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There were barely any passengers on the train at four in the morning.
Calming down her breath, Y/N clutched the small suitcase in her hand. Its weight—all of her belongings—couldn’t compare to the weight heaving down on her heart. Her racing heartbeat was only starting to calm down. She couldn’t tell she’d make it in time until the train door had closed behind her. Even then, her anxiety remained vivid, tingling under her skin like a swarm of tiny creatures.
It was far too early to relax.
Taking a deep breath, Y/N stepped inside the passenger compartment.
This train was one of the few ones that ran a night-to-morning course, and the earliest one she could find. Back at the station, she’d scrambled the last change of coins for a ticket to somewhere she couldn’t even read, and rushed to the platform moments before the scheduled departure. All she possessed were the clothes on her back and this worn suitcase. All of this—the past week leading up to now—naturally left Y/N nerves a wreck.
But now she was here, about to leave. Her unplanned escape somehow came true.
Well, it would come true if she reached someplace safe.
The rising sun outside the window started slowly dispersing the darkness inside the compartment. Long shadows transformed the train into a haunted space—that’s how Y/N’s strained mind played tricks on her. In reality, the few people on the train were either asleep or dozing off, with only one older gentleman reading a newspaper (and seemingly dissatisfied with the recent news).
For the next few hours, this would be Y/N’s settlement. She needed to tame it, to blend into it. To accept it as a necessary means for survival.
“Excuse me…”
With her voice barely above a whisper, Y/N announced herself as her footsteps resounded, deafening, in the silence of the early morning. No one of the sleeping people woke up, while the older gentleman shot Y/N a side glance before returning to reading. Thank goodness, it seemed she didn’t attract too much attention. It was a wonder how she was the only passenger boarding the train at this station anyway.
Y/N looked around. Due to the early hour, the train had plenty of free places to sit, but what would be an advantage under normal circumstances presented itself as a terrifying challenge now. After all that happened in the past few days, Y/N was, simply put, scared. She didn’t want to spend this journey to the unknown sitting alone, even for a short while. She’d much rather have someone—anyone—for company, preferably an elderly lady who’d offer Y/N a homemade rice ball…
Her stomach grumbled. The older gentleman must have heard that, but Y/N felt way too tired to be embarrassed. When did she last have a proper meal? She’d been surviving on packed food since her exodus.
Unfortunately, there was no elderly lady on this train, or any lady at all. All the passengers, asleep or awake, were men. The idea of associating with men terrified Y/N, especially after living through the past week—but any company was better than no company.
She’d sit next to someone. She needed to.
As Y/N walked the aisle, she felt a presence behind. Startled and panicked, she turned away; no one was there, just the dispatcher’s voice announced the train’s departure. With a sigh, Y/N forced herself to calm down. Flinching at every sound would wear her out faster than she’d reach safety. Even though caution could save her, it could very well kill her also.
Having walked through the whole compartment, Y/N didn’t feel compelled to sit next to anyone. No divine revelation dawned on her as she helplessly clutched the handle of her suitcase. That is when she noticed a barely visible head of fair hair in the farthest part of the compartment. A young man was napping by the window seat with his head hanging low. A large bag sat on the floor next to his feet.
A wave of relief washed over Y/N. She’d sit here.
Eyeing the man, she approached the seat. Normally, one would ask a person for permission to sit next to them, but this time the idea clashed with the rudeness of waking someone up. Y/N decided that the latter would be far worse. Putting her suitcase under the seat, Y/N sat down next to the sleeping man. She inhaled deeply, and exhaled. For the first time in a few days, her body was starting to relax.
Now with enough room to think, Y/N considered her situation. She only had the basic necessities and very little money. No plan what to do next either. Having fled the town was good enough for now, but good enough hardly counted in the wider prospect.
Surely, no one else on this train was as troubled as she was.
With that in mind, Y/N’s gaze flickered to the young man on the other seat. Why did she decide to sit here and not next to the old gentleman with the newspaper? Did she—inexplicably—sense a kindred soul? Or perhaps she simply wanted to avoid conversation after all, because you can’t chat with a sleeping person.
