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The cold air burns my lungs and the urge to burrow further into my muffler is tempting, but I don't want to fall while trudging through the expanse of white snow in front of us.
So I take a deep breath and let it out, feeling the humid warmth gather against the fabric wrapped against my mouth. It's some big ass scarf, and no, it wasn't me who tied it in a bow. The one responsible for that was wandering around in front of me.
What's the word for it? Ah. Frolicking. The kind of nonsense kids do when they aren't thinking about anything. Except Souta is an adult so it's ridiculous behavior. At least it's wide open out here in the park. Doesn't seem like many people are outside either. It makes me feel even more stupid for doing this, not that it's against my will.
It's cold. I'm sleepy and I'm bored. I'd rather be home, I tell myself for the umpteenth time, a sigh passing through my lips that must have come out louder than I'd expected to, because he's turning to me now and his brows are rising in curiosity.
"...Ah? Are you tired? But it's just up here, come on...." He hurries me, hands waving and I feel a grumble coming on, one that I don't hold back as I shove my hands further into the recesses of my pockets so they don't go numb.
I don't understand how Souta can smile like that.
"...Hayate. You'll trip. " I snap as I watch him try to run and slide on a portion of the ground that's got the snow so packed it feels like a slick piece of ice. He just laughs at me, arms out to his sides for balance, and when I try to roll my eyes I feel my own foot slip and my body jerks and corrects itself before anything more fucking embarrassing happens to me. "Shit-"
"Pfft-ahah~ Rui-kun, maybe you should worry about yourself."
"..Shut up. "
"...Mm, but it is kind of cold isn't it? Ah! I know, after we're done I'll take you to this cute café nearby, they have really great hot chocolate that can warm us up..."
There's no point in fully arguing with him. I know I'm going to be dragged there anyway so I just listen. I still don't even know why I've been brought to this park anyway, or what's up at the top of the small hill in front of us.
As it turns out, nothing is at the top of the damn hill and my expression goes sour the moment I realize it.
"...ehh.." I grumble and he laughs and spreads his arms wide.
"...It's a great spot to build a snowman. Just think about it, it'll be able to be seen from a lot of places up here, right?"
"...That's stupid."
"No it's cute! Look, it's easy- "
This is such a pain. So pointless. Nothing is permanent. It's going to melt anyway so why even put forth the effort to make something like this?
But the sooner I help, the sooner it'll be done. I know this.
I crouch and scoop up snow with my hands, adding it to the small ball Hayate already has going. It's dense so it's easy to stick and pack in at least. He seems pleased it's getting bigger, and I remain crouched there as I watch him start to roll it around to collect more and more of the snow. Ah. The term 'snowball effect' comes to mind, and as I wait I pull out my phone and check my stocks. I can't hold the faint smirk that bubbles up. Really never gets old making that much money...
But for some reason I then find myself impulsively clicking the camera button and then the video function, and I hit record once he's on the screen.
Its only then that I realize Hayate is giggling to himself, puffs of steam rising from his lips as he puts in the physical effort to roll that ball of snow around until his cheeks are flushed from exertion. At some point it gets to be a bit much and he begins to struggle rolling it. It's big, and dense due to the wet snow. His inner 'Souta' is peeking out again.
"... Seriously? Just quit there. "
"...No, Rui! The base has to be the biggest on a snowman otherwise the torso and the head look silly!" He corrects me, insistent in the ways of this winter ritual he'd insisted I help him with. So I sigh softly as I pocket my phone and walk over and start to help him. It grows in size more and more...and then when we're done with that we made a second...and then a third, and by the time those were done I too was fucking exhausted.
"......Damn it. " I heave slightly, hands on my knees as I stare at Hayate stacking them. I swear to hell I'm strong. Does forgetting to eat really fuck you up that bad? I swallow hard and straighten up, trudging over just as he straightens what is supposed to be the head on the snowman.
"....Almost done! Now all we need i-"
"..Finish it yourself. I'm done." I interrupt.
"..Ehh? But this is the best part! The decorating...Come on, don't back down now.." The way he says it is cheerful but I don't miss the undercurrent of disappointment scoring his tone. Why was this so damn important?
I scowl, and I know he can see my lips twitch. I turn and begin to walk away, and it must have worried him or something, because his voice sounds a hell of a lot more nervous when he next speaks.
