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It was when they arrived at Ramandu's Island, where they met his daughter, Liliandil by name. She is beautiful, close to Susan's beauty as Lucy thought. And so is Edmund as he blurted, “No!” in unison with Caspian when the star excused herself since her beauty's might have been a distraction to Caspian, at least that's what she understood from what the King had said earlier. This made a slight pang in Lucy's chest, thinking that her beauty must have not satisfied his brother.
His eyes were glued to Liliandil much as Caspian's eyes were. Lucy wasn't expecting anything at all, after all, he was his sister. Whose brother in their right mind would see their sister beyond that title—of course, not Edmund.
She just looked at him while he was admiring the star across from him, until Edmund had had a quick glance at her sister not far from his side. He wasn't expecting anything at all from Lucy though, not that kind of longing in her eyes, not that sad smile from her. He knows, that kind of look is what he's supposed to be giving to her when he sees her in the crowd of dancing Fauns, Centaurs, Fays, and everyone in the halls of Cair Paravel whenever there's an occasion. That longing look he gave when she was dancing with another Prince instead of him. He knows but Lucy doesn't have any idea.
Their eye contact didn't last long as they went with Liliandil who was guiding them away from the party. She was giving them—Caspian, Edmund, and Lucy—an instruction they should follow to finish Caspian's Voyage.
It was by then Edmund realized he should hold back and let Caspian do the talking as it may stir something between him and Lucy, he wouldn't want to risk a word for that to happen. While Caspian and Liliandil talked, Edmund took the moment and went to Lucy's side.
“Are you alright?” This causes Lucy to flinch, from how close Edmund's lips are to Lucy's ear. His voice is enough for Lucy to feel all the feelings he has for the older, it tingles her to the core. She felt Edmund's hands snake around the back of her waist to her sides, pulling her close to his side. Lucy then gives a quick glance to Edmund whose face is only inches away from him by then, she gives him a quick smile and nodded in response, Edmund did smile back as well.
“What's the matter Ed?” Lucy asks in confusion as to why Edmund was suddenly beside her instead of Liliandil to listen to her instructions. “You,” he answered without hesitation with his gaze focusing on Liliandil and Caspian who were standing inches away from them.
“Me? There's nothing wrong with me though,” Lucy said in defense, but Edmunds hand grips softly on her side. Edmund now stands in front of Lucy, blocking Caspian and Liliandil's view from her. His fingers ran through Lucy's chin and lifted her face to him. “Your eyes are telling otherwise, Lu,” her eyes immediately shifted away from his gaze, Edmund huffed at the sight of her sister's face blushing for him. “Don't even try hiding it from me, Lu,” he said softly.
Lucy bit her lower lips still avoiding Edmund's eyes from her. “I am not hiding anything, Ed,” Lucy answered, keeping herself contained from stuttering. Edmund chuckles at it, letting go of Lucy's face and placing a soft kiss on her forehead instead.
“If that's what you said,” Edmund now went back to Liliandil's side but his eyes were still at the younger.
The kiss didn't help Lucy at all, it made her face flushed in red, she's just lucky it's already dark and the only source of light they have was Liliandil. The kiss just made her hot and overthinking, her heart beating so fast that anytime it might explode. That was the first time Edmund gave physical affection to her, maybe because they were with their older brother and sister, the first two they have visited in Narnia, or he is being homesick and is longing for the mother's affection, after all she wasn't living with her either. Either way, it doesn't make sense with Lucy.
“Lucy, are you with us?” It was by then when Lucy realized she was getting into thinking when Caspian was trying to get her attention. Liliandil was already gone, there's not much of a light now, only the stars above and the moon was all they could have, but Edmund's face was still shining as if he was a star himself.
“Lucy?” Caspian is once again getting her attention, Edmund let out a soft laugh at the sight of her sister knowing he was the reason for it, how did he know? Well, he just knows. “Yes, I am okay,” Lucy answered, Caspian looked at Edmund arching his eyebrows in confusion.
“C'mon now, we have a long journey to go,” Edmund said, tilting his head to the side with his hands on the hilt of his sword. Caspian then walked away from them, Lucy followed, walking past Edmund without giving him a second-glance, Edmund shrugged at this and followed after her.
The walk wasn't that long and soon they reached the party again, Caspian then laid out his plan without much of Edmund’s help as he was too focused on Lucy. It didn't bother Caspian though, he knows there's something going on but he just can't pin point to what it is, but surely only Edmund can handle that.
On the other hand, Lucy was sitting on the stone chair that's overlooking the island, there she sat as if she's the only one there, not minding the discussion going on behind her.
She knows what she's feeling is forbidden, but she can't hold it back that much longer for she knew this visit could be the last one, but she's praying that Aslan may make them an exception and just let them stay there. But, one could only dream.
