Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Varian had a shitty day. Full of annoying, ungrateful people yelling at 8:30 in the damn morning. Then his fuck ass French teacher didn’t make his day any better. Now it was the last period of the day, Agriculture. He hated this class, especially since his dad was the teacher.

He sat down in the back of the class. He was always the first one in the class because he had spare keys to the room. He was struck as weird  by other kids, but he didn’t mind.

That wasn’t the only reason he was seen as weird. He had canker sores in his mouth from his braces, buck teeth, big baby blues, he was too short, too skinny, and he was always in his own little world. He was used to being ignored and ignoring others. So when a blonde guy, tall and lean, beautiful, with cute freckles came over to him and sat down next to him in the empty room, he was surprised. It was also surprising because this guy looked like, well…a bad boy. He had a nose piercing, a small heart tattoo on his wrist, an undercut and a leather jacket.

“Hey, Blue.” Somebody said. The class started to fill up a little more. “Seemed a bit lonely.”

Varian rolled his eyes. “Maybe I like it better that way.”

“Well, nobody likes being alone.”

“I do.”

He looked away and shrugged. Varian was almost relieved that he wouldn’t be talking to him. He hoped he’d move.

That hope was short lived when the boy suddenly smiled and turned back to Varian. Varian saw that he had a slight over bite, like little rat teeth.

“Hope you can keep up with me.” He said and stuck out his hand. “I’m Hugo.”

Varian hesitantly shook his hand. “Varian.”

“I think I’ll keep calling you Blue. More easy.”

Varian pouted. “I’d prefer you not.”

“I don’t care what you prefer.”

Varian was going to say something but was interrupted when his dad walked in and started the class. The whole time, he couldn’t help but think about why Hugo came to him. There were all these other seats he could sit at but he sat next to Varian.

He sighed while looking around the room. Again thinking hard about all kinds of things. What he’ll do when he gets home, once he can finally lay in bed, at least until he makes dinner.

The class seemed to go on forever. He loved his dad, but he could never explain anything to where it was easy to understand. Varian zoned out, looking at the clock. Finally, his father stopped droning on and looked at the time. His father handed out a packet as homework. He explained it a little and the bell rang. Hugo was the first one out.

🐾🐾🐾

He was on his way home, his father in the car. His father and him had a little bit of a rocky relationship. He never got along with him that well, especially after his mom died. His father never understood him, and the first few months he didn’t even look at him. When she died, he locked up everything that reminded him of her. That included Varian. Now Varian only had a locket with a small picture of her when she was his age.

He stared at the trees passing by, music blasting in his ears to drown out the cheugy pop music. He hated pop music.

His music was so loud that he didn’t hear his father talking to him. He jumped when he felt a hand in his shoulder and quickly took out his ear buds. The car was stopped at a red light.

“Sorry dad.” He said looking down. “What were you saying?”

“The new boy sat by you.”

“Yeah.” He tried to keep the sass out of his voice. He didn’t know if it worked or not.

“I don’t think you should be talking to him. His last name’s Rottewange.”

Varian rolled his eyes. He hated when his dad did things like this. “So?”

“Your mother’s doctor had that last name. She didn’t help at all.”

Varian remembered his mother. She had some bad mental issues and was sent to a hospital shortly after his 5th birthday. While she was there, she rejected the help of everyone. In other words, it wasn’t the doctor’s fault she killed herself, it was hers. Well not actually, her mental illness made her paranoid of anything, so it was more like her illness.

Varian argued with his father enough times about this. He decided to keep quiet. Their fights never ended very well.

Quirin sighed. “I know I said to make more friends but not that kid.”

“I already have friends, dad.”

Varian had few friends. Rapunzel Sonne, her friend, Cassandra Solomon and his cousin, Eugene. The only thing was they had all gone to college. He was fine with being alone for the next year.

“They’re just in college.” He said after. His father looked worried.

“I mean friends your age.”

They had long talks about these kind of things.

“It’s not important, I just need good grades.” Varian said, shrugging a little. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is. It would be nice to see you hang out with others.” He looked worriedly at him. “People think you’re scary.”

Varian rolled his eyes. He wasn’t going to change, no matter how much his father wanted him to. He sighed and replied.

“I don’t care if they do. It’s really not a big deal.”

Him and his father argue a little and finally come to an agreement.

🐾🐾🐾

Thats how, the next day, Varian found himself sitting with his other cousin that he didn’t know even existed. His father said that he needed to stop talking to Hugo and make new friends. His father said if he did he could keep the stray cat down the street. So that’s what he’s doing. The cousin he was sitting with was on his mom’s side, so that meant he probably didn’t know her that well on purpose.

He didn’t like to associate himself with his mom too much. In fact, the words he hated hearing most was ‘you look just like your mom.’ Despite that, he kept a locket of her in his room. He always contradicted himself.

His cousin’s name was Amber. She had auburn hair, brown eyes, and freckles. He wished that he could say that she was short like him but she wasn’t. She was taller by two inches. He was a little embarrassed about that, he couldn’t think of anyone that was shorter than him.

Next to her was her girlfriend. A girl with dark skin and hazel eyes, Nuru was her name. He didn’t know her all that well but she seemed nice enough.

He sighed looked at the food the school gave out. The meat was squishy and it smelled weird. It didn’t help that he didn’t like meat all that much. Ever since he little he didn’t like it. He didn’t mind sitting with them, but he preferred to be in the library. He knew he couldn’t do that though.

He snaps out of his thoughts when he heard a familiar voice.

“Hi, Nuru.” Nuru rolled her eyes.

“How delightful it is to see you again, Hugo.” Nuru replied with a pound of sarcasm. She knew Hugo since forever. They met when they were in 5th grade and have been friends since. In middle schools though, his mom homeschooled him for…personal reasons. But now he was back.

Hugo smirked a little, probably used to being talked to like that. “As you too. But I just wanted to know if I could sit here?”

Varian glared at him. He didn’t hate the guy, but he really didn’t want to be around him. Something about Hugo…deeply annoyed Varian.

What annoyed Varian even more was Hugo had other friends to sit with. He just wanted to sit here, with two people who were glaring at him. But Nuru’s glare lightened a little, like she was considering it. She spoke up.

“Why?”

“Because of your darling company. Why else?” As he said that, he glanced at Varian and smiled again. Varian knew the reason he wanted to sit here now.

“You really think I’d let you sit here after what happened in Welding?”

“Oh come on, it was a joke!”

Amber looked at them both with a raised eyebrow and said, “What happened in welding?”

“This asshole scared me and I dropped the metal on my foot! He’s just lucky it wasn’t hot metal.” She said pointing at him and pouting.

“But that’s the past,” He said it like it happened a year ago, when in fact it was last hour. “Think you can forgive me?”

Nuru was kinda considering it, there was many reasons he would want to sit here. She saw Hugo looking at Varian and smiled. She didn’t know Varian at all, but she knew that she needed some friends. All while Nuru was thinking this, Varian was silently praying that  he wouldn’t sit here.

Of course,—because why not—his prayers go unanswered. The lanky boy sits down next to Varian, almost uncomfortably close.

Hugo looks at Varian and speaks. “How’re your classes without me, Blue?” Hugo was looking at him with puppy dog eyes. Varian glanced but then looked away.

Hugo pouted. “Oh come on, won’t answer me?”

Varian rolled his eyes. “Why are you sitting here?”

“I can’t sit with my friends?”

“Are you really friends with us?”

“Yeah, well I’m friends with Nuru. I’ve known her forever.”

Varian looked skeptical, even though that could be true. “Really? I thought you just moved here?”

“I just moved to this school. Not this town.”

Varian looked away when he realized he was wrong. Just as he was opening his mouth to apologize for making assumptions, the lunch bell rang. He was the first one up from the table and was throwing the gross mystery meat away.

🐾🐾🐾

Upon realizing that he had to sit with Hugo at lunch and Agriculture, Varian noticed that he also had the tall blonde in two other classes. English and History. Two of the classes he hated.

He didn’t think English was bad, he just didn’t like the teacher. But History he hated because it’s History. All it was was just sad stories of stupid white men destroying the world. He knew it wad important to know these things but that doesn’t mean he had to like it.

World War 2 was just some nosy women haters trying to take over the world. And it ended up killing millions—or was it billions?— of people. It was sad, yes, which is why he didn’t want to learn about it. He was angsty enough.

What he especially didn’t get about it was why nobody listened to it. History is a warning to future generations, but people are still doing all the shitty things the Europeans were doing in the 1600s. Like mass genocide. Or something smaller, like racism.

Now he was sitting in class, watching the teacher talk about World history, specifically focusing on China. Hugo, thank god, wasn’t sitting close to him due to assigned seating. He was sitting more near the front.

Varian noticed how Hugo was paying attention, even participating.

Hugo didn’t look like he’d like History. He was 17 with a tattoo, piercings, and more than enough studded jewelry. He doesn’t even look like he’d have good grades. It was a little funny to think about it like that.

Hugo raised his hand for each answer and Varian could imagine a tail wagging. Varian could imagine him being a Borzoi if he was a dog. The long shaggy blonde hair, the long nose and face, and the tall lanky body.

Varian shook his head as he heard his name called. “Varian?”

It was the teacher. This teacher wasn’t bad, he was just a little forgettable. He just teaches, which is what a teacher is supposed to do but the other teachers at least try to make their class fun. Varian replied. “Yeah?”

“Are you paying attention?”

He blushed slightly and quietly said, “Yeah.”

“Then can you answer the question I just asked?”

Varian thought about it, he didn’t hear the question but thought it’d be best to just answer. “Uhm…gunpowder?”

The teacher nodded like he knew he’d say that. “Nice try, Mr. Ruddiger. But not anywhere close.”

He turned to the rest of the class. “Anyone wanna answer?”

Hugo was the first to raise his hand. The teacher looked around and rolled his eyes when no one else did.

“Anyone besides Hugo.” Still no hands went up so he pointed at Hugo.

“Fine. Go ahead.”

Hugo got it right and Varian stared at the clock, waiting for the class to be over. It would be the last class of the day.

🐾🐾🐾

After the bell rang, Varian started walking back home. Since it was Thursday, his father had a meeting to go to. He didn’t have a meeting every Thursday, but it might as well have been every Thursday. So he walks on the sidewalk by the school through the fog.

It rained some time before school let out, so there were still lots of rain puddles and fog in the air. He liked days like these. He felt some type of serenity in them.

He mentally sorted things he needed to do. Now that his teachers (finally) hadn’t assigned any homework, he had enough time to do other things. Like cleaning his room, maybe do the thousands of missing assignments he had (he was surprised he didn’t have straight F’s), and catch up on sleeping.