But most passengers in this compartment slept like babies.
Why him of all people?
Like a saving grace, the train finally departed. So that was it. When Y/N realised she’d probably never be able to return, bitter nostalgia assaulted her. Through all ups and downs, this town was where she’d grown up. She’d probably look back and miss it. Now she was headed somewhere far, far away.
Outside the window, the cityscape slowly transformed into greens and blues—still bathed in darkness, but the sun would reveal its golden rays before long. And since Y/N’s neighbour was sitting by the window, she naturally saw him in her field of vision. Unable to help herself, she observed him instead of the world outside.
He looked young. His features, while soft, hid layers of unthinkable hardness. Ashen white hair scattered over his forehead. He wore a dark polo shirt with an opened pack of cigarettes in its breast pocket. At a glance, there was nothing remarkable about this young man, which only perplexed Y/N more. She couldn’t pinpoint why she felt the need to sit here of all places.
Perhaps due to her strained nerves, she shifted in her seat and bumped her shoulder against the man’s. He also shifted. Then he opened his eyes. Dark, deep eyes.
Looking into them, the time itself seemed to stop.
For a moment, the man stared back at Y/N, confused to see someone next to him. Only then did Y/N connect the dots. Panicking, she offered the man a profound bow of her head, nearly bumping into his shoulder again.
“I’m sorry! Forgive me for intruding, I sat here without asking. Did I wake you up?” The question sounded silly. She raised her head, dejected. “Ah, what am I saying? Of course I did… I’m really sorry.”
“No, you didn’t… Not really.”
The man’s low reply startled Y/N, as if she didn’t expect him to actually speak up. She peeked into his face, anticipating more, but he fell silent. His gaze lingered above the floor, only to look outside the window next. Curious, Y/N followed suit.
“It’s morning already,” the man commented at the sight of the rising sun.
“It’s barely past four.”
“A morning, then.”
His attitude baffled Y/N—she’d never seen anyone who’d consider four in the morning a proper morning, despite its name. She continued boring holes in the man’s face with her gaze, hoping to read him, if only a little, but he remained impenetrable.
“When did you set off? It must have been late?”
“Huh, good question. When was it again? A few days ago, I was in Kyushu. But a lot has happened, I’m not sure myself.”
“Ah… Kyushu?”
That’s the other side of the country—Y/N wanted to protest, yet her voice got stuck in her throat. She realised this remark didn’t sound quite that strange coming from this man. And it made perfect sense, considering she’d ended up in the same train, the same seat as him.
For some reason, the realisation only cemented her resolve.
Not allowing herself to feel discouraged by the bizarre circumstances, she leaned in.
“Looks like we both have a long way ahead of us—so may I stay seated here next to you, if you don’t mind?”
The man finally looked away from the window and back at Y/N. A shiver ran down her spine.
“Be my guest.”
With that, he averted his gaze again. Y/N exhaled, relaxing her tense muscles.
The man’s agreement caused an enormous sense of serenity to descend on her. It was as if all the danger and the craziness had disappeared, even though they hadn’t really.
Her mind realised something on a very primal level.
If only Y/N had been a little more well-rested, she’d probably laugh herself in the face. She’d escaped from one lion’s jaws only to throw herself straight into another, unknown one? Isn’t an unknown devil worse than a known one?
No. At this point, nothing could be worse than what she was fleeing from. Cold reason might have been the correct guide up until now, but Y/N had too much to lose to only rely on it. If her instincts begged her to listen, she’d listen.
For the time being, both Y/N and the man remained silent, both gazing outside the window, both deep in thought. The landscape was changing between forests and valleys and mountains, but the man looked at them all the same. Judging from his earlier account—that he’d been in Kyushu and lost track of his travel—he probably had no idea where the train was currently at the moment.
“Where are you headed, if I may ask?” inquired Y/N curiously. She was hoping he’d name some station far away, because the prospect of parting ways filled her with dread.
The man’s face suddenly went blank. “I don’t know.”
Y/N blinked in surprise. However, the man looked completely serious. After a long while, Y/N’s lips absently formed a smile which she tried to hide with the back of her palm. Though the man didn’t return it, it suddenly started feeling a flicker less awkward.
