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Do you ever think that God is unfair?
There were people out there devoting their whole lives for the better, only to die at the hands of some bastards. Some people lived almost their whole lives carelessly, repented in their later years, and somehow, God accepted those people. Are those lives only collateral damage to someone's journey to repentance?
The man stared at the sparks of light from the magic stone. Heavy footsteps and shouts echoed outside, but the inside of the tent was still oddly peaceful. There was neither movement nor sound. The only living being there was sitting on his seat like a statue. In front of him was a tactical board game. His emotionless obsidian eyes scanned the board when someone lifted the tent's opening.
"Everyone has gathered at the frontline."
Yuder's eyes stopped at one of the white pawns for long. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.
"I understand."
Yuder stood up from his seat and started preparing his weapons. He ignored the other man who was still standing at the entrance. Yuder was slipping his dagger into a scabbard when the other man finally did something.
He advanced toward Yuder in a slow and steady manner. Yuder was enveloped in his shadow with every step he took. The man stopped when he was close enough for his hand to approach the neck of his assistant, fixing the crooked collar. The tips of his fingers accidentally touched the skin on Yuder's neck. The raven-haired man quickly deflected the hand and turned sideways to fix the uniform himself.
"Yuder."
The younger man remained silent even when his name was called. He didn't give the other man even a glance. It was not polite for subordinates to treat their superiors like this, but neither of them cared.
"Do you remember your promise?" The man asked softly as if he was afraid he would break the delicate balance between them.
There was a few seconds of silence. Yuder felt like he could hear the other man's heartbeat. He took a step back before replying.
"I remember."
The other man gave a relieved smile. Yuder didn't have to see him to feel his emotion. He remembered it like a script that he had read over and over again. The man softened his gaze.
"Good."
Back in his village in Airic Mountain, there used to be a saying that parents told their children. Nobody knew the origin of such a saying, but parents used it for generations to warn their naughty children.
"Be good, so you'll become human again in your next life."
Yuder was never the type to believe such things. He would always do anything he wanted, even if his grandfather scolded him as a dirty dog. However, Yuder had sometimes wondered what he had done in his previous life.
No one did something with the thought of failure in mind, especially not Yuder. When he got a second chance, he tried to do everything to avoid repeating the same mistakes. He played the right hand and followed the right steps, yet he still lost.
It took a while for him to accept his second failure. When he woke up at that shabby lodging, a part of him was unwilling. There was an anger in him that made him want to retaliate at that time. An anger that only diminished for a while at the memory of that man. Even then, that small fire couldn't hold its flame as he continued to wake up in that room.
Cling.
"Do you have any more questions, Yuder?" The man asked as he put down his cup. His ruby eyes glanced at the untouched tea on the table.
"Do you have spare time, Commander?" Yuder asked while looking at the person in front of him. His black eyes took a glance at the adjutant standing behind that man.
"Oh?"
Kishiar gave a curious smile, waiting for Yuder to continue.
"I heard you play Imuran Yute Mesis."
Yuder could feel a tense silence as soon as those words perfectly rolled off his tongue. There was a small aura waiting to burst if he ever made a wrong move. The man was taken aback for a second before probing for answers.
"Do you know how to play?"
"I learned it briefly in my childhood."
Kishiar contemplated for a moment before he finally made his decision.
"Very well. Let's play one round."
Kishiar signaled Nathan to bring the tactical board from the drawer. The adjutant was hesitant but followed his lord's order anyway. A few seconds later, he returned with a board exactly like the one in Yuder's memory.
"Do you need Nathan to leave?" Kishiar asked while setting up the board.
"Your Highness—"
"It's fine. I know Sir Zuckerman is your trusted aide," Yuder immediately interrupted.
They fell into silence once again. Yuder ignored the suspicious gaze from Nathan. When Kishiar finally finished putting the last pawn in its place, Yuder picked up a black piece and made his move.
Yuder had never enjoyed playing this game. He learned it from that man when he was named successor. Since then, he has played countless games using this board. He knew every trick and diversion; he just needed to know when to use them. In just a few moves, Yuder took the first white pawn.
"Not bad."
They went back and forth until Yuder finally took the last piece of the game. There were no more moves Kishiar could take. Kishiar leaned back in his seat. His eyes were a bit complicated as he assessed the result of the match.
"Can we play one more game?"
Yuder laid his eyes on the messy board.
"Sure."
