Work Text:
There was a soft knock at the bedroom door. “Lady Violet? Are you in there?”
Violet opened her eyes. It took her a moment to remember where she was. The Fire Nation palace. She was going to live here now. That was a strange thought.
She smiled when she saw Alberto lying next to her, still asleep. His curly brown hair spilling onto the pillow, a small puddle of drool by his mouth. He looked so peaceful. They hadn’t planned on falling asleep in here, but it had been a long day. A long week.
They’d helped end the war between nations, and finally confirmed their feelings for each other. Everything was perfect.
“Lady Violet?”
“Sorry. Yeah, I’m here.”
“The coronation feast begins soon.”
“Thanks,” Violet called. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
She sat up and stretched. Alberto stirred and opened his eyes. He smiled sleepily up at her. His hair was a mess. She reached out and ran her fingers through his tight curls.
He sighed contentedly and leaned into her touch. “That feels nice.”
Then her fingers brushed his scalp, and he was suddenly overwhelmed by a vivid memory. Pale, wrinkled fingers stroking his head, long nails in his hair. A raspy voice whispering to him.
There, there. You’ve been hurt by the world, I can tell.
Moira. His breath caught in his throat. She’d preyed on his emotions and groomed him to become a bloodbender. Nearly turning him into an irredeemable monster.
There, there.
Those words had been so comforting then. A confirmation that she saw him and understood his pain. Now he could see that it was all just to manipulate him, to take advantage of his pain to make him easier to control.
He jerked away from Violet and sat up. Violet stared at him, her hand frozen in the air. “Are you okay?” The panic in his eyes alarmed her.
“Huh?” He blinked at her, his eyes focusing on her again. “Yeah. Sorry.”
She withdrew her hand. “I’m sorry if I—”
“No,” he said quickly. “You didn’t do anything. Sorry.”
She looked at him in concern. Alberto brushed his hair back and looked away, embarrassed that he’d ruined the moment by being weird. They’d been so physically vulnerable with each other just a few hours ago, and now he was shutting down emotionally. But he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it. He couldn’t even bear to think about it.
Violet cleared her throat awkwardly. “Well, we should get ready.”
“For what?”
“The coronation feast,” Violet said.
Alberto hesitated. On one hand, that sounded amazing. He hadn’t really eaten in days, ever since they'd gone to see the Ember Island Play. Just a few bites of rice here and there. He was starving. But on the other hand, food didn’t really appeal to him anymore. Not after what Moira had done to him…
His stomach clenched as he thought of the play that had revealed the truth, in front of dozens of people. The play had misrepresented a lot of events in their lives, but it had revealed one truth: Moira—the one he’d trusted, the one who had presented herself as someone who cared about him and would take care of him—had been feeding him human meat without his knowledge or consent. He remembered his visceral reaction to finding out.
He nearly didn’t make it out the door. He bent over and emptied his stomach. Knowing that it was too late, that it wouldn’t remove the poison he’d ingested weeks ago.
His head swam as he remembered every single meal Moira had fed him. He’d stayed with her for weeks. He began shaking violently as the weight of what he’d done struck him with full force.
He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even breathe. He felt dirty, and wrong, and he wanted to crawl out of his skin.
Alberto’s stomach growled, snapping him out of it. He supposed he could give the feast a try. Violet wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him. Nobody here was trying to trick him or harm him for any reason. It should be safe, right?
He followed her into the dining room. Sullivan, the newly-coronated Firelord, sat at the head of the table. Next to him was Prince Dash, Violet’s brother.
The smell of cooked meat hit Alberto’s nose, immediately making him feel sick. Violet looked at him and squeezed his hand, and he realized he was shaking.
“Are you okay?” Violet whispered.
He nodded shakily. “Fine, I’m fine.” He told himself to stop. He was being ridiculous. There was no danger here, no reason to be so afraid.
Alberto’s best friend Luca saw them and waved them over. They sat next to him.
