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The fourth party this month.
Bokuto Koutarou was throwing his fourth party in one month.
This realization came to him on a Wednesday evening in late June. It wasn’t like he was complaining or anything. Bokuto’s parties were some of the best things this century has ever seen (and that wasn’t just his ego talking).
Bokuto had never really counted the amount of parties he had. He just sent out his invites and went on with his life. Usually they were during Volleyball season, so he’d throw them and then move on with his life. But summer training was a different story. He was playing Volleyball, always , but it was less-demanding. And why not throw a party if he doesn’t have to stumble into the gym the next morning acting like he wasn’t suffering from a severe hangover?
So what makes this fourth party of June any different from the rest of the parties he’d thrown?
Probably because this was the 50th invite he’d sent to Akaashi Keiji. Maybe because this was the 50th time he ignored the previous invite that was left on delivered by Akaashi Keiji. Perhaps it was because this was the 50th time Bokuto was sending Akaashi an invite to one of his parties in the span of two years.
His finger hovered over the blue send button. He wasn’t ashamed of his attempts, but he was beginning to think they were fruitless. Bokuto left his message draft there, and put his phone on the night-stand next to his bed. Bokuto rolled over on his back, closing his eyes. He wanted to scream and cry and sleep for days, all at the same time.
______
Kuroo Tetsurou was Bokuto’s longtime rival and best friend. They tried to see each other at least 4 times a month, but they both had pretty high-demanding jobs. They talked everyday though. Rather it was one of them bragging about reaching a goal in a video game or Kuroo sending Bokuto the 200th photo of Kenma falling asleep on him (as if those two haven’t been dating for four years).
They met for lunch Thursday afternoon.
“Am I going crazy or does this food taste like dogshit?” Kuroo whispered, leaning across the table.
“Dude! I thought I was going crazy.” Bokuto muttered in response.
“Wanna pay, then dip?”
“I wouldn’t be okay with anything else.”
They paid the check and waved to the staff before leaving, praying no one saw the disappointment in their faces as they walked out of the restaurant doors.
“So, you’re having another party on Saturday?” Kuroo asked as they walked around downtown Tokyo.
“Yeah. This one’s gonna be better than any other party I’ve had before!” Bokuto smiled smugly, crossing his arms and thinking of all the ideas he’s planned out.
“You say this literally every time you have a party.” Kuroo noted, unimpressed. “Unless Akaashi is actually coming this time?”
Bokuto’s smile faded into an annoyed grimace towards his best friend. “I actually haven’t sent him an invite yet. I’ve got it typed up and everything. But last night I had a revelation.”
“You finally realized he’s got you blocked?”
Bokuto punched Kuroo’s arm. “No, dick. I realized I’ve been doin’ this for two years.” He threw his arms up, helplessly. “Two years! And I still don’t know why he ghosted me.”
“Maybe he’s just really busy?” Kuroo shrugged, trying to be optimistic.
“That’s never stopped us before.” Bokuto mumbled sadly. “The only reason I throw these parties is so he can come.”
“And what do you think will happen if he comes?”
“Shit, I don’t know. Maybe he’d get drunk enough and stay the night. Then I could wake up and cook him breakfast the next morning and ask him what happened. Then we’ll have a healthy talk and I’d confess my agonizing, unrequited love for him. But then he confesses for me and-”
“You’ve clearly thought about this before.” Kuroo groaned.
Bokuto sighed. “Maybe this is the one.” He nodded, mostly just trying to convince himself.
“It's alright, bro.” Kuroo sighed, putting his arm around his friend. “I’m sure there’s a reason for all of this.”
And so, that evening Bokuto hit send on his invitation to Akaashi.
For the 50th time.
________
The process of party throwing never got old for Bokuto.
He usually did all of the decorating the day of the party, just to make sure he doesn’t accidentally ruin anything. Then, he orders all of his food and drinks just an hour or so before the party actually begins just to make sure everything’s still fresh.
Hinata, Atsumu and Sakusa always came and helped as well.
“Bokkun, what's up with all the blue balloons?” Atsumu asked, gesturing up to the five hundred balloons that covered his ceilings.
“Just…wanted to try something different.” Bokuto shrugged, slightly embarrassed. It was pretty insane. But like he’d told Kuroo two days earlier, he had a feeling Akaashi was coming this time.
“Kaashi, is your favorite color blue?”
“How’d you know?”
“I guess I just know you like that.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut up. It’s creepy as hell that you were able to figure that out without any real evidence. I don’t own a lot of blue-colored things.”