October was coming up too. Which meant the fair was coming to town. Considering there was almost nothing to do in town, the fair coming was really fun to him. He loved going, but he didn’t have anyone to go with this year.

He thought about skipping it, since he doubted Amber wanted him to join her with Nuru. And he was definitely not going with Hugo.

Since he didn’t like to do Halloween stuff anymore, the fair was the only thing to look forward to.

Usually when he says he doesn’t do Halloween, people say he’s a grouch. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, it’s just so boring. He stopped dressing up because he didn’t feel like putting in the effort for it, and he hated parties because it was just an excuse for teenagers to get drunk.

Most of the time. If it wasn’t it was even more boring.

He turned the corner of the street and heard a loud scream. He stopped walking and looked around. He called out, maybe it was someone who needed help. But it seemed like the scream was coming from all sides.

He couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. He decided to keep going in house’s direction. His parents always encouraged him to help people, but this seemed impossible. he didn’t want go walking around aimlessly.

Just as he took a step forward, a woman walked closer. Varian stopped quickly, observing her. She looked like she was in her late 20’s and red hair and blue eyes, and looked just like his mom. That wasn’t the most alarming thing about her though, she was soaked in blood, and her jaw looked terrifyingly dislocated. The smell of iron was coming off of her in waves.

He almost threw up.

His eyes widened and he spoke. “M-Ma’am?” He took a step closer. “Are you ok?”

The woman smiled, her mouth still wide open, and tilted her head. Then she dissipated into the fog. Varian looked around confusedly. Where the hell did she go ?

He had to be going crazy, imagining his mother and a scream is not normal. He really hoped not, he didn’t want to prove people right. He thought more, what other explanation could there be? And it definitely wasn’t something supernatural because that doesn’t exist.

His mom thought so though. But she was….well crazy. Varian ran back home as fast he could. He ran so fast his feet hurt from smacking on the ground. When he got home, he slammed the door and locked it sliding down to the floor. He really didn’t want to think about his mom.

Chapter Text

Varian, 7 years old, was sitting on the chair by the kitchen as his mom talked to him about ghosts. Varian watched her embroider flowers on a blanket as she sat down in a recliner in the living room. Varian was always very logical. Even at a young age, he felt like he had to see something for it to exist. But he listened to her intently, his dad taught him to be respectful anytime she talked.

Varian heard his parents conversations every night, when they thought he was asleep. His dad says that his mom should still be in the hospital (or the white room, as he said it when he was talking to Varian), his dad felt she wasn’t ok yet. Every time Varian mentioned these conversations, they looked at each other with worry and changed the subject. Like he was too young to hear about these things. He was really tired of being babied.

“The ghost was right there in front of me, and all I had in my hands were my rosary and the bag of salt.” His mother said, gesturing to her chest to the beaded necklace around her neck. “So I worked with what I had.”

She explained how she put the salt out on the ground in a circle around her. Then she held onto her rosary, and prayed for it to go away. She explained that ghosts aren’t as strong as everyone thinks.

“They aren’t strong at all, because they aren’t real mama.”

Ulla chuckled. “How do you know?”

“I’ve never seen them.”

“Have you seen Space?”

“Well, no. But there’s pictures of that.”

“There’s pictures of ghosts.”

“Those can be faked easily.”

Ulla sighed. “Seems like your dad already told you this stuff.”

The conversation ended and she kept sewing. His father told him to make sure she didn’t do anything with the needle.

🐾🐾🐾

~a week after the ‘not-ghost’ incident~

Varian was getting ready for school. He woke up that morning to the blanket his mother made. He didn’t understand himself sometimes. He didn’t want to be associated with her but he kept things of her. Even down to clothes. It didn’t make sense.

He was now putting on his shoes, getting ready to walk out his room when he got a text on his phone. He felt it buzz in his pocket and flipped his phone open. The text was from a number he didn’t know. He rolled his eyes, expecting it to be spam and ignored it.

He placed it in his backpack and put it on. He walked out the door of his bedroom and started walking out the door. He walked down the stairs to the living room.

He walked past the crosses on the wall of the living room, videotapes explaining bible stories on a shelf of movies, and little angel clay sculptures on pieces of furniture.

He always found the house unsettling in a way. He never thought his house was home. Between his mother killing herself in the backyard, and his father ignoring him, Varian could never feel very comfortable in the house. He didn’t mind the crosses and religious imagery, even if he didn’t believe in God. Despite not believing, he still had faith that something in the heavens was watching over him.

Even if he didn’t feel like that guardian was always watching over him.

Varian walked into the kitchen and went to get a pop tart before his dad took him to school. He gets another buzz from his phone. He rolled his eyes and flipped the phone open again. The text is the same number but this time Varian opens it.

He glared at the phone like it hurt him when he sees the words ‘Hi blue’ and ‘need a ride to school?’ on the screen. Of course it’s Hugo. That guy just couldn’t leave him alone. How the hell did Hugo even get his number?

He quickly texted back, ‘How did you get my number?’

Hugo answers immediately. Varian can hear Hugo’s smug voice saying it. ‘Nuru gave me it.’

Over the past week he’s been sitting with Nuru and Amber, he got both of their numbers. And Varian’s made a point of ignoring Hugo. Hugo must really miss him if he was willing to go through trouble just to talk to him. Problem was, he couldn’t.

Why did everything always mess up? He thought. He really needed that guardian in the heavens right now.

He almost blocks the number but decides against it. He doesn’t know why, but he didn’t want to anymore. He doesn’t add Hugo into his contacts though.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian had to leave for school very soon after that. The ride to school was easy, him and his father didn’t argue over anything (for once). He walked into the school and went to his classes. He hated all his classes on b-days. It seemed like everyone was trying to ruin his day on days like these.

He was now at lunch, sitting at the the table with Nuru and Amber. He didn’t get lunch this time, so he just watched Amber and Nuru’s conversation. Having not much else to do.

“What about the fair?” Amber said.

They were talking about different ideas for dates. Well, more like Amber names dates and Nuru says why she can’t go. Nuru never seemed to be able to leave the house. Being so busy with extra-curricular activities and studying, she had almost no time. The fair would be a great idea especially since it opens in about four days.

Especially since minors get to go in free the first day it opens.

Nuru opened her mouth and Varian expected another ‘Well, no because-‘ but that didn’t come out. “That would be nice. And I have nothing to do that day after the parade.”

On the first day of the fair, there’s a parade before the rides open up. Every school activity was usually in that. Like band and cheerleading. Nuru was in band so she would be in the parade. They usually got school off too because it always happened on a Monday.

Amber smiled and hugged her. “Yay! We could all go!” She gestured to Varian. Varian was a little surprised. Varian thought he would be the third wheel.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to third wheel on a date.”

Nuru waved her hand. “It’s fine, You’ll have Hugo! Speaking of him, where is he?”

Hugo wasn’t sitting with them today, probably finally understanding that Varian didn’t want to, or couldn’t, talk to him. Varian shook his head.

“Nuru I can’t talk to him. I probably won’t go then.”

Nuru pouted. “Why not?”

Varian shrugged. “My dad told me not to. And I’d rather not get in an argument with him.”

Amber looked to the side awkwardly. She knew what happened with Ulla, and how Varian’s father was over protective because of that. Amber was never close to her aunt but she still knew the family drama.

Nuru rolled her eyes. “It would be nice. You wouldn’t have to be alone in your room.”

Varian shrugged. “I guess, but I really shouldn’t be talking to him.”

“Then hang out with us!” Amber said. She wanted to make sure her cousin wasn’t left out.

Eventually Varian agreed after a bit of convincing.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian was now in his last period of the day. He was the first one in class, like always. Hugo moved to sit away from him so Varian didn’t have to worry about that, so he wrote the answer to the bell work in his notebook. He’s doing that until he sees a shadow sit down at his desk. He looks over and sees Hugo.

He rolled his eyes. Not again. Hugo was smirking at him. Hugo opened his mouth.

“You didn’t answer my text.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Hugo I already told you I can’t talk to you. Then you go ask someone else for my number.”

“You didn’t give me a good reason why you can’t talk to me.” Hugo shrugged.

“I can’t because I can’t. Just give up.”

Hugo sighed and wrote down the bell work. “I won’t give up until you give me an actual reason.” He looked at the board and wrote the question down without looking at the notebook.

That was kinda impressive.

“My dad told me not to.” He hoped the truth would make him quit.

Hugo giggled a little. “Daddy’s boy.”

Varian glared at him. “Shut up.”

To be fair, Hugo did feel a little bad and continued writing. Varian looked to his father as he walked in. Quirin saw his son and raised his eyebrow at the blonde boy next to him.

Quirin decided to not say anything about it, just because they’re sitting together doesn’t mean they are talking to each other.

🐾🐾🐾

~a few days later~

Varian was starting to go out to his car. He  told his dad he was leaving and went into the car. It was an old hand me down truck. The car looked archaic. He had to fix the car a few times, there was always something wrong with the engine. Luckily, he was pretty good at mechanics.

Varian got in the car and put the keys in. He had to turn the keys a few times to get it running but it eventually went. Since Nuru and Amber only had their learner’s permit, Varian had to go pick them up.

Varian flipped open his phone and called Amber. She opened the phone immediately.

“Hi cuz!” It sounded like she was in a closet. “Almost here?”

“I need your address first.”

“Oh right!” Varian could hear rustling and then she said her address. It seemed like she was in an area with less echo.

Varian nodded, even if she couldn’t see him and said, “Ok, I’ll be there. Bye.”

Amber hung up without a goodbye and Varian shrugged. She apparently did this a lot.

Varian drove to the address and walked out the car. He walked up to the front door and before he knocked, the door opened. It was a woman with black hair, brown eyes, was a little shorter than him, and looked she was in her 30s. She had a brilliant smile on her face.

“Hi!” She said. “You must be my nephew!”

Varian nodded awkwardly. “Yeah.”

She nodded. “Jeez you’ve grown. You were a little baby the last time I saw you.” She looked over him.

Varian nodded. “A lot happens in 17 years!” He chuckled awkwardly.

“You look just like your mother!” Varian had to suppress a wince. Those damn words again.

“I get that a lot…” Just then, the girl he was here to pick up slid past her mom. She waved at her and headed out the door.

The woman grabbed her daughter’s wrist and turned her around. “Amber, please be safe.” She grabbed her arms with both of her hands.

“I will, mom.” She said.

The woman reached up to pull her daughters head down to kiss her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Amber walked out the house and both cousins got in the car. Amber told Varian Nuru’s address and Varian started driving there.