“Hey, are you all right, Alberto?” Luca asked.
“I’m fine,” Alberto said, a little more harshly than he’d intended. He really didn’t want to talk about it. He just wanted to get through this, and prove to himself that he was okay.
The servants brought out the first course. Violet had a salad, since airbenders were vegetarians. Everyone else had some sort of grilled meat. The others dug in right away, but Alberto just stared at the slab of meat, dread and uncertainty settling over him.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice rising a little with panic.
“Chicken,” Luca said.
Chicken. That was what he’d assumed Moira was feeding him. How did he know it was really what they said it was? He looked around at everyone eating. How did they know it was really chicken? How could they trust so easily, not giving a second thought to what they were putting in their bodies?
Luca looked at him. “Aren’t you hungry, Alberto?” They'd all gotten thinner and malnourished over their journey, but he’d especially noticed it in Alberto the past few days. He wanted Alberto to eat and get healthy and strong after everything he’d been through. Part of it was for a selfish reason. He was going to leave for the North Pole in a week, leaving Alberto behind in the Fire Nation, and he wanted to know his friend was okay before he went.
Alberto picked up his fork and stuck it into the meat. The feel and sound of the fork sliding into it made his stomach turn. He felt hot and cold at the same time.
It’s fine. Everything is fine. Why are you being so stupid?
With shaking hands, he slowly brought the fork to his mouth. He could see the walls trying to close in on him, but he tried to ignore it. He just had to get through this, and then he’d see that there was nothing to be worried about.
The smell of the meat triggered his gag reflex, telling him to purge everything in case it was tainted. His vision swam. He threw the fork down and stood up. He ran out of the room, trying his hardest not to throw up.
“Alberto!” Luca and Violet pushed their chairs back and ran after him.
They found him crouching down in the hallway, trembling violently, his face pressed into his knees. Violet looked at Luca helplessly. She didn’t know what to do.
Luca sat down next to Alberto. He hesitantly put his hand on Alberto’s shoulder. Alberto didn’t look up.
“Is it…Moira?” Luca guessed, so Alberto wouldn’t have to say it.
Alberto nodded.
Violet stared at him in horror. She wasn’t fully aware of the depths of Moira’s manipulation, since Alberto had never talked about it. But she did know about the cannibalism; it just hadn’t occurred to her how much that would affect his relationship with food.
She knelt down to speak to Alberto. “We don’t have to go back in there, if you’re not comfortable.”
Alberto relaxed a little. “Okay.”
Luca and Violet spent the rest of the night just talking to him. He didn’t say much, but they could tell their company was helping him.
That night, he couldn’t sleep. He wanted to toss and turn, but he didn’t want to wake Violet. So he just lay there, letting his dark thoughts consume him.
All he could see was Moira’s evil yet motherly eyes, staring into his soul. He could hear her voice, switching between words of encouragement and support one second, and guilt-tripping and cruelty the next. He could see her putting a plate of grey meat in front of him, and he could hear her saying words of faux concern.
Eat up. A growing boy like you needs his strength.
Why? Why had she done this to him? How could she do that to a child, especially one she knew was hurting?
He sat up as he realized that he could ask her. She was in a Fire Nation prison. It couldn’t be too far away.
He got out of bed, careful not to wake Violet. He looked down at her for a moment. He felt bad not telling her what he was doing, but he didn’t need to drag her into his problems. He kissed Violet’s cheek and slipped out of the room.
He left the palace and started walking down the street. His heart was racing, but he couldn’t lose his nerve. He had to do this. He had to get answers.
“Alberto!”
He turned. Violet and Luca ran over.
“Where are you going, Alberto?” Luca asked, his eyes wide with fear. Alberto had run away before. Luca didn’t want to lose him again.
Alberto took a deep breath. “I’m…going to see Moira.”
They stared at him like he was crazy. “What?!”
“Don’t try to talk me out of it,” Alberto said.
“Why do you want to see her?” Luca whispered.
