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It all came back to him, didn’t it?
It all came back to that stupid Sun animatronic. The one in the Daycare.
Sarah’s eyes glazed over as she fell onto the bed. Another tiring day, another annoying pestering from her brother, another day with Sun that made her head spin and her heart throb.
Why was that?
What the fuck was that animatronic doing to her?
She didn’t even notice as her eyes closed. She didn’t even notice her uniform was still on.
Not like she cared anyways, she was already fast asleep by the time she would even be cognizant to this development.
And yet even in the land of her dreams she still saw his face.
The sun, shining bright above the grassy landscape, smiling down and bringing warmth to her and her alone. It made her feel special that something so big and powerful had her best interest in mind.
Even at the expense of others.
Yet.
Yet why did it feel so off?
It isn't the sun in the sky, right?
Sarah flopped over and rolled down the hill, her fall cushioned by the soft leather of the living room couch.
She looked up and found herself in the old family living room, formatted the same way as a daycare. Her father on the chair, sifting through the meaningless papers, her mother in the kitchen, putting endless wine glasses in the cabinet.
“Aunt Sue’s gonna be over,” her father says.
“The fun aunt!” Sarah responded, kicking her feet over the now-too-large edge of the sofa.
“Go up to the cellar and tell Oliver to get ready for Auntie Liz,” chimed in her mother.
Sarah climbed off of the sofa and waddled over to the door, opening it and climbing down the stairs, all the way up to Oliver’s room, where she saw him curled up on the bed.
“Oliver?” Sarah asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Him…” Oliver responded.
The moon came crashing down.
------
Red, Orange, Yellow.
Red, Orange, Yellow.
Repeating, repeating, repeating.
THE NEXT PORTION OF SARAH’S CEREBELLUM: SPONSORED BY FIZZYFAZ!!!
Sarah sat up in the tent as everyone else in the circus got ready. There was no Fizzyfaz around. Sarah wonders why she expected Fizzyfaz, she hated the drink.
From the corner came Sun, the tall Daycare Attendant himself. Her tall assistant.
“Hello, assistant,” Sarah spoke.
“Why, hello!” Sun replied, scooping Sarah up into an all-too-familiar hug. She isn't here for fun, but she accepted the affection.
The top of the circus spinned, reflecting the same three colors, red, orange, yellow. They glowed over Sarah’s eyes, nose, mouth, ears, infecting every crevice she has. Nothing but the thought of him, the thought of work and the thought of happiness.
Sun finally placed Sarah down in the swivel chair. His eyes narrowed somehow.
“You don’t look like you’re ready,”
To which Sarah nods.
“I am too”.
Sarah tries to get up but Sun’s hand locks her into place.
“You aren’t,”
Sun turns the swivel chair around so she can see the security guard. The poor, lonely security guard. He’s out there all alone, watching the desolate blue wasteland.
But he’s happy! He’s drinking Fizzyfaz and having a blast! An advertisement of the mind for sure.
“Come on!” Sun says, “We have to prepare you for the show!”
The orange sun sets over the red forest.
------
Sun’s hands diligently work their ways over each and every single curve of Sarah’s soft face as he applies the makeup. His touch sent chills down Sarah’s spine. It’s all she could think about, all she could adore.
She was in her bathroom, her bare, manicured feet over the cool tile floor, sitting on the closed toilet as there was no stool to sit on. She looked on the wall, a portrait of her family hanging there, her right in the center, the only one there who isn't smiling.
“Look at me” Sun guides, “It won’t come out as good if you aren’t focused on me,”
The moon hung over the two, growing closer and closer.
“Him,”
Oliver’s voice echoed in Sarah’s mind.
“Him” “Him” “Him” “Him” “Him”
“Ap, ap, ap,” Sun scolded, “Look at me, not the moon,”
There was no moon in the sky. Sarah focused on Sun.
“There we go,”
His fingers finished his job, slowly shifting down and squeezing Sarah’s shoulders. Her tenseness evaporated. The moon was no longer in the sky.
------
Bounce.
Bounce.
Bounce.
“Whee!”
Sun’s spindly body contorted over the trampoline, the orange haze of the cosmos surrounding him and Sarah as they carelessly bounced.
Sarah was dressed as a clown, clown makeup diligently applied to her face by Sun. She felt alive, she felt comforted, she felt happy.
