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It was easy. Really. Shin just needed to cross that threshold and drop her bag on one of those twin beds. Easy-peasy.
And still, she hesitated.
“Yo, Shin! You’re going to stay standing there all day?” Shuu asked with a grin, flopping on the mattress of one of the beds as Shin startled and started to blush.
“I… this is a bad idea,” the green-haired girl finally mumbled even as she walked in, clutching her travel bag to her chest. “Perhaps it would just be simpler if I went to share Ryo’s room. I mean, between girls, it would have been…” she trailed off as Shuu gave her a look.
“We all agreed Ryo needed the rest and not get too fussed over while she sleeps, and that it was better for Jun’s nerves that he stays with her anyway, given how scared he got when she collapsed,” the Chinese boy reminded her as he sat before he crossed his arms over his chest and grinned toothily. “What, not trusting me with your ‘virtue’, Shin?” he teased as Shin started to blush and stutter.
“That’s not…! I’m not…! I never said…! Shuu!” she exclaimed as the boy threw his head back and laughed heartily. Despite her rising indignation, Shin couldn’t help but smile at the display of good temper. There was something about the Kongo bearer that put her at ease immediately. She didn’t know why. She felt safe with all the Troopers, yes, but with Shuu… there was just something that ‘clicked’ right.
Cue why, when an embarrassed Nasutei had told them that, even if the house was big, there was only so many bedrooms and the Troopers would have to share, Shin hadn’t reacted when Shuu had stated he saw no problem sharing with Shin – if that was alright with her, of course.
Given Jun had already claimed the same room as Ryo’s – Ryo who was still out like a light and couldn’t let her own wishes know, but who probably wouldn’t have turned the little boy away – it was either accept the offer or room with Seiji or Touma. And that was another logistic nightmare all of its own; Seiji was very nice but would likely feel very awkward sharing such close living space with a girl he wasn’t related to, trusted friend or not. As for Touma… Shin had heard Seiji yell at him to put on pants before someone else saw him. Friend or not, there were things Shin didn’t want to see if Touma was indeed in the habit of sleeping in the nude.
So yes, Shuu was a logical choice of roommate given the narrow possibilities.
But was it truly alright?
“That… that really doesn’t bother you?” she insisted again, even as she put her bag on the second bed. “I mean… boys and girls sharing a room together at our age…” she trailed off again, blushing despite herself.
Shuu shrugged. “Why should it?” he asked rhetorically. “I share my bedroom with my sisters all the time,” he commented casually. “Chun Fa runs into my room whenever there is a storm because she’s scared of the thunder, and Rinfi says mine is warmer in winter and sleeps on a mat on the floor one night out of three, easily.”
“Yes, but those are your sisters,” Shin insisted again. “I’m not.”
“Sure, you are,” Shuu proclaimed with a wink as Shin stilled, cheeks flushed. “You’re as good as one for me, Shin. That’s why I don’t see a problem sharing with you. I’m just keeping a close eye on my sis, as I would when my family goes to an inn for the holidays. Really, Shin,” he added, his smiled growing softer and more reassuring. “It’s fine, I swear.”
“I never said it wasn’t,” Shin said forcefully, heart beating fast. Shuu really saw her as…? That was… incredibly sweet of him. But boys rarely kept ‘brotherly’ feelings for a girl at their age, and she really didn’t want to give him false ideas and hopes if his did. That, and while she trusted Shuu with all her heart, some things just weren’t proper.
As she had hinted to Shuu earlier, at fourteen and fifteen respectively, an unrelated boy and girl sharing the same bedroom definitely was frowned upon.
It surprised Shin that Seiji hadn’t frowned more at the idea Shuu and Shin would be roommates for the time being, him who came from a family even more traditional than hers.
Shin looked at Shuu in the eyes – big, round, honest eyes, and if she had been inclined to like boys, perhaps Shin would have found Shuu cute. But Shin… wasn’t. She knew she was still young, and relatives around her kept telling her that when she’d meet the right one, she’d get head over heels for him, but Shin already knew better.
She had known better since she was twelve and saw Arimoto-sempai finish her floor routine, stars in her eyes and thinking the older girl was the most gorgeous person Shin had ever since. Then there had been the way her heart started to beat whenever Sumiya-sempai talked to her in the corridors, even if it was only to remind her about a class delegates’ meeting after school. And lately, Shin had started to eye Kumiko-chan, one of her classmates with pretty doe-like eyes and…
Well. Once is happenstance, but thrice were pretty much a confirmation, especially when all around her, Shin’s classmates had started to giggle around boys they found ‘cute’, drew Shin in their conversations, and while she smiled and nodded, the Suiko bearer had felt nothing when looking at one of those ‘cute boys’.