“Because I need to know why,” Alberto said. “Why she…did what she did.”
“She’s an evil witch,” Violet said. “What else do you want to know?”
“I don’t know,” Alberto admitted. “But I just need to see her.”
Luca and Violet looked at each other, then back at Alberto. There was a long silence.
“All right,” Luca said finally. “But we’re coming with you.”
Violet nodded. She didn’t want him facing Moira alone.
Luca was afraid Alberto would fight them on this. But to his relief, Alberto just nodded. “Okay.”
They walked in nervous silence. Luca looked up at the moon. At least it wasn’t a full moon, so Moira wouldn’t be at her full power. But maybe she wouldn’t need it, if her manipulative words were enough.
The prison came into view. A large metal building, looming over them, sharp and ominous. They stopped to stare at it for a moment.
“Are you sure about this, Alberto?” Luca asked. He put his hand on Alberto’s arm. “It’s okay if you’re not in the place to confront this right now…”
“No, I have to do this,” Alberto said. “I’ll be fine, Luca.” He had a home now, and friends who cared about him. He wasn’t in the same place he was when he met Moira. It would be impossible for her to manipulate him again.
Luca wasn’t sure about this. But it wasn’t his decision to make.
“You guys wait for me here,” Alberto said. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Alone?” Violet said.
He nodded. He didn’t want them to get hurt. The last time Moira had seen them, she’d bloodbended them both and tried to kill Luca. Besides, he wanted to do this alone. To prove either to himself or to her that he was strong enough, that he was so self-assured that he could never fall under her influence again.
Luca bit his nails nervously. “Well, okay. Be careful.”
“We’ll be here, whatever happens,” Violet added.
Alberto walked in and spoke to a guard. “I’m here to visit someone.”
The guard checked him for weapons, then pointed him in the right direction to Moira’s cell.
Alberto walked down the hallway, his heart pounding. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting from this conversation. An apology? A small glimmer of something that showed she’d ever sort of cared for him? Confirmation that she’d used him? He already knew that. Was he hoping she’d acknowledge how damaging her influence had been? What would that accomplish, since damaging him was always her goal?
Before he could really answer this, he reached her cell. And there she was. Chained up, her head hanging in defeat. Just like she had been years ago, which was what had fueled her to hate the Fire Nation and learn bloodbending. He almost felt sorry for her, until she looked up and saw him. A twisted smile spread across her face.
“Alberto.”
Hearing his name fall out of her mouth sent a chill down his spine. It made him feel like he was back in her cottage in the woods. Like she still had control over him, even though he knew she didn’t.
He took a deep breath. Things were different now. He was the one with all the power here.
He crossed his arms, trying to look intimidating. “Moira.”
“What brings you here, apprentice?”
He grit his teeth. “I’m not your apprentice. Not anymore.”
“So why are you here? To beg for my forgiveness?”
Alberto stared at her. “Your forgiveness?”
“For betraying me and leaving me here to rot in this prison. I mean, it’s such a shame, Alberto.” Her words were dripping with quiet disappointment. “That you would turn on me, the one person who ever cared for you. Just to prove your loyalty to someone who’s going to abandon you like everyone else.”
Alberto shook his head. “You’re wrong. Luca cares about me more than you ever did.”
“So he isn’t leaving for the North Pole then?”
“I mean…he is, but I’m fine with that,” Alberto said. “And that’s not why I’m here. I came to ask you something.”
She raised an eyebrow at him, inviting him to continue.
“Why…” Alberto faltered. He’d never acknowledged it out loud, and he wasn’t sure if he could. Besides, what would Moira think? He’d just look pathetic, begging her for closure she had no reason to give him.
He found himself looking at her face as he tried to think of what to say next. It was hard to believe that he’d seen her as a mother figure once. And yet, at the same time, it wasn’t that hard to believe. She was a monster, but she was the one who had acknowledged him when he needed it most. She’d given him a home, food, a bed, comfort…as twisted as it all had been, no one else had ever come close to being as nurturing.