She couldn't remember how it started, every time she saw Edmund dancing with another who's not her, there's boiling inside of her, but she's not naive or stupid not to know what it was. It was jealousy, all her life she was used to having her siblings' attention all on her, but that kind of jealousy doesn't fit the feeling she was having towards Edmund.
“Are you really sure you are okay?” Lucy looked at the owner of the voice, and surely it is someone who she's expecting. Edmund is already sitting beside her, closer than expected, the warmth makes Edmund feel comfortable and safe. She smiled at him and nodded at him, but this didn't convince the older one. “You've been out of it since Liliandil came down,” Edmund states, grabbing Lucy's hands as she was starting to peel the skin on the sides of her nails—she only does this when she's nervous—so who will easily be caught up on this little white lies of Lucy if Edmund knows her too well.
“It was nothing, really, Ed,” Lucy said and bit her lower lips as she could feel her tears coming up. She really couldn't contain it in herself really, from what Edmund is doing right now, she just wants to let herself fall under his care.
This isn't the right timing but it is necessary to do, with much contemplating inside Edmund's head, he stood up and pulled the younger with her, they walked back to the edge of the mountain where they talked with Liliandil. Caspian saw them walk away but he didn't care, he just let them because he knew they really needed to talk it all out.
Edmund still has Lucy’s hands intertwined with him when they have arrived at their destination, no one's willing to pull out from it. Edmund thought this may be their last time and so he might as well confess to Lucy.
“Remember how I got to walk out the last time we visited here?” Edmund said while he's gazing at the stars above them, still hand in hand with Lucy. Lucy hummed but wasn't able to shift his gaze towards her brother. At this point, they only have their hands intertwined with them star-gazing. Maybe too shy to confront each other’s eyes.
“I didn't know why, but when I saw how you smiled before Prince Corin, it made me somehow mad and sad at the same time,” Lucy squeezed Edmund's hands with this as she remembered how she have heard about this from their older sister, Susan, the other day when they we're having their breakfast earlier than the two. “I know,” she simply said, making the older shift his gaze to her, Lucy now was looking back at him, staring at those dazzling brown eyes. She smiled and so did he.
“Don’t you look at me like that, Lu, I might not hold myself back,” Lucy raised her eyebrows in confusion, literally not grasping what Edmund was trying to tell her, she felt the light tug from her hands as Edmund pulled it closer to her, now fidgeting her fingers with his. “I don't get it, Ed,” Edmund chuckled at this, he looked at their fingers intertwined.
“Peter confronted me that night, you know,” Lucy intently listened to him, because maybe, if her hunches were true, then maybe she could risk it, but if it's the other way around, she would do what she's best at—hiding it all.
“That same day, Peter received a proposal, a betrothal, for you,” With much shock, Lucy pushed back a bit and looked at Edmund who was staring at their hands together, “Why I didn't kn—”
“Peter doesn't want to, he still can't let you go, he put it aside, until I saw the letter on his study table,” He rubbed Lucy’s hands with his thumbs, this comforted the younger. Oh how his brothers love him too much, she thought. “And I,” Edmund stopped, as if thinking if he'll just confess everything and get it over but he's risking too much, too much. “You what?” her heart is beating so fast, as if it's dying to get out of her chest. “I realized I can't let you go off, too, not that early, not at this age though,” it was out of brotherly love after all. At that, Lucy tried to let go of her hands from his, but Edmund’s grasp is too strong for her, he doesn't want to let go.
“And, if it's not me,” Edmund blurted out the second Lucy was gaining her strength to let go, but she stopped when she heard him. “Not you?” Lucy looked at him confusingly, eyebrows arched, her ears yearning for those words to come out of him directly.
There was a long pause, until then, Edmund was still fighting with his ego, this is wrong, so wrong. But he wouldn't let this moment pass, he wouldn't throw this one—maybe, the last—opportunity Aslan had given him, or it wasn't at all. By the lion! how Aslan would even approve of this?
Edmund's inner self was in shambles, and so is his heart.
“Ed,” Lucy spoke softly, rubbing his hands with her thumb, trying to help him get back to her. “I,” Edmund’s chin was trembling, he's scared, more than scared compared to what he has been through with the white witch in the past.
“Love you, I love you, Lu,” with this, he lifted up his head and looked straight into her eyes, she was comforted by it. It was as Lucy just had expected, “I love you too, Ed,” showing him that smile, so innocent and sweet.
“I love love you, Lu,” Edmund panicked as he realized Lucy hadn't picked it up at all. He reached for her cheeks, cupping it with his hands and caressing it with his thumbs. “I know this is wrong, but I love you, not just as a brother, but as a man, a lover,” Edmund was about to shed a tear, and so was Lucy, but as soon as the last word left his, Lucy claimed his lips, closing the gap between them.
A smile forms on both of their lips as they've shared a sweet, delicate kiss, that after all those years of pining, yearning, and tension, they've finally got it sorted. It was mutual after all.