“It fits you though. Whenever you wear it I’m like, wow that’s definitely his color.”
“Ok, Bokuto. Just hurry up and finish your ice cream.”
“Bokuto??”
Bokuto blinked, his eyes snapping to the orange ball of energy in front of him. “What’s up little man?”
“What’s up with the cakes?” Hinata asked, pointing towards the kitchen.
Bokuto stared down at him, confused for a split second before realization hit him. “Shit, the cakes!” He yelled, running to the fridge. “Help me with these will ya?” He asked Hinata, who immediately got to work.
Once all the cakes were out, Hinata looked up at Bokuto. “How come you bought so many?”
“Ah, well cake was Akaashi’s favorite dessert.” Fondness painted Bokuto’s smile.
“I see. Well he’s gotta come now right? You got all these cakes for him!” Hinata encouraged.
Bokuto smiled at him. “You’re right, Small-Fry.”
He heard Hinata groan as they migrated out of the kitchen. “I’m not short anymore. I’ve grown 3 inches since highschool.” Hinata complained.
“Shoyou!” Atsumu called from the living room. “Come taste one of these onigiris. Samu sent me one of his recipes but I don’t trust the bastard. Yer the only one here with good taste.”
Bokuto let out a sound indicating he was offended by the statement as he made his way to find Sakusa.
He was in the genkan for some reason.
“Sakusa, watcha doin’?” Bokuto asked.
Sakusa turned towards the man, already looking disgusted even though Bokuto had barely said anything. “Your house is filthy. I’m trying to clean the best I can before guests arrive.”
“Ok drama queen, my house is not filthy! And I don’t get why you're complaining even though you’ll be drunk outta your mind in less than three hours, kissing Tsum Tsum like it’s your last day on earth!” Bokuto argued.
Sakusa grimaced. “So? I don’t wanna get drunk and kiss Atsumu in a filthy house.”
“You’re gross.” Bokuto rolled his eyes, exiting the genkan.
__________
Bokuto objectively had an extremely nice house. Hell, he was a famous Volleyball player. His house sat near the beach, close enough to hear the waves at all times. Most of his house was carved out by huge windows, which gave a beautiful view. There was a ton of space as well.
All this to say, who wouldn’t miss out on one of Bokuto’s parties. There was always a new group of people showing up, who would bring a new group of people the next time. Any other person would be satisfied (if not ecstatic) with the amount of people who showed up to Bokuto’s parties.
But in Bokuto’s mind, it didn’t matter. Bokuto could have all of Tokyo in his penthouse and it wouldn’t matter.
If Akaashi Keiji wasn’t with him, the party was damn near useless.
Bokuto was chatting with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. He hadn’t had an in person conversation with Tsukishima in a while, and he hadn’t seen Yamaguchi since college.
Bokuto was starting to get restless. Usually when he got like this, Akaashi was always there to regulate his feelings. But that hadn’t happened in a long time. It wasn’t like Bokuto wasn’t able to function without Akaashi, but the latter made things much easier. Bokuto felt like an idiot. What made you think this party would be any different from the last forty-nine? However, there was still a shred of hope in him. And he hated himself for it.
“I plan to start engineering next year, but right now I’m still in school.” Tadashi nodded.
“Damn Tsuki, so does this mean you’re dating a student?” Bokuto sneered, knowing that was going to make Tsukishima regret ever showing up to the party.
“Shut up you braindead idiot.” Tsuki rolled his eyes, though his remark had no real bite. “Where’s your little boyfriend anyway? Surprised you aren’t clinging onto him like a monkey right now.”
Bokuto’s smile faltered a bit. “We uh…we aren’t together. He’s too pretty for me!” He joked, in attempt to lighten the mood that Tsuki accidentally suffocated them with.
“Tsuki, didn’t I tell you to be nicer when we got here?” Tadashi grabbed Tsuki’s arm, scolding him silently.
“Well speak of the devil.” Bokuto heard Tsukishima mutter, gesturing towards the door. Bokuto’s yellow eyes snapped up.
And, fuck.
Akaashi Keiji was walking through his door.
Akaashi Keiji.
Akaashi.
In this moment, Bokuto mourned what it would look like to see this everyday. If he could see Akaashi Keiji walking into his
their
home from work, filling his
their
home with his warm presence and coffee-infused scent. Akaashi was only showing up for a party, but he looked like he belonged in Bokuto’s house. It was like Bokuto chose this house knowing one day Akaashi would be there too.
But Bokuto ran before Akaashi even got the chance to look at him.
(Honestly, what would anyone else do in this situation?)