“That’s strange,” she giggled.
“Is it?” The man raised an eyebrow. “Well, I suppose it is.”
“No, not this… It’s strange, because I’m not sure where I’m headed either.”
The man’s gaze unglued itself from the window and back to Y/N’s face. He studied her with a gaze she couldn’t describe—aloof and unreadable, yet at the same time far from cold or unpleasant. It wasn’t a gaze of someone who’d wish her harm, unlike the people she was fleeing from. It wasn’t a gaze she felt uncomfortable under.
She realised she’d been staring into his dark eyes for as long as he allowed her, as if enchanted.
The magic spell broke soon enough, when the man unexpectedly broke eye contact to reach for his breast pocket. He took out a cigarette and lit it. As he exhaled the smoke, a shadow of a smile crossed his lips.
“Funny indeed. You’d think people boarding such early trains have a good reason to do so.”
Y/N’s skin tingled, startled, but the man kept smoking. Even though his words should have had an ominous undertone to it, they sounded more ironic than anything else. Perhaps he didn’t even try to point them at Y/N, only at himself.
No, he must have realised. Y/N had never revealed anything about her circumstances, yet he knew.
Perhaps she should have felt paranoid at that moment. She’d managed to board the train safely, no one had been following her, but her safety still resembled a mirage in the desert. Was sitting next to this man an unwise decision? Was the desire for company going to finish her off if she bared herself to the wrong person?
But—as she watched the man smoke, her inner alarms never went off. Y/N sensed no danger from him, at least not to herself.
In a daze, Y/N watched the man as he gazed outside the window. None of them tried to chat the other one up, yet the silence felt comfortable, almost soothing, considering the circumstances. In the end Y/N found herself closing her eyes, hoping for the swaying of the train to lull her to sleep, as it usually did. Funnily enough, the fatigue of running and running for days rendered her unable to get a wink of sleep. Besides, she was hungry. So hungry. How she wished for the train service to arrive—with the little money she had left she should be able to buy a packed lunch enough to last her for the rest of the day. But the service wouldn’t come until at least three more hours. Who knows if she’d still be on this train then?
The man next to her probably didn’t have any food either. All he did was smoke, and once he finished his cigarette, he simply kept staring outside the window.
Opening one eye, then the other, Y/N gave up on sleeping. Something about this man rendered her restless more than the fatigue and hunger combined, yet it wasn’t an anxious type of restlessness. She wanted to hear his voice, to have him look at her with those piercing dark eyes. She wanted him to know the real reason she chose the seat next to him.
Every logical fibre in her body should scream at the stupidity, but they didn’t. They eagerly agreed.
So Y/N took a leap for it.
“Excuse me…” His eyes flickered to her, and she tensed up with anticipation. She frantically searched her mind for something, anything to keep his attention. “Are you not going back to sleep? It is indeed very early.”
“No,” replied the man. He gestured at the window with his chin. “I might start looking for my destination now. You never know when it will come about.”
What a peculiar way of planning your journey. Y/N only felt increasingly fascinated.
“If you don’t mind…” Her voice suddenly dropped in volume, she was shy to even speak out such a ludicrous suggestion. “Could you chat with me until then? I don’t think I will fall asleep either. Just to keep ourselves sober. Okay?”
The man’s expression changed subtly, though Y/N couldn’t quite pinpoint what changed. Perhaps his jawline softened or the light flickered in his eyes. He didn’t seem offended or opposed to her strange request. If anything, he looked curious. Just as curious about her as she was about him.
And then he agreed. He gave Y/N his name—Akagi Shigeru. She repeated it a few times, even though she immediately knew she would never forget it.
Both of them didn’t seem natural at talking to people, but there was no awkwardness.
“It’s true, I found it peculiar that you sat next to me in an almost empty train,” said Akagi as he pulled out another cigarette. He wasn’t mocking Y/N, simply speaking his mind.
“Frankly, I was shocked myself,” she admitted. When talking to Akagi, she felt like spilling her innermost thoughts without a hint of shame. “Something urged me to sit here.”