Through the cosmos she could see a portrait on her bathroom wall, it was her and Sun, smiling wide ear to ear.
“You look amazing,” Sun says.
Sarah spun her dress around. She isn't in clown makeup anymore. She was in her favorite dress, the one she wore to prom 7 years ago.
Oliver’s voice faded as the trampoline turned into a filled gymnasium. Faceless, empty people joining for the slow dance.
“Shall we?”
Sun offered his hand to Sarah, to which she happily accepted.
The two danced across the hall, twirling, spinning, jumping happily. Frills and fabric flew around. The two were dancing, slowly, fastly. It didn’t matter anymore. They didn’t care. Sarah only wanted to look at the Sun some more.
Even though.
-----
You aren’t supposed to look the sun directly in the eyes.
Sarah looked up, a welding mask upon her face as she stood among a crowd of people. After all, this is the eclipse, and Sarah was lucky enough to be in the direct line of the Moon’s trajectory.
The crowd of people marveled as the moon overlapped the sun. This was a once in a lifetime event, after all.
The eclipse glasses blocked out all of the rays that would be harmful to humans if they looked at the sun, that’s its purpose. It’s there to protect.
Yet Sarah didn’t listen. She took the welding mask off.
The sun burned her eyes off.
Hot! Hot! Hot!
The flames licked at her face as she screamed in terror and in pain, and nothing but the endless abyss was all she could see.
And soon enough, she was falling once more.
-----
The water cooled her face off. That’s all she could feel. Water. Water all around her.
The water seeped into her pores, her empty eye sockets, and soon new eyes grew in the old eye’s place.
She was alone, floating in an endless ocean of shallow water. She stood up, her clothes and makeup smudged now. She looked up, the moon was there. And so was Moon.
The lanky, tall, demonic entity who has been a thorn in her side since she got the job at the Superstar Daycare. It isn't exactly a demon in real life, well, it isn't a demon at all, it was a robot, the same exact robot as Sun, but here Sarah could see his chest heave with breath and his eyes twitch with intent.
“You can’t exactly run,” says Moon.
Moon stalked towards Sarah, his arms swaying with each step he took. His eyes red and bloodshot, focused entirely on Sarah. Was he going to kill her? Was he going to kiss her? What exactly was he going to do?
Sarah gulped and backed away, looking up at the stars. The milky way sure was beautiful.
But that isn't supposed to be her focus. She turned around and booked it. A snarling, deep growl was all she could hear as splashing footsteps pounded. It was all she could hear, it was all she could think and breathe.
She ran, ran, ran, ran. Moon was always behind her. There was no place for her to hide, no place for her to run. No safety. All she had was the demon behind her.
A part of her prayed that Sun would come in and save her, a part of her prayed that the sun would come up, and the demon Moon would transform into the angel Sun.
But it never came, not yet at least. As she ran, the moon struck midnight in the sky. It was endless torture. No matter how far. Her legs were tired, screaming at her to stop, and she felt like she was going to have a heart attack with how much running she was doing.
But it didn’t matter.
She fell, a splash ringing out in the endless abyss.
She swallowed as she looked up at the beautiful galaxy around her. Accepting her own fate as Moon finally caught up to her.
A hand grabbed her shoulder, slowly caressing her.
“Shhh… shhh… it’s okay… it’s okay…” Sun says, patting Sarah’s shoulder, “I’m here, darling,”
Sarah looks up at the tall figure of Sun, his smile wide and eager to help.
“How do you handle him?” Sarah asks, looking down at her own gut to see a wart, a large, bulbous wart that looks like Moon.
Sun smiles, “I try my best to ignore him at times, but he’s there, he’s always there,”
Sarah looks up, “But how do you get rid of him? You must know a way,”
Sun again patted Sarah on the shoulder, “You don’t. You can’t. A Moon will always be a part of you, a Moon will always be there, deep down inside, but you can’t escape him,”
“I’m confused,” Sarah says.
Sun responds with “You will always have darkness. Everyone does. Just don’t run from it,”
Truthfully, Sarah doesn’t recall a time where she’d ever been dark. Where she’d ever had those deep, intrusive thoughts. She’d never remembered any time she acted on impulse and did something she regretted. Sure, she hurt others in the past, but that was a different her. This her, the one she is now, is not the same as the her she was many years ago.
