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A knight's duties were diverse and essential. Finding a birthday present was not usually among those tasks.
"Oh these silks are fantastic, don't you agree Domin Sheridan? Hmm, not quite the style of my sister though. She's never been much for needlework."
It was a beautiful spring day, and the marketplace was busy. All the commonfolk were out and about in their most colorful clothing; Sheridan felt a little out of place wearing her armor, but duty came first, as it always did. She had been Princess Mirenna's personal bodyguard for almost a year, and she took her duties seriously. She acompanied the princess almost everywhere, regardless how awkward she might feel among the presence of both commoners and the highborn.
"Perhaps the palace tailors can make something more specific with the silks, my lady?" Sheridan offered as a compromise, looking down at the smaller woman.
Mirenna chewed on her lip deep in thought, twirling a lock of auburn hair around her finger as she looked down at the silks. In the sun, her hair glowed like burnished copper, and those wide amber eyes shone like gemstones. Sheridan could feel an all too familiar tightness in her chest, and the faintest heat at her cheeks.
"The palace tailors would insist on making a ball gown," the princess said, before chuckling. "You tell me when the last time you saw my sister wearing a dress, and I'll have Mother give you a medal."
She looked up at Sheridan then, their eyes locking for a hearbeat before the knight looked away, somewhat emberassed. "That's a, um, a fair point my lady."
The princess gave her an odd look, a soft smile on her face, before turning back to the salesman. She ordered a bale of the silk regardless, for her own dresses at least, which the salesman was more than happy to fulfil.
The princess, Sheridan knew, was deeply aware of just how much wealth was at her fingertips, and how much that meant to the average person. Unlike many other noble women her age, princess Mirenna was unspoiled, spending much of her personal stipend on alms and charitable endeavours instead of luxuries. This made shopping with her an unusual experience; she always felt like she 'just had' to buy something at whatever shop she visited, not for personal reasons, but because she knew just how much a big purchase from a wealthy lady meant to the shopkeepers.
Mirenna's charitable and gregarious nature made Sheridan's duties more difficult, but just like the duties themselves she could not that say she wished things were different. Princess Mirenna was such a kind and gentile soul, and Sheridan was honored to be able to serve such a perfect example of noble virtue. It was hard not to feel foldly about the kind princess. Quite hard, at times.
Princess Mirenna continued on to another market stall, and then another after that, consulting Sheridan each time. Mirenna's elder sister was a warrior herself, one of the kingdom's top generals, so the princess had hoped that her protector would know what to offer as a birthday gift. Sheridan had suggested weapons or armor, but Mirenna had chided her gently for that. "A gift is supposed to be twice as useless as it's practical," she said. "We all have our duties, but when you give a gift it's to remind people that they matter even beyond their duties."
Sheridan had felt bashful about the reprimand and said she understood, but in truth she didn't actually. She was a knight; for her, she had no life beyond her Duty. She knew academically that this was not true for the vast majority of people, even other knights, but for her she had nothing beyond her vows. She had no family, no home, no one to call friend who hadn't betrayed her.
It was only by the whims of Fate that she had been able to become a warrior and then a knight, recieving the title of Domin despite being a foreigner to these lands. It had only been by the grace of the gods that she had been given such a high Duty, to protect one who had the blood of the gods in her veins, someone radiant and pure-hearted and worthy. Who could possibly want more than that?
Mirenna had moved on from the market stall again, only to be stopped by a small gaggle of children. They asked her if she was really a princess, to which Mirenna had said yes, much to the delight of the kids. They asked her question after question about life in the palace, much to the consternation of the childrens' mother who tried to appologize for them, but Mirenna simply smiled and told her not to worry about it, before answering whatever questions they had. She was patient and understanding, answering their questions without talking down to them, and when they were done she bought each of them sweets and a new toy, to the delight of the children.
Sheridan startled out of her reverie, as if waking from a nightmare. She had spend this whole time watching and admiring the princess, when she should have been keeping my eyes on the marketplace. She was her protecter! Her watchdog. She had a duty, and here she was acting like one of Mirenna's damned suitors.