“I don’t believe in destiny.”
“Neither do I.” That was true. “But I believe in my own instincts, no matter how illogical they may seem.”
At that moment, Akagi’s palm holding a cigarette froze slightly. The smoke obscured his reaction, perhaps on purpose, as if he wasn’t going to open up that much just yet.
After a brief pause, he spoke again. “Let me just give you a fair warning. You won’t find the security you want next to me.”
Dumbstruck, Y/N blinked. But instead of feeling anxious—this man had just read her like an open book—she only felt stronger attraction towards him. She now knew why.
He was glowing. It was no visible light, but something deeper, something one could only perceive with their sixth sense. And he was right, that something wasn’t the guarantee of security, quite the opposite. Whatever he’d gone through so far was probably deeply linked to it.
Yet for Y/N—that something felt right.
“Perhaps not the kind you’re thinking about…” She gazed outside the window, in the same direction Akagi did. “But I feel there’s another kind of security to be found.”
Hearing that, Akagi chuckled behind his cigarette. His brief amusement shook Y/N to the core.
“You said you didn’t know where you’re headed. Like me.”
She wasn’t expecting him to pick up this topic. “That’s true.”
“In that case… why are you here?”
As Y/N looked at him, the smoke dispersed, and Akagi’s eyes bore irresistible, purest clarity. Even though she knew little to nothing about him, it felt like she’d known him all along.
“I took a gamble on my life… A gamble that’s still ongoing,” she replied truthfully. No details were needed, he would understand. “Its outcome? That I’ll learn once I arrive there—wherever that is.”
A chuckle escaped Akagi. That caused Y/N to also laugh despite herself. She waved her hand about in a silent apology.
“Sorry, sorry. I’m not laughing at you. It’s just that my answer must sound so atypical.”
“Maybe so.” Akagi didn’t look offended, the corner of his lips curled up in a smile. “It’s not a bad answer.”
They shared a short laugh, laughing at the silliest, most unimportant thing, even though outside this train the world full of danger and animosity awaited both of them. Who could be so sure that armed men in suits wouldn’t greet Y/N the moment she steps off the platform? Yet she wasn’t scared. If she managed to escape, she’d be free. If she didn’t, she’d fight.
Yes, that’s what she’d just decided to do.
But suddenly her stomach grumbled and her mind swayed, dizzy from hunger. She flashed Akagi an embarrassed smile.
“Sorry…”
Akagi didn’t reply. Instead, his stomach also grumbled. Once again the both of them ended up laughing together.
Rubbing his temple, Akagi shot another glance outside the window. “Looks like I might need to change my criteria for choosing a destination. The next one sounds tempting enough. As long as it has food near the station.”
“Huh?” Shocked, Y/N blinked, realising the implications of Akagi’s words. “In that case, I’ll go too.”
It was an impulse, a reflex that caused her lips to speak before her mind processed it. Strangely enough, once she did comprehend the words she’d just uttered, there came no discomfort. That was the correct way of things. Y/N should get off at the same station as Akagi. Stick to him, follow him to his destination, even if still unknown at that point.
Because it would turn out to be her own destination as well.
With a sigh, Akagi puffed out a cloud of smoke from the cigarette. “I did warn you, didn’t I? There’s no security to be found next to me.”
He was probably right, but at the same time, Y/N didn’t feel that way at all. So instead of protesting, she simply shook her head.
“And I am willing to take that gamble, Akagi-san. You said it yourself—it’s not a bad answer, is it?”
He thought about it for a prolonged moment before nodding. He then extinguished his cigarette and got up. The next station was announced by the dispatcher, pleading with the passengers to remain cautious while getting off.
“In that case, I’m leaving my lunch to you. Order some for both of us.”
“E-eh…?”
A few seconds passed before the meaning of Akagi’s words struck Y/N.
“But… I don’t have much money…”
“Well, I do. Consider it a deal.”
Just as Akagi picked up his belongings and headed for the compartment door, Y/N dashed after him, half-chuckling, half-groaning, clutching her suitcase, her step and heart lighter than ever before.