Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationships:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Lady's DMC Fics
Stats:
Published:
2025-03-11
Words:
1,594
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
4
Kudos:
54
Bookmarks:
5
Hits:
678

Pizza Party

Summary:

Lady and Trish are girlfriends, and Dante is totally oblivious to it. They make sure he knows.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

”Okay, girls. When you’ve unloaded your gear, stick around. Pizza’s on me tonight. Let’s celebrate a job well done!” Dante sat his ass in his usual chair, behind the desk and dialed up the number to the best pizza place in the area: Ciacco Pizza. With their cheap prices and quick turnaround time, they had only been rivaled by one place. But that place was destroyed two jobs ago, so now Ciacco Pizza was king.

He ordered a couple of pepperoni pizzas, and a bunch with other kinds of toppings—he also made sure to stress they should not put olives on any of them. He always did, yet every time he ordered at least one of his pizzas ended up with some. He was starting to suspect Lady or Trish might be paying them to do it, just to mess with him.

“Alright, ladies. The pizzas have been ordered. There are beers in the fridge; I don’t know if they’re cold yet. The old girl only got some juice a few hours ago, but feel free grab one if you want.”

“Sorry, you were saying?” He turned to find Trish and Lady were looking at him from the couch, obviously expecting him to repeat what he had just said.

“Pizza’s on the way. Beers in the fridge, if you want any.” He wanted to join the two on the couch, but with Lady’s legs practically taking up all the space not claimed by Trish, he opted to kick his legs up on the table and picked up a random magazine, to pass the time.

He wasn’t sure what the two women were up to. They were talking in low voices, one or both of them, chuckling softly at times. When he glanced in their direction, he sometimes saw them touching each other or stroking each other’s hair. As time passed Lady seemed to slowly change from a sitting position with her legs going over Trish’s, to practically laying on her lap. The phrase ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ popped into his mind, as he pondered what they were doing. He also couldn’t help but wonder if him being half-human-half-demon put him at a unique disadvantage when it came to understanding what they were doing.

The two had been awfully close lately. Perhaps Morrison had put them up to a girls-only gig, and that was why. He was happy to see them get along so well; as long as it didn’t mean any more shopping trips on his expense. He shuddered as he thought back to the bill he got when the two first met. It hadn’t happened since, but a tiny part of him was still scared his pay would go to another ruining shopping trip, whenever they did a job together. So far celebratory pizza and beer had kept his wallet safe, but who knew how long that peace would last.

Eventually the doorbell rang. “Lady, Trish. Could you get the pizzas, while I grab a few beers from the fridge.”

“Alright, but only because you’re paying.” Lady called after him, as he made his way up the stairs to the first-floor landing.

It seems the place had gotten power in time for the fridge to be nice and cool in time for pizza. “Good job, old friend. I can always count on you.” Dante said, and gave the fridge a few light pats on the side.

“Dante, why did you order so many pizzas?” Trish asked, half yelled, from the lower floor. “We can’t possibly eat half of this tonight.”

“I’ve got power back, so fridge is functional and I’ve got a microwave. Might as well stock up on food for a few days.”

“Is malnourishment not a thing for demons?” Lady asked, face turned to Trish.

“I don’t know. I try and eat varied. It’s more interesting than the same thing every day.” Trish answered with a shrug, causing her tower of pizza boxes wobble.

“Hey, watch the goods!” Dante warned. “And, let me tell you: Pizza is easy to make varied food. Different toppings just about make it a whole new meal.” That declaration caused him to get doubtful looks from the pizza-carriers.

“So, where do you want us to put these towers?” Lady asked. “I don’t see any free table other than the desk where we could eat.”

“Just put them on the floor. The boxes are going to end up there eventually, so why not get ahead of it.”

“Okay… Sure.” And a moment later the desk was flanked by small towers of boxes of Italian delights.

“Alright. Dig in!” Dante ordered as he moved the picture of his mother to the side and put the phone on the floor, to make room for the boxes and beers.

The dinner went by with catching up on what each of them had been doing on the job. There was the usual competition of who had gotten the flashiest kill, and disputes on which demon had been the toughest or easiest to take down. And comparing how this job compared to the others, on each of those points. At the end, Lady and Trish had taken to sitting on the desk around the final box with slices. The empty ones had ended up on the floor, just as Dante had predicted, and.

“Dante, have you ever considered getting a few more chairs for this place?” Trish asked, adjusting her sitting posture.

“Well, I’ve got a few bar stools back there.” Dante said, thumbing at the bar at the back of the room.

“Those can’t be moved.”

“I’ve got the couch over there.”

“Too far from the desk.”

“And I’ve got this one.” Dante leaned back, with a satisfied grin. “The only chair a man could ever need.”

“Have you never considered your clients might appreciate being able to sit down, when talking to you?” Lady asked, a bit baffled.

“No one has complained so far.” Dante deflected with a shrug. “And after I got to working with Morrison, he’s been taking care of most of the talking and all of the paperwork, so them stopping by is more or less just a formality now.”

Lady shook her head with a sigh. “You are impossible, Dante.”

“Damn right I am. I am also full, so, if you ladies could please finish up that box, while I go take a dump, I would be very grateful.”

One delightful toilet visit later, Dante came back to a scene he had very much not expected. Lady and Trish had finished the box as he asked them to, or rather, they were eating the last slice of pizza, but they were sharing it in quite an unexpected way. In the time he had been gone, the two women had crawled all the way up on the desk, Lady was leaning over Trish, with the remnants of the last slice hanging between their mouths. A piece that grew shorter with each passing moment.

Suddenly, Dante felt very stupid. Here he had been trying to figure out what was going on between the two, and the obvious answer was: they were girlfriends. How long had it been since the two of them had gotten together? He got a little worried about how long he had been oblivious to it, but he quickly decided this wasn’t the time worry think about that. Especially since he was just standing there, staring at them. As the two women’s lips met in a quick peck, he gently slit out a magazine from behind Trish. As the two parted, seemingly not noticing or caring about his presence, Dante made his way to the empty sofa trying to act as if he hadn’t seen any of what was going on, right in front of him. He sat down and tried his best to not look at what was happening. It quickly proved to be a challenge as the two had gone from gentle kissing, to having a makeout session right here in the middle of his place. He was starting to question if he had maybe let the two feel a little too much at home, here in his office, but he felt kind of bad for not noticing them having gotten together. He decided to let it slide this once, as long as they didn’t take it any further.

Which they did, of course. Not much later, things turned heated and Lady started kissing her way down Trish’s neck, with very clear intentions—intentions Trish seemed very ready to go along with. And to his horror, Dante felt himself being unable to ask them to stop, or take it somewhere else. If he wanted them to do this somewhere more private, he would have to be the one to move. He tried his best to stand his ground, but when Lady started undoing Trish’s corset, he realized he was defeated. The women had won, so tonight the office space was theirs’. He gathered a few magazines they had pushed to the ground, and snatched the picture of his mother from the desk. With what Trish and Lady were working towards, it would surely end up on the ground, if he didn’t save it now.

As he walked up the stairs to the first floor, face as red as his jacket, he heard Trish huskily groaning “Thanks for the pizza, Dante,” before going back to undressing herself and her girlfriend.

Dante pretended to not hear her, and left the room, swearing to give them a scolding next time.

Notes:

A friend sent me the art linked below, and I was hit by inspiration for a lil’ thing of Dante being totally oblivious of Lady and Trish being a couple.
While I do believe Dante would actually notice such things, it was just funny to me.

https://drc-dboat.artstation.com/projects/aRzxEX

Series this work belongs to: