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First Time

Summary:

Lucifer takes Diavolo and Barbatos out to an all you can eat buffet restaurant that isn't upscale for the first time in their lives.. unfortunately, Lucifer has to leave early to help Mammon and the two left soon become competitive...

Work Text:

It is 5:45PM... Diavolo and Barbatos are just finishing up getting ready for a reservation at Devil Buffet for 6 o'clock... 

'Right, Young Master, where is Lucifer taking us to again?'

'One of those buffet restaurants with all the food touching eachother and with questionable expiration dates...'

Barbatos immediately screws his face up when he hears that description.

'is he trying to give us food poisoning?!'

'Barbatos, give it a chance... Lucifer says he's eaten there may times before and the food's amazing...'

'well then... I guess I will have to wait and see...'

HONK HONK

They look out of the window, and Lucifer's car is parked outside, waiting for the two royals to come outside

'Ooh! That's him! Barbatos, come on!'

'I'm coming young master!'

They quickly make their way outside and into the car.

'hey handsome~'

'heyyyy~'

'hey! I thought I was the handsome one!'

'oh quiet Barbatos!'

':('

'*sigh*... Fine... Come here Handsome'

Diavolo ruffles Barbatos hair, much to his dismay..

'I styled that all nice for our evening dinner...'

He tries to swat Diavolo's hands away, but fails

'well too bad! You're just so charming and adorable and.. dare I say... Cute...'

'DO NOT CALL ME CUTE!'

'hehe~'

'>:('

'You two, enough of that, strap yourselves in!'

Barbatos gladly puts on his seatbelt.. Diavolo however...

'oh please, I don't need a seatbelt! I'm the king of the Devildom and-'

'put. A. Bloody. Seat belt. On. Young Master.'

'*sigh*.. fine....'

Diavolo puts a seatbelt on.

They eventually make it to their destination, getting seated and looking at the drinks menu. However, Mammon's suffered a slight medical mishap so unfortunately Lucifer needs to leave.. Barbatos offers to leave too to come and help, as he has extensive first aid training, but Lucifer says that's it's alright and that he'll just take Mammon to the community hospital to let Barbatos enjoy his dinner.

'Well cheerio Lucifer! Until we meet again!'

'Good riddance bastard!'

'Young Master! That is not how you speak to put Boyfriend- u-umm Associate..'

'of course.. that is not how we speak to our very suspiciously romantic associate...'

'oh quiet you!'

'Right..'

Diavolo picks up the drinks menu and looks over it.. cola, fizzy lemonade, orange soda, milkshakes, coffee and tea, water, sparkling water.. ooh, free refills for everything but the milkshakes! Woohoo!

'hmm... I'll just have a diet cola..'

'I'll get the same thing since I do not really trust the tea here.. they probably use bags.. *shudders*…'

GROOOWWWLLLL

Diavolo chuckles and rubs his stomach playfully..

'Jeez.. I'm famished..'

'*sigh*.. your gluttony has been awakened by all the enticing scents-'

GRRRRROOWLLL

'o-oh... It seems mine has too...'

Barbatos looks quite sheepish, embarrassed at his display of his seemingly lacking self control....

'Right Then, let's go get our food, shall we?'

'oh of course young master! Because why else are we bloody here, to play backgammon?!'

'Shush Barbatos!'

They head up to the food counters and loads their plates with whatever they find... Noodles, prawns, chicken, gyoza, spring rolls, pizza, macaroni... 

'ah.. I take back what I said about this place the food is amazing!'

'yeah, it is... Hmm..'

'what are you thinking about Young Master?'

'i was thinking.. why don't we compete to see who can eat the most plates before they're fit to burst?'

'hmm... Are you sure young master? We might make ourselves ill-'

'oh shut it Barbatos! We're the two most powerful in the Devildom, we can handle it!'

'Alrighty then..'

'there are only two rules! 1. You cannot throw up to make room, if you vomit you're out, and 2. This goes especially for you Barbatos, no using magical time powers to skew the competition in your favour!'

'awe, bollocks! You just ruined my plans!'

They both agree to a competition. The first plates go down easily, so do the second, third, fourth, and fifth..

MUNCH MUNCH

'Ooh.. that's good~... Dare I say, better than your cooking, Barbatos-'

'Don't you dare!'

'haha! I was only joking!'

Plate by plate, their clothes start to fit a little more snug around the midriff.. the sixth, seventh, and eighth plates won't go down without a fight, nine and ten are difficult... Barbatos chickens out by plate twelve...

'o-oh... Oh dear... Urgh... I feel as though I have swallowed a -*Hic*- a bowling ball... Ooh...'

'*huff huff*... M-me too... But I'm not giving up yet!'

They end up having a combined total of 27 plates... Barbatos with 12, and Diavolo with 15.... The two of them sit in their chairs, rubbing their swollen tummies.. both not wanting to get up....

'oof... Young master....'

'haha! Y-you chickened out at plate twelve! How pathetic- o-oww... Cramp...'

'*chuckles*.. I did tell you not to get too cocky Young Master....*urrrrp*... Oof... Excuse me..'

'*BWWWWOOOUUURRRRPP*'

'eww... Young master... That's rude!'

'better out than in!'

'*sigh*... I can't with you...'

They call a taxi and head back to the castle... They both don't make it past the livingroom, collapsing onto a couch together...

'w-wow.. I could do a pregnancy photoshoot with this thing..'

Diavolo pats his belly and giggles...

'oof...m-me too... Oooooh...'

Barbatos has the worst stomach ache of his immortal existence..

They both undo their tight garments then snuggle up together and fall asleep, their bellies gurgling productively, echoing out into the silence of the mostly empty castle..