Chapter Text
BOLD STEP FORWARD
The piercing blade took his breath away as it sliced through him. He watched as Emma’s wide-eyed, look of panic turned tearful. Failure kept going through his mind as he fell to the ground, Snow and David mocking him in the background while trying to hit Emma and Henry with fireballs.
He knew he wasn’t the right man for her. He knew she could do so much better than him. All his life had been this huge scheme against him. He was a failure as a brother, as a sailor, as a pirate, he even failed as a lover unable to keep a woman in his arms for longer than five minutes. And now he had failed as a shield. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to at least try to get this woman a chance. He would lay down his life all in the hope that in some other world they might end up together.
Emma had been showing him how to use a sword. To be completely honest, in his mind, all he could think about was how close she had been and how much she had been holding back on the true nature of their relationship. He remembered the way that she touched his hand and her proximity to him, the thought made his heart beat faster.
He thought about how natural it had felt to be courageous and adventurous next to the young lad and this woman. She was the sun bringing light to his life and he couldn’t fathom why she looked at him in adoration. He had never acted this way before in his life with Blackbeard’s crew but, for a moment, it was as if everything in his life made sense.
“Save Henry”, he had said. This selfless act, this moment of bravery had felt completely natural for him. He had been more than willing to die for Emma Swan if it meant she would be safe with her boy. If it meant another version of him would get the possibility of being in her presence once more.
Most of his life had been spent in the shadows and corners, ignored by everyone. He remembers trying to fit in amongst the other pirates but ever since Liam died there really hadn’t been a place for him anywhere in the world. The world was a lonely place.
As he lay on the ground, a pool of blood spilling under him, a flicker of a memory went through his mind: he was in a jungle, his brother Liam was next to him, this was a short time before he had died in one of the navy’s ships at sea. He and Liam were both dressed in navy uniforms, his brother wore a captain’s hat and he wore a lieutenant’s one.
Killian - No. I'll fight my enemies, but I'll fight fair.
Liam - Then allow me to disabuse you of that illusion.
Liam drew his sword and cut off a branch from some sort of bush. He turned to Killian to show it to him and then cut himself with one of its thorns.
Killian - Brother, don't!
Liam - See? Perfectly fine. I told you. Our king would never lie to us. Now let's collect our specimens and get off this…
Liam suddenly stopped and gasped in pain.
Killian - Liam?
Liam - Killian...
Liam turned around to show Killian his veins as they kept turning black.
Killian - Your arm!
Killian raced to his brother's side and supported him as he started to fall.
Liam - I'm sorry, brother.
Killian - No... No. No!
He remembers a young boy. He remembers a warning.
Pan - But... I must warn you. All magic comes with a price, and that spring is no exception. Don't leave the island unless you're willing to pay it.
Killian - Of course, whatever you want. It's yours.
He sees a spring from where he fills a canteen with some water and gives it to his brother who is still gasping in pain. He immediately recovers from his illness as if it never happened. Just a few hours later, after leaving the island, he hears his brother falling down on the ship and cannot help him like the last time, and the last thing he hears him say is “To fight battles with unholy weapons is, as you say, bad form.”
He sees his brother’s panicked face as the black poison took over his whole body. He remembers the pain he felt when he lost the only good thing the world had given him growing up. The desperation that went through his body completely debilitating.
When Liam’s face faded another memory followed, this time it was David that was next to him, it appeared he suffered the same affliction his brother did. Instead of the fear he felt towards him in this life, he felt safe around this version of him. He sees himself gather a canteen of water from the island’s spring, once again, despite the risks and saving David’s life. Knowing full well this is what he would have done for his brother and what his brother would have wanted him to do for others like him.
He sees David’s grateful eyes as he thanks him for saving his life before he stops him and admits to have saved his life as a favor to Emma. But deep down he knew he was conflicted about helping David whether it was for Emma or not. It was the honorable thing to do and he did believe in good form, after all.
The memory shifted again. This time he was with Emma, David, Snow White and another lady he was unfamiliar with. David is looking proudly at him.
David - Hook...He saved my life.
Killian - You sure you want to tell them that, mate?
David - On our trek, we were ambushed by Lost Boys. Pinned down, outnumbered. But Hook, he risked his life to stop me from getting hit by a poisoned arrow but if it wasn't for Hook, I wouldn't be alive.
David then asked for his flask, which he gave promptly. David drinks from the flask and raises it as if cheering for his act of courage. He was completely in awe by this gesture.