Shin liked girls.
It was a fact of life, very much like the sun rose every morning, water was wet and fire burned.
She liked girls, and she was going to share her bedroom with a guy and perhaps, accidentally, turn what were brotherly, platonic feelings into something else.
How could she not be nervous about that?
“It’s just…” she swallowed, unsure of how to express what she really felt, what she really feared.
Shuu looked at her, head tilted before his smile grew even softer. “If you’re afraid I’m going to crawl in your bed and have my wicked ways with you, Shin-chan, you shouldn’t worry. You’re not my type at all.”
Shin’s cheeks grew hot. “That’s not…!
“I mean, you’re pretty Shin, or at least I think you are as cute as my sister Rinfi, but when it comes to check out someone attractive… I like them with a lot less chest and a cock between their legs,” Shuu added blissfully, rubbing the back of his head.
Shin’s jaw dropped open. Had Shuu really said what she thought he had said?! “You… you are…?” she asked tentatively, heart beating fast, but this time, it wasn’t in embarrassment or panic. If Shuu really was serious, then that meant that Shin wasn’t the only one who…!
Oh. No wonder she felt like the two of them were ‘matched’, she thought faintly in realization.
“I’m gay,” Shuu nodded sympathetically, as if he understood perfectly well what was going on in Shin’s head – and he probably did, too. “One hundred percent attracted to boys. Is it going to be a problem?” he asked her, his smile turning rueful.
“Oh, no!” Shin quickly shook her head as she sat down. “Not at all.” A hand nervously smoothed over the fabric of her pleated white skirt as she eyed Shuu with a mix of curiosity, hope and sympathy. “May I ask since when you know…?”
“Since last year,” Shuu grinned, sounding definitely amused. “Mind, I wasn’t fully sure until about, oh, three months ago, but I was watching that action movie where the male lead ends up shirtless, and he had abs that were such…” he sighed dreamily before coughing. “Got the most awkward boner ever, let me tell you, and I was lucky I was alone, ‘cause I don’t know how I would have explained that one to the younger kids,” he added on the tone of confidence as Shin couldn’t help but giggle, putting a hand over her mouth to hide it. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, but it’s still true,” Shuu blew a raspberry at her. “I thought it was nothing, but then I started to have wet dreams, and it was never about the female lead. Only about guys’ muscled asses and killer thighs.”
“Girls can have killer thighs too, you know,” Shin snorted despite herself, making herself comfortable as she kept smiling. “My sempai certainly had. She was my first crush,” she admitted with a soft expression. Shuu didn’t react, just nodding at her to go on. Had he known already about Shin’s sexuality? Had Shin checked Nasutei a little too obviously? The redhead young woman was very pretty, and most of Shin’s crushes so far had been older women. She thought she had a type.
Wherever it was the case or not, though, Shuu wasn’t judging, and that was all the encouragement Shin needed to talk. “Prettiest girl I had ever seen, with such long, wavy chestnut hair and hazel eyes I thought I could have lost myself in without regret. And when she called me ‘Shin-chan’… I always thought my heart was going to burst,” she sighed in remembrance as Shuu nodded gravely.
“I get it. Can’t say I ever had a crush on any classmate yet, but I definitely looked at other boys and thought ‘wow, he looks nice’,” the Chinese boy confided, hands in his lap. “Hadn’t really had the occasion to talk about it to anyone yet, though. My parents are open-minded, but… it’s a very heavy subject to work in a casual conversation, eh? And I don’t want my younger siblings to become aware yet. I… I don’t want them to see me differently,” he confessed, for once looking sad.
Shin reached and squeezed his knee in sympathy. “My Mother knows,” she confessed, “and I think my older sister suspects, but no-one else in my family is aware. I know they wouldn’t be happy with me if it got out,” she mumbled, refrained to mention they already weren’t happy SHE got to become Suiko’s bearer instead of one of her older, male cousins. “Mom is alright with me, though,” she added quickly. “All she wants is to see me happy, no matter with whom.” But she still worried Shin wouldn’t get accepted for who she was…
“Hey, at least you know you have someone at your back,” Shuu pointed out helpfully.
“I… yes, I suppose there is that,” Shin admitted after a moment of thinking. It was true that most families weren’t exactly tolerant of their children who expressed sexual attraction for the same gender as themselves. She couldn’t imagine Shuu’s family turning on him for preferring men, though, not with how open and kind he was. “Doesn’t anyone know about you? At all?” she inquired, vaguely worried.
As much as it would be an honor to be the first Shuu told his ‘secret’ to, that would also be sad…
“Seiji knows,” Shuu shrugged, surprising her. “And I suspect Touma has worked it out on his own, what’s with one or two things he told me.”
