Work Text:
The infirmary bed wasn't as comfortable as his chambers bed was, nor was it like his dorm room's mattress. Though, he supposed, he lost the luxury to complain about such a thing.
Laying on a normal pillow was even stranger. Normally, he could never sleep on normal pillows, due to his horns cutting up the fabric, and the material. But now, here he laid, his head resting against the pillows, gifted generously by Silver.
Silver had worried and doted on him, as had Sebek. As had Lilia.
He wondered if it was because of how pitiful he looked.
Here he was: the mighty Malleus Draconia, felled by the combined efforts of the children of men, humans and his own fae kind. Defeated. Declawed.
The ugly, jagged stumps of where his horns had been were enough to make Lilia make a pained choking noise. Lilia could scarcely keep his composure as he practically crawled through rubble and fire to where Malleus had fallen.
Lilia had curled around the fallen dragon, starring into his eyes as he desperately pleaded to not die. To fight the blots consumption of him.
To not be like his mother.
Malleus knows now. He knows everything. He knows that Lilia had loved him ardently, enough to hand over his life force to Malleus for him to come into this world with him.
Sebek had begged for time, the members of S.T.Y.X couldn't take him, not when he was so weak and needed rest and recovery before he would be reasonably looked over, unlike the previous overblotters.
Shroud, despite being asleep for so long, was exhausted, and stated that they could all do with a break. Which led to now. Where Malleus laid awake in the infirmary, surrounded by all who loved him.
They had all taken to rest around his bed, his hand clasped into Lilia's, while also holding Silver's. Sebek gripped onto Silver's other hand, with his head resting on his shoulder.
All three fought sleep. They tried to engage in conversation with Malleus, talks of new friendship and adventure, or possibly, they all take a break from school to travel together.
They could go on a fun trip, Lilia had said, that way, they would all share the memories.
Wherever, whatever he wanted to do, so long as they were together, Silver had agreed, they could take turns, so that no ones desires went ignored, and no one be alone.
Make it last, Sebek declared, so that they could experience the longing to do it again.
Yet…
Malleus lifted his hand, touching the stumps on his head. He didn't feel his face move at the sensitiveness he felt, as though he were touching an exposed nerve. Raw magic, weak, attempting to regenerate.
He could feel something wet touch his fingertips as he pressed on it. He still didn't let himself hiss, despite his head pounding in protest.
He pulled back however, if only to stare at the traces of blood. His blood.
Silver was already crying, but the moment that those horns had broken off, Silver's wail was drowned out by the ear piercing cries of the dragon. As though their pain mirrored.
All he had wanted… was to prevent pain.
Prevent the pain of separation.
Prevent the pain of loss.
So much pain, he wanted to prevent everyone from feeling, if only to stop Silver's pain. To stop the pain that Lilia had felt leading up to his announcement.
But, was it truthfully an excuse to say that he wanted to be a good king, when really, it was all for Malleus to feel better? To stop and numb his pain, so that no one could get hurt.
Who was he fooling? He fooled everyone for the duration that they were in there. But Silver and Sebek, his dear human friend, had found that he was the one who was hurting. That he was lonely.
When one was on a pedestal, what do they see? Do they see their accomplishments, and applaud what they had done to get there?
When one had always been on a pedestal, what do they see? They look down and see everyone looking up. In awe, in shock.
Too much to even try to meet in the middle of the pedestal.
They shy away from its greatness, because how could the one sitting understand them? They were beyond the normal. They were great. They did not need any such challenge to their greatness.
As a result, Malleus had accepted the pedestal. His high place. He took advantage of it. He could elevate the others to their own pedestals, to stand high and enjoy their peace and happiness.
Malleus never understood how they could resist it so. Weren't they happy?
Wasn't Rosehearts happy to be freed from the shackles of suffering parental expectations, and run, wild and free, without consequence with the friends he cherished?
Wasn't Kingscholar happy to be regarded by his people, not as something to fear, but with the hopes that he could lead them to a future that they deserved?
Wasn't Ashengrotto happy to experience a life where he was never bullied, to eat and trust freely, without a care or desire for anything?
Wasn't Asim happy to have his Viper with him always, where they could be together forever and not worry about the chains that society placed on them?
Wasn't Schoenheit happy to achieve his career growth to the point that he was recognized as the fairest among his competitors, to be the forever star in the limelight?
… Shroud had told him, forced upon happiness was something that they would never accept. That they detested hoisted upon kindness. The goodwill of others for such a large gesture, was something they would never dream to allow.
In his rage, he decided, if they would not accept his blessings in life, then they would accept his blessing as they bled and gave their lives to the dreams that guided them to the stars.
Malleus curled his hand around Lilia's, and stared at his sleeping face. Although with the sudden distruction of his horns had been a strong reaction, Lilia had clenched and unclenched his hands, looking breathless.
He wondered why Lilia had looked so startled, before screaming Malleus' name across the way.