That thought hit him like a boulder. His abuser was still the only adult figure who had ever treated him as if she cared. The only love he’d ever felt wasn’t even real. How pathetic was that?
And in those first few weeks with her, he really had felt loved in a way he never had before. Now a deep sense of guilt was starting to gnaw at him. He knew she was evil, but it was true that she’d shown him what he thought at the time was kindness when nobody else had. In her eyes, he really must look so ungrateful.
Moira waved her hand, and he realized he was crying as she bended away his tears. “Don’t cry, my little apprentice. Everything’s all right.”
Even now, her tone had a terrifyingly calming effect on him. It was a parental warmth he had never experienced from anyone else. Luca and Violet cared for him deeply, but they couldn’t replace this feeling, this particular love that he craved. He wanted to crawl into her arms and hear her say he didn’t need to worry, that she would take care of him.
He covered his ears to block her out. “Stop it! I’m not here to listen to this.” He glared at her. “I want to talk about what you did.”
“What I did?” she said with fake innocence.
“You fed me…your victims.” He could hardly get the sentence out. “Why? What did you get out of doing that?” The emotional manipulation, the guilt-tripping, all of that he understood. But feeding him tainted food, when she knew he depended on her and trusted her to provide for him, just seemed like unnecessary cruelty.
Moira smiled slowly, a twisted smirk that made his heart sink. “It ensured you could never be innocent again. No matter what happened from that point on, you were complicit in a crime, even if you didn’t know it, and that would always bond us in my mind. Plus, I was already cooking and eating them myself. It’s a great way to hide the evidence.”
Alberto wanted to throw up. The way she talked about it so casually was chilling and nauseating.
“It’s not so much worse than bloodbending, is it?” Moira said. “It’s just a way of taking control of someone else’s body, to use it for your own ends.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Perhaps, after I’d warped you enough that it wouldn’t bother you. Or if you questioned me, and then I might have told you so you’d feel too dirty and ashamed to go back to civilized society.”
Alberto began to shake with barely-contained rage. She took such glee in the corruption of a child who already couldn’t trust people. He’d given himself to her completely in a time of vulnerability and she’d betrayed his trust.
“And now that you know, you’ll never be without my influence. You may not be my apprentice anymore, but no matter how far you run from me, I’ll always be with you. Every time you so much as eat, or accept kindness from a stranger, you’ll think of me!” Moira laughed.
He trembled violently as he realized it was true. He’d never be free from what she’d done to him. He was forever tied to her whether he liked it or not. All without his consent, without his knowledge, against his will.
Before he even realized what he was doing, he put his hand out and bloodbended her, jerking her head sharply. She gasped.
“That’s right,” Alberto said savagely. “I can bloodbend without the full moon. I’m stronger than you, Moira! So don’t fuck with me!” He wasn’t sure what he was trying to prove here. Maybe that he had surpassed her, that he wasn’t the weak and scared little boy she’d met in the woods. Or maybe he just wanted her to know how it felt to be manipulated by someone else.
She looked at him, and the complete lack of fear in her eyes shook him. She seemed to be taunting him, daring him to harm her.
“You may have more power than me, but you don’t have the guts to use it,” Moira said. “You always backed away from true strength. Like a coward!”
“I’m not a coward!” Alberto snapped. It wasn’t cowardly to have morals.
“Prove it!” she spat.
“I—I don’t have to prove anything to you.” His voice was shaking.
“That’s what cowards say,” Moira scoffed. “Because they know they’re pathetic and useless, and they can’t do it.”
These words seemed to cut him to his core. Not because he believed her, but because she knew how deep those insecurities ran for him. And she was weaponizing them on purpose.
His hands shook as he fought the urge to prove her wrong. He could make her snap her own neck, right here, right now. He desperately wanted to. But that would just make him the vengeful monster she’d tried so hard to turn him into.
He let his hands drop.
