, when - *gestures at Crump's downright anguished crying out of Grodus's name when about to be launched into space by his exploding mecha* - y'know, that is a thing. I mean, I guess it could be read with a different tone, but I certainly can't see it any other way.
Chapter 17: Competence and Loyalty
Summary:
Sir Grodus hates being wrong. Most of the time.
Notes:
Y'all ever think about villains in the postgame?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sir Grodus hates… a lot of things, really, but what’s immediately relevant at the moment is that he hates being wrong. It galls him to admit he’d ever been wrong, even to himself.
Lord Crump had failed him repeatedly, which could only mean he was either disloyal or incompetent, and whatever his faults, Crump’s loyalty has never been in question. That his streak of failures had started right as Mario came into the picture had been irrelevant. No one man could possibly cause so much trouble to someone actually competent.
Or so he’d thought at the time. Then he’d encountered Mario face to face himself and been rapidly proven wrong on far too many counts. Far, far too many counts. He’d thought that’d be the end of him – left broken and lost in the deepest reaches of the Palace of Shadow, betrayed and abandoned by everyone.
He’d been wrong on that count as well, and that’s the one time he can admit to being glad for it. Lord Crump – his strange, rather out there underling he’d sacrificed for his goal as useless – had gone out of his way to find him. Hasn’t abandoned him, then or since, even though he could do so at any time. Even though it’d be as easy as walking away and not returning.
Sir Grodus can’t force him to stay, yet he does anyway. It’s a strange thing, but one he’s as much grateful for as he’s puzzled by, difficult as it is to admit. There’s no one else he can trust. Even that ‘else’ doesn’t always feel true, despite repeated evidence to the contrary.
He sees it now, every day: Lord Crump isn’t incompetent. Can’t be, with the way he’s keeping the X-Nauts afloat now that they’re all marooned on this planet. Nothing like the controlled takeover Grodus had envisioned. They’re dependent on the locals now, forced to integrate into their society. There’s no telling how disastrously the attempt would go without Crump smoothing things over.
Sir Grodus hates being wrong, but even more than that, he hates being dependent on another. That vulnerability… he can’t stand it. But maybe, just maybe, if it’s Crump… he thinks it might be just a little bit less unbearable.
Notes:
Rambling about my own thought processes incoming, feel free to skip:
You ever have long trains of thought you end up completely forgetting besides the final conclusion, which instead becomes cemented in your mind? Because I do. And so I have these ideas like 'Galacta Knight hates Dark Matter', 'Demyx is a summoner', 'Tape is super into cooking', 'Smithy doesn't understand gender'... and 'Lord Crump is a good people boss'.
Lately, I've been thinking of where I got that last one from. We see a lot of Crump as an enemy, but not much of how he acts when surrounded by allies. He never has an actual conversation with any of his underlings on screen, and even only directly interacts with Grodus twice during the course of the game - briefly, at that (and no, I'm not counting the epilogue). In other words, there's two ways to think about it: either we've been robbed, or there's a lot of leeway there.
I think... the first thing is when he calls Johnson by name, showing that he can tell X-Nauts apart and knows at least some of their names. (Headcanon that Crump would near-immediately clock on to the disguised Peach being a fake by virtue of not recognising her - and TEC knowing about this and planning accordingly.) The second can be traced back to Four-Eyes, actually. Specifically, the part where the ghosts attack the S.S.Flavion. Now, I played the remake, and this is apparently different in the original version, but I got the impression of the embers specifically targetting the people trying to take charge and quell the panic - first Bobbery, then Four-Eyes. And considering the circumstances, I feel Crump didn't have much time to consider maintaining character - no, that was his true nature shining through. But that's just my impression of it.
So, Crump, very specifically, knows his people. Knows which ones can be trusted to take charge of others, which ones will handle themselves in changed circumstances just fine, which ones need guidance and aid, which ones will drift helplessly without clear instructions and work very efficiently with them... And with Grodus (temporarily) out of the picture, most X-Nauts will turn to Crump to lead them. He can't let them down, so he won't. To Grodus, who is distinctively not a people person, it looks like, uh, magic, except magic wouldn't look the same to him as to how that expression is used... well, you get my drift, anyway. With all that being said, Crump is 100% going to crash the moment he can afford to.
Chapter 18: The Inevitable Crossover
Summary:
I can't stop crossing everything over with Kingdom Hearts. :(
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
What remained of Lord Crump cursed selfish old men and their plans, ambitions, and control issues to high hell, though he wasn’t really feeling it.
“First time?” asked the smooth, white being beside him sympathetically.
Notes:
I remain horribly predictable with my crossovers - or maybe that's just how it feels like to me. I guess a lot of the stuff I find to be recurring in my fics is in incomplete, unposted works, or even ones still in pure ideas stage...
Chapter 19: A Squad Sticks Together
Summary:
You love your squad.
Notes:
Here, have a reader-insert ficlet! (Not, it should be said, reader-insert romance... unless you want to interpret it that way, I guess.) Or skip it. Up to you, really.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Your shift over, you are about to head back to your room when you’re interrupted by your name being called and a hand on your shoulder, though it’s quickly retracted. You turn around to find your whole squad looking at you with a mixture of uncertainty and… excitement? Your addition to the group has been surprisingly painless – they’ve welcomed you with open arms despite some stumbling over cultural differences. (You’re still kind of in disbelief over being accepted in at all, but clearly Sir Grodus cares more about your loyalty and willingness to work for him than your origin or species.)
Zelfin, your team’s unofficial spokesnaut, is unsurprisingly the one to speak up first. “Uh, so, we were talking the other night, and figured you might not know? We all sleep together in the same room, squads usually do that, it’s a bonding kinda thing. You’re super welcome to join us if you want!”
“Anytime you want!” Chard chimes in, enthusiastic as always.
Zelfin nods in agreement before continuing, “Yeah, we don’t wanna make you feel left out! But if you wanna keep sleeping on your own, that’s cool, too.”
“There’ll always be room for you,” Quinton adds, voice as soft as usual but unusually serious.
You think the suggestion over. If it was anyone else asking, you’d probably refuse at the moment, but your squadmates… Well, they’re your squadmates. The best bunch of X-Nauts in the entire base, as far as you’re concerned. Your pals, the ones you trust to watch your back and who trust you to watch theirs.
Besides, you doubt you’ll be losing your room just from sleeping somewhere else for a night or two – you can go right back if it ends up being too much for you. You think it’s worth a try. “Sure, why not?” you respond with a little shrug.
Your squadmates’ response is jubilant as all get-out – their joy is catching if a little overwhelming – and confirms you definitely made the right choice, here.
Notes:
Naming X-Nauts is fun. Based on the grand total of three names we have from canon, they have an esoteric naming convention - 'proper' names, completely made-up ones and real-but-not-name nouns are all fair game. Consequently, you get all three in this one! I'm usually total garbage at naming anything, but clearly being freed from all constraints makes the process easier for me.
I'll be taking another break for other fic now. Possibly I could post these one at a time rather than in batches - the average word count seems to be increasing even if the variation remains high - but I'll see what feels like it works best.
Shadow_Wolf75 on Chapter 3 Sat 15 Mar 2025 07:41AM UTC
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