Varian wasn’t surprised to here that Nuru lived in one of the more richer neighborhoods. He figured that only rich people would have their daughter doing that many extra curricular activities. She did band, fencing, piano lessons, track in the spring, tennis, and community service. It was unbelievable how many things that girl could handle on top of school. Varian would’ve lost his mind.

Varian pulled into the extravagant house. It was two story, with big windows and a fountain. What was crazy was there was a tennis court in the backyard, and a pool. Varian couldn’t believe this house existed. He’d never seen anything like it.

It was like she was a princess or something.

Nuru came out of the house and hugged her mom bye. Her mom kissed both of her cheeks and told her to be back early. Nuru got in the car shortly, kissing Amber on the cheek as she hung over the top of the seat.

“Hi!” She said excitedly. Amber looked up at her.

“Hi, Ru. How was the parade?”

She nodded. “Like always, long and painful.”

The parade went all through the main street, the one that connected to the highway. That street went all the way through town and was likely many miles long.

Varian drove to the fairgrounds on the outside of town. It was evening so the Sun should be setting in a few hours.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian, Nuru, and Amber got out the truck once they got into the parking lot. Amber jumped out the car and ran to the door to open the door for Nuru before she even started to move. Then she helped her down. Nuru and Amber liked to compete with each other over who could be more ‘gentlemanly’ than the other. Varian rolled his eyes at their antics and pulled out his keys.

They walked to the gate going into the fair. At the front was the ticket seller. They walked up and the guy asked their ages. they said they were minors and they were allowed through without paying. They still needed to buy tickets to get on the rides though. Luckily they all brought 10 dollars so they could each get 20 tickets.

Varian waits in line with them. Nuru rolled her eyes at some people taking a lot of time.

“Don’t you think it would’ve been easier if I just paid for the wristbands?” She said.

Amber grabbed her hand and brought it to her lips. “Let me treat you.” She said jokingly.

Nuru rolled her eyes and waved her hand, her knuckle hit one of Amber’s teeth. “You don’t own me. Don’t treat me.” She said back, crossing her arms and facing away dramatically.

“Ok, princess.”

Varian ignored the bickering and walked up when the person before them finally left. Varian put his money down and the ticket seller gave him 20 tickets. He got out the line and it was Nuru and Amber’s turn. Both of them told him to wait by the benches.

So Varian waited and waited by the benches. He waited so long he jumped when he heard a voice. Although it was one he didn’t want to hear.

“Hi Blue!” Hugo was right there, smiling brightly.

Varian rolled his eyes and ignored him. This guy couldn’t leave him alone.

Hugo looked sad and confused. “I’m sorry, if you’re mad.”

Varian’s eyes softened at the quieter voice. He was usually snarky. “Not your fault.”

Hugo knew how wrong it was to keep pushing talking to someone who clearly didn’t want to, but he needed Varian. The moment he saw him it was like his whole world flipped. Black became white, the sky turned green and grass turned blue, and night became day. He needed to be around the other or he’d short circuit.

“Do you want to hang out?”

Varian sighed. “I’m sorry Hugo, I can’t.”

“Please?”

“Hugo, I already told you. I can’t be talking to you.”

Hugo looked a little hurt and looked at him desperately. “Please? I’ll buy you a funnel cake.”

Varian opened his mouth to say no but didn’t. A free funnel cake did sound pretty good.

He sighed and spoke. “Fine, but only for the cake.”

🐾🐾🐾

That’s how Varian found himself sitting on a bench with the sugary fried bread in his lap. Hugo got chili fries, he never liked treats. They were far away from each other, eating quickly. Varian was honestly wondering where Amber and Nuru were. He tried calling them but neither of them answered. So now he was stuck with the blonde.

To be fair, the blonde did get him free food and he hadn’t even said thank you yet. Maybe he was the asshole out of the two. He looked over at him.

“Thank you.” He said bluntly, with a hint of…embarrassment? Shyness? Something along those lines.

Hugo looked at him. “No problem.”

They continued eating their food in silence. They finished eating and watched as the Sun started to set. Varian was starting to get worried for the two girls. He brought his phone out again to call them again. When he did, he saw that Amber texted, ‘did he find you yet?’

Varian tilted his head. Did they set this up? He texted back. ‘Who? Hugo?’

‘Yes’

Varian rolled his eyes and texted back yes. She texted a smiley face. Varian texted again.

‘Where are you?’

‘I’m not telling you.’

Varian closed the phone and rolled his eyes. At least he knew they were ok, but he couldn’t go see them because he  didn’t know where they were. So he was basically alone, unless he hung out with Hugo. Varian wondered why Hugo was alone, or why he even came. He wasn’t with anyone after all. He decided to ask.

“Hugo, why are you here alone?”

Hugo shrugged. “I hate places like this, but Nuru told me you’d be here.”

Varian sighed. “You just won’t leave me alone, will you?”

“I’d have to die for that, Blue.” He leaned in a little. Varian leaned back and Hugo stopped.

“I might just take care of that.” He looked to the side and moved to throw his trash away. He started walking away but Hugo grabbed his wrist.

“Wait hold on. Would you rather be alone here-“

“Anything compared to your company.” Varian interrupted.

Hugo turned him around completely. “Please just listen.”

Varian pulled his wrist away and crossed his arms. “Talk. I won’t interrupt anymore.”

“You’re alone, I’m alone, and I have 20 tickets. We could ride a few rides. It would be fun, don’t you think?”

“Make that 40.” Varian to pulled out his tickets. Varian thought about hanging out with him. He didn’t want to be alone, and figured Hugo couldn’t be as bad as his father thought. But he really had too much pride to show Hugo that his words changed his mind. He crossed his arms and hesitantly spoke.

“Fine. Where to first?”

🐾🐾🐾

Varian and Hugo decided to go to the himalayan ride. It was a bunch of cars that spun around. Varian liked it, but he had to convince Hugo to go on. Apparently Hugo hated rides like that because they always played the loudest music.

The two of them were in line, arguing about some things. Suddenly, Hugo winced a little at a loud siren that plays. Varian tilts his head.

“It’s not that loud, is it?”

“I have sensitive ears.”

Varian felt bad suggesting this ride now. But he really though Hugo would like the the ride a lot. “Sorry….”

“It’s fine, maybe I can force you on the zipper.” Varian’s eyes widened but he shrugged. He hated the zipper but he just had to deal with it.

🐾🐾🐾

After the two spent all of their tickets, they sat at the bench in front of the ferris wheel. They found Amber and Nuru, they were in line. Varian was waiting until they wanted to go home while Hugo was sitting with Varian. Hugo really didn’t want to leave the other alone.

Varian looked at the sky, the sun was almost all the way down now. Yellow and orange turned to purple and blue. The air was so clear, at least compared to how it’s been lately. There was little fog, and a slight breeze.

The lights from the ferris wheel illuminated the darker sky, drowning the stars out. He sat in silence with Hugo. Now that they weren’t doing anything, it was a little awkward. Varian thought it would be better to say something.

Earlier, after riding the zipper, Varian almost threw up. Hugo was there, holding his hair back and rubbing his back above the trash. It was nice, especially because Varian has been rude to him.

“Thanks for being there. It was kinda embarrassing.”

Hugo raised an eyebrow. “It’s fine. That’s really the least I could do.” Varian nodded and they were in silence again until Hugo spoke.

“What made you change your mind?”

“You aren’t that bad. My dad was wrong about you.”

Varian felt bad judging people based off their parents. In part, that’s what the elementary kids used to do to him. People thought him and his father were just as crazy as his mother.

“If you knew more, you wouldn’t be thinking that.”

“How come?”

Hugo was quiet for a moment. “When I was younger, my biological parents kicked me out. I was 12. It was over something I couldn’t control.”

Varian winced, he knew what he could be referring to. He grew up in fear of that too, until he realized his dad didn’t care whether he was or not. He knew his father didn’t care about him or how he lived his life much. Growing up with a ‘crazy’ mother and being bisexual really messed his whole rep up. Not that he cared.

“I’m sorry. Is it because of…”

Hugo shook his head. “Oh no, gender doesn’t matter to me at all. It was something else.”

Varian tilted his head. “The thing you think I won’t like you for?”

He looked solemn. “Yeah.”

“Why don’t you just tell me?”

“You won’t believe me.”

“Are you gonna tell me you’re a vampire or something? Just tell me.”

It would’ve been ironic to Varian that he said that if he knew. Hugo almost laughed at it, he hated vampires. He kept a serious face. “I really can’t, not now.”

Hugo didn’t want to freak him out. Varian let it go.

“When you’re ready…”

🐾🐾🐾

After a little, Varian, Nuru, and Amber figured it was time to leave. Hugo followed Varian to his truck. When they got there, the sun had completely gone down. The only thing illuminating their surroundings was the light from the fair. Varian took out his keys and walked to the driver seat.

Before he got to to the door, he tripped over a tire. Hugo caught him by his shoulders.

“Woah, are you ok?” Varian nodded. “I should park farther away.”

Varian looked at the thing he tripped on. It was a motorbike made from a bunch of different metals. Some of it was rusted and dirty. He put together the dots and looked at him surprised.

“That’s yours? It looks a little…”

“Ugly?”

Varian nodded. Through the distant lights from the fair, Hugo could see him.

“I know.” He smiled. “I made her. After Donnie said she didn’t want me driving her car and going out so often.”

Varian nodded. “That’s cool. Who’s Donnie?”

“My…kinda-mom? I don’t like calling her that but y’know…foster mom.”

“Ok.” Varian understood the hesitance to call her mom. He didn’t want ask more about it. Instead he commented on the motorbike.

“That’s what you meant by ‘hope you can keep up with me.’” He made air quotes and mocked Hugo’s voice.

Hugo rolled his eyes. “I don’t sound like that.” He was smiling and looking at the fair lights.

“Sure you don’t.”

Varian turned and opened the door to his truck. He climbed in after taking the key out of the lock on the door handle. He rolled the window down using the lever thing and put his elbow up.

Hugo was getting on the motorbike. He put his helmet on and looked back at him.

Hugo nodded at him. “See you tomorrow.” He flipped the visor down.

Varian nodded and drove off with the window open.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian was driving Nuru to her house. Amber was next to him, telling a story of something Nuru and her saw at the fair. Just before he turned on her street, she asked, “How was Hugo?”

Varian smiled a little, the wind bested against his face. Giving relief to the hot night. “Fine. He’s not so bad. He’s smart too.”

Nuru smiled. The car drove to the driveway of her house. Varian stopped.

“Told you.” Nuru said cheekily.

Varian rolled his eyes. Nuru got out and kissed the cheek of Amber after she rolled the window down.

“You didn’t tell me anything.” Varian mumbled.

Nuru laughed and ran to the porch of her house. She rung the doorbell and walked in when the door opened.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian fell on his bed after getting home.

The day was fun but he was a little tired. He couldn’t help he think about his time with Hugo. It was nice to be around him. Even most of it was spent throwing up and screaming.

Varian turned over and turned off his light. After, he closed his eyes and sighed. He really hoped his dad wouldn’t find out.

Chapter Text

Varian sighed and stood up from his desk. He was in English class and the bell just rung. He packed up all his stuff in his bag, since the teacher never let them pack up early. He liked to say that the bell didn’t release them, he did.

Right after he finished, Hugo walked up to him from across the class. Hugo wanted to walk with him there, like what’s been happening for a little. Varian let it happen since he was done with telling Hugo to leave him alone.

Plus, last night changed his perspective of him.

Hugo smiled the the widest he could. Varian could never understand how he managed to stay so pleasant even after a day at school of all places. Maybe it was the fact that he also pissed people off.

Hugo walked closer, holding the textbook and a folder close to his chest. Varian realized that the other never had a backpack or even a book bag. It was a little weird, especially considering he drove to school everyday on a motorbike. What if he wanted to take something home?

“Mr. Schmitz was as pleasant as ever.”

“More like wretched.”

They walked a little bit until Varian walked to his locker. Varian opened his locker up and took out the textbook, putting his notebook back in the locker. He closed it again and turned to Hugo.

They continued walking to class. Varian looked at the folder and the assignment he was missing. The teacher was nice enough to give him a short extension. He didn’t understand some of the questions since most of them weren’t even in the textbook.

“Hugo, what was the answer to this?”

Hugo looked at the question. “Remember that dvd?”

Varian nodded and Hugo answered. “That’s where the answers were.”

Varian groaned. He knew he should’ve stayed awake for that. He just really couldn’t. Between the dark room, the three hours of sleep, and the droning voice of the guy on the video, he couldn’t keep his eyes open.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you copy.” Varian didn’t want to but it seemed like that was his only option.

Varian sighed and nodded.

They got into the class and sat in their assigned seats. Shortly after the teacher stood up to talk.

“Alright class, this everyone?”

The class didn’t answer but he mentally counted in his head. “A few people are absent but it isn’t a big deal.”

The teacher turned on the projector and put on slides. He smiled and turned back around. He clapped his hands together and smiled brightly. He was always excited to teach.

“Ok, we’re wrapping up the China unit so you guys will be doing a short project. It shouldn’t take you more than a week.”

The class was dead silent but it was obvious they were annoyed. Varian didn’t mind projects, especially when it was just a short article and slides. That’s usually what History projects were like.

The teacher said that the students could be in groups of at most four. The moment the teacher said that, Varian saw Hugo stare at him from the corner of his eye. When he looked over, Hugo looked back at the teacher and probably mentally cringing over what he did. Varian smiled a little, it was funny to see him embarrassed.

The teacher stopped talking and told them to get their groups. He allowed them to pick. The moment the teacher sat down, the students got up and went to their friends. Hugo got up and went to Varian’s desk. He set the assignment Varian was missing on the desk.

“Here.” He said as he quietly sat down. Varian took it.

“Thanks.” After copying he went to the teacher. The teacher was surprised when he finished so early but the surprise went away when he realized the other copied. He shrugged it off, at least he didn’t copy word for word.

Varian sat down again. Hugo leaned in from the desk. “Wanna work together?”

Varian shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

🐾🐾🐾

The bell rang some time later.

Varian and Hugo started working a bit on it. Hugo chose the one he knew most about. They made the first slide but didn’t get much else done. That’s why they decided to meet after school.

The two were walking the front doors of the school. Varian should be going to the agriculture class but he wanted to keep talking to Hugo. They were doing casual bicker and went through the doors of the school.

The sky was cloudy and it was a little chilly. The air had that petrichor smell that he could only smell when he was by the lake. He kinda hoped it would rain, even if it was annoying. It seemed like the weather never stayed in concession with itself. One day it could be warm and the next freezing.

He shivered as the breeze rushed cold air to his face. “Jeez I hate the cold.” He muttered. He had a sweater on but he was still freezing.

Hugo smiled gently. “Are you ok?”

Varian nodded. “I’m fine. I just wish it would be 70 degrees a little longer.”

Hugo shook his head. “Too hot for me.”

They fell into silence again. The birds were still chirping, they hadn’t yet left to migrate. Varian liked birds, he thought they were funny. He tried to ask his dad if he could keep a parakeet when he was younger. His dad said no of course, but at least now he was almost an adult.

He could almost do what he wanted. He could get as many birds and cats as he wanted and talk to whoever.

Hugo and Varian got to the motorbike. Hugo took the helmet strapped to one of the handles and moved to put it on. Before he did, he turned to Varian.

“This might be a little sudden. We’ve only known each other a few weeks but how about you come over today? We could work a little more on the project or…watch a movie or something.” Hugo said, scratching his neck.

Varian didn’t understand expressions from others, but it was obvious the other was embarrassed to ask this. He didn’t know how others felt unless they were basically screaming at him. It was surprising that Hugo wasn’t hiding it. In the time he knew the other, he didn’t seem to like showing or voicing his feelings out.

Varian was going to nod but then shook his head. “What about my dad?”

Hugo’s face fell even more. “Well…you’re an adult almost. You can do whatever you want basically.”

Varian shook his head. “No I’m not.” Varian didn’t want to think he was, not until he was out of college and had a 9 hour job and bills. Like other adults.

“Well no you aren’t…but you should still make your own decisions.” Hugo realized that he could’ve been coming off a bit pushy. “But you don’t have to go to my house, we could go to the library if we really need to get things done.”

Varian crossed his arms. “I’d like to. Maybe I can convince him in some way.”

“Well-“ Hugo was interrupted.

“No, I’m going.”

Hugo nodded. “Ok, What time?”

“Uhm, whenever.”

“Ok, I’ll just text when you can come over.”

Varian nodded. Shortly they said bye and Varian walked to the agriculture class.

🐾🐾🐾

That’s how Varian finds himself in his room, contemplating on how he could convince his dad. He could tell the truth, but that would for sure not work. Or he could lie, but he was never very good. He sighed and turned over on his bed. Maybe he should cancel it.

That’s until an idea came into his head. He could say that he was working with Hugo and he couldn’t switch partners. It would be a white lie. Then if his dad asked why they were even working together, he could say he was the only person to work with.

Varian got out of bed and walked to his door. It was in the evening so it was early enough to go. He put on his jacket and walked out. It was always really cold outside his room.

He went to the living room and found his dad in the recliner. The man was reading a newspaper with his legs crossed. The window was open, letting in that smell from earlier. It made sense that the window would be open, his dad loved every part of nature. The smell should’ve been nice but he was already really cold and wind made the room temperature go down.

To add to the atmosphere, the radio was on. The sound of faint Spanish rock filled the room. Varian walked a little closer to the recliner. He crossed his arms and looked to the side.

“Hi dad.” The man didn’t look up but hummed in acknowledgement to show he was listening. Varian started talking again. “Uhm I have a project to do with someone and I wanted to go to his house for it.”

Quirin closed the newspaper. “Who’s the partner?”

Varian bit his lip. Why was he shaking now? He’s never been this scared to talk to his dad. “…Hugo Rottewange.”

Quirin tilted his eyebrow and moved to stand up. He copied Varian’s stance. “Really? What did I tell you about that boy.”

“To stay away…but he’s the only person I could work with. I can’t change partners now.”

Quirin shook his head. “I don’t want around him. I let it slide the first few times I saw you around him, but not now.”

Varian rolled his eyes. He wondered where the fear from before went. “Oh seriously? Dad, he’s not gonna contaminate me or something. Plus it’s just a few hours.”

“I’m not worried about that. That boy’s mother-“

“Killed mom?” He crossed his arms. “She was doing her job.”

Quirin rolled his eyes. “Let not talk about this now.”

Varian agreed with that. He figured it was best not to start anything.

“Fine but I still need to work on that project.”

Eventually his father agreed to let him go.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian left the house after that. He made sure to bring a bag for his laptop and notebook. Varian had to text Hugo to figure out his address some time before. When he did, he drove to the house. He pulled into the driveway.

The house was on the nice side of town and, much like Nuru’s, was huge. The house had a wrap around porch, ornate wooden pillars, many windows, and a beautiful garden. Of to the side of the house was a garage and shed. It looked victorian and was really expensive. He assumed psychology paid enough to get something so nice.

Varian got out his truck and walked up to the porch. He rang the doorbell. At the same time he did, he jumped when he heard a bark. The bark sounded like it came from a big dog.

He turned to see a russian hound. Well…it had the face like one but it was much bigger than one. It had blonde fur, green eyes, and a wide smile. Could dogs have that eye color?

The dog’s tail wagged when Varian looked at it. Varian never liked big dogs much, he always thought they were too rowdy. He preferred cats or little dogs. He held on a little tighter to the laptop, hoping the dog wouldn’t jump. The dog trotted to the stairs and sat down by them.

Varian’s eyebrows furrowed a little. “Hi.”

The dog didn’t do anything else. It’s face dropped and Varian turned to see what the dog saw. The dog stood up and ran to the back of the house as the door opened. Varian turned to look at the woman at the door.

“You must be Varian.” She had silver hair, hazel eyes, pale skin, and looked in her late 30s. She had some kind of accent. Maybe Russian or something.

Varian nodded. He assumed this woman was Donnie. “Yeah.”

She nodded. Her face stayed neutral. “Hugo talks about you a lot.”

“Oh…what does he say?”

“Nothing.” She smiled. She turned to the stairs and yelled for Hugo. Shortly after, the blonde came from the stairs. His hair was a mess and had sticks in it, his pants messed up, and he had his usual leather jacket on.

The woman rolled her eyes and walked over to him. “What did I say about going outside?”

The boy was quite a bit taller than the woman, so it was funny to see him shrink back at the scold. He looked at Varian and quickly straightened and took the sticks out of his hair.

“I know, but it was nice out there.”

She rolled her eyes. “Take off your shoes at least.”

Varian heard that and looked down at his shoes. He should probably take them off too.

The silver haired woman walked off into a room off the living room, probably some kind office. Hugo smiled at him. “Hi. Been a while.”

Varian laughed at the joke. It was dumb but he could laugh at anything.

“A while for flies maybe.”

Hugo smiled and looked down at his boots. He walked past Varian to take off them at the door. Varian copied his actions. After, Hugo turned back to Varian. “Let’s go to my room.”

Varian nodded and followed Hugo up the stairs when he started walking.

The stairs had marble tiles and silver railing. Each of the walls was covered with paintings. Paintings of landscapes, people, or animals. It felt like each of the people’s eyes on the paintings were watching them walk up the stairs. It was a little unsettling.

