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College parties are not as great as my brother made them out to be, is probably my first thought in the jumbled mess that is my mind. The flashing lights are giving me a headache, there are way too many people jammed into one small room despite the whole floor being for the party, several drunk girls have fallen over their own stupid height enhancing shoes and split their fruity drinks onto my shirt and I now smell like a sweaty cocktail bar and my brother has spent the last half an hour making out with a girl who's nipples I can actually see through her low-cut top. Maybe I'm judging Calum too soon and she has a lovely personality, but I don't think he's groping handfuls of her arse with thoughts of her nice manners in his mind.
I look away from the scene with a grimace, raising the beer to my lips before putting it on the nearest flat surface. I've been holding it so long that the heat from my hand has made the liquid warm. I push my back flat against the wall when a girl wearing sparkly high heels laughs as she walks past me, putting her hand on my shoulder to balance herself when she stumbles. I grab her arm quickly, steadying her and then she's off walking again, throwing her head back and giving me a huge smile, mouthing 'thank you' before she's lost in the sea of bodies.
That's when Calum walks over to me, nipple girl dangling on his arm. "You not having fun?!" He shouts into my ear. I wince, but shrug when he awaits my reply. The girl giggles, whispers something to him and then begins kissing his neck. I look away from her, wishing I couldn't see what she was doing to someone who came from the same womb I did in the corner of my eye. "I'm going back with... Shir...Stace?" The girl giggles, whispers something. "Stella! I'm going back with Stella, to like, her dorm!" My mouth drops slightly. Calum was supposed to be keeping an eye on me, or whatever, he was supposed to help me get a cab home and make sure nobody gave me too much to drink. Now he plans to abandon me. Great. He reaches into his skinny jeans, pulling out a card and placing it into my hand, making my fingers curl around it. "Floor six, room 14A, that's my room. My roommate should be out tonight. Your choice if you don't want to go home!"
I sigh, gripping the key card and nodding. Calum pats my cheek verging on condescending, leans in again to shout, "Be safe." Then he's off, pulling the girl into him and stumbling out of the room. I go to the door too, watch them walk to the elevator in a hot mess of kissing, stumbling and giggling and pray that Calum knows what he's doing. Another girl stumbles into me, spilling beer onto my semi-fresh jeans and I decide to ignore her stream of apologies and attempts to pat me dry and leave the room too, walking past the rest of the loud rooms and to the elevator. I press the UP button and wait. I could go home, I could easily, but it would cost me around 20 dollars and I'd simply rather guilt trip Calum into driving me back tomorrow when he realizes he'd left me alone and not given me the 'ultimate college party experience' like he promised.
The elevator arrives empty, so I step in and press the number 6 before leaning his back against the wall. Calum had gone off to college three years ago, now being age 21 whereas I am still a baby-faced 17. He hadn't let me attend his college until my seventeenth birthday, where he introduced me to a colorful haired pot-smoking guitarist named Michael who had been Calum's best friend ever since they arrived. Calum had a roommate too, one that he hated because he is apparently 'prissy' and 'annoying'. I didn't ask about him and Calum didn't bring him up again. Other than Michael, I don't really know much about Calum's college life because when Calum moved into his dorm we grew apart. Don't get me wrong, he's still the typical overprotective, big-ego'd big brother I've always known him as, now we just speak less.
When I get to Calum's floor its quiet and empty, a dramatic contrast to the floor I just came from and it actually smells good. The amount of alcohol that's been split on my body is probably polluting it. It's ironic, because I only drank about three sips of beer before letting it warm in my hand. The outside of room 14A looks the same as every other room, with the exception of Calum Hemmings on the whiteboard. In a small space at the bottom of the board, a neat scrawl of Ashton Irwin is written. Calum's roommate presumably.
Remembering to scan the key card, the light turn from red to green and then opens the door and okay. Okay. Maybe I've got the wrong room, but then why would the card work? I stay frozen in the open doorway, staring back at the boy who's lack of clothing could make me cry. There's a iPad somehow stuck onto his headboard, the female fronted punk back, Paramore, quietly pouring out of the speakers in one of their slower songs and a pile of open books scattered around his bed as if he'd been there for hours. I blame Calum as my eyes run down his exposed body. He's face down, small black boxers framing his bum and again, I could cry. Other than the boxers, the only things that could be remotely considered clothing are his typical nerdy glasses and the blue bandanna tied that's keeping his curly hair out of his face.