The tea had become cold by now. They played another game and another. Each of the three results was the same. The answer was before his eyes, but it was still hard to believe for Kishiar.
"Yuder..."
Yuder didn't avoid Kishiar's eyes. He needed to know soon, and they needed to plan sooner. This was Yuder's plan for this life.
Kishiar asked a few questions after that. Yuder answered as concisely as he possibly could and with enough information not to overwhelm his talking partner. Nathan was silent the whole time, but his eyes were a bit grim. By the time they almost finished, the moon was at its brightest.
"Yuder."
Yuder faced the man before him. He looked a bit fatigued. He must have a lot to process in his mind tonight.
"How many times..."
The man couldn't finish his question. He didn't need to; Yuder understood what he wanted to ask. He must have picked up something from Yuder's answer. Yuder stared into those ruby eyes before avoiding his gaze. When Yuder didn't give any answer, he could feel the suffocation and pulsing ache in his chest. At that moment, Yuder made sure they never had that conversation ever again.
Yuder only told Kishiar the necessary information for their mission. He deemed it useless for him to know their entanglement. Besides, for Yuder, they were not the same person. No matter their similarities, they were not the man Yuder knew.
Yuder took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. They were here again. No matter how many choices he made, that man's interest in him was the only thing that never left. He had gone through this situation numerous times, but there was only one right response.
"I'm afraid my answer will disappoint you, Commander."
Kishiar stayed silent for a few seconds.
"Lend me your hand."
Yuder stretched his hand, and Kishiar welcomed it in his own. The heat of another human immediately wrapped around his cold fingertips. Yuder could feel a faint beat through Kishiar's skin against his. Kishiar was warm, alive.
"Don't you feel it too, Yuder?"
The man's soft voice interrupted his thought. Yuder looked down at their intertwined hands. Touching like this used to make him lose his breath, like a silence that arrived after a fulfilling conversation, a piece that finally slotted into its rightful place. However, Yuder had outgrown that feeling.
"No."
Yuder released his hand. He had dulled and buried it a long time ago.
"I don't feel anything."
They had immobilized most of the Black Moon cult members before coming here. They were supposed to attack the holy priest at their main temple and arrest the rest of the followers. Yuder watched a few cavalry members who specialized in defense took the first step. They moved to their designated places, ready to break in their enemy by surprise. However, what awaited them was not what they expected.
The inside of the temple was dark and quiet. The first thing that they noticed was the rancid smell and wet concrete underneath their feet. The defense line moved forward steadily while the attack line prepared for any charge. Everyone tried not to make unnecessary sounds. Yuder slowly raised his hand to the front of the line, and a flame was summoned from the tip of his gloved finger. It was then that the sight of the altar filled their vision.
He could see some soldiers turning their heads away as soon as they laid their eyes on the scene in front of them. He could hear a few of them emptying their stomach on the floor. Yuder closed his eyes momentarily and resisted the nausea building in his throat. The whole room was painted red. At the center of the altar was a tower of human bodies. Some of their limbs were intact, and some were unrecognizable. Yuder tightened his grip on his sword.
"Search the place."
A few soldiers hesitated to take the first step when they heard his order, but they soon swallowed their doubt. It only took a few minutes to gather information on the bloody floor. Most of the corpses wore a black cloak and seemed to be a part of the Black Moon cult. The rest were ordinary citizens who had been reported missing. There was no one alive inside the temple.
"Should we look around some more?"
Yuder was busy with his thoughts when a man approached him. Kishiar looked mainly calm. Yuder nodded, and the man started informing the rest of the team to expand their search area. Before the team could fully disperse, the ground of the temple shook. The tremor lasted for a good few minutes and then came the howling. A few soldiers stationed outside ran inside and started shouting.
Rift. Many of them.
Yuder felt a sense of despair inside him. No, it's not too late. He ignored the call of his name and ran outside. He counted the amount of rifts and started judging the most dangerous ones. A million different scenarios and endings were on his mind. He needed to stay calm. This was not the time to panic. Yuder took a deep breath and called over the vice-captains.
"Got everyone into position."
Kanna, Ever, and Steiber immediately assembled their team. He had anticipated this. It would be fine. It needed to work this time, he has to.
"Yuder."
A hand gripped his shoulder.
"Don't go alone."
The voice was almost inaudible. It was as if he was terrified Yuder wouldn't hear him either way. Yuder inhaled before he spun around to face him.