Varian looked back up at Hugo. “Was that woman Donnie?”

Hugo nodded. “But don’t call her that, she barely let me call her that a few years ago.”

Varian nodded. “So, what can I call her?”

“Donella. Or Ms. Rottewange if that’s more comfortable.”

They got to the top of the stairs and Varian walked to where Hugo said his room was.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian was sitting on Hugo’s bed in his room while Hugo was on the floor. Varian’s laptop was in his lap while Hugo read through the textbook Varian brought. Varian didn’t want to sit next to Hugo on the bed so Hugo gave him the whole bed. Varian thought it was sweet that Hugo was willing to do whatever. He couldn’t say no when he did something nice like that.

“How come you hate history so much?” Hugo said, looking up at him from where he was on the ground.

“I just don’t like it. I mean, the one purpose it has doesn’t work.”

“What’s it’s one purpose?”

“‘Don’t repeat history.’” He quoted every history teacher he’s ever had.

“History doesn’t repeat. Not exactly.”

“Obviously not, but roughly the same events. Like why is there two world wars instead of one?”

“Hitler happened.”

Varian looked back at the computer. Hugo was right. “Yeah.”

Hugo went on. “Plus, there’s all these inventions that wouldn’t exist without history. I mean, what would we do without gunpowder?” It was a rhetorical question but Varian answered anyway.

“Guns wouldn’t exist.” That sounded really great.

“More life fireworks wouldn’t exist.” Hugo said, trying to make a point that made more sense with his argument. Even if he agreed that it would be nice if guns didn’t exist and he didn’t like fireworks all that much.

Varian rolled his eyes and opened the docs that they were writing in. They only had to write two articles about it and make a short slideshow on the dynasty they chose.

“You know why I hate history, why do you like it so much?”

“Donnie told me it’s best to look into people before you know them. And I don’t think that’s true but history is a good way to do that.”

Varian tilted his head. “How so?”

“I guess, you can look at patterns in a timeline with people and things. Like how you know empires fall. It’s nice to do that.”

Varian nodded. The two continued working. They ended up finishing half the article before Varian got thirsty. He moved to get up and went to the door. Hugo stopped him from moving.

“I can get water for you. Just stay here.”

Varian shook his head. He didn’t want Hugo to do everything for him. He never liked people being really nice like that, even if they had good intentions. “I can get it. It’s fine. Plus, you’re writing something.”

Hugo sighed. “Ok.”

🐾🐾🐾

Varian walked out of Hugo’s bedroom and went to the stairs. He didn’t actually know where the kitchen was, but he figured it wouldn’t be hard to find. He really should’ve asked Hugo where it was.

Once he got to the bottom of the stairs, he walked through the short hallway leading to the front door. He didn’t believe in the supernatural but he would believe the house was haunted. The hallway put him on edge a bit.

He got to the end of it and turned. He didn’t know what he expected but he jumped when he found Donella on the side of the wall. She was holding a painting, probably trying to straighten it out. Varian jumped and held his heart. Donella turned to him.

Varian expected her to apologize but she didn’t. It was her own house after all. She started talking. “What do you need?”

Varian looked to the side and straightened up. “Where’s the kitchen?”

“Are you hungry?” She raised an eyebrow. “Hugo is telling you to get your own food?”

Varian shook his head. “Oh no! I just don’t want him to do too much for me.” She nodded.

“Ah, ok. Let me show you to it.” Varian nodded and followed her. It was a little embarrassing, since the kitchen was basically right in front of him.

She opened the door and walked to the cabinet to get a glass for him. She turned back around and gave it to him.

“I recognize you.”

Varian nodded. “Well, I recognize your name.” He wouldn’t have if his dad didn’t bring it up.

Donella thought a little as he walked to the sink to get water. Donella figured it out. “Oh! You must be Ulla’s.”

Varian nodded. “Yeah. I’m her son.”

Donella’s face looked solemn for a moment then went back to the cold expression she usually had. “I’m sorry what happened to her.”

“Not your fault. Even if my dad seems to think so.”

She nodded. “I know. It’s still terrible.”

Varian got his water and turned away from her. It was silent for a moment, Varian could never keep a conversation going very long. Donella walked out of the kitchen first to keep working on fixing that painting. Varian stayed back a little bit.

🐾🐾🐾

When Varian got back to Hugo’s room, he was now right in front of the door. He chuckled a little.

“Oh, thought you got lost.” Hugo said while stepping back to let him through.

Varian walked to the nightstand when he stepped back. “Your house isn’t that big….”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know where the kitchen was.”

“Your kinda-mom showed me.”

Hugo went back to the textbook. “Happy she did.”

Varian went to his laptop and sat down. “Why does she…act like that?” Varian really didn’t want it to sound rude. But Hugo didn’t take it in a bad way.

Hugo shrugged. “Been like that since I met her. It comes with the job.”

It wasn’t hard to guess that it was depressing to hear people’s stories all day. He didn’t think that it could affect someone’s whole life though.

Varian hummed in understanding. They continued working on the project until Varian needed to go home. They finished quite a bit of work. A few more days like these and the project would be done.

Chapter Text

It’s been a few days since he went to Hugo’s house. They finished most of the project, it should be done by next week like the teacher said. This meant that he didn’t have to go back to Hugo’s house. He liked it there, even if it was a little creepy. He just didn’t think his father would let him go back there again.

His dad had been watching them much more closely. Probably to ensure that Hugo wasn’t ‘influencing’ Varian or something.

Now it was Thursday again so he was walking home. Since that encounter with that strange woman a few weeks ago, he hadn’t seen anything weird. He figured that was a good thing, but he was worried about her. She seemed hurt.

The way she disappeared in the fog was scary though.

Varian was by the woods again, going his usual route. It was wet like always, a shivering feeling of cold humid air even if there was no characteristic fog like usual. The Sun was still covered by clouds though. His skin was freezing as well. Like little icicles poking his arms, making his hair on the back of his neck stand up.

He passed the street to start walking when he heard another pair of footsteps behind him. He froze and looked at the direction they were coming from but didn’t see anything. He furrowed his eyebrows but kept walking.

A few steps later, the footsteps came back. This time he whipped around faster so whatever it was didn’t have time to hide. Again he was met with nothing, except a growl from the bushes next to him. He stared at the bushes and a dog started to walk out the bushes.

He recognized it as the dog that he saw at Hugo’s house.

It’s teeth were barred and it was growling at seemingly nothing. It’s paws were still and his legs were ready to pounce. It growled at the air until it suddenly stopped. After, it turned to Varian and sat down while smiling and wagging its tail.

Varian bent down to see eye to eye with it. “What did you see?” The dog let out a loud ‘arf’ as if it understood him. The only thing was Varian couldn’t understand it.

“Well, thank you for protecting me from the air.” He chuckled out. He stood back up and kept walking.

From the distance, he could hear the soft crinkle of the leaves behind him. He let the dog follow him.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian got back home to an empty house. The dog stopped following him once he got to the door. He thought it was weird since strays usually followed for food, but this one just wanted to make sure he was safe. He made a b-line for the kitchen; he was starving.

The lunch was the mystery meat again. He didn’t like eating meat in the first place since it usually made him sick, but he especially didn’t want to eat it. Hugo, who started sitting with them again and hated wasting food, insisted on eating it. He also really liked meat.

They had the same interests—well, aside from the opinion on history. Hugo liked to build things, as obvious from his motorbike. Varian liked to fix things. The two acted opposite from each other though.

When he got into the kitchen, he went to the fridge for some yoghurt. He heard a knock at the window and turned. At the window was the stray cat his dad was going to let him keep. The cat was scratching at the window.

He smiled and went over to the window to open it. There were dark storm clouds, it was obvious it would rain again.

“Hi, baby.” He said after opening it. He reached to pet the cat. He had black stripes and gray fur and looked like it was some kind of maine coon mix. The fur was ratted and the cat was too skinny. He picked up the cat and brought it through the window.

“You shouldn’t be out there. It’s going to rain.” The cat purred in his grasp.

His dad wouldn’t like him bringing the cat in but he’s done it countless times now. He didn’t think it would matter. He put the cat down and closed the window. The cat knew what it wanted and walked to the cabinet, where cans of tuna were.

The cat let out a little trill when Varian put the food down. Varian back to his yoghurt. He felt just as hungry as the cat. Varian went to his bedroom sometime after with the cat following.

It started raining like he thought. The pitter patter of the rain on the window was a little comforting.

Varian curled up on his side with the cat when he got to his room. He started petting him.

“What should I name you?” Varian knew the cat wasn’t his yet, but he could adopt it after moving out. Plus, the cat seemed to already like him and went to his house constantly.

The cat kept purring, laying more on his side so Varian could pet his belly. He looks at the ceiling in though.

“How about…Ruddiger?” The name was his last name, since he was a little uncreative. The cat didn’t care but he really liked the name.

He kept petting the cat. Without realizing, he slipped into unconsciousness.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian jarred awake at the sound of a loud bang. Ruddiger next to him jolted awake and hissed. Varian ran to the door, ready to fight in case it was a robber or something. His father was never that loud. Also, he had just woken up so his thoughts were messed up.

Varian went out and started to go down the stairs with Ruddiger following. When he got downstairs, all he saw was his dad. He suddenly felt very silly getting ready to fight.

Quirin was taking off his coat and his muddied boots. His hair was tussled like it was windy outside. Quirin turned around when he felt someone looking at him.

“Sorry for the noise. The door wouldn’t close.”

“Why?”

“Windy.” Varian looked at the window when his father said that. He hadn’t been asleep that long, did the storm really get that bad?

Apparently it had because when he looked out the window. The rain was louder and the weather was angrier. Ruddiger came up behind him. Varian hadn’t noticed but Quirin did. He crossed his arms.

“Varian, what did I say about that cat?”

Varian looked down at his feet where Ruddiger’s bushy tail was rubbing against his ankles. He quickly bent down to pick it up while saying, “I know, I know. But it’s too cold outside for him.”

“He has fur.”

“Fur doesn’t help when it’s wet.”

Quirin sighed. “Fine. If he makes a mess, you’re cleaning it up.”

Varian nodded. “Yes, sir.”

🐾🐾🐾

~after dinner~

Varian was laying on his bed after dinner. He made some canned soup and his dad was doing the dishes. When one made dinner, the other would do the dishes. The rain died down when he started dinner but started again when he finished eating. The wind was so bad now the branches of the tree outside by his room hit against his window.

Ruddiger was next to him as he read a book. Light music was playing from his ipod; music usually helped him focus easily. He moved his feet to the beat of the music, happy he didn’t have any homework. Apparently, no one, including the teachers, wanted to work today.

