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They know he won’t respond. Tetora’s busy.
He’s busy often, why does it feel different this time?
Maybe it’s because he’s having fun with other people… or because he hadn’t directly said he’d be busy. Maybe because he just left Hinata on delivered without saying anything.
They’re checking his dms every 5 minutes. Maybe he’s typing..?
If only they had something better to do than to constantly keep checking if their boyfriend had responded to their message.
They knew they didn’t say anything to make him hate them, they didn’t say anything that could cause that…
Right?
But what if he does hate them?
What if he did find a reason…
He’s probably happier with other people anyways. The rest of Ryuseitai is more important than Hinata could ever be, right?
He’s always so excited to talk about his fellow members of the unit whenever Hinata asked him how his day went, and they can’t help but wonder just how “excitedly” he talks about them. Honestly, they doubt he even brings them up in conversation at all.
Did they mean anything to him?
Blood and tears dripping on their bed sheets, again. They need distraction somehow. They deserve the pain, right? That’s surely what Tetsu thinks too.
They let themself fall backwards onto their bed, hugging their cut up arm. Ignoring the fact that Tetora’s shirt they’ve been wearing to attempt to soften the pain, which only turned more painful the more they overthought the situation, will be covered in blood soon. They’ll deal with it later, maybe Tetsu will finally admit that he hates them after seeing them in his now bloody shirt.
They know he’s having fun with his unit, they’re happy for him, to an extend. But deep down, they selfishly wish he doesn’t enjoy it at all, and decide to spend the evening with Hinata the next time such an offer is given to him.
They want him to be happy… truly, but why can’t he be happy because of them?
Why does he need anyone else to make him happy? Aren’t they enough?
Now they feel even worse. Why can’t they be happy for him? Why can’t they just be a supportive girlfriend?
That’s probably why he hates them so much… it’s all their own fault. What isn’t at this point?
They’re starting to feel light headed. It’s either blood loss or dehydration, it’s hard to tell at this point. Whatever it is, they deserve it.
Dissociation sucks too. But maybe this time, they’ll just let it happen. If they can’t feel anything, at least they won’t be haunted by the pain Tetora wanted them to feel.
~~~⋆∘❤︎⋄~~~
A knock, then keys rustling?
Neither of their roommates would knock on the door of their own house, right? But the only other person with a key is Tetora, and he definitely wouldn’t be done with the planned activities at this time… maybe they were hallucinating, maybe just the dissociation.
“Hinata~ are you awake?”
What?
“It’s so dark!! Why don’t you have a light on??”
Their eyes shot open, it has to be Tetsu… But why is he..?
“.. did you cancel your plans to spend time with me?”
“I wanted to see ya!! I really missed you!”
“Wahh!! I ruined your day!!”
Hinata sat up, sudden rush of energy going through their entire body. They jumped up soon after to tightly hug their boyfriend.
“I missed you so much…”
Tetora didn’t question the blood. I mean, he was concerned for his girlfriend, but at this point it was normal seeing them with at least some blood when they hadn’t seen each other for a while…
It was also still dark, so maybe Tetora just didn’t see it correctly, who knows what print that shirt had to begin with. The only time he properly looked at it was when Hinata’s wearing it, but they don’t wear it often, they’re more comfortable in his hoodies.
“I’ll help ya with taking care of the cuts… wanna talk about your feelings?”
Hinata shook their head, smiling, their boyfriend doesn’t hate them anymore, which is all that matters. Their feelings aren’t important.
“I love you..~”
“I love you too, just please work on this habit!! It’s concerning seeing you like this every time!!”
The visible sad on Tetsu’s face made them giggle, but also feel extremely bad for letting it get this far again. But what else are they supposed to do?
“As long as you prove to me that you don’t hate me~!!”
“I wouldn’t be dating you if I hate you!!”
A frustrated but somewhat relieved sigh came from Tetora, as he was cleaning up the last cut and putting bandages around them to stop the bleeding further.
“And I wanna spend time with you!! That’s why I left early… I’m in desperate need of some Hinata cuddles!!”
“Hehe~ I’ll give you as much as you want!”
Immediately back to hugging their boyfriend, who carried them to the couch.
He turned on a superhero movie they’ve already watched together a million times, so they could focus on each other without admitting it.
“I would never leave my precious girlfriend, make sure your brain hears that, ‘kay? I’ll always be by your side.”
Hinata just smiled and nodded, how could they ever think he hates them?