Malleus breathed out softly, remembering the waves of emotions. In an odd, painful way, Malleus cherished these emotions. He wanted to forever feel the embrace of the tidal wave he felt in his heart, in his soul, and the burning in his eyes.
He still felt the agony. The tumultuous pull of emotions was enough to make him become swept away, but three people held him firmly, so he wouldn't become consumed by them.
For that, the dragon prince is truly gratful for. To feel things he never felt before, without the consequence of harming others.
His gifts.
His curses, more like, had no more affect on him.
He could cry, he could shout, he could laugh. Malleus could feel whatever he wanted, without a consequence in the world now.
Realistically, this choice, this path that they ended up on, despite the hardship was the best optimal outcome.
So why, as he lay here, feeling numb and recounting his hardships, does he feel like he shouldn't be here?
He wasn't a fool, he knew the looks that Kingscholar and Schoenheit gave his way, after Sebek had pleaded and Shroud acquiesced.
For their overblots, they had no time to process.
For their overblots, despite the raw emotion they felt, they put themselves back together and come back.
Why was he given a break, despite the constant setbacks he put them all through, all the fear and heartaches?
Did he crave punishment? To be held accountable?
Unfortunately, what was left to do to him?
With his horn broken, he could scarcely use any magic now. Even now, as he laid, he felt what power he always felt before, leave him. He wasn't his strongest anymore. Doubtless, this would be a topic of conversation.
And even if this wound wasn't permanent, his fae biology likely would spend decades to recover.
The unbeatable, undefeated Malleus Draconia, laid with weak magic and partially disfigured for his crimes against almost breaching that step of becoming the worlds enemy.
No matter Malleus' intent, or his honest wishes, covering the world in his domain, trapping everyone away from the sun, would've only made things worse. By then, countless kingdoms and governments would've called for his arrest, in the best case. In the worst case…
In the worst case, perhaps, he would've been called to be executed.
Malleus rubbed Lilia's knuckle gently, turning to look at them all, his beloved people of his heart, his retainers and mentor.
His family.
Come to think of it, Lilia had… left home for a self-imposed exile. He truthfully only came back with thanks to Baur from his letter. He would reward Baur for his actions, but alas, what could he gift?
Perhaps that should be what he asks of grandmother to do.
Ah, but, Shroud was expecting him to come for an observation.
…
Perhaps it be best, if Malleus went to give his apologies in person to the Shroud family, for doing what he did to their children. It was only kind.
He couldn't afford to be selfish. Not right now, to the people that he had hurt.
Carefully, gently, as though holding glass, Malleus pulled his hand away from Lilia's, the older fae sleepily grumbling and snoring in his sleep.
His lips quirked, as he slowly rose from the bed, his bare feet unaffected by the chill infirmary floor. Malleus walked around the bed, watching those three rest peacefully.
If Malleus had the strength, he would move them to beds. If Malleus had the power, he would lift them and expand the bed so that they could rest comfortably together.
But Malleus had neither.
What he could do, was grasp the blanket of another infirmary bed, and cover all of them, his finger tips reaching out, brushing gently across their hair, their cheeks, memorizing their faces.
Sebek, his youngest retainer, had grown from his shell, to accept humans and himself. He would grow up to become a fine young man, perhaps with children of his own.
Silver, his first person that he ever envied, the first human he truly began to bond with. He would be a fillial young man, and always treat those around with kindness and affection.
Lilia… his…
Malleus faltered, but reserved himself.
Silver was Lilia's one and only son. That was fact.
And that was fine.
May Lilia's magic return to him, may he be emboldened to live longer than before. May he stay at the school and see to his graduation, and then to see to his sons graduation, and to his disciples.
He walked towards the infirmary door, pausing to turn around to look at their sleeping forms. He gave a small smile, and recited the words he remembers, ever so faintly, "Nights blessings be with you."
Softly shutting the infirmary door behind him, Malleus set off, eyes tracing the architecture around him.
Night Raven College was truly beautiful. He had covered all this beauty with briar's and shadows. The Headmage was right to be proud of his academic domain, it was a sight to behold.
His feet carried him from the hallways, to the main buildings entrance all the way down the stairs. He knew where he was headed. He wondered if the vague whispers outside of the infirmary were true.
If she was here, then he would come to her.
They met, on Main Street, in front of the Thorn Fairy's statue. He saw her, dressed in black and silver, a staff in hand. She was solemn, yet strong, her beautiful face only carrying such small amount of wrinkles.
Maleficia Draconia, his grandmother, stood regally, her eyes shifting to him when she heard his footsteps. Her gaze moved from him, to just over his head, staring at the glaring obvious of his lack of horns, and for a moment she grimaced before smoothing her face out.
"You should be resting," was the greeting he received to his arrival.
"I cannot sleep," he responded, stopping in front of her, and looking at the statue of the Thorn Fairy.
"Your wounds… they will heal, in time. Your horns, however, will need time to recover."
"Hmm. And now many decades shall pass until both are healed? Past the time of the child of men I know, I trust."
"Far past theirs. Past the Zigvolt boys hybrid time."
