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Shuichi has always had a bit of… clumsy fingers. Whenever he worked his magic doing detective work, it was mostly in his brain. It was due to that reason he never really was the best with his hand eye coordination, even when he was training with Kaito and Maki, he would always slip up sometimes and trip. Even when he was little, when his uncle urged him to play baseball, Shuichi could’ve won the trophy for ‘‘catching everything but the ball.”
Of course, he felt self councious about it. How could you not? Especially when your girlfriend was the ultimate pianist, compared to his own hands, it added to his already weak self esteem. On bad days, he felt horrible about it, his fingers, his face, it was just an adding list. On good days, his mind just acknowledged he was a bit clumsy, nothing more.
Today, Shuichi woke up with his face buried in his girlfriends chest. She was fast asleep, her hands on Shuichi’s hair and her blonde hair around her face as if to frame her beautiful body more. The detective blushed and buried his face in his girlfriends fuzzy My Little Pony pajamas. It was such a blessing to wake up on top of a literal angel, bonus points for the angels chest.
She was so beautiful.
“Mhh…” Kaede mumbled, stretching and staring down at her boyfriend. She opened her eyes, violet ones staring down at yellow gray. A smile formed on her face once more. “Morning.” Her voice was gruff, but Shuichi wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Hi.” The detective leaned up to nuzzle the others nose, soon following with their foreheads touching. Shuichi stared at the others eyes again, wondering the thought he thinks whenever he lays eyes on her.
How can someone be so… pretty?
And… why can’t he be like that?
His smile faded a bit as he looked at her facial features. Her perfect lips, big eyes, cute nose… he wouldn’t really ever be like that. His goal was to never be a handsome man, more so a pretty one. He enjoyed wearing dresses and skirts, and Kaede knew that (of course she did). He was secure enough in his masculinity to know that he could be handsome and pretty, but lately his femininity felt… insecure.
Her hair, her jawline, and her… her fingers. Her everything. She was so… amazing.
“Shuichi? Are you okay? You’re crying…” she frowned and put her hand on his cheek, wiping away the tear that fell down his face. Shuichi sniffled and buried his face in her chest again.
“…sorry.” He mumbled against Rainbow Dash, the fuzzy creature staring up at him. His girlfriend sighed and stroked his cheek some more.
“Why are you sorry?” Kaede wondered. She lifted his face up, kissing his eyes, his tears, and his everything. Shuichi looked to the side and sighed, “I…I dunno. I’m… im… Kaede, do you think im ugly?” He blurted out, watching as his girlfriend’s eyes widened into a scowl.
She pouted, shaking her head. “No! You’re amazing! You’re pretty, and beautiful, and you’re so cute and-“ she stopped herself, looking at his eyes. It had that sparkle of insecurity. That sparkle of doubt. That sparkle Kaede *hated*.
“…you know I never lie to you.” She whispered, sighing. Shuichi nodded, looking up at her as he rested his face on her chest, looking like the cutest black cat ever.
“…and belive me when I tell you.” Kaede brought his face closer to her. “You’re beautiful.”
Shuichi nodded. “…you’re beautiful too.” Maybe it was the tone in his voice, or the way he looked up at her when he said it, or was it the look in his eyes that gave it away? Any other way Kaede scrunched her eyebrows.
“You’re…”
“I’m jealous.” Shuichi sighed, looking to the side. “I know. I feel horrible, knowing that you’re so amazing, and I look… so… so *me*. I hate that im jealous of you becuase it makes me selfish, and then I feel selfish for wanting you. I know im secure in my gender enough to know im a man, I know that. But… Kaede- I love you. You’re so amazing- I just feel… you’re so… out of my league. You have such pretty fingers, such pretty cheekbones, you look amazing in skirts and I just look so…” his voice trailed off as his rant stopped. It felt good and bad to get it all out of his brain, like throwing up spiders that fizzle around him slowly, seeping into the aftermath.
Kaede stared dumbstruck. At first, he was sure she was going to get mad, or hurt. But when her eyebrows scrunched, arching in concern, he knew he was way off. She huffed and hugged Shuichi, squeezing him tightly as she could.
“I wish you could see how I saw you.” She whispered. “You don’t feel pretty? I’ll buy you all the dresses in the world until you smile. I’ll do your makeup every day until my hands fall off. I’ll call you by any name or pronoun becuase I want you to be happy.” She pulled back, sitting herself and Shuichi up to where they were sitting on their bed. She put a hand on his cheek, stroking it gently. “I wish you could see how beautiful you are in my eyes.” She smiled.
Shuichi felt tears prick his eyes, putting his hand on hers. The words sunk into his brain. He was understood. He was understood by the most understanding and amazing woman in the world. “…I.. thank you, Kaede. I mean it.” He sniffled and leaned in to kiss her, where she happily reciprocated with such love and tenderness, Shuichi wondered if it was humanely possible to feel this much love inside his body.
The two pulled back, and Kaede chuckled. Staring at her boyfriend with a sly look. “…can I show you how beautiful you are?”
***
And so, Shuichi was in front of the mirror, in his girlfriends skirt and clothes, wearing makeup she applied herself. His mascara made his eyes pop, and his foundation removed any insecurity involving his jawline. His lipstick was pink, as bright and colorful as the skirt he was wearing. He knew how to do his eyeliner, and (not to brag) his skills were admittedly better than Kaede’s, sometimes he even did it for her.
A look in the mirror, at the skirt on him, at the top on him, and he was secure enough to smile at himself.
He looked pretty.
Although the small nabbing topic of labels and gender came up inside of his head, yelling at him that this wasn’t what a man did, he blocked it out when Kaede came into the room, smiling ear to ear.
“Oh shu… you look beautiful…” she giggled and kissed his neck. “Really… you’re so pretty…” she whispered in his ear, wrapping her hands around his as their fingers intertwined. The male smiled, leaning against the pianist's touch as he stroked her fingers, memorizing every crevice in her hand.
“Thank you, Kaede.” He looked at her through the mirror. “Thank you for all this, thank you for understanding, and thank you so very much for taking your time out of the morning for all this.” He muttered with a flush of his face.
“No problem!” She chirped, smiling as she giggled. “Although… we aren’t done yet…”
Shuichi was going to ask what she meant, but the second he felt her hands going up into his (hers?) skirt, the idea flashed into his mind. Kaede winked at him, and next thing he knew he was being tackled onto the bed, her fingers intertwining with his.