Suddenly, Ruddiger hissed and ran to the window. Varian jumped a little and ran to the cat. He bent down next to him and picked him up.

“What happened?” Varian looked at the window and screamed when he saw a face with glasses looking at him. The cat ran to the windowsill and scratched at the window. Varian recognized the face in the window and rolled his eyes. He took a deep breath and walked over to Ruddiger.

“It‘s okay buddy.” He said, picking up the cat. After he put the cat on the bed, he ran back to the window to get the person outside. The rain got pretty bad so he didn’t want to keep him out there.

After he opened the window, the lanky blonde climbed through. He was completely soaked. Varian rolled his eyes.

“What are you doing here? You scared me.” Hugo shrugged.

“I didn’t want you to stay home alone.”

“Well I’m not, genius. My dad’s downstairs.”

Hugo shivered. He liked the cold, but not rain. He shakily took off his glasses to clean off the water droplets. “Whatever, I’m here now.”

Varian noticed him shiver. “Stay here. I’m gonna go get a towel.”

Varian moved to the door. He opened it and went through the doorway. Just before shutting the door, he turned and glared at Hugo pointedly. “And don’t touch anything.”

Hugo chuckled. “Of course, Blue.”

When Varian left, Ruddiger hissed at Hugo. Hugo stuck his tongue out.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian came back with towels and a cup of tea. He went down to the kitchen and, surprisingly, his dad didn’t ask why he screamed. He was smiling a little at how Hugo acted before he left. The shivering reminded him of a wet puppy. He opened the door to his room and his face dropped in annoyance at what he saw.

Hugo was at the his vanity, looking at the locket he had of his mother. Water was dripping all over the rug under the piece of furniture. His glasses were back on, but they were still dirty. Varian walked over and put the mug on the vanity then yanked the necklace from the lankier one.

“What did I tell you?”

Hugo looked at him. “I know, sorry. But I saw gold.” He looked at the window where his muddy boots were. “At least I took off my shoes, huh?”

Varian put the locket down and wrapped the towel around Hugo. “Whatever, just listen to me.”

Hugo nodded. After he was wrapped up, he looked at the locket. “The necklace is pretty. That woman’s beautiful. Looks like you.”

Varian picked it up and opened the drawer where he was keeping it. “My mom when she was 16.” Varian put it away. “Why do you always mess with my things?”

“It’s gold.”

Varian laughed. “You’re like a pigeon. Collect shiny things.”

Hugo liked the laugh, even if it was Varian making fun of him. Varian went to Ruddiger, who was licking his paw. He picked up the cat. “You should sit, I don’t mind if the bed gets wet.”

Hugo shook his head. “No, it’s your bed.”

“You let me sit on yours.”

“Well, you’re delicate.” He said jokingly. Varian threw a pillow at Hugo which he dodged.

“How’s that for delicate?”

“Perfect.” Hugo went to sit on the ground by the bed.

They sunk into silence for some time after that. Varian continued reading his book as Hugo looked out the window. He looked back at the vanity.

Hugo took it away from him and held it up to Varian. “You should wear it.”

Varian looked up from his book. “Wear what?”

“The necklace.”

Varian knew what he was talking about. He shook his head. “I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t like thinking of her…” Hugo got more serious. He didn’t want to ask but he was curious. Varian saw the look in his eyes and sighed.

“She’s…not alive anymore.”

Hugo nodded. “I’m sorry.” He shrugged. “More reason to wear it.”

Varian shook his head. “Hugo…there’s more things than just her being dead.”

“Like what?”

Varian took the necklace away again. “She was crazy. She refused help and killed herself.”

“So what? You don’t want to think of her because she’s crazy? She’s still gone. Don’t you think she should be remembered?”

“She has enough of that.”

Hugo almost scoffed at that. “She’s your mom.”

“She’s the reason my dad doesn’t pay attention to me. Or why I didn’t talk to anyone growing up.” Varian snapped.

Hugo jumped a little. He stood up. “That doesn’t change anything.” He sat down next to Varian. Varian didn’t to sit by him, but didn’t move either. Ruddiger, who felt the tense air of the room, stood on edge.

Hugo continued. “Still your mom, still someone you can’t escape. Also, you cant blame her for that. She was suffering.”

“You don’t know what it feels like.”

“But I know what it feels like to feel abandoned.” Hugo didn’t want remember that.

Varian knew what he was referring to and furrowed his brows. “I know you would.”

Varian couldn’t imagine what Hugo gone through. “But I don’t feel abandoned. Just angry.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t blame her.”

They went back to a less comfortable silence. The only thing filling the room was the tree branches against the window and the faint guitar from his ipod. He knew Hugo was right, he just couldn’t forgive his mom for leaving. For leaving because of a problem that could’ve been fixed. Hugo left after a few more minutes.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian laid in the dark. It was late and he had school tomorrow, but he just couldn’t find himself to go to sleep. So he succumbed to staring at the ceiling and thinking about the words Hugo said.

He didn’t even know why he was mad, or why he wanted to forget his mom. Was it her? Was it his dad? At this point, it could be anything. The entire town saw him as an outcast since she came back from the hospital. Maybe it was just the town.

He closed his eyes and turned to his side. He really couldn’t wait to leave town. The dark room should’ve been comforting but it was the last thing he wanted. He liked being alone, so why was he so uncomfortable now?

🐾🐾🐾

Varian quickly regretted staying up all night the next day. He got tired of staying in bed when he wasn’t even getting any sleep, so he got up to go take a shower at 4:30. After he showered, he stayed in bed a little longer. Ruddiger was still next to him, purring as he pet his fur.

The sun started rising a few hours later. He decided that it would be a good time to get up. He went down the stairs to eat breakfast, just a pop tart like usual.

He sat down at the table after getting the pop tart. Before he even noticed, his head hit the table and he fell asleep some time before he needed to go to school. It didn’t last long, because he woke up to a big bang and a yell.

“Go! Git!” The familiar voice said. The voice was coming from outside.

He quickly went to the door and opened it. His dad put his hands in the air in a shooing motion. What he was talking to was a dog, the same dog that’s been following Varian. He walked through the door and walked until he was next to his dad. Was this dog so attached that it was waiting by the door now?

The moment the dog saw Varian, it perked up and jumped playfully. His dad turned to him. “You’re awake?”

Varian shrugged. “Yeah.”

His dad looked back at the dog and yelled again. “Go! Go to your owner!”

The dog shrunk back and turned around. It walked off with it’s tail in between it’s legs. His father shook his head. “What is it with animals and this house?”

That was a good question to ask. Animals always liked the house they lived in. Like the time a raccoon snuck in and laid in Varian’s blankets. Or when a bird made a nest right where the front door opened.

Varian shrugged. It didn’t bother him as much. His dad started down the stairs and unlocked his car.

“Just get your bag and we’ll get going.”

Varian nodded and went back in. He quickly got his bag and the pop tart he was eating. He was still tired and knew this day would be long.

Chapter Text

Varian and Hugo talked very little about the small fight. They decided it wasn’t a huge deal so they ignored it. Varian just didn’t want to talk about his mom, not without adjusting his thoughts. He still has been thinking about it, and hasn’t yet decided if he should listen to Hugo or not. On one hand, she kinda ruined everything, but on another he knew that he needed to let it go.

That the past is the past and he needed to heal.

The day after Hugo went to Varian’s house, he got sick from being out in the cold. Varian felt bad for not at least offering for him to stay, but he had a feeling that the other wouldn’t have stayed anyway. When he got better and showed up to school, Hugo tried to apologize to Varian. He knew that he shouldn’t have pried like that. Before the other finished, Varian interrupted him and said it was ok.

So that’s how the two of them were being overly cautious with each other. Maybe someday they would talk over it.

Varian would make sure that day wasn’t today.

Varian walked to the cafeteria. It was a b-day, so he had agriculture with Hugo after lunch. That also meant that Hugo wouldn’t be sitting with them. Hugo had other friends to sit with. He liked talking to him but the argument made it a tad more awkward.

He sat down at the table that Nuru and Amber usually sat at. The two were in line getting their lunches. He gave up on trying the food at school, resorting to eating like a cow when he got home. He still didn’t judge others who did get the lunches, the food was made for a reason after all.

He put his knee up and rested his head on it. He started tying his shoe lace, he didn’t realize his shoe was untied until he sat down. He just needed to mess with something. He was almost done when someone pushed him. He grabbed the table to not fall over but the person also caught him. He looked up at the figure, annoyed.

Of course, it was Hugo—because who else would it be? Varian rolled his eyes.

“Asshole. What was that for?” At the very least Varian didn’t scream.

“Nothing. Just messing with you.” Varian scoffed dramatically at Hugo’s words.

“Well, I could’ve busted my head.” He said that knowing that he caught himself.

“But you didn’t.”

Varian elbowed him. “Whatever. What are you here for?”

“I can’t just talk?”

“Well usually you’re with your other friends.”

Hugo shrugged. His friends were a small group of skaters. He thought it was weird, that some guy who lives in a huge house hangs out with a band of stoners. Except Hugo was Hugo, not just some guy.

“I would hate to tell them but they are dumb. Like I need a break.”

“Sounds a little two-faced.”

“That’s a girl thing. Plus they can just beat my ass if they found out.” He sat down. “Not that they care.”

They sat in silence for a little longer. Varian finished tying his shoe and put his leg down.

“I get that. Sometimes I need a break from you.”

Hugo put his hand on his heart. “I can’t believe you said that.” He said jokingly.

The two looked at Nuru and Amber as they walked toward the table. The other two sat down. Nuru looked at Hugo quizzically. “Needed a break from those potheads?”

Hugo shrugged. “Yeah…they’re stupid.” He looked over and saw one of them putting a noodle in his mouth and the other end came out his nose. Hugo made a face. Now that’s what you do when you’re faded.

Hugo looked back over. “See what I’m saying?”

The three nodded and avoided the sight. Nuru and Amber didn’t want to lose their appetite.

Nuru spoke up. “Hey, we should all go out somewhere.”

Nuru never suggested something like that, but she really wanted to get out the house and her extra curricular activities badly. She figured the best way was to hang out with her girlfriend and her two other friends who were (totally) not dating.

Varian and Hugo looked at each other. Varian couldn’t come up with another excuse to say to his dad to get him to agree to let him go. Plus, they had some things to work through. Hugo looked like he read his thoughts. “Well, it’d probably just be me and you two. Varian can’t go.”

Nuru rolled her eyes. She understood that he wanted to listen to his dad, but he was almost an adult for goodness sake. “Varian, come on, just lie to him or something.”

“I suck at lying to him. And what if he finds out? Then I’m cooked.”