"You are not Calum." He says and my eyes flick up to his face. Oh god. His face.
"You aren't wearing pants." I can't take it back once its out of my mouth. My eyes flick down to make sure my statement is still true, and sure enough, there they are, exposed thighs so great I could probably choke myself with them. I feel my eyes widen at my own thoughts and my neck almost cripples as I look back up to the boys face at a furious speed.
He's eyeing me curiously when he says, "Who are you and why are you in my room?"
My room. This is Calum's roommate? He's certainly not out like Calum said he would be, all of him in fact, looks very much here, almost naked and lying on a bed right in front of me. I blink a couple of times and take a few steps into the room, softly closing the door behind myself and keeping my hands pressed against it, taking silent deep breaths.
Do not jump Calum's roommate. You've recently discovered your own sexuality. That does not mean you have to attack every remotely good-looking boy you see. You can do this.
I turn around and the boy has sat up, the front of his body now exposed to me too. I feel liquid fill my mouth and gulp, the sound being covered by Hayley Williams' voice still pouring into the room. My clothes suddenly feel suffocating and I look over to Calum's wardrobe, the boy still watching my every move.
"I'm uh- Calum- Calum told me I could like...Sorry- I didn't know you'd be-" My hands gesture to his half naked body and my eyes follow again before I blink to snap myself out of it. When I look at his eyes again, he's smiling. "Clothes." I blurt out immediately, and turn, tripping over the corner of Calum's bed and stumbling a few steps, a high pitch squeal falling from my mouth. I feel eyes burning into my back and rush to Calum's wardrobe, opening the door, stepping into the tight space and closing it behind me. "What is wrong with you?" I whisper to myself. In the dark space I randomly unhook one of Calum's t-shirts from a hanger and find a pair of sweatpants underneath them. I undress and redress as quickly as possible in the small claustrophobic space before taking some more deep breaths. "Stop embarrassing yourself." I mutter to myself in some sort of pep talk. "Next time Calum tells you to go to his dorm, you go home. Home is safe. Home is good. Home does not have half naked people lay out in front of you."
Realization dawns on me when I've done enough heavy breathing and said a few more embarrassing things to myself. I am inside a wardrobe. A closet. I am going to come out of the closet. Again. Oh god.
When I do finally get the courage to open the door, the boy, Ashton Irwin presumably, is highlighting something in one of the books around him. Greenday play now and I wonder how long I was in there. He looks up as I step out and scans my body. I look too; a large t-shirt I don't recognize greeting me and loose grey sweatpants hanging from my legs. Calum and I are the same size, I quickly realize.
"These... I'm wearing your clothes right now, aren't I?" I ask, knowing I'd regret it. He must see the look on my face when his own face softens.
"Yeah. It's alright though. I don't mind." His voice is soft too.
"At least one of us is wearing your clothes." I whisper to myself when Ashton's back to highlighting. His lips quirk up but he says nothing. I hesitantly walk over to the other bed, a half naked poster of a Victoria Secret model hanging over Calum's pillow. I scan it. "Classy." I mutter in disbelief. This wasn't here the last time I came to Calum's dorm. When I pulled it down from the wall, it tore. No regrets. I scrunched it up and shoved it under his bed, kicking it to put it back further.
"He'll kill you for that, you know." He spoke out behind me. "I did it once and he forced me to buy him a new one. I don't even like the kid." I ignore that.
"Do you have a printer?" I ask, turning to look at him. Ashton (that has to be his name, doesn't it?) points to Calum's desk, a laptop and printer both set up. "I'll make him a new one."
Half an hour later, I've printed an A4 picture of myself and Calum from facebook, both of us grinning at the camera our mom had in her hands, me looking just slightly smaller than him from before my growth spurt. We were both in suits for our aunties wedding, custom made so they fit perfectly, and Calum had his arm wrapped around my shoulder. With a sharpie, I wrote, bro's before models across the bottom. As an afterthought, I added, P.S. Never leave me alone in your dorm again.