She clenched her fists, but clearly her consternation must have shone on her face or in her posture, becuase Mirenna gave her a look of concern. "Is something the matter, Domin Sheridan? I hope this outing isn't frustrating you."
Sheridan forced her muscles to untense, letting out a sight. "It's not that, my lady. It's just... it's nothing important, I promise."
Mirenna held her look of concern a moment later, before smiling softly. "If you say so, Sheridan, then I trust you." Then the most beautiful woman in the world turned around, and continued to peruse the market stalls.
Who could possibly want more than this duty? It turns out, Sheridan did. And what she wanted from Mirenna was wretched and horrible, something that one as lowly as her did not deserve. She was not beautiful, or charming, or kind as the princess was. And she was of a lower station, of a foreign land. For her to be anything more than protector for Mirenna, it was like the ash staining the altar. Mirenna deserved more; it was that simple.
And yet, Sheridan knew she could not hope to erase her feelings. Who could spend even an hour with the princess and not desire her? Who could spend a day with her and not be charmed by her? Who could spend a month with her and not admire her? And who could possibly spend a year with her, and not fall in love with her completely and utterly? This was just one more thing she would have to suffer for her duty. One more thing she would gladly suffer.
Sheridan followed behind the princess as they continued past other stalls. The princess bought a saddle at a tanner's stall, and a wide-brimmed summer hat at a habedasher's. She asked Sheridan's opinion each time, to lackluster answers. The knight was forcing herself to scan the marketplace, to stay vigilant. Each time she felt herself staring at the princess too long, she'd force herselt to look away, and bite her tongue as punishment.
Mirenna had realized that something must be wrong, and turned back again to ask what, only for Sheridan to find herself distracted again. Not by the princess, however, but by the contents of a nearby stall. They had passed a jeweler's stall, and Sheridan's eyes had slipped past the glitter of gold and gems to rest on a simple heart-shaped locket of beaten silver. A memory came unbidden to her, welling up from deep in her mind. A memory of being a child, of her grandmother reaching down to pick her up, of a silver locket much like this one hanging from her neck.
"It's a simple piece, but beautiful, no?" Princess Mirenna's words startle Sheridan out of her reminiscing. "I think my sister would like it. It's the kind of jewelery a warrior wouldn't be emberassed to wear, under armor or over it."
"I... suppose so, Princess. I think your sister wuold be very happy to recieve a gift like this." Sheridan wasn't sure of this. She'd be happy with the locket, and hopefully the crown princess's tastes were as close to hers as Mirenna claimed.
Mirenna's eyes sparkled with joy, and Sheridan couldn't help but get lost in the sight of her again. The princess paid the shopkeep handsomely for the locket, and thanked him dearly, taking the silver locket in her hand. She held it behind her back, turned to face Sheridan, and with a girlish giggle that made the knight's heart clench, Mirenna brought her hands forward and opened them, presenting the locket.
"Happy birthday, Sheridan!"
Sheridan blinked in confusion for half a moment, before suddenly realizing that Mirenna was giving the locket to her. "M-My lady?"
Mirenna's smile turned wry, her eyes narrowed with mischief. "You were so rude, only telling me about your birthday the other day - a week after it had passed! I wanted to celebrate with you; thankfully your birthday was not too far from my sister's, so this lie worked. Be honest, if I had told you the thruth, you would have just said you liked the first thing I looked at regardless of how you felt."
"My lady, I... my birthday, it's not so important. You needn't have worried so much." Sheridan felt quite bashful to be the recipient of her charge's generosity. She could feel a warmth in her pale cheeks.
"It's no worry, Sheridan. And besides, I want to celebrate with you. Honestly, sometimes you act like you're nothing more but an empty suit of armor. Hopefully, this here will remind you that you're a person."
Sheridan was moved by Mirenna's words, although she's certain the princess meant it in jest. "Princess, I..." She swallows nervously. "I thank you, but this gift is too much for me."