David - I thought he deserved a little credit.
The next thing he sees is Emma, and how beautiful she looks. He glances as she is taking hold of his flask. She takes a gulp of his drink and continues to hold the flask as she closes it up. Her lips now wet and looking even more appealing to him. She finds a secluded spot from the others and he follows along.
Emma - Did you really save his life?
He hears her voice, this time unsure, more doubtful and guarded, unlike the woman he met just a few hours ago.
Killian - That surprise you?
Emma - Well, you and David aren't exactly... How do you say it? Mates?
She says that last bit in a funny accent, trying to imitate him but failing terribly. He smiles at that but instantly becomes serious again at the thought that she actually thought he would leave David to die on the island for no good reason. His insecurities taking the best of him yet again.
Killian - Doesn't mean I'd leave your father to perish on this island.
Emma - Thank you.
At that, his eyes immediately turn playful, all he can think about are ways for her to show him her gratitude through some very sinful gestures. He scratched his neck nervously, trying to play the gesture down. His smirk clear.
Killian - Um... Perhaps gratitude is in order now.
She smiles at him, knowing fully well where his mind is going.
Emma - Uh, yeah. That's what the "Thank you" was for.
Killian - Mm. That all your father's life is worth to you?
He took a step forward towards her. And for a moment she is actually not shutting him down. He is completely amazed by this woman. He wonders what would happen if he actually reached out to her and took her lips in his.
She rolled her eyes at him. Of course she would push him away.
Emma - Please. You couldn't handle it.
Something in him told him to push her buttons this time. He just needed to see how far she actually was going to let this playful banter go for. She wasn’t going to kiss him for sure. That would just be insane. He whispered very slowly the bit.
Killian - Perhaps it's you who couldn't handle it.
He was ready for her to back off their banter as she usually did. But that last bit did it. Emma grabbed him by the collar and kissed his lips with such passion he almost fell to the floor. He grabbed her neck sliding his fingers to her head bringing her as close to him as possible, savoring each moment. He could feel himself growl at the intensity of the kiss as she slid her tongue through his mouth tangling it with his. He had never been kissed like this before, and to be quite honest it felt like nothing he had ever experience but wish he could keep on doing. As soon as he felt her back away from their kiss, he felt the loss of that intense connection he had long yearned for with Emma.
Killian - That was, um...
Incredible. Fantastic. Out of this world. Everything I didn’t know I need to continue breathing. They were both completely breathless. He knew she must have felt the same way he did.
Emma - A one-time thing. Don't follow me. Wait five minutes. Go get some firewood or something.
She walked the same way they had come from. Leaving him standing in the same spot, still trying to figure out how he had been redeemed worthy of this moment.
Killian - As you wish.
He heard himself say breathlessly. He knew he was going to fight for her heart, no matter how many times she pushed him back.
Shortly he found himself in the next memory. He sees Henry, he is unconscious in the captain’s quarters in the Jolly Roger. Emma is shouting his name. Snow is also there and another young man. She is asking about the young lad’s location.
Neal – He is here!
Emma is kneeling over Henry’s body alongside another woman. They are putting a heart back into his chest. This moment seems familiar to him somehow. The pieces and bits are starting to make sense in his mind. He is anxious and feels the same energy in the room as Henry remains motionless.
Emma - Are we too late?
Regina - Henry? Honey!
He can’t be dead. He just saw the young boy aged a few years older. Besides, knowing his mother, this boy did not stand a chance against death itself.
He hears Henry gasp to life. Relief flood through his face and his loved ones’ too. Henry sits up to hug both women.
Neal - Woah, woah, woah. Take it easy, buddy.
Henry - I'm sorry. I wanted to save magic.
Emma - It's okay. It's okay.
Henry - I-I wanted to be a hero.
David - Hey, there's plenty of time for that.
Mary Margaret - Right now, it's time to rest.
The relief that rushes through his body is unequal to anything he has ever felt before. He cannot thank the gods enough for this moment.
Killian - Welcome back, young sir. Only the best for our guest of honor. Don't you think? Captain's quarters.
He says with a soft smile. Suddenly, all his memories come rushing back. A lifetime of memories, centuries actually. He had done so much in his life, both good and bad. He could now rest easy, because ultimately, he had given her a chance to save herself and her boy. And no matter what universe he met her at, he was brave and worthy enough of her love.