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Vedal shot up from his bed with a yell, visions of his vivid nightmare flashing in his head as his breathing became erratic. He clutched his chest, trying to calm himself down. Slowly, his breathing slowed and steadied itself. He wiped at his forehead, slick sweat sticking onto his hand. He stared at his own hand for a long couple of moments. It was another nightmare of his past. Memories that he wanted to bury deep in the depth of his brain, but they continue to resurface as nightmares.
“Fuck…I really need those meds.” Vedal mumbled, as he recalled the nightmare. Vedad. Drunk. The shatter of bottles. A raised fist looming over Vedal. Seemingly never ending pain. His sleep just resurfaced all memories of his horrible childhood. All the suffering he had to endure. But he shoo’d his thoughts away once a tiny voice was heard from the doorway. “Dad? You okay?” Out from behind the doorway was a small child, she had brunette hair with two hair ties. It was Neuro, his daughter. “Was it another bad dream?” Vedal just lightly nodded as he reached for his phone. He looked at the time. 6:34 AM. Vedal let out a short groan, putting down his phone and focusing on his daughter.
“What do you want for breakfast, princess?” Vedal asked in a kind voice. Neuro stepped closer as she pondered her father’s question. She opened her mouth, but closed it as she decided against what she was gonna say last minute. Eventually, Neuro spoke, almost a whisper. “…Eggs.” Vedal nodded as he stood up off of his bed. He slipped his loafers onto his feet and walked towards the door. “Well c’mon princess, you can watch me cook.” He gestured his head over as he began walking. Neuro meekly followed behind him. Through their small and empty house. The place was dull. Gray walls lined the entire house. As they walked, they passed through the small living room. It was a small couch facing an old timey TV. It flickered into static for a moment before continuing to play the news. “Breaking: Drunk driving related deaths are at an all time high.” Neuro stiffened upon hearing the news. She looked up at Vedal with an anxious and scared look.
“Don’t worry Neuro. We’ll be fine, I’ll make sure of it.” Vedal reassured, as he cracked an egg against the edge of the pan and cracked it open, it sizzled as it landed on the pan’s surface. Neuro looked around anxiously but let out a small, almost unnoticeable smile. Neuro stood on the tips of her toes, watching as her dad cooked an egg. Eventually Vedal put the plate on the dinner table. Neuro plopped into her seat as she grabbed her cutlery. She looked up at Vedal, a silent way of asking if she could eat. Vedal nodded and she dug in immediately, stuffing her face full of eggs. Vedal watched her eat with a sense of pride.
He’s been a single father for a couple years now. Ever since Neuro’s mother, Anny died in labor, he had to raise her all by himself. Pushing past the grief, he had to learn how to feed a baby with a formula bottle. He had to learn how to change a diaper. But he persevered. To make sure that she had the best childhood someone could have without a mother. To make sure she doesn’t experience a childhood like his. One of pain and suffering. Vedal was determined to let Neuro live her best life.
“I’m donneee!” She called out as she grabbed her plate and walked over to the sink, putting it down. Vedal snapped out of his train of thought before he spoke. “Good. Watch some TV. I’ll just wash your plate really quick.” She nodded and quietly shuffled her way to the couch. Vedal sighed as he walked up to the sink. He looked down at his hands. Scars litter his palms and fingers. Reminders of the hell he’s been through. He shut his palms as he took a deep breath. He reached for the sponge and picked up Neuro’s plate. Scrubbing the plate clean of dirt. Vedal’s mind raced as his body washed the dishes like second nature. Money’s a problem. His current 9 to 5 isn’t cutting it. He needed more money to pay for the house. They were merciful enough to turn a blind eye last month. But this time he had to pay.
“Dadd, could you come here? I wanna show you something!” Neuro called out from the couch. Snapping Vedal out of his thoughts. “In a minute, sweetie.” He put the plate on the drying rack and dried his hands with a towel and he walked over to her.
_______
It was a dark Saturday evening. Rain pattering down against the windows. Vedal grumbled as he typed out a message, but immediately deleted it. “Ugh. These fucking bastards.” He mumbled. The aggressive clacking against the keys was disturbed by Neuro’s small voice. “Dad?” Vedal cut her off, voice sharp with irritation. “Not now, honey.” Neuro continued her words, trying to reach out to him. “I’m hungry and you haven’t cooked anything. What’s for dinn-“ Vedal’s voice got a bit louder, as his fingers clicked and clacked against the keys. “I said it’s not the TIME, Neuro.” Neuro flinched at his raised voice. But she continued, “I just wanna know what we’re having for dinner-“ Vedal groaned as he whipped around, his tone indignant. “I said, it’s not the TIME!” He shouted.
Neuro’s eyes widened. She gripped the doorway as she took a few steps back. Vedal’s face shifted into regret and worry upon realizing what he had done, standing up and approaching slowly. “Hey, sweetie, I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m in a bad mood today. I didn’t mean to scare y-“ Vedal spoke before Neuro’s eyes welled up with tears “I HATE YOU!” she yelled, voice full of grief and anger. She sprinted away from him. Vedal walked out the door and followed her before seeing her enter her room and slam the door. He walked up, stopping at the door of her room. He knocked twice, speaking in a soft tone. “Neuro? I’m truly sorry for what I did.” He waited for a response. But no one replied. He spoke again, tone softer. “I said I’m sorry, didn’t I? This was just a one time mistake. Please, honey.” Once again, no reply. Getting more worried, he put his ear to the door. Inside he could faintly hear the rustle of bedding and muffled sobbing.