Malleus nodded, "Even if it was possible for you to heal me, or rely on the other stronger mages of this world to heal them, I would decline. I feel as though the strength and burdens of my life are gone."
Maleficia was silent at that, her staff softly tapping the ground, "… Your blessings from the Senate were not meant to be burdens," she stated, "They were meant to aid you. So they could not loose you, so that I would not loose you like we did your mother."
"And for those kind efforts," he added, "I am to be stuck feeling as though I can never feel at all, and hurt those I love. To know excitement or pain causes the very fabric of reality to react, where so I must be kept on surveillance."
"You may love me, grandmother. But the Senate does not."
Silence rang between them, only the gentle breeze of the wind their company. The sounds of bugs in the night.
"… Do you resent me, my grandson?" her voice was weak, and that was the cause to make him look at her. She was facing him, looking at him past her veil with a sorrowful expression, "Do you resent me, my dear Malleus? I've… come to know your ire."
Did Lilia say something? Or perhaps, that child of man who had experienced so much that they feared no powerful being?
"I do not resent you, Grandmother. I can only wish that you liked me enough to try for me."
"I do not like you, Malleus, I love you-" she argued, before he interrupted, "Yes, but you have missed my birthday celebration for your work, forcing me eat cakes by myself. Despite your knowledge of my gifts, and how intertwined they were with my being, you still chose the Kingdom over me."
He took a breath, "So. I wished you liked me enough. But I do not resent you. I know you never expected to continue ruling, handling the effects of the war, while also raising me. That is too cruel of me to do so, with all to be considered."
They held another silence, before Malleus spoke again, "Grandmother. I have some requests to ask of you."
"Name them."
"My first request," he said, "is for Silver and Sebek to be properly knighted. I fear that their contributions will be forgotten. I do not want that. They have worked tirelessly and for the good of the people. They deserve this honor."
His grandmother agreed.
"My second request, I want you to formally recognize Silver and Lilia as family. Silver is a Vanrouge in all but name, purely because of a four century action. They are family. They are father and child, and they deserve this recognition."
His grandmother agreed.
"Any other requests?" she asked him, and Malleus nodded.
"My third request… I wish for you to take me to the Shrouds vessel."
Grandmother paused at that, "Their… vessel? You were to be escorted tomorrow with Lilia."
Malleus shook his head, "I know. But I decline waiting. Take me now. And then afterwards… I shall leave."
"Leave? Leave the island?"
"Yes."
"Where will you go? To the Valley? I will pay whatever the Headmage requests for the damages done if that is your worry."
Malleus shook his head, "No. I'm well aware the Headmage would accept your payment. But, I do not wish to go to the Valley."
Her brows furrows, "Then, where will you go? Malleus, be sensible."
"I think… I would like to take a trip," he said, humming to himself, "Perhaps to the land that Lilia was previously going to take himself to. I have heard stories. It should be fascinating."
"… Just… you?" her words came out slowly, "That is- Malleus, you are recovering from an Overblot and your magic has dwindled. You cannot defend yourself if need be. How will you do anything? How would you even get there? And don't think to ask me for transport favors."
Malleus shook his head, "I wouldn't dare. While my magic is gone, yes, I can access my true form. Perhaps it shall recover while the Shrouds make their assessments of me, and I shall ask, but my true form doesn't require powerful magic to transform."
She faltered at his statement, Maleficia knowing indeed, that was true. Transforming between their bipedal and true forms was almost as seamless as merfolk transforming into humans.
"What of… Lilia, and your guards. Shall I inform them?"
"… Do what you will with the information, grandmother. I will not stop you from telling them, but I also will not ask you to do so."
"Do not tell me you intend on breaking more hearts, Malleus, I will not accept that. Not after everything they did for you," Maleficia sharply scolded.
Malleus shook his head, "I have clung tightly to them. I shall forever cherish them. But they have committed no crime. I am the one who has. I wish to understand them more. I wish to travel, beyond the confines of my home. If I am to go alone then I shall. If they follow me fervently, then they shall."
"But I will not be the one to make them. I have already asked too many impossibles." He finished.
Maleficia regarded him, sighing out of her nose, "… I plan to tell them. You should expect the company of people who love, cherish, and like you upon your travels."
Malleus nodded, "Understood, Grandmother. But, I ask you heed my favors first."
The older fae huffed, her staff hitting the ground, "Do not remind me, boy, I have every memory of you and of your mother. I can remember two mere favors. Now come. We have the Shrouds to greet."
Rather instead of teleporting both of them to the large ship at the cliff side, Maleficia walked closely with her grandson a peaceful silence neither speaking.
As Malleus approached the ship, he wondered if Lilia would scold him for taking off. Silver would panic, and Sebek would be accusatory. Perhaps it was good of his grandmother to inform them, rather than let them turn the school upside down, searching for him.
Malleus smiled at the thought.
He hoped they would be ready in time for departure. Or else he would be the first one to be at their destination.
He could not wait for this trip.