"I'm the only one who can defeat it, Commander."
There must be something on his face because Kishiar looked even more helpless. There was distress in his eyes when he looked at Yuder's eyes. His grasp tightened before he finally relented.
"I'll help you then."
Yuder immediately went towards the biggest rift. There were a few soldiers ready to support him. In just a few seconds, the whole area would turn into a killing floor. Yuder had ceased to count the amount of monsters he had slaughtered. His only purpose now was to eliminate as many as possible. If his body had an injury, he must not have felt it because he was too immersed. It was not like the total and size of the monsters decreased either. The more Yuder killed, the more larger monsters came his way. When he killed the last monster from the first wave, Yuder finally analyzed the conditions around him.
There were a little more than half survived. Yuder was rubbing the blood on his face as he was thinking about the next step when Kishiar approached him with the news.
"Team A was heavily injured."
Gakane.
"I already rearranged the soldiers from another team."
Yuder gritted his teeth. They were outnumbered. Yuder was already occupied with this rift. The next wave would come soon. Even if they rearranged more men, he couldn't cover all of them.
"You're injured."
A hand approached a cut around Yuder's arms. Kishiar just dealt a finishing blow to a monster before he got close to Yuder. His armor was full of blood, but he was mostly fine.
"It's not important right now."
Yuder avoided the touch before it could reach him. He needed to focus on this rift and quickly went to other rifts.
The second wave started. The monsters were more persistent than the last one. Yuder managed to kill a bunch of them, albeit using more strength this time due to their size. The larger their build meant they also had a lot more weak spots he needed to disable. He could feel himself slowly getting delirious from the monsters. The last monster that came was the biggest one yet. It had a thick skin that was hard to penetrate.
"Yuder."
He looked back at the man who had been covering for him.
"I think we need to attack its joints. I'll make an incision using the sword aura, and you finish the rest."
Yuder nodded. It made sense, considering Kishiar's swordsmanship was stronger than Yuder's. Yuder only needed to make the wound bigger. He walked back a few steps to give Kishiar room. He pinched himself awake before he mentally planned his moves.
Kishiar struck the joints between its head and arm. There was an opening in the place that he had attacked. Yuder gripped his sword and rammed it into the injury before dragging it across its torso. The monster was howling in agony, but it was still alive. Yuder could feel the agitation from the creature. It was about to go berserk. They needed to make another one fast.
Kishiar took a running start and swung his sword. Before he could finish a full blow, the monster flung his arms and attacked Kishiar. His body flew and landed with a loud thud on the concrete. Yuder was frozen as he looked at Kishiar's injured body. Kishiar didn't give him time to contemplate though. He coughed and shouted for Yuder to finish the attack. Yuder bit his lips and plunged his sword deep into the monster. The huge body finally fell, and silence permeated the air.
The floor was filled with human corpses. The air was heavy with a metallic smell. Yuder ran towards Kishiar like a madman.
"Yuder..."
There was so much blood on his chest. Yuder could feel the warm and sticky substance on his hands. He wanted to stop the bleeding, but he didn't know the source of the injury. Yuder could feel himself losing his mind.
A hand slowly drew closer and grabbed his trembling ones. Yuder stopped moving and watched as Kishiar clasped their hand together. A memory suddenly filled his mind.
"Do you remember your promise?"
Yuder couldn't stop the ringing in his head.
"I remember."
The air was so thick. Yuder couldn't breathe. He grabbed the hand tightly, afraid to let go.
"When all of these are over, can I have your first dance?"
That was when he felt a hand on his cheek. The gloved fingers slowly rubbed the skin under his eyes. His vision was a bit blurry, but his gaze was only filled with the man in his arms. The man looked so worn out, so tired and helpless, and yet his face was still smiling at Yuder. He looked like he just won the game. It was as if he finally got what he had wanted for so long.
Yuder felt something stuck in his throat, a bile he could never swallow. He wanted to go on a rampage and ruin everything, but every bit of his being told him to stay in this moment with Kishiar. Yuder wanted to tell him everything, but at that state, he could only give him silence. As he was trying to stay awake, Kishiar softened his gaze. It was as if he understood everything Yuder wanted him to know. At that moment, there were only them. A moment of interlude from the world, a resting place before another madness.
"Yudrein."
For the first time in this life, the light reached the obsidian...
"■■■."
And the world restarted again.