___________
Bokuto was pacing his own house like an idiot. He had about two shot glasses in hand every 10 minutes. He wasn’t even sure if Akaashi was still at the party, but he didn’t want to risk running into him. Because what would he even say? He dreamed about this moment so, so, so many times, but of course now that it’s finally come, he gets cold feet.
“Bokuto, dude, you gotta come here?” Kuroo interrupted his 8th lap around the house. “You know Akaashi’s here, right? Come on, I can take you to him. He’s talking to Kenma right now!”
“He’s still here?” Bokuto groaned.
“Wait, what? You know he’s here? Have you guys already talked?” Kuroo suddenly gasped dramatically, “He didn’t turn you down, did he?” He whispered.
Bokuto shook his head. “Nah, I would be dead in the bathtub right now if that were the case. But I saw him walk in. I just…I haven’t spoken to him.” He sighed, pressing a hand to his forehead.
“Bokuto, look at me.” Kuroo grabbed his best friend’s shoulders.
Bokuto looked up, expecting to meet one of Kuroo’s friendly, encouraging smiles or speeches. Instead he was smacked in the face. Hard.
“I’m gonna beat your ass!” Bokuto yelled, frowning in confusion while holding his cheek.
“No! What you’re gonna do is grow some fucking balls and talk to the man you’ve been in love with since highschool.” Kuroo scolded, “You’ve got all these damn balloons, all these cakes and you’re wearing his favorite color, which doesn’t look good on you by the way.” Bokuto rolled his eyes at the insult. “You’re gonna talk to him, Bokuto.”
“It’s not that easy!” Bokuto threw his arms up in frustration. “What would you do if Kenma suddenly ghosted you and you two didn’t speak for two years?”
Kuroo pondered this for a second. “I’d grow some fucking balls and talk to the man I’ve been in love with since highschool.” He deadpanned. “Look, you go get yourself together and I’m gonna make sure Akaashi doesn’t leave.” He said before making his way to where he previously emerged from.
Bokuto groaned, downing the shot glass in his left hand.
___________
Bokuto ended up on his bedroom’s outdoor balcony.
He felt suffocated downstairs, which was a first because he was usually the life of the party. But as soon as Akaashi entered, it felt like life had been drained. (But it was also exciting at the same time.)
Bokuto got what he thought he wanted. But it felt wrong. There were still so many unresolved feelings he was experiencing when it came to Akaashi ghosting him. He was mad and so, so sad about it, yet he was so hopelessly in love with the man and he wanted nothing more than to crumble in his arms.
“Bokuto.” He heard a familiar, angelic voice.
Bokuto squeezed his eyes shut, praying this was a dream because there was no way Akaashi Keiji was behind him right now.
He heard the shuffling of footsteps as Akaashi moved next to him. Bokuto kept his eyes on the dark beach ahead of him.
“You finally showed up.” Bokuto whispered, tentatively. He wasn’t even sure if he’d said those words out loud.
“Finally.” Akaashi chuckled lightly.
There was a beat of silence that felt longer than it should’ve been.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d want me here…after what happened.” Akaashi spoke first, facing Bokuto fully.
Bokuto snapped his head towards the man across from him. He was so lost. Not want him here? Why the hell would he send fifty party invites if he didn’t want Akaashi to show up?
But this was the first time Bokuto was fully looking at Akaashi’s face in two years. The first time he was speaking to Akaashi in two years. He looked amazing . Two years ago, Bokuto wasn’t sure if Akaashi could ever get more attractive.
Bokuto quickly looked away before he did something he would regret.
“What do you mean?” He asked, not expecting the question to come out as a mutter. He felt his face blush the lightest shade of pink.
“What do you mean?” Akaashi sounded more confused than Bokuto.
“You said you didn’t think I wanted you here after what happened. I don’t know what happened.” Bokuto explained, glancing at Akaashi slightly. He still didn’t trust himself to fully look at him yet.
“Wh-You mean you don’t remember?” Akaashi looked and sounded baffled. What the hell was Bokuto missing?
“I have no clue what you’re talking about, Kaashi.” Bokuto deadpanned, blinking.
Akaashi rubbed at his temples, turning his back towards Bokuto before turning back around again. “Okay, do you remember the grand opening party of Onigiri Miya?”
Bokuto thought for a moment, letting the memory come to him.
He nodded, as he remembered the fresh smell of Osamu and Atsumu’s food. He also felt his mood darken, considering this was two days before Akaashi ghosted him completely.
“Do you remember when you got super drunk and I took you home?” Akaashi asked, slowly.
