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7 Ways to say “I love you” and he still doesn’t get it.
Today was the day. Not tomorrow, not in a week, it would be too late, today would be the day.
When he left the training room, his perfectly muscled chest coated in sweat, you decided it was time. Too bad if he rejected your confession, too bad if he made fun of you (he never would), today would be the day, and nothing would stop you from confessing your love to this man, the first mate, all the feelings you’ve felt for him since you first saw him. And these feelings have only grown stronger as you experienced adventures together aboard the Thousand Sunny. So it was time, today would be the day. Today, Roronoa Zoro will know that you love him madly.
Way Number 1
The first test had taken place at dawn, so as not to lose that spark of courage. Roronoa was leaving the training room, as usual, and as he was about to go to the bathroom, you stopped him from leaving the room, to ensure some privacy in this crazy ship. So you stood in the doorway, facing him, your fists and your jaw clenched, as if to cling to the last shred of courage that was slipping away in front of the face of the imposing pirate hunter.
"Zoro, I have something to tell you. It's important."
The first mate looked at you with a disillusioned expression, more focused on mopping the sweat that was on his neck with a small white towel (Nami kept yelling at him when she found the floor of the room covered in sweat after his training).
He made a simple, strange grimace in response.
But don't lose confidence: go for it !
"You know, when I see you… Let's just say I can't stop smiling…"
The bombshell had been dropped, no turning back. It wasn't the best of opening lines, but at least it had the merit of being clear…
But strangely, the pirate froze and seemed almost angry. He broke the awkward silence that had quickly fallen.
"Don't make fun of my hair, I've had enough of the cook and his stupids jokes."
And without further ado, he gently pushed you aside so he could walk through the door and into the bathroom.
A strange expression adorned your face: had he deliberately pretended not to understand, or had he really not? With Zoro, anything was possible.
There's no choice, to be sure, there's only one solution: try again. And be much clearer so as not to leave any room for doubt.
Way Number 2
The second attempt took place in the dining room, after Zoro had showered and joined the rest of the crew for breakfast. Zoro, due to his morning training, had the annoying tendency to arrive last at the table and therefore often ended up eating alone, when you didn't stay to keep him company (which was rare). This didn't bother either of you, and it was even nice to be able to share each other's company in silence (and without the risk of having your food stolen by the captain).
And this morning again, it was just the two of you left in the dining room. Sanji was washing dishes in the kitchen, several meters away. Normally, he couldn't hear your conversation, and anyway, Sanji liked you very much and had repeatedly encouraged you to reveal your feelings, even if it was for that stupid swordsman.
So, you found yourself in the quiet of the dining room, Zoro absentmindedly chewing on his croissant.
"Zoro."
"Hmm." Zoro didn't even bother to reply, but that was common with him. When he finished training, the next nap was always around the corner, especially when his stomach was full.
"You know, I can't help but think about us, in the future. What we'll become, you and me, after all this…"
The dream was clear: Luffy had become the Pirate King, every member of the crew had achieved their dream, it was time to retire and peacefully enjoy the last years of your life. And there was only one way to imagine it: in a magnificent house by the sea with Zoro as your wonderful husband, surrounded by the people you loved so much.
"For me, it's very clear." Zoro began.
"I'll have beaten Mihawk, I'll be the best swordsman in the world, and in about thirty years I'll die in an epic battle."
A cold shower. What the hell ? What was this vision of the future? Where was the romance, the love, the world peace, the little pink flowers, and the candy?
Zoro had a huge smile (a rare thing for him, but he revealed his feelings much more in your presence), while he already imagined what speech he would give to the world when he was officially recognized as the best swordsman in the world.
Way number 3
A battle was lost, but not the war. There was still all day to achieve this goal. Zoro had always been kind of… strange? But that was part of his charm, and you have to learn to communicate with him.
The third attempt took place just after his breakfast nap. Roronoa was lying in the same spot as usual, enjoying the warmth of the sun's rays on his skin. The ship was strangely quiet, even the captain, so it was time to attack. The only nakama around was Robin, but she was a reliable and mature friend; she would never make fun of you for daring to reveal your feelings (and perhaps being rejected…). Making fun of Zoro for his stupidity, on the other hand…
"Zoro, I have something important to tell you," you tried again.
In the distance, on her chair, hidden behind one of her book, Robin discreetly lowered her book to spy on the scene.
Don't lose courage: go for it!
Zoro opened his eye and looked at you doubtfully. He stood up, hiding a yawn, and sat down properly opposite you.
"Me too," the swordsman replied in a deep voice.
Caught off guard and far too polite to dare contradict anyone, you let him speak first.
"Go ahead, please."
Would he finally make the first move? Like in the romantic books Nami give (rented*) you? It would be a wonderful story to tell all your friends!
Butterflies began to dance in your stomach as you struggled to hide your joyful smile, eagerly anticipating your first declaration of love, especially from this man.
"If I find your hair in the sink after your shower again, I'll cut you into thin slices."
Way Number 4
Attempt number three deserves no comment, but it will forever be in your memory as one of the worst disappointments of your life.