"In that case, I have no choice but to order you to accept this gift graciously." Her eyes twinkled with mischevous joy. "You wouldn't disobey a commend from your princess, would you?"
Sheridan had been left speechless at every turn of this conversation. It felt strange to be so inundated with kindness... but oddly enough, being ordered did make accepting the gift easier. She did not feel so bashful at the thought of it anymore. "Thank you, my lady."
"Splendid!" Mirenna's smile had turned gentle. "Now take a knee, Domin Sheridan. I wish to put this around your neck.
Sheridan did not hesitate. Her stomach was twisted in knots and she felt more nervous than she had all day, but she didn't hesitate. It was easy to fight past her nervousness, if it was for Mirenna. She felt to one knee, and looked up at the princess. Sheridan knew that she was blushing, but thankfully it looked like Mirenna was a little flushed too - probably from the summer heat. It didn't seem so out of place.
Carefully, Mirenna unclasped the locket and took both ends in her hands. She brushed away Sheridan's long blonde hair, and carefully brought her hands up behind the knight's neck. Mirenna's fingers brushed against Sheridan's skin, sending shivers down her back and making her catch her breath. Mirenna fumbled with a clasp for a moment, mumbling a quick 'pardon me,' before both women heard the clicking sound of the clasp locking in place. Gently, Mirenna pulled her hands back along the chain, testing its tautness until she was holding the heart shaped clasp in one hand.
They stood there, frozen for a moment. Sheridan on one knee, looking up at her princess with wide, guileless eyes. Mirenna, the sun behind her head, looking down at her knight. The locket in her hand pulling on Sheridan's neck with barely any force, and yet Sheridan bent with it, following instinctively, her eyes locked with Mirenna's.
The moment lasted a heartbeat longer than it should. Sheridan pulled her eyes away and was about to stand, but was interrupted by Mirenna suddenly speaking. “You know,” she said quickly, a hint of nervously in her usually confident voice. Sheridan looked back, locking eyes with her again. “Aren’t knights supposed to kiss a fair maiden’s hand, after she gives them a gift?”
Sheridan felt light-headed. Was Mirenna joking? No, she wouldn’t over something so minor. It was such a small thing, should Sheridan find a polite way to refuse? It wouldn’t mean anything to Mirenna, there was no harm to accepting… but to Sheridan it would be everything. How desperately she wished to touch Mirenna, to hold her, to kiss her, to say truly how she felt about the princess – even if Mirenna felt differently. But Sheridan had a duty: to serve and protect, and nothing more. She would only burden her charge by putting such selfishness upon her.
But before Sheridan could mumble some excuse, Mirenna had already bent down and taken Sheridan’s rough hand in both of her soft ones. She placed one hand in Sheridan’s, and with the other brought the hand up near the knight’s face. Mirenna’s amber eyes shone so sweetly…
How could anyone spend a moment with Mirenna, and not be so completely overcome by her kindness, by her charm, by the utter width of her heart? Sheridan held the hand a breath tighter. She closed her eyes and, bringing the hand closer, kissed Mirenna right on her ring finger – right where a wedding band might go.
It was over in a moment, but to Sheridan it felt like a weight had been lifted off of her, one she didn't realize she was carrying. She let out a sigh and looked back at Mirenna. The princess smiled at her, still holding on to Sheridan's hand. Mirenna rose, as did Sheridan a moment later, the princess still holding her hand.
"Did you enjoy you birthday present, Sheridan?"
"I did, Mirenna," Sheridan said simply. "I shall treasure this gift."
Something twinkled in the princess's eyes then, and her smile grew. "Good. That's good."
Then the princess was pulling her along, leading her through the marketplace by the hand. "But I do still need to find a gift for my sister, in fact. Don't worry, I'm certain it won't be so much trouble to find another gift - just a few more stalls, I'm certain."
Sheridan sighed, and smiled. "Of course, my lady."
A knight had many important duties. But despite their difficulty, they were a pleasure and an honor; Sheridan wouldn't trade them for the world.