“Yeah.” Bokuto smiled, his cheeks bloomed pink due to the embarrassment of the memory.
“Do you remember asking me to stay over?”
Bokuto nodded again, even though the memory was faint.
“And…you don’t remember anything after that?”
Bokuto shook his head, still confused at what Akaashi was trying to make him remember.
Akaashi took a deep breath, turning toward the sea.
There was a pause before he spoke again. “Bokuto, you kissed me.” He said, quietly. Quieter than Bokuto had ever heard him before. “You kissed me and told me you loved me.”
Bokuto’s eyes widened at the statement. He KISSED Akaashi? AND CONFESSED?! Suddenly it all made sense. Akaashi ghosted Bokuto because he was creeped out. He was scared of Bokuto’s feelings. Bokuto was considered jumping off of the balcony right then and there. How did he let himself forget this? How drunk was he? How could he let himself confess without even thinking?
“W-What?!” Bokuto yelled, ignoring Akaashi’s warnings about drawing attention. “Fuck, no wonder you hate me! I’m such a dumbass.” He leaned against the balcony railing, putting his head in his arms. “I’m sorry Akaashi.” He mumbled into his arms, shutting his eyes closed, thinking maybe that’s how he could wake up from this nightmare.
“Wait, what?” Akaashi frowned. “Bokuto, I don’t hate you. I thought…” He trailed off.
Bokuto pushed himself up from his arms. “You don’t?”
“No!” Akaashi said it like it was obvious. “I-”
“But you stopped talking to me. You stopped talking to me for two years.” Bokuto acknowledged, as if Akaashi wasn’t aware.
“Yes, but I only did that because…” He sighed, pursing his lips together. The tips of Akaashi’s ears tinged pink. “I thought you were just slurring on about nothing since you were so plastered. I…I just didn’t want to face getting rejected by you.”
Bokuto felt like a highschooler again. It was all so stupid, he couldn’t help but laugh.
“What’s funny?” Akaashi asked, although there was a drop of amusement in his tone.
“I’m sorry..” Bokuto choked out. “We’re just so stupid!” He cackled.
“I guess so.” Akaashi rolled his eyes, smiling.
Bokuto looked up at him. He felt cringy for even thinking it but, fuck, he missed that smile so much. “So you don’t hate me?”
“How many more times do I have to say no?” Akaashi responded, reaching in to fix Bokuto’s shirt collar.
Bokuto swallowed dry. “Can I kiss you again if I promise not to forget tomorrow morning?”
Akaashi smiled up at him, and oh my god it was like he was trying to kill him. Bokuto couldn’t wait for a response (Akaashi could blame himself for this) and snaked his arms around Akaashi’s waist. He kissed Akaashi with warmth. He kissed Akaashi like a woman kissing her husband who was coming home from war in the 1920’s. He kissed Akaashi like it was second-nature.
Bokuto wasn’t sure when Akaashi’s arms found his neck, but he pulled away slightly. “Why do you keep smiling, asshole?” Bokuto said with no real bite.
“Because I waited two years for this.” Akaashi shrugged.
“Imagine how I felt.” Bokuto snorted.
Akaashi's smile faded, turning into something akin to shame. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. I just didn’t think I could ever-”
“It doesn’t matter, Kasshi. Miscommunication is shitty, I don’t care. I still love you.”
Akaashi’s eyes widened a bit and his face bloomed red. “I…love you too.” He muttered, averting his eyes.
“You don’t sound too sure!” Bokuto teased, wearing a smug smile because he definitely just made Akaashi flustered.
“You’re just so…annoying, it’s embarrassing.” Akaashi rolled his eyes, playing with his fingers behind Bokuto’s neck. “I would’ve come to your parties if they all looked like this, by the way.”
“Ehh, not all of em’ looked like this. But for some reason, I had a feeling you’d come to this one so I went ahead and made it Akaashi themed.” Bokuto giggled.
“I noticed the cakes and balloons. The music too.” Akaashi smiled, fondly.
Bokuto felt warm at the observation. “Cus I threw this party just for you.” He stated, dragging Akaashi out of the balcony and into the house.
“So now that I’m here, what are you gonna do?” Akaashi asked, following Bokuto out of the bedroom.
Bokuto smiled at the thought. “I’m gonna drink myself into oblivion, kiss you senseless, convince you to stay the night, wake up with a hangover and you next to me.”
“You’ve planned this out before, huh?” Akaashi laughed, raising his voice to accommodate the loud music as they made their way downstairs.
All Bokuto could do was smile and nod because he was so unbelievably happy right now.