I used the tack still stuck to the wall from the poster to stick it up.
"Hey, you wanna watch a movie or something?" Ashton asks, scrolling on his iPad. "I'm Ashton, by the way... That's probably the first thing I should've said."
"Luke." I say simply. Ashton scoots over on his bed and I briefly think: oh my god, that bed is tiny and my side is going to be pressed against his naked torso. I brush the thought away and walk over, mirroring Ashton by laying down on my stomach but on the end of the bed so we don't touch. The movie is an old one that was made based off one of Stephen's Kings best selling novels; It. The film isn't that scary at first, but I'm an easily scared person, so when freaky shit starts happening, I find myself in a predicament.
"You scared?" Ashton asks softly, turning to pause the movie. The room had gotten dark since all the lights were off, the window no longer spilling in any light at all because of the late hour. I grab Ashton's hand before he can pause it, because the movie is good, it just includes clowns.
"It's fine." Besides, I don't want to look like a child next to possibly the hottest boy ever. Another couple of scares later, Ashton sighs and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him and placing his leg over both of my thighs. "Thank you." I whisper quietly, knowing he's doing this because obviously I'm not very good at hiding my emotions. This close, Ashton smells like vanilla, sweaty vanilla but still a hint of vanilla. I briefly wonder how he can be sweaty when he's barely wearing anything. The vanilla is more prominent when another jump scare frightens me, and I turn my face into his neck, tucking my head under his completely and blinking at the vanilla smell. After a few seconds, I realize the smell comes from his hair when a piece falls right under my nose. "Your hair smells good." I embarrassingly mutter without thinking.
I must blackout or something equally stupid, because the next thing I know, we're kissing.
His lips are rough and plump and the stubble on his jaw burns my face but it feels good. This, this is why I'm gay, I tell myself. Girls don't have stubble, and most of them don't have thigh muscles that are literally pinning me to the bed. Ashton ends up hovered over me, holding himself up with his arms but letting his bottom half drop against mine.
"You can't just come in here all tall and blond and unannounced and then wear my fucking clothes," Ashton murmurs as he moves to kiss my neck, and oh fuck, his stubble feels even better there. "Without there being a 90% possibility that I'm going to want to fucking destroy you."
Then its a moving blurry memory of Ashton's knee spreading his thighs apart, clothes being thrown onto the floor and messy kisses being shared.
Luke remembers though, remembers Ashton's long fingers stretching him open, Ashton telling him how well he's taking it and that he's being a good boy and of course, Luke blames Ashton's smooth talk when a simple, "Daddy." falls from between his lips, Luke squeezing his eyes closed as Ashton pauses.
"Fuck, look at you." Ashton then breathes. "All willing for Daddy. Want me to fuck you, baby? Want my cock in you?" and shit, Luke can't think of anything more appealing at that moment in time.
He remembers Ashton taking it as slow as ever when Luke admitted that it hurt, pushing into him at just the right angles and making their hips meet with every deep thrust. He hears his own calls of Daddy and Ashton echoing in his own mind, Ashton's replies of baby or gorgeous. Sweetheart, the name Luke was blessed with when they had both reached their peak and Ashton pulled out after a long twenty minutes of fucking and dirty talk. He remembers thinking Ashton would kick him out (it seemed like one night stand material, apart from the gentleness,) but then Ashton was using Luke's (or Ashton's depending on the way you look at it,) discarded T-Shirt to clean Luke up and putting their underwear back on before wrapping his arms around the blond and kissing him again, all hot and open mouthed before it faded out.
Luke does not remember falling asleep between whispering to Ashton about his own school life and having Ashton whispering sweet things back into his own ears. He remembers waking up though.
I wake up to furious yelling and a nails digging into my scalp, pulling my head up from the muscular arm its resting on. I scream out in agony, feelings my scalp screaming out by burning in agony as I'm pulled up by my short hair. When I open my eyes, I'm already out of the bed I'm on, arms dropping from my waist, and before I can comprehend what's happening I'm being thrown onto a soft surface, my body bouncing with the impact.
"What the fuck am I walking in on exactly?!" My eyes snap open, the light blinding me for a few seconds before Calum's face is next to mine and his angry brown eyes are boring into my own.