She laughed. “I knew you couldn’t do it. Maybe it’s for the best that you’re not my apprentice anymore. You were always too weak to be of any real use to me.”
That was the true Moira. The one who turned to insults and mockery as soon as he pushed back. That was all he’d ever get from confronting her.
He turned and left without another word. Luca was right. He never should have come here.
“How did it go?” Luca asked anxiously as Alberto left the prison.
Alberto didn’t reply, which gave Luca his answer. He just stared at the ground, his arms wrapped tightly around his body.
“Did she hurt you at all?” Violet asked.
Alberto shook his head.
“Did you do anything to her?” Luca asked, afraid that Alberto had snapped and killed her. He’d come awfully close the last time they’d seen her.
“No. I thought about it. But I didn’t.”
Luca felt a rush of relief. “Good.”
They silently walked home. None of them knew what to say, so they didn’t speak.
Alberto lowered his head as he walked, Moira’s words rattling around in his mind.
It ensured you could never be innocent again.
You’d feel too dirty and ashamed to go back to civilized society.
Every time you so much as eat, or accept kindness from a stranger, you’ll think of me!
Luca looked at Alberto. It hurt him to see his friend look so utterly broken down. But he didn’t know what to do about it.
When they returned to the palace, Alberto immediately went back to the bedroom and curled up on the bed. He looked so drained and shaken. Violet looked at him, wishing she knew how to make things better. Her instinct was to give him physical comfort, like a hug, but she was afraid of hurting him.
It terrified her that she didn’t know what Moira had said to him that had caused this. She didn’t want to press him about it, since she knew that wasn’t what he needed right now. But she couldn’t let him just sit with it alone either.
“Hey,” she said quietly. “If you need anything, I’m here. I just…want you to know that.”
He glanced at her, then looked away. He curled up even more, tightening and withdrawing further. A pang went through her chest. She wanted to help him so badly, but she felt like she was only making it worse.
Alberto turned away so she wouldn’t see his face. He knew she just wanted to help, and he hated himself for pushing her away. But he knew he couldn’t be fixed, no matter what she or Luca did for him. He would just be wasting their time or dragging them down with him, and he didn’t want to do that.
Eventually, he fell into a fitful sleep. Violet didn’t sleep at all. She stayed awake all night, just watching him. She wanted to be there if he woke up. In case he needed her.
In his own room, Luca stared up at the ceiling, mulling over the problem in front of him. He knew he was out of his depth here, and so was Violet. Alberto needed someone to talk to, someone wise who would listen and give good advice, but who?
Then it struck him. He knew the perfect person to go to.
The next morning, Luca took Alberto on a trip to the Earth Kingdom. Specifically, Ba Sing Se, to a tea shop called the Jasmine Dragon.
Alberto tensed when he saw the restaurant. “Luca, I don’t want to be here.”
“I won’t make you eat anything,” Luca promised. “There’s someone in there I want you to meet.”
The bell rang as they walked in. Alberto looked around. The music was calming. The tea cups were pretty. But the smell of food was making him sick. He wanted to turn and run away before he threw up all over the wooden floorboards.
He knew he could just leave. Luca wouldn’t judge him or force him to do this. But they’d come all this way, so it would be ungrateful of him not to stay. And even if he knew it wouldn’t help, some small part of him must be desperate enough to try.
Luca waved at someone. “Iroh!”
An old man walked over. He had a white beard and kind eyes. Alberto recognized him from the play. He’d only been in one scene, where Luca went to him for advice after fighting with Alberto.
“Iroh, this is Alberto,” Luca said.
Alberto looked at Iroh nervously. Luca had spoken to Iroh when he was angry at Alberto, so Iroh probably didn’t have a very high opinion of him.
Iroh smiled. “It’s a pleasure, Alberto.” He looked at Luca. “So I see you two have resolved your issues.”
“Yes,” Luca beamed. He put his arm around Alberto. “But now he really needs some advice. I thought you could help.”