“Seiji knows?” Shin repeated, blinking. “Oh. I… suppose it explains why he didn’t object to the two of us sharing a bedroom, then,” she chuckled, eyes shining with mirth as the realization sunk in.
“Pretty much,” Shuu grinned back. “It’s a silly thing; I hadn’t exactly intended to tell him, buuut… he caught me checking out his ass while we were changing after stopping at an onsen on our way back from Hokkaido with Nasutei, and let me know his eyes were up there, thank you. I shouldn’t have, I know that, but have you seen Seiji’s ass when he’s in subarmor?” he whined.
“I have. It’s a nice ass,” Shin admitted, because even if she felt nothing about boys, it didn’t mean she couldn’t see or acknowledge what was aesthetically pleasant. “Ryo’s is nicer,” she added as an afterthought.
Just because Ryo wasn’t her type didn’t mean Shin couldn’t see how cute the other girl was. Her eyes, especially, were mesmerizing – and Shin really meant it about Ryo’s backside.
“Hmm, I suppose it is, if you’re into girls,” Shuu hummed. “Maybe her ass is the real reason Shuten decided to reconsider being an evil jerk?” he considered aloud.
Shin promptly threw her pillow at him. “Don’t joke about it,” she warned. They weren’t sure what had happened to Shuten after they had broken out of Arago’s body, nor did they know what had happened to the Masho but right now, Shin was happier NOT thinking about any of them. Once she was rested, her nerves soothed and Ryo’s health improved, then they’d discuss the issues and she’d untangle the mixed feelings she had about the jerkass foursome.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Shuu swore, putting a hand over his heart.
“Good,” the Suiko bearer nodded. “So, you were saying Seiji caught you ogling him? And he didn’t kill you on the spot?”
Shuu chuckled. “Yeah, that surprised me too, but he took things very calmly, much to my surprise. I was so horrified I had gotten caught and so sure he was going to rip me a new one, verbally or physically, but he didn’t,” Shuu added, flopping over the mattress of his bed. “He just finished dressing and asked me a couple of questions and well… we talked. He’s a good guy – even if he has a stick up his ass half the time,” he rolled his eyes playfully.
“He is,” Shin kept grinning, though she was mostly joking. Seiji’s manners and show of curtesy were endearing and did a lot to reassure her. “Do you think he’s gay, too?” she couldn’t help but ask curiously.
“Hmm, I think he swings both ways, actually,” Shuu mused aloud, stroking his chin. “I mean, he’s definitely eyeing Ryo like someone with a crush would, but the way he can get touchy-feely with Touma when the two banter is at odd with his usual manners, so he may feel something for him too.”
“I could see it, yes,” Shin admitted as leaned back, thinking about all the personal interactions she had witnessed or participated in with her fellow Troopers – her friends. “Touma?” she questioned, making Shuu snort.
“So lacking in interest in anything related to sex that he may not have any idea of what sexuality is,” Shuu informed her blandly as Shin chortled. “I don’t think he’s interested at all in the question, unless it’s to tease others or stare at them as if they are fascinating specimens. If he knows I’m gay, it makes it all the more ironic, but I suppose it’s one of life’s big mysteries. Now I think about it,” he added as an afterthought, “Ryo might be the only one in our group who is one-hundred-percents straight – her and Nasutei, of course.”
“Should I ask how you reached that conclusion about Touma?” Shin couldn’t help but shake her head in amusement. She didn’t think Shuu had it wrong – even if he tended to rush into fights rather than hang back and think about strategies, Shuu wasn’t an idiot. Of the Troopers, he was probably the one who understood people the best.
“Attempts at male bonding that got sidetracked, and that’s all I’ll ever say about it!” Shuu warned immediately, making Shin laugh harder than before.
“Fine, fine, keep your secret,” she said as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye before looking around the room again.
Her new room. THEIR room. The one she was going to share with a friend. A male friend. A male, GAY friend. A male, gay friend she could be open about with her own sexuality, without a risk of being judged for it, told she was wrong and disgusting.
That, Shin decided with a nod, she could work with.
“So, what do you say, Shin-chan? Any problem sharing your space with a gay ‘brother’?” Shuu asked, rolling on his side and putting his chin in his hand as he winked at her.
“So long you do not mind sharing with a lesbian ‘older sister’, none whatsoever,” she replied with a wink of her own.
“Oh, no, no, no, you aren’t pulling the ‘big sister’ card on me!” Shuu proclaimed in mock anger. “I do not need one!”
“Too bad,” Shin huffed, “because you got one now!”
And as she ducked the pillow Shuu sent back at her, Shin thought that it was a role she was going to enjoy.