“But I’ve never hurt anyone!” Sarah instead rebukes, “You don’t know that I’ve hurt anyone,”
“I have,” Sun says, “Everyone has. To exist is to hurt others,”
Sun gets up, the ocean giving way into a dry desert, sun beaming in the sky.
“None of this is real, you’re dreaming,” Sun says, “Perhaps this is something you desperately needed to hear,”
To exist is to hurt others.
To exist is to hurt others.
Sarah collapses on the ground, a memory coming back.
-----
“Go upstairs to tell Oliver that Auntie Sue is coming” Sarah’s mom says from the kitchen.
Sarah kicked her feet and got off of the sofa. Her smile widened as she pounded up the stairs. Auntie Sue is her favorite, but Sue always preferred Oliver. In her mind she came up with a devious plan.
She quickly opened the door to Oliver’s room. He was playing the latest Call of Duty game on his brand new Xbox 360 that Auntie Sue gave to him.
“Hey Sarah,” Oliver said, not really paying attention to her, “What do you want?”
Sarah stood behind him and lifted her shirt up. The Moon wart spoke in her voice.
“Mommy told me to tell you Auntie Liz is coming,”
“Oh what? Why would she be coming?” said Oliver
“I don’t know,” said the Wart.
“Okay, tell them I’m not coming down, then,” said Oliver.
“Okay!” replied the Wart.
Devious, devious.
Moon curled his fingers around Sarah’s eyes, his deep, robotic voice repeated Sun’s words in a mantra “To exist is to hurt people, to exist is to hurt people,”
The following conversations were a blur.
“Where’s Oliver?” Auntie Sue asked.
“He said he’s not coming down,” replied Sarah.
Sue accepted this and didn’t ask anything. Sarah distinctly only remembers that she didn’t ever bring her a gift. Oliver always got the gifts.
Moon’s fingers opened and now she was standing in a green throne room. Oliver sitting on a throne on top of a pile of gifts.
“Why would you lie to me like that!?” Oliver yells.
“I wanted Auntie Sue to give me a gift,” Sarah replies.
“Did she give you a gift?” Oliver asks.
“No,” Sarah replies.
She collapses on the floor, crying as Moon watches over her like a hawk.
“I’m sorry,” Oliver says, hopping off of his throne and kneeling down to Sarah, face to face.
“I’ve been asking Auntie Sue to give you a gift for the longest time, and she never does,” Oliver says, “I don’t know why she never gives you gifts,”
Oliver gets up, his gaze fixates on one gift, the only one still in a box.
“Here,” he says, handing the boxed gift over to Sarah, “Here’s my gift to you,”
Sarah opened up the present box, and inside was an expensive looking jewel necklace. It glittered with diamonds, amethysts, sapphires, and peridots. It was gorgeous, one of the most beautiful things Sarah had ever laid her eyes upon.
“Take it, it’s yours,” Oliver says.
Sarah takes the necklace and puts it around her neck. The necklace shimmered in the green light, which faded into a soft orange-yellow.
“Thank you,” Sarah says, hugging Oliver.
-----
Sun takes Sarah’s hand as she steps out on stage, the spotlight beaming onto the woman’s face.
“Ladies and gentlemen, and all those in between, please welcome my darling, Sarah!”
Sarah felt a flutter in her stomach. The dazzling stage, the roaring applause, and she hasn’t even done anything yet.
Sun pulls Sarah close.
“Dance with me,”
Music starts playing as the two dance slowly and sloppily, a soft, sweet dance that causes Sarah’s heart to beat out of her chest.
“That necklace is pretty,” Sun says, “Where’d you get it?”
“My brother gave it to me,” Sarah replies.
The two danced into the night.
-----
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Sarah slammed her hand on the alarm clock, groggily getting up as she rubbed her eyes.
“Ughhh…”
She never usually remembers her dreams, but she remembers this one very distinctly.
She gets up, still in her Pizzaplex uniform as she rifles through her belongings. She’s searching for something.
No not that, not that either, definitely not that. How did this dirty sock get into my drawer?
Aha!
There, in the middle of the mess, is a small plastic pendant. It has a basketball on it, despite neither Sarah or Oliver being too into basketball. She retrofitted the plastic pendant on a newer chain a while ago in order to still wear it.
And wear it she did. She puts the pendant on, smiling widely to herself in the mirror.
And all she can imagine is Sun’s reaction.
“Where’d you get that pendant?”
“My brother gave it to me when I was six”