Chapter Text
A puddle formed of tears, nails stained red from blood. Crimson. Chest heaving, short breaths. Please stop. Make it stop. Stop!
Everything just felt like it was crashing down all at once, the mere thought of acceptance sounded so easy but it overwhelmed me. I ran my fingers through my hair, a comfort habit. I couldn’t get the image of his face out of my head and I can’t handle it. Why can’t he disappear? I thought it was over and he just had to manage to still be relevant. We don’t talk. That’s good at least. But his friends are my friends. So I have to see him..
I don’t like seeing him, our past was full of mistakes from us both and it took me long to let him go and when it happened- it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders..and then he just kept coming back..
“Luzeria..??”
I just want him gone..
“Luzeria!”
I turned my head. I must’ve looked awful as I saw Yun. His worried and concerned expression quickly pushing my thoughts away..
“Yun..” I felt like I couldn’t talk..my voice like a whisper..
He reached out and gently cupped my cheek, tilting my head up as he consoled me, soon wrapping me in a warm embrace and whispering words of comfort. He didn’t seem to understand my situation yet I was too embarrassed to explain.
If I told him I was like this all because of someone I don’t even talk to- he’d probably tell everyone else and they’d all shit talk me..even if I knew that probably wasn’t true.
I wondered what he said to them about me when I wasn’t around. The way I acted towards him, the lies..I changed and I worked on being a better person and I knew he wasn’t that sort of person but I always speculated.
It was worse when my friends acted slightly different and my first instinct was they were losing interest and didn’t like me anymore..
I was snapped out of my thoughts again when Yun gently lifted my hand and grabbed a tissue, trying to clean up the little blood left before that dried too. It stung. Yet his touch so soft..so gentle..
“Your okay, Luzeria..if you wanna talk-
I’ll understand!”
Talk. If I was to talk he’d probably just not know what to say and probably see me as an insecure and sensitive person..
“No Yun. It’s just..family issues..”
Family issues my ass..
Soon we both stood up and he gave me one last hug before helping me clean up fully..