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Senku pretends to be asleep as he listens to the mentalist shuffle underneath his covers, before throwing them off and sitting upright. He sounds distraught, taking deep, wavering breaths in an attempt to calm whatever’s on his mind. Senku would've thought Gen had a nightmare had he heard him sleep at all.
Apparently, the mentalist deems even that futile and decides to climb out of the hut, careful not to step on either of the hut's occupants.
Though Chrome is the heaviest sleeper out of the three of them, he is awoken by the sound of the floorboards creaking. A beat passes, and they look at each other.
“I think you should go after him.”
“Yeah.”
“Should I come?”
“You need the sleep, Chrome.” He opens his mouth but Senku gives him a look that tells him not to argue.
“Don't go too far. You don't have another Tsukasa to depetrify if a lion wants to eat you.”
Senku gives him a smirk. “Yeah.”
“Yell if anything.”
“I'll be fine, Chrome. I'd been on my own for months.”
Chrome looks at him like he’s trying not to worry. “If you say so.”
Peering out of Chrome's door, Senku sees indents in the mud that led into the forest. It seems the mentalist hadn't bothered not to leave footprints. That's unlike him. Did he want to be found? Or was he in a hurry?
The path he took is safe and Gen has generally good night vision, so Senku isn't worried about predators or terrain. He knows Gen is smart enough not to put himself in danger while they're still under conflict with Tsukasa, but he can't help but worry.
Senku quietly follows the footsteps as he realizes where they lead.
The very cliff the villagers gathered at to watch the sunrise of the New Year. The cliff that brought about new hope in a time of frustration. Maybe Gen just wants a bit of hope.
Senku finds him on the edge of the cliff, a safe distance from the edge but still a little nerve-wracking. He’s curled up and is hugging his knees to his chest, facing the sea, head buried in his arms. Senku walks up to him, trying to make his presence known by the sound of footsteps. Gen doesn’t notice his presence, or at least Senku thinks he doesn’t because of the lack of reaction.
Who is he kidding? Gen ten billion percent knows he’s there.
“Mentalist,” he greets. As expected, he is met with silence. The only reason Senku knows he’s awake is the trembling that wracks his small frame. If it were just from the cold winds, Gen would’ve gone back ages ago.
Gen is probably crying… then why is he completely silent?
Senku knows well from his experience with Taiju and Yuzuriha that even just sitting with someone in silence is better than being alone. And if there’s anything he knows about Gen, it’s that he gets energized being around people, so he takes a seat beside the man. He doesn’t know if that still applies, but leaving the mentalist out here by his lonesome doesn’t sit right with him.
So they sit together.
The wind picks up, and Senku watches as it ruffles Gen’s hair into a shade of gray. Gen’s shaky breaths are lost in the howling wind. He sniffles- barely a sound- and briefly lifts his face from his arms to sneeze into a rag.
He had the foresight to bring a rag with him.
Senku’s heart aches.
He wants desperately to take away the cold and sadness that permeates Gen’s being, but there is a reason he appends a logical explanation to everything he invents, there is a reason he faces people sideways when they thank him, there is a reason he keeps himself in motion, always moving, always working, always making sure something is going on. Because vulnerability calls for vulnerability.
Gen resumes his previous position, looking slightly colder. He looks down as Senku looks at both him and the stars.
Senku's heart hurts for the mentalist. Every time someone's mind was troubling them, Gen was at their side, ready to take it all away. His ability to look straight into a person's heart both unnerved and comforted people. What Senku wouldn't do to look into Gen's own..
I would give everything to know what you're thinking about.
Just when he thinks the trembling stopped, he hears Gen mumble brokenly.
“I'm sorry.”
“Gen?” he calls out softly. Why is the mentalist apologizing? Senku frowns. He didn't do anything wrong.
“I’m sorry , I’m sorry -”
Should he tell Gen he has nothing to apologize for? But what if Gen doesn’t believe him? He’s stuck in a spiral. Senku recognizes that much. Maybe he should accept the apology? That leaves a bad taste in his mouth…
“Gen…”
The mentalist shakes his head, as if physically trying to fight his thoughts. His world is spinning, and Senku knows he needs a lifeline. What would Taiju do? Whenever Senku was tense, he’d always give Senku a big hug. But Senku doesn’t know if something sudden like that is what Gen needs right now… he could be startled, not to mention that Senku really isn’t any good at giving hugs.
So Senku offers his hand.
He slowly, tentatively reaches towards Gen, allowing him to move away if he wanted. But Gen just remains there, and his responsiveness right now could be debated. So Senku just places his hand on Gen's, hoping that he would let go if he feels uncomfortable.
…Instead, Gen squeezes it tighter. Like Senku is the only tangible thing in the world. Gen's fingers are cold, but in this moment they feel warmer than the feeling of completing a project or the furnaces in the village huts or even the first fire he ever lit in the stone world.
He continues mumbling the string of apologies, addressed to no one in particular, just trying to force the pain out of his body. So Senku presses closer to him and whispers what he hopes is a gentle “It’s okay.”
“Senku, I’m sorry-” he tries to raise his voice above a whisper, but it cracks from the weight in his throat.
“...It’s alright, Gen,” He squeezes his hand back. He needs to divert Gen's attention. “Look at me.”
With a little hesitation, he slowly lifts his head from his arms to look forward at the dark sea of hills, slightly flinching from the sting of tears. Senku smiles gently, trying to fix a polite look on his face before dropping it and deciding that his actual emotions would speak to Gen the most. Senku spares a quick glance at the direction he was looking at before going back to looking at Gen.
This is the most shattered he has ever seen him. His eyes, glazed and outlined with red, are heavy with unspoken emotions. Overwhelming apathy fights with deep-rooted despair and helplessness to see who could consume him first. He looks like he hasn't slept in days . The sight induces physical pangs of sadness in his heart.
The sky, dark blue and speckled with a billion stars, is the same shade as Gen’s eyes. Despite everything, the stars turn his tears into diamonds.
Gen finally sucks in a breath and turns to look at Senku.
He can only guess at why Gen's hurting, so he projects a little. “I’m here, I won't leave you.” He tries to paint as much sincerity as he possibly can in his expression. It feels like he’s ripping his own heart open. “Whatever’s bothering you, I’ll help you work through it all, ten billion percent.”
Gen shakes with silent tears and Senku really couldn't stop himself from reaching for his cheek. In a daze, he wipes a tear away from under his eye. Embarrassingly, he notices that he's kind of caressing the skin, so he tries to pull away when Gen… leans into it.
Gen's body shifts, just a fraction of a millimeter, and he softly drives his thumb into Senku's wrist, hand clasped tightly around his palm. Was that the right thing to do? Gen’s breathing gets shakier and more controlled, like he forgot how to breathe and had to learn it from scratch to try and save face for Senku.
But he cracks, and Senku's world shifts.
A sudden, choked sob hacks through the silence in such a show of pain that it rips open Senku’s heart.
I wish I knew what you were so scared of.
From there, Gen doesn't bother to suppress his sobs anymore, gripping onto Senku's clothes as he is hit by wave after wave of sadness. And as gut-wrenching his devastation is, Senku is glad he isn’t holding back anymore. He knows him; neither of them like being vulnerable around other people.
He drops his head onto Senku’s shoulder like he wants to bury himself inside and muffle his sobs and hide. From the side he’s sitting close to, he takes Senku’s arm and curls his body around it, pressing it close to his chest. Senku thinks he looks a little bit like a panda. But that doesn't distract from the fact that right now, Gen probably needs warmth and connection .
So Senku throws all caution to the wind, and holds him.