“What is it, young one?”
Alberto sighed. He didn’t know how to explain this to a stranger. He really didn’t feel like admitting to this sweet old man (and a whole restaurant full of people) that he’d unintentionally become a cannibal.
Iroh sat them down at a table. “How about we get some tea, and—”
Alberto slammed his fist on the table. “No!”
Everyone looked at them. Alberto swallowed and looked away.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Iroh said gently.
Alberto sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I…don’t know what to do. I was in a bad place recently, and I met this person who I thought I could trust. She really acted like she cared about me. But she was just using me.” He looked down, struggling to find the words. “She turned me into an awful person. I did some things I never wanted to do, but I did them and I can’t take them back. Now I can’t trust anyone, or anything.” He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. “And all I see are reminders, and I don’t know how to go on with my life.”
“Have you forgiven yourself?” Iroh asked.
Alberto looked at him, taken aback. “What?”
“I sense that your conscience is very heavy,” Iroh said. “Lifting that burden is the first step to finding peace. After all, if you’re not at peace with yourself, how can you be at peace with the world? You’ve clearly achieved forgiveness and understanding from your friend here.” He gestured at Luca, who nodded. “Why can’t you give that to yourself?”
“Because why should I?” Alberto said, a little irritated. This wasn’t what he’d come here to talk about. “I don’t deserve it, after everything I did.”
“I’m sure that isn’t true.”
“What do you know?” Alberto snapped. “I didn’t tell you the details. I hurt people. I enjoyed it.” Surely that would show Iroh just how terrible and irredeemable he was, and that would make him stop pretending Alberto was worth forgiveness. “I almost became a heartless monster.”
“And yet, you didn’t. And that’s worth celebrating,” Iroh said.
Alberto had never looked at it that way. The fact that he’d started down that dark path at all made him think he was irredeemable. And wasn’t that still true? Was regretting a bad decision really redemption?
“I may not know all the details. But from what you’ve told me, I know that you were in a bad place when you met this person,” Iroh said. “And I know people in that situation are vulnerable and not truly themselves.”
Alberto shifted uncomfortably. Iroh’s kindness was making him uneasy. This had to be some sort of trick. Nobody was that patient and understanding, not even Luca.
“I wouldn’t have been able to be manipulated by her unless I was actually a bad person,” he reasoned. “Right? I mean, it wouldn’t have worked on Luca or anyone else I know. But it worked on me because I’m just…a bad kid.”
“That’s not true, Alberto,” Luca said. “You were angry and hurt. And she knew that. I’m sure she would have found a way to manipulate me, too.” He sensed she would have pinpointed his weaknesses immediately and used them against him just as easily.
Iroh looked back and forth between them, then said, “Alberto, what would you say if your friend here was in your position? If he was the one seeking forgiveness?”
“What do you mean?”
“Would you say it was his fault?” Iroh asked.
“No,” Alberto said immediately.
“And why not?”
“He’s just a kid,” Alberto said. “And he was lost and scared, and she gave him food and shelter he needed so of course he was going to stay with her. Where else was he supposed to go? And she purposely preyed on his emotions to make him easier to control, so I wouldn’t hold that against him either. And as for…some of the other stuff, he didn’t even know about it at the time, so how could he be at fault?”
“Would you say he was a monster?” Iroh asked.
“Of course not. But I don’t see what that has to do with—”
Alberto faltered. Iroh smiled.
“That’s different,” Alberto insisted.
“Is it?”
Alberto stammered something incoherent, then fell silent.
“We often give our friends so much patience and sympathy but forget to give ourselves the same grace,” Iroh said.
For some reason, this made Alberto want to cry. He couldn’t imagine ever treating Luca with the same vitriol he gave himself sometimes.
He looked down at the table and changed the subject. “So what do I do now? How do I move on and just get over this?”