Finding the motivation for trial number four was difficult, but Robin's comforting words and her promise to make him fall down the stairs the next time he will go into the storeroom had given you the courage to try again. Because he was worth it. And with a misunderstanding, it could work...
The fourth attempt took place after lunch, once again after everyone had left the table because Zoro could be particularly slow at eating (much to Sanji's dismay, who only wanted one thing: to kick him off the table so he could clean the dishes faster).
And this time, desperate times called for desperate measures: if simple declarations of love weren't enough to reach his brain, one last possible solution: try to coax him with jealousy. And there was only one person on this ship who could definitely stir up Zoro's jealousy: The Black Leg.
"Zoro, you know…"
He looked up at you as he continued chewing on his cheese-covered potato.
"Sanji keeps running after me, but you're the one I want to be with."
It was simple, clear, and effective. Sanji would surely forgive you for using his reputation to get what you wanted, but this was an uphill battle.
Zoro sighed loudly and dropped his fork onto his plate.
"Of course, I understand, he's unbearable. Every time he does his ridiculous dance, I want to…" And he began a long, five-minute speech about why the cook's company was unbearable and how he'd rather be surrounded by the baboons of Mihawk Island than spend more than an hour in the same room as him.
But how could this man be so stupid ?
Way Number 5
What were you supposed to do? Ask him very directly: "Hey, I want to marry you and sleep with you for the rest of my life because I think you're super sexy?"
NO WAY. This story will have to be told to your children and grandchildren, so it had to be magical.
So the fifth attempt did indeed take place, much to your dismay. When you woke up this morning, you naively thought Zoro would understand immediately and, of course, confess his feelings for you too. That you would then live on nothing but love and fresh water for the rest of your days.
But not at all. So this time, Nami gave you a long speech about the importance of love and living without remorse (she had taken this speech from the latest romance novel she was reading and had promised to "give" it to you for 100 berries).
So the fifth attempt took place just as Usopp warned the crew that an island was in sight. An agitation had filled the ship's deck, everyone hurrying to pack their things to dock and prepare for a new adventure. Since everyone was busy with their own business and Luffy hadn't yet provoked any monstrously dangerous enemies, this was the perfect opportunity.
"Zoro, you know…"
He turned to you as Usopp was shouting to not go to that island because you all risked dying.
"I'm afraid of losing you…"
Again, Zoro's look was strange, and all hope vanished from your mind. You knew him by heart now, he still hadn't understood.
"That's not true. It's that witch who talks nonsense. I never get lost; it's her explanations that aren't clear."
And this time, he began a three-minute monologue about what an evil witch Nami was. But you listened to him, because even when he was a little silly, it was always a joy to look and listen to him.
Way Number 6
The next attempt, unfortunately, took place shortly before the end of the day. Your courage and motivation had left you for good, but hey, you might as well try until the end. If by midnight, he still hadn't figured it out, then tomorrow you would put an ad in the newspaper to find a future husband, including an IQ test that had to be completed before the first date.
But even though this quest seemed doomed to failure, you joined him as usual after dinner on the deck to look at the stars together. This little habit had quickly formed between you since each other's company was particularly pleasant. You wrapped a blanket around your shoulders to keep warm and sat next to him, your legs touching his, almost tangled together, which didn't seem to bother him.
"You know, Zoro, every time I join you at night, under the stars, and sit next to you, I'm overwhelmed with happiness, I can feel butterflies everywhere."
Zoro turned at you, taking his eyes off the stars, and gave you a strangely compassionate look.
"Maybe you should go see Chopper; he should have something to heal you."
You only responded with a weary sigh, now used to it, and returned to your stargazing, gently resting your head on his shoulder to let sleep take over.
Way Number 7
The final attempt took place shortly before midnight. After your sixth failed attempt, you had definitively given up the fight, admitting defeat in front of the whole world (and especially in front of Nami and Robin, who were spying on you from the ship, binoculars in hand and a mini spy den den mushi near the redhead.)
But the final declaration did take place, two minutes before midnight.
As usual, you fell asleep on the swordsman's shoulder, who waited until you started shivering in your sleep despite your blanket, to take you in his arms and gently carry you back to the room you shared with the other girls on the crew.
The touch of his skin on yours woke you up every time, but it felt so good that you always pretended to be asleep so he'd carry you to your bed, lay you down on your bed, take off your shoes, and gently kiss your forehead before leaving the room (even though he'd never admit it out loud).
But since this day was special, you might as well try one last time, just before midnight.
"Zoro." You doubted your sleepy voice would reach him. You kept your eyes closed, probably to tell yourself that this day had ultimately been nothing but a dream.
"I love you."
Zoro continued walking with you in your arms, and didn't seem particularly surprised by this declaration.
"Why?" the swordsman simply asked as he gently opened the bedroom door.
You sighed again. He was impossible…
“Because I love being by your side, I love spending hours looking at you, listening to you. Because either way, I have no doubts, I know my place is by your side. In the end, I won't be able to explain it clearly. Maybe because I don't need a valid reason. I just know I love you and that's it.”
And as usual, he gently lay you dow on your bed. He took off your shoes. But this time, his lips touched yours.