"Dude," a voice groans from across the room. I look over and everything comes flooding back. Party, room, shirtless, Ashton, daddy. I scramble away from Calum as fast as my body will let me, suddenly aware of the breeze on my bare body. The door is open, a boy with red hair standing in shock at the doorway. Michael. Michael, when he sees me looking, widens his eyes and steps into the small room, closing the door behind himself before we all start to cause a scene. I'm only wearing boxers. "Fuck off." Ashton mutters and I look over just in time to see Calum grab Ashton's curly hair and pull him up too, Ashton having much quicker reflexes and scrambling to get up himself. "What the fuck, Hemmings?!" I almost think he's addressing me for a second.
"I can't fucking believe you! I should kill you!" Calum yelled at Ashton. Ashton seems genuinely taken aback.
"Mate-"
"Don't fucking call me that!" Calum storms back over to me again, grabbing my arm and pulling me up from the bed. His nail catches my skin and I cry out slightly but he pulls me harder, pushing me towards the wardrobe. "Get dressed right now!"
"What the fuck, Calum, stop being a dick!" Ashton yells, and those, those were not the correct words. Even I realize that.
"I'm being a dick?" I watched Calum turn around, detaching himself from me. I pull open the wardrobe and throw on the first sweats I recognize as Calum's, leaving my upper body shirtless. "You- you're genuinely insulting me. You're lucky I'm not fucking killing you right now, do you know that?"
Ashton looks to me for help before holding his hands up in defense, still looking confused.
"I leave him alone for one night, one fucking night, and you jump him! I hope you got a good look because you are never going near him again-"
"Cal." I say quietly, my only chance at stopping his rant, but he ignores it. I quickly walk over to Michael instead.
"Dude, I don't like you anyway, but I'm sorry I fucked your boy-toy or-"
"Excuse me?!" Calum cuts him off. My jaw drops open, because I'm sure I told him. My mind rakes over the previous night. I didn't. Calum lunges forward, pressing into Ashton and immediately throwing fists. Michael stays frozen as I run to get in between them and pull them apart. I manage to pull Calum back, Ashton looking at him like he's mentally disabled and clutching his jaw.
I pull him from Ashton's bed as his face gets darker. He chooses it as the right time to drop the bomb, apparently.
"You fucked my baby brother?!" Calum's voice is half disbelief and half anger. Ashton's face drops as he cautiously stands up, holding his hands up.
"I-" Ashton's voice breaks and Calum takes that cue to scream again.
"I know we aren't friends, Ash, but fuck! My little brother?! He only turned seventeen a few weeks ago! What's wrong with you?!"
Michael jumps into action, pulling Calum out of the room and demanding I put a shirt on. Calum stays by the doorway, watching in. I scramble to the wardrobe, pick out the first shirt of Calum's I see and throw it over my body. I feel Ashton's eyes following my every move, seemingly in shocked silence. I pick up my phone from where I left it last night, and scramble out of the room, Calum gripping my arm and forcing me down the hallways.
When I'm in Calum's car, he demands I sit in the back and doesn't speak to me. When we're almost home, a text comes through on my phone. I read the contact name and my mouth drops open.
Ashton :) - I kind of stole your number last night
Ashton :) - and also put my own in your phone
Ashton :) - I am so fucking sorry, I thought you were a student, not a 17 year old x
I text back, I knew what I was getting myself into, should've warned you, I'm sorry.
Ashton :) - that would've been nice yeah.
Ashton :) - can't deny I had a good time though. Worth it.
I blush, open up the reply box and send, he's going to hate me for a while but you were worth it too, daddy ;)
Ashton :) - where are you right now?
I tell him I'm in the car and the reply comes immediately.
Ashton :) - phone me as soon as you're home, baby.
It's the best of both worlds. Calum remains oblivious and Luke gets a hot boyfriend to sneak around with. Ashton's in his last year when Luke goes to the Uni, Calum being the same, and when they totally accidentally end up sharing a room together, Luke has no other choice but to tell Calum they've reconnected so to say. (Even though they'd been in contact ever since that first night.) Calum hates him for a while again, but he gets over it.