“Healing is a journey, not just a destination,” Iroh said. “It’s filled with ups and downs, and challenges, and side paths that may take you off the main road for a time. Trying to view it as a race or a place to get to will only hinder your journey.”
“Oh,” Alberto said, disappointed.
“That doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” Iroh said.
“But it’s not useful!” Alberto cried. “I mean, what am I supposed to do now?”
“That, my friend, is up to you,” Iroh said. “Time will help heal your wounds, but what to do with that time? I find good friends, good tea, and some pai sho is the best distraction, but everyone is different.”
Alberto thought about this, then nodded. “Okay.” It wasn’t the immediate cure he’d been looking for, but it was probably a lot more realistic. And in some ways, it was a relief to hear. He wasn’t broken because he couldn’t get over it already. This was a normal part of the healing process.
He paused, fidgeting with his hands. “Thank you.”
“Any time,” Iroh said. “Are you sure you boys don’t want any tea? Or some tea cakes?”
“No, that’s okay,” Alberto said, although that did sound sort of good. He was sure Iroh wasn’t poisoning his customers with human remains, but he still couldn’t accept food from a stranger. Not yet.
Alberto and Luca left the tea shop.
“Do you feel a little bit better now?” Luca asked hopefully.
Alberto nodded. “I think so. Thanks, Luca.”
They got into the airship waiting for them outside, and began the trip back to the Fire Nation. Iroh’s words echoed through Alberto’s head.
We often give our friends so much patience and sympathy but forget to give ourselves the same grace.
He tried to look at his situation from the outside. What if it weren’t him, or someone he cared about like Luca? What if it was just a random stranger?
He still wouldn’t say they were a monster. He could see that they were scared and vulnerable, which made them easier to manipulate. They didn’t know real love, so how could they be blamed for not seeing how twisted Moira and her “love” were?
Maybe Iroh was right, and he wasn’t being fair to himself. He felt lighter at this realization. He still didn’t know if he’d be able to truly forgive himself. But now he was open to the idea that maybe he didn’t deserve all his self-hatred and self-punishment.
They returned to the palace. Violet immediately ran over to meet them.
“How did it go?” she asked, scanning Alberto’s face for signs of distress or pain.
“Good,” Alberto said, to her relief. “It’s gonna take time. But…I think I can be okay.”
A huge smile broke out over her face. “I’m glad to hear it.” She’d really feared his meeting with Moira had completely broken him.
Alberto looked at Luca and Violet. “Hey, guys…thank you. For worrying about me, and helping me through all this.” It touched him how deeply they cared. It confirmed once and for all that Moira was wrong. That the voice in his head telling him he would always be alone and unloved was wrong.
“Of course,” Luca said.
He put out his arms, inviting Alberto in but not forcing anything on him. Alberto hugged him and pulled Violet in, too. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, but for the first time in a while, they were happy tears.
Alberto’s stomach growled. He grimaced. It was starting to get painful how hungry he was.
“You really should try eating something,” Luca said gently. “If you want to.”
“I don’t know…” He still couldn’t even think of food without feeling sick.
“If it's meat that’s the problem, maybe you should try going vegetarian,” Violet suggested.
Alberto thought about this. That had never occurred to him. “Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.” It would be much easier to convince himself that it wasn’t tainted. But still, how could he know for sure? Even non-meat felt dangerous right now.
“If you wanted, we could cook our own food,” Violet offered. “So you’ll know what’s in it.”
We. She wasn’t going to leave him in this alone. He felt an immense sense of relief. There was an actual solution he could try, instead of just trying to avoid or overcome his pain. And he wouldn't have to do it by himself.
“That sounds great. Thanks, Violet.”
“I can teach you my mom’s recipe for tofu and rice,” Violet said. “It’s really good. I’ll warn you, I haven’t ever actually made it, though. I just watched her do it.”
He grinned at her. “So it’ll be new for both of us.”
She smiled back, relieved to see a glimmer of that old Alberto again. She took his hand, entwining their fingers. “We’ll figure it out as we go.”