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“11:24” read the top-left corner of his phone. Roy, noticing the time, thought for a second about going to bed for the night, but he continued scrolling through social media.
It had been a long day for Roy. Spring break had just started, so there was an influx of high schoolers coming into the pizzeria. Don’t get him wrong, they—for the most part—were fairly considerate, but they were also incredibly numerous.
Furthermore, his boyfriend, Moe, was on a plane to his mother’s hometown in Singapore for a family gathering. Roy never thought of himself as a dependent person, but he had been feeling a desaturated blue the whole day, and now that it was the time of night when he and Moe would chat for hours over the phone, it felt very bleak to be unable to do any of that.
It seems stupid for him to think this. After all, Moe only left town last night, and he’d be back in three days anyway. If Roy were to think about this rationally, he’d likely realize that this was more of a Champagne problem than a French provincial election. Still, Roy drowsily and depressedly swiped at his smartphone, trying desperately to fill the deepening cavity in his heart.
As he scrolled deeper into the endless void of short-form content, he found a months-old post from Moe. He has no idea how it ended up on his timeline, but it didn’t matter either way. It was a slideshow of images that the couple had taken inside a mall photo booth. They were having the time of their lives—kissing and embracing and enjoying each other’s each-other-ness. The two had only just become a couple at that point, and you can tell just how much they were living in the moment.
And God, was Roy still trying to live in that moment. Seeing Moe’s syrupy brown eyes, his hair that looked like a raven’s feathers swooshed to the side, his wide smile which presented his slightly crowded teeth in their full glory; it all made Roy’s emotions swell like they were stung by a whole hornet nest. Slowly, tears began to well on Roy’s eyes. He felt the lukewarm fluid begin to rush down his right cheek. He rubbed his eyes with the side of his pointer finger, but the tears came back just as quickly as they were wiped away.
Once he began to sniffle, he put his phone on the nightstand, not even bothering to plug it into its charger. He turned onto his side, covered his face with his hands, and let his eyes drip tears onto his whole face. Watching himself be reduced to this wet sack of devastation truly made Roy realize just how much he needed Moe.
Moe loved his job, to the point where he was reluctant to even hire anyone to help him; he enjoyed talking to others about what he loved so much that he wouldn’t share it with anybody if he didn’t have to. Having someone so jubilant stop by his workplace everyday and chat was like carrying a bright lantern in an otherwise dim room, and now that his lantern was thousands of miles away, Roy could barely see.
At this point, Roy wanted nothing more than to sleep. Maybe he’ll feel better tomorrow. Maybe he’ll be enough of a depressed lump that his uncle would get concerned and make him take the day off; but it wouldn’t be the same if Roy couldn’t be with the love of his life, and Roy knew that better than his own name.
The peak of his sobbing had passed, and now his eyes were only letting out the occasional droplet. He was on the verge of passing out for the night, when out of the blue, his phone began to vibrate. He barely even sensed the noise, but his eyes still managed to open, and his arms still managed to grab the phone.
To his shock, the call was from Moe. Roy’s eyes lit up upon perceiving the name. He pressed the green dot on his phone’s screen, and held it up to his ear. “Hi, babe,” he said, attempting to hide how weary he had been.
“Heyy!” exclaimed Moe, “I just landed in Singapore. How have you been?”
“Not great, but I’ve been getting through it,” Roy sighed, “How was the flight?”
“It was alright. I was mostly just reading whatever comics I had packed with me on the plane. I wish you could’ve come, though,” Moe recounted.
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about you all day,” said Roy, “You’re always so bright and–”
“Wait, one sec,” Moe turned his camera on, before saying something in Mandarin to what seemed to be his mother and handing her his phone. It looked like Moe was standing on a bridge in a glass dome with a miniature rainforest and waterfall inside of it. Moe began to walk to the edge of the bridge, before striking a pose and smiling.
Looking at his boyfriend again, Roy couldn’t help but smile with him. Now, he truly began to notice how beautiful he was. His face speckled with tan dots, his eyes crinkling as he grinned into the camera; his arms looked slightly too long for his torso, but at the same time, they looked just right. Roy’s face began to warm up. He permitted a warm, comforted smile to paint his face. This beautiful man he was looking at was somehow his, and even if this moment wasn’t perfect, he’s still going to savour it like it was his last day on Earth.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help but take a picture,” apologized Moe, “I mean, how did they even get that in an airport?”
“I love you too, Moe,” Roy said, amorously, before processing the words Moe had stated, “Wait, you’re still in the airport!?”
“Yeah,” Moe chatted, “I was shocked too when I saw it. I kinda don’t want to leave here. It’s so… serene? Is that the right word? Wait, what time is it for you?”
“Oh!” Roy looked at the corner of his phone screen, which now read 11:41, “Geez… almost midnight,” Roy began to notice again just how late it had gotten.
“O-oh my God, did I wake you up?” spluttered Moe, “I’m so sorry if I–”
“No, no,” Roy reassured, “I mean, I was trying to sleep but, like, I kinda need this right now? It’s been a long day and I’ve been missing you and I just didn’t know if I could make it through the week and I–”
Roy, all of a sudden, went silent. He noticed that concern had covered his boyfriend’s face. “Do you have something you wanna talk about?” Moe queried.
“No, I’m… fine, I’ve just had a bit of a long day,” said Roy.
“Roy,” Moe prodded with a warm chuckle in his voice, “All I want is for you to be as happy as you can be, and if you’re feeling down, maybe you’ll feel better in the end if you talk to me about it.”
“Okay, look, this is going to sound really stupid, but it’s been really hard for me to, like, do anything since you’ve left. I don’t know, you’re always so happy a-and I–” Roy sniffled, “I… just miss you so much.” Roy began to sob again, while trying and failing to hide the despair in his voice.
“Hey, hey,” Moe softly soothed, “You’re going to be okay. I’ll be back in three days and we can always call each other if we want to talk…”
Moe paused. “Y’know,” Moe confessed, “I miss you too, babe. I mean, I was listening to one of my playlists on the plane and I heard one of your favourite songs and I had to skip it about halfway through because, like, what if you’re not okay while I’m gone? What if you die? I know I wasn’t thinking rationally but, like, I love you so much, and I can’t even go a day without you.”
“I *sniffle* love you too… Moe…” Roy quietly wailed out, hugging his phone as if he were there in bed with him. And you know what? It was just as therapeutic as if Moe were really there. Roy bawled uncontrollably, but it wasn’t from sadness; it was from the fact that Moe loved him just as much as he loved Moe. Really, it seems like something he should have already known, but Roy and Moe being able to love each other in real time made that just obvious enough for Roy to fully internalize that fact.
After crying in the imaginary arms of his boyfriend, he kissed his phone. “Goodnight babe,” he cooed into the phone. “Goodnight, Roy…” Moe replied with his ever so calming voice, before hanging up the call. Roy let out a sigh deeper than the Mariana Trench, before laying his phone on his nightstand, plugging it in, and turning on his side to go to sleep. And when he drifted away to dreamland, he had a gentle, yet prominent smile on his face.