"...R-rui?? Hey- I didn't make you mad, did I? Come on, If you're really tired I'll just finish it by myself and then-...o-oh.."
Heh. He must have spotted the small dark stones I'd fished out of some of the landscaping nearby. I turn and come back, and the relief on Hayate's face is so obvious. The easy smile, the gratefulness...
It's his fault for assuming shit, I'm not saying sorry. But I step up and jostle the stones in my hand before dropping a few into his outstretched palm too. A face is simple enough, I think to myself.
I immediately proceed to behead it.
I behead the snowman.
"Ah-.."
It wasn't even like I'd planned on it, but when I jabbed the rock into the packed snowball apparently I'd used too much force, and the whole thing hit the ground and started rolling.
Rolling down the hill we had climbed up to make it.
Hayate's jaw dropped, and we both stared in utter silence as it picked up speed and flew into a guard rail down at the bottom, and when I tell you it exploded into a million pieces of snow and shattered on impact, I mean it. It was fucking gone. Obliterated.
"...K-kai-kun. " Comes Hayate's shaky voice, and for a second I thought he was mad at me so I don't realize he'd used that old name of mine. I just mindlessly stare at him in shock for a second until it registers to me that he is on the cusp of busting out laughing.
I don't think I've ever seen him laugh that hard but it eventually sends him to his knees and I find myself turning away and rubbing the side of my neck with my ice cold fingers.
"Ah shit.." I mumble before turning back and casting a gaze at our now headless creation. I shake my head slightly and step over to Hayate, reaching out to drag him up from the ground, surprised to feel him still giggling and gasping. In his weakness he leans on me and I hold him up instinctually.
"...Oi, it's not that funny.." I mumble.
" Then why are you even smiling, Kai-kun?.." Hayate cooed, a teasing note to his voice that makes me duck my mouth behind my scarf again as I grumble, wiping the expression I hadn't even realized I was wearing off my face.
"....H-haha...I can't believe it just 'whoosh!'- exploded like that..." Hayate recounts, his blue eyes still glimmering with amused tears as he finally stands up properly and begins to wipe them with his wrists.
I stand there watching him and I realize I don't really feel that cold anymore. I feel warm inside. I crack a small smirk. ".....I'm doing the other ones. "
"...Kai-kun- no! "
"...Souta, fuck this thing- I want the cocoa. We're leaving-" I say with a grunt of exertion as I force the second layer off of the base and begin to chuckle at Hayate's horror as it smashes to bits below as well.
"...Ahhh you-! I can't believe you!!!" He whines and hops up and down, pouting like an absolute child with his hands in fists up near his chest, and I lean my head towards the last one, gesturing to it.
He reluctantly stares between it and me for a few seconds before finally releasing a small sigh.
".....This is so not what I had in mind...but since it's you, I guess it's fine..." He cracked a smile and together we sent the stupid heavy ball of snow to it's doom.
"...Hmmmm, you know it's actually kind of satisfying when you push it yourself!..." He says almost proudly, hands on his hips. He was easy to please, and I can't help the amused huff of breath that escapes my hidden mouth.
"...Cocoa. " I repeat myself.
The way his body perks up as if remembering the next phase of our outing is really animated. I don't know how he still has energy to be so bouncy but I have no time to think about it because he grabs my hand with a carefree laugh and begins to lead me.
"Right! It's this way~ "
I don't know why I'm not pulling away. It makes no sense to me, but I fall in to step with him and eventually we're down the short hill and on a sidewalk again. Souta is smiling, and I can feel him squeezing my hand briefly before starting to talk.
"....You called me Souta back there, did you know that? " He says, keeping his eyes forward. I feel a sense of mild panic rise in me and I reply instantly.
"...No I didn't."
"....What? Yes you did!"
"...You're hearing what you want to hear."
"....And so what if I was?..."
"........." I'm quite for a bit too long, I think. God damn him.
"... Anyways...I liked it, Kai-kun. "
My eyes shift over to give him a glance but I realize they'd been angled too low. Souta is taller now, and when I adjust my gaze up to where he actually is I find that he'd already been looking at me with a warm smile. That's right. This is now, not then.
"....Shut up. " I murmur, but the words don't have any bite to them.
He laughs and our hands begin to sway back and forth between us as he swings his arm a bit.
Ah..
I guess it's been an ok day.