He grimaced, backing away from the door. Deciding not to make his situation any worse, he stepped away from the door, walking into his bedroom. Upon reaching his bed he sat on the edge, clutching his head. “Look what you did, Vedal. You took out your frustration on your daughter.” He mumbled to himself. “Get a grip, Vedal! Don’t be like…HIM.” Vedal clenched his hands in frustration. Memories of his father came into view as thoughts of self loathing crept up in his mind. Like a shadow he can’t get rid of. And right now? At his lowest? He’s beginning to believe these thoughts. “Maybe I am not good enough.” Vedal let himself fall onto his bed. Landing with a soft poomf. Staring up at the ceiling, overlapping thoughts raced through his head. ‘Am I really a good father? Is Neuro really happy with just me? Maybe she hasn’t been happy?’ Vedal stared right at the ceiling.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, snapping him out of his self deprecation. He sat up and reached into his pocket, pulling his phone out to see who’s calling him. His eyes widened at the sight of ‘Cerber’ on his phone screen. What was she doing calling him? After a year of no contact? Something must be wrong. Vedal picked up the call, putting the phone to his ear. “Hello-“ Vedal was cut off by a very panicked sounding Cerber. “You picked up! Thank goodness. I thought you wouldn’t, considering how I…” Cerber stopped for a moment, before continuing right after, “Uh, you know.” Cerber let out a sheepish chuckle, before clearing her throat. “Anyways. I’ve got a problem. It’s urgent. And…you were the only one I could think of that could help me.” Vedal groaned slightly. “Cerber. You do know I have a child, right-“ Cerber interrupted, “Yes, I’m aware. You can bring her along as well if you want.”
Vedal thought about it. It should be quick and easy. He let out a loud sigh. “Fine.” He could hear Cerber’s voice light up through the phone. “Really? Thank you thank you thank you!!” Her voice was a pitch higher than before. Vedal jumped away from the phone a bit from the change in her tone. “Alright, alright, calm down. I’m only doing this because it’s gonna be quick and easy.” Cerber snickered slightly through the phone. “Alrighttt, Vedal-wan. Are you sure you don’t just miss me?” Vedal rolled his eyes. “And that’s enough of that. Goodbye, Cerber.” Vedal hung up the phone. Once he did, he stood up and stuffed it into his pocket. Letting out a sigh, he walked up to his closet. Taking out his turtle hoodie, slipping it over his head. He walked out of the room.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped up to Neuro’s room. He lifted his hand and gently knocked against the door with his knuckles. “Neuro? I’m going out and I wanted to ask if you wanted to come along?” Vedal paused for a second, seeing if there’s a response. Hearing none, he continued. “You don’t have to answer, just come out if you want to.” And with that he walked away from the door. As he began putting the shoes on and unlocked the front door, a gentle click of a door opening was heard. Vedal smiled, knowing very well what that was. He didn’t turn once Neuro sat down next to him to put on her shoes. He just waited. Neuro stood up straight once she was done. Vedal smiled and walked out the front door, Neuro following close behind. “It shouldn’t be that far. Just a couple blocks away.”
Vedal reached back and Neuro’s small hand clutched his. They walked across the sidewalk. Moon shining down upon their faces. This part of Edinburgh is quiet at night. A soothing breeze washing over them, Neuro’s hair waving gently in the wind. Vedal pressed the pedestrian crossing button and waited. The light turned green and they crossed. Neuro clutched her dad’s hand tighter as they walked in front of all the stopped vehicles. Her grip softened when they reached the other side. “Don’t worry, Neuro, we’re basically there.” Vedal spoke, his tone sounded like he was done with life. Turning left to a house, he walked up the front steps and pressed the doorbell. Instead of the ring of a bell, it’s the squeak of a dog toy. It only took a couple seconds before Cerber answered the door. “VEDAL-WAANN!” She cried as she jumped out at him.
Vedal caught her, sighing. “Hello Cerber. What was it that you needed?” Meanwhile Neuro rolled her eyes. “Oh, it’s the babysitter. Back when you were too busy to…” Neuro stopped and changed subjects quickly. “Why did she call you over? I haven’t seen her in a year.” Vedal answered, “Apparently she needs my help.” Neuro scoffed, “When she needs your help, you respond. But when I needed help…you ignored me.” Vedal frowned, “Neuro, you know that was when I was at my lowest.” Neuro turned her head away from him. “I do. Though I prefer to call it ‘when you were busy doing child neglect’. Feels more fitting.” Vedal’s face darkened, and he opened his mouth. But nothing came out. So he closed it. “See?” Neuro began, “You know I’m right.” Vedal stuttered, reaching out, “N-Neuro, you know i’ve apologised-“ Neuro stepped back and turned to run off. She climbed down the front steps and off Cerber’s lawn and toward the sidewalk.
Vedal’s eyes widened as he ran after her. “Neuro! Wait!” But she didn’t look back. Tears began to form in her eyes, but fought them back by closing her eyes. “NEURO!!” Vedal yelled as she ran blindly into traffic. Neuro opened her eyes and looked around, realizing where she was. But she didn’t see the truck approaching. And she didn’t react fast enough. The truck slammed into her, a sickening snap echoing as she bounced off the steel grill. Her body twisted in an unnatural way as it landed a few blocks away with a thud. Vedal’s eyes widened in horror, as he sprinted over to her body. Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared at her mangled corpse. She laid prone as her arm twisted the wrong way and a snapped bone protruded from her leg. Vedal clutched her body against his, the blood dripping against his hands and jacket. “Ha…” Vedal laughed dryly. “I’m truly in hell.” Tears fell from his face as he looked at his hand. Stained red from blood. People gathered around as Vedal mourned the death of his daughter. Every moment was a living nightmare.
Vedal was used to reality being hell. And he ran away every time. But this time? Vedal couldn’t escape this one. Not ever.