He sighed. “I really want to go, but I can’t risk it.”

Amber came up with an idea. “We just won’t invite Hugo but he can come anyway.”

Hugo scoffed. “Wow, Amber. Leaving me out?” He said jokingly.

“Yeah.” She said sarcastically. “Me and Nuru will make out on the bench without you pestering us.”

Varian thought about the plan, it would be another half truth. He could do that. “I guess I could do that.”

🐾🐾🐾

The four decided to meet at the mall that Saturday. The mall wasn’t very good, but there was a really good pizza place and a movie theater. Despite Varian’s efforts to avoid the talk with Hugo, it was inevitable.

So when the two were walking to Hugo’s motorbike, Varian stopped him. “Hugo, we need to talk about…the fight we had.”

Hugo stopped and looked at him. “I told you. You really aren’t fine with the words I said, are you?”

Varian shook his head. “I’m not mad anymore…but I do need someone to talk to about my mom.”

Hugo nodded. “Well, hit me with it.”

The other looked at his shoes. “You were wrong about some of the things you said. But you were right about one thing, I need to remember her. Since she’s still family.”

He paused. “And…” He paused a little bit. “And I’m sorry I was so mean. She didn’t abandon me like yours-“ He was cut off.

“Don’t start that. Everyone deals with grief differently.”

“I’m just more…avoidant with it.” He mumbled. Hugo nodded.

“Exactly!”

The two started walking again. Varian spoke again. “That doesn’t excuse it, I was completely disrespectful to her all my life.”

“At least you’re trying to get better.”

Varian and Hugo got to his bike. Hugo put the helmet on and buckled it.

“And you’d look great with that necklace on.” Hugo got on tilted his head at him. Varian blushed a little and kept his mouth open. Hugo laughed. “Bye, see you at some point Blue.”

The blonde sped off and Varian stayed there. Did he really just blush at something so cheesy?

🐾🐾🐾

As the week moved on, Varian dreaded more and more about asking his dad to go.

What Varian didn’t think about was that he knew Hugo would still be there. He was now at home, curled on the bed. He doesn’t know why he has so much respect for his dad. Considering his dad only just started paying attention to him.

Varian knew he needed to ask soon, it was Friday after all. He just couldn’t lie though.

He sighed and rolled over to get his phone. He flipped it open and pressed on Hugo’s number. He texted quickly.

‘tell me u won’t be there.’ He texted.

Hugo raised an eyebrow at the text when he got it. He was in the backyard, the house was too hot with the heater on.

‘why?’

‘i can’t lie. i know you’ll be there.’

Hugo rolled his eyes. ‘fine, i won’t be there.’

Varian felt a little better about asking his dad to go. He wanted to wait for dinner to ask him, since his dad was already making dinner.

He got up off the bed and went to sit at the nook and sat down. He liked to hide behind the curtains and look out the window. He didn’t have a good look of the street, since a tree was in the way. With that, he stared at the tree branches.

The sight wasn’t as pleasant in Autumn as it was in Spring. In the moonlight, he could see the barren branches and the way they swayed in the wind. He didn’t like the lack of color, it was one of the many reason he hated Winter. He liked it better in Spring, when flowers bloomed next to the leaves.

He had more reasons to hate Winter. The sun hid away, snow fell more often, and the plants died. The only part he liked was when he could curl up and drink hot cocoa. The heater in his house didn’t work too well though, so he would still be cold.

And he hated allergies.

He moved from the nook when he heard his dad yell for him. He moved to the door and went down the stairs. He breathed in and out, preparing himself to ask.

When he got downstairs, the house smelled like kraft mac and cheese and broccoli. His dad never tried very hard for dinner, not that Varian did either. And he didn’t care.

He was just happy his dad cared enough to make food. He knew some kids who had parents that stopped cooking for them when they turned 12.

He made his plate and sat in front of his dad. He fidgeted with his food a bit. When he was younger, he would do this when he got in trouble. It was always a sure sign that something was wrong.

One that his mom would pick up but his father never did. In this moment he was grateful for that.

He took a bite of his food. As he ate, he thought of asking about it. He finished first and moved to do the dishes. He figured it would be easier to ask this way. Varian turned back to his father.

“Hey, dad?” He said tentatively.

His father looked up at from where he was reading. He nodded for him to continue.

“Can I hang out with my friends this weekend?”

“What will you guys be doing?”

“Y’know, teen things.”

Quirin raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be?” Varian knew that when his dad was a teen, ‘normal teen things’ usually meant smoking, drinking, and other things like that.

“Shopping. We’re going to the mall.”

“Who’ll be there?”

Varian was surprised he was even asking this question. It’s not like Varian had much friends outside of Eugene, Cass, Rapunzel, Nuru, and Amber. Hugo counted too, but that was supposed to be a secret. But only three were in town.

“Nuru and Amber.”

He nodded. “Sure, you can go.”

Varian continued doing the dishes, slightly relieved that he agreed.

🐾🐾🐾

On Saturday, Varian woke up and made some pancakes. On weekends, he actually had time to do what he wanted. He was an early bird so the entire day was free. So instead of eating his usual meal of a pop tart or yoghurt, he could eat something more filling.

Varian did the dishes and got ready to go to the mall. He tried a little too hard to pick a perfect outfit. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone—at least he wasn’t wanting to. He contemplated wearing the locket. He wanted to start wearing it, he thought about his words. He thought that today would be a good time to wear it.

He finally picked a good outfit and took the locket. He was walking to the car as he put it on. He didn’t have to pick up Nuru or Amber because Amber was already getting a ride from Nuru’s mom.

Varian got into the car and shut the door. He smiled excitedly. He was excited to hang out with Hugo, Nuru, and Amber. He turned on the car after a few tries and went off to the road.

Since it was a Saturday afternoon, everybody and their moms seemed to be outside. He was on the road for about 15 minutes then pulled into parking lot. He saw the two girls sitting at one of the tables by the Mexican restaurant outside.

He turned the car off and got out. He walked up to them.

“Hi!” He said. He never got very excited for anything. He didn’t know why he was now.

“Hi, finally came.” Amber teased.

“I’m not late.” He checked his phone. “Well…maybe a little.”

Nuru shrugged. “It’s fine.” She crossed her legs. She raised her eyebrow. “You look nicer than usual.”

“And you look just as fancy as you always do.”

Varian sat down across from Amber. They made casual conversation for a little while. After about 20 minutes, Varian rolls his eyes.

“Where’s Hugo at? Didn’t know someone could be this late.”

Nuru shrugged and looked at Amber, like the two were exchanging words telepathically. “Who knows, he’s always late.”

Before Varian could answer, he heard the sound of a motorbike behind him. Varian turned and saw a face just as annoying as the sound. One that he, somehow, never hated.

Hugo got off the bike and smiled at Varian. “Hi, Blue. Worried about me?”

Varian rolled his eyes and let Nuru talk. “We were just wondering where you were.”

“I was just late.” He shrugged. “I thought Varian didn’t want me to be here.” He said as he sat down next to Varian.

“I didn’t say that!” Varian said defensively.

Hugo chuckled. “I know, I know. Just kidding.”

Hugo saw that Varian was wearing the locket he was holding when he was at the other’s house. He pointed at the locket.

“You’re wearing it.” He said.

Varian blushed and looked down, holding it. “Oh yeah, I did say I was getting better.”

Hugo nodded and smiled. “I was right, you look real nice in it.”

“Thanks.”

Nuru smirked as she looked between them. Nuru knew how Hugo acted when he liked someone, and she thought it was adorable. She had a perfect plan to get them alone again. She clapped her hands. “Well, where to first?”

🐾🐾🐾

The four went to the jewelry store first. It had lots of different rocks and had a few gold for pretty cheap. They weren’t going to buy anything, but they loved it in there. Plus, Amber’s brother worked there.

Varian walked down the isle with Hugo. He showed him a few aquamarine rocks. Hugo seemed to like them a lot. As he looked over the gold chain bracelet, a voice from right behind him spoke. Varian jumped and dropped the chain from his hands.

Varian held his chest and turned to see a teen. He assumed the other was Amber’s brother. He didn’t remember his name, but it was an obvious that Varian and the other were related. The teen put his hands up and picked up the chain. “Sorry, sorry.” He said. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Varian looked at him put the chain back. “It’s fine.”

The other turned back around when he was done putting up the chain. “Uhm…what was your name?” Varian asked.

“Oh, It’s Ethan.”

Varian nodded. “Ok. Sorry I forgot it.”

“It’s fine. Not like I remember yours either."

“It’s Varian.”

Ethan was going to answer but was jumped on by his little sister. He jumped and turned to her. “Damnit, Amber. That scared me.”

“Sorry, bro-bro.” She held up green rocks. “Look, it’s Aventurine. Mom’s favorite!”

Her brother smiled. “Yeah, perfect gift for her birthday, right?” He turned the bag of rocks over to see a tag. He pointed at it. “Still 30 bucks though.”

That wasn’t expensive for rocks, but it was expensive for something tiny like those.

Nuru spoke up. “I already offered to pay.”

Amber shook her head. “And I already said no to that.”

“No, wait. Let her pay, sis.” He gestured to her.

Amber rolled her eyes and put the rocks down. “You’re making me seem like a gold digger.”

As the two began their normal routine of sibling bickering, Varian noticed Hugo walking away. He walked over and followed the taller man. Hugo stopped at an aisle of red rocks. Varian very causally—not casually at all—moved to stand by him.

Varian turned to the other and said, “I like the shirt.” Hugo looked down at it, it was a Deftones album.

“Thanks.”

The two stood silently for a little bit. They both didn’t know what to say. But something about Hugo made the silence less uncomfortable.

🐾🐾🐾

After the rock store, they went to a little cafe. Nuru and Amber went their own ways. They wanted to get boba but Varian didn’t like it and Hugo wanted to stay with him.

Hugo payed for their drinks and they sat down at a table.

“Maybe after this, we could watch a movie.” Hugo said.

Varian shrugged. “And what would we watch? Saw 2?”

Hugo shook his head with a face. “Too bloody. Maybe a rerun of the Ring.”

Varian shook his head. “I hate horror movies.”

“But you like Scream?”

“I like Skeet Ulrich.”

Hugo nodded. “He is pretty cute.”

The waitress walked over with Varian’s hot cocoa and Hugo’s tea. Hugo didn’t like sweet things much. Varian nodded at her and said thank you, then took a sip. After, he put it down and looked out the window.

“Why do you think Nuru and Amber want us to be alone so bad.”

Hugo blushed, the red stood out against his pale skin. He shrugged. “They are dating.”

“Why did they even invite us?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

Varian took another sip of his cocoa. Varian couldn’t get the fact that Hugo was late off his mind. He wondered if it was Varian’s fault, maybe Hugo thought the other didn’t want him to be there. He twirled the marshmallows in with a spoon.

He watched the white globs twirl in the brown liquid. There was one that always went to another.

“Hugo?” He looked up from the mug. Hugo nodded. Varian continued. “Why were you so late today?”

“I had things to do.” Varian knew it was non of his business what those things were, but he asked anyway.

“And what were those things?”

Hugo took another drink of his tea. He was already halfway through it. “Y’know, things.”

Varian wondered if this was how his father felt. When he was asking to go to the mall, he didn’t even bother to elaborate. But Varian knew to not ask. If Hugo wasn’t telling what he was doing, he assumed it wasn’t very important.

“So it wasn’t because of the…’tell me you won’t be there’ text?” Varian asked. That was a real concern for him.

Hugo laughed a little at the worried face. Not many people got so anxious over hurting another’s feelings. “No, of course not.”

“Oh good…” He scooped up one of the marshmallows with his spoon.

🐾🐾🐾

After Varian and Hugo finished their drinks, they walked out to find Amber and Nuru.

Varian walked next to Hugo. “What will we do after this?” He pointed at Hugo. “And no scary movies.”

“Maybe we should ask those two.” He pointed at the the girls they were looking for. Nuru was leaning her on the other girl’s shoulder. Amber laughed at something she said.

Varian and Hugo walked up to them. “Hey, get a room.” Hugo said teasingly.

Nuru raised the middle finger in his face. They were like siblings. “Shut up.”

Hugo scoffed dramatically. “I can’t believe you would do that to me. You sure Amber isn’t a bad influence?”

“You’re the bad influence.”

Hugo and Nuru went back and forth, teasing eachother. Meanwhile Amber and Varian talked about what they wanted to do.

“What do you want to do? I mean, after they stop their…” He gestured to Hugo giving her a noogie, while Nuru hit the side of his face. “That…”

Amber chuckled. “I don’t know. There’s the clothes store, the shoe store. Or we could steer away from clothes and go to the music shop.” She didn’t suggest a movie, since the only ones out were horror.

“Ok. Let’s go.”

🐾🐾🐾

They ended up doing all three things and went to go back to their home. Varian and Hugo waited with the two girls for their mothers to pick them up. Varian would’ve given them a ride, but the two insisted he didn’t. Partially because the car barely ever started without a jump start or hope and prayer. Seriously, that car was running off of the power of friendship.

“Have you guys watched the new movie with Angelina Jolie in it?” Nuru asked. She thought that woman was beautiful.

Varian shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Nuru thought a little. “Uhm…’Mr. and Mrs. Smith.’”

Varian tilted his head. “That isn’t new.”

“It’s newer than her other ones.”

He didn’t go watch it in theaters, and he doubted that Nuru did because she was at Summer Camp.

Nuru nodded. “Yeah, it was on tv last night. It was pretty good.”

“They’re already doing broadcasts of it?” Hugo asked. The movie came out about a year ago now, it’s not like it was new.

“It came out last year…”

Nuru looked as her car pulled up. She said bye to them and went over to the car. Shortly after, Amber said bye and went to her own.

Now Varian and Hugo were alone. For some reason the two were content to sit in silence, watching the sun go down. The sky burst into colors of orange, pink, and dark blue. It was the one time the sky was clear enough to see.

Hugo pulled out a bracelet. It was a gold chain with a single blue gem. Varian could tell it wasn’t aquamarine, but he wasn’t sure what it was. Hugo put it around his wrist, adjusting it so it fit.

“It’s really nice.” Varian said. “What gem is it?”

“Topaz.”

Varian was a little surprised. He looked back at it. “Thanks. It’s nice.” He sighed. “How much did this cost?”

Hugo nodded. “About 20 dollars. Not bad, huh?”

Varian still felt a little bad. “You didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to.”

Varian blushed at that. Hugo really didn’t mind if he went completely broke for the other. As long as Varian smiled.

Varian played with the bracelet as the Sun kept setting. He hesitantly laid his head on Hugo’s shoulder.

🐾🐾🐾

The sun went down and the two got up from the bench they were sitting on. Varian almost fell asleep, with the other boy’s arm around his shoulders. Varian and Hugo walked to his car.

Once they did, Varian turned back to him.

“It was nice seeing you.” He smiled. “And thank you for the bracelet again.”

“Of course, Blue.” Hugo watched him get in the car. He stood away from the car, intending to watch him pull out the parking spot before he walked to his motorbike. The only thing was, the car didn’t start. Varian opened the door again and jumped out.

He scratched the back of his head. “So…funny story…” He started.

Hugo interrupted him. “It won’t start?”

Varian nodded. “Yes…and I was wondering if you could help me jump start it?”

Hugo nodded. “Why don’t you just get a new one?”

Varian shrugged. “Never thought about it…Always thought it would be too much money.”

Hugo went behind the car and told the other go back in the driver’s seat.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Varian asked. Hugo nodded.

“I’m sure, you need to be pressing on the accelerator anyway.” Varian nodded. It was always surprising to Varian how strong Hugo was. He first noticed when he picked up a desk to move it at school. Under those clothes, wasn’t the scrawny boy most people thought of.

Though, even with the jump start, it wouldn’t go. Varian banged his head on the steering wheel. He really should’ve gotten a new car sooner.

Hugo walked up and knocked on the door. Varian rolled the window down as quickly he could. Hugo put his arms up and put his head in them.

“Still won’t start?”

Varian nodded sheepishly. Hugo sighed and waved his hand for Varian to get out. “Ok, get out.” He walked away from the door.

Varian rolled the window back up and jumped back out. “I’ll call the tow company.” Varian said. “And then my dad.”

Hugo nodded. “I’ll get you a ride. I doubt your dad would appreciate having to go back out. Especially on his off days.”

Varian nodded and took out his phone to call them. After he did, the two of them sat back at the bench they were at before.

The mall already closed, so the parking lot was almost completely empty and the lights were off. The only lights there were the street lamps. Varian looked up at the moon. The same moon he’d look at when he’s crying.

Maybe those old cultures were right about the moon being a goddess.

The towing company came sometime later. The two got up and walked to Hugo’s motorbike. Hugo held out the helmet to Varian.

"I don’t have two.” Hugo sat on the bike. Varian followed him and got on. Hugo started it. “Alright, hold on Blue.”

Varian tightened his legs on it and held on to the other’s waist loosely. The bike started out slow but then went faster once they got to the road.

Just to be an asshole, Hugo sped up then went painfully slow. No one was out so they weren’t putting themselves in danger too much. One moment when Hugo sped up, Varian had to hold on tighter just to not fall off.

Varian hit his shoulder. “Asshole!” He yelled over the rushing wind.

Hugo chuckled but flinched at the slap on his shoulder. “Oh, don’t be like that, Freckles.”

Eventually, Hugo turned into Varian’s street. When Hugo stopped in front of Varian’s house, the shorter one’s car was in the drive way and his father was on the porch. The man had a disappointed expression and his arms were crossed.

Varian could’ve sworn there was steam coming out of his ears.

Quirin walked into the house, leaving the two boys alone. Varian knew that look and quickly got up off the motorbike. He took off the helmet, his frizzed up a bit. Hugo chuckled as Varian blushed and fixed it.

After, he crossed his arms and looked at the ground. “Thank you. Even if my dad hates you…”

Hugo waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it.” He took the helmet from Varian and put it on. He put his foot on the accelerator. “Good night. See you Monday.”

Varian nodded. “Yeah, you too.”

Hugo drove away after that, leaving Varian alone in the driveway. He breathed in before he moved to go inside the house.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian got in the house and didn’t see his dad. He sighed and went to the stairs. Before he took the first step, he jumped at the familiar man’s stoic voice.

“Varian, I need to talk to you.”

The boy stopped in his tracks and turned around. His father sat down on the couch. Varian didn’t move to sit next to him.

“Why did I have to give 75 dollars to the tow company?”

He took a deep breath. “Imsorrythecarbrokedownandiwastextingyouaboutitbuthugoofferedmearideand-“ He rambled on before he was interrupted by his father.

“Ok, ok. Slow down. What happened?”

“The car broke down. I texted you, but maybe it didn’t send. Uhm…anyway, then Hugo offered me a ride.”

“Why was he there?”

Varian realized that his father knew he told a little white lie. “Sorry, I was with him too.”

“So not only did you lie to me, you broke my rules?”

“Yeah…”

Quirin sighed exasperatedly. “Fine, if you want to be with a murder’s son, have at it. But I can’t get you a new car or get that car fixed for quite a while. During that time period, you won’t leave this house unless for school. Understand?”

“But-“ Quirin cut him off again.

“No but’s. Just yes sir.”

The boy nodded. “Yes sir.”

Varian went back to his room and sat on his bed. This would be a long next few months.

Chapter Text

A red haired woman sat in a white padded room. Her white clothes swallowed her whole as she curled up on the bed. She looked to the side and saw a woman on the ground, muttering to herself and rocking. The woman was sobbing.

The red haired woman’s been there for a few months, and every day she would see this woman on the ground. The doctors took away her necklace and other weapons to fight against ghosts. The only thing that helped was prayer.

The red haired woman breathed in and brought her hands to her chest, whispering a prayer. Her lips stayed close to her fingers.

“The cross of Christ be with me, defend me in battle. Protect me from snares of the devil….” She repeated the prayer again.

The second time she said it, she jumped at the door opening. The woman on the floor was gone now. She curled up further when she noticed it was none other than her doctor.

“Ulla.” She greeted. Ulla glared.

“Donella.”

The white haired woman shook her head. “I need to talk to you.”

Ulla didn’t say anything but the other woman continued in. “You’ve been seeing people.”

“Donnie, stop bullshitting me. You know as much as me that the supernatural is real.”

She nodded. “I know. But you know that people don’t just think you’re crazy for that.”

The white haired woman brought up a chair and sat down. Ulla looked like she would pounce at her.

“I’m not crazy.” Ulla spitted out.

“Beg to differ, carrot head.”

Ulla hated that old name. When the two first met in college, Donella couldn’t ever remember her name so she called her that.

“You call me Ulla now.”

Donella leaned over. “Then you call me Donella.”

Ulla suddenly felt an urge to slap the woman. Just to get the long pale face away from her. But she knew that wouldn’t help. Donella stood back up straight and spoke again.

“You’ve been acting off and on.” She read off her clipboard. “Episodic Depression, Possible hallucinations.” She clicked her tongue. “Sounds like you’d really benefit from medicine.”

Ulla yelled at her, her voice was absorbed by the cushions on the wall. “I’m not taking your fucking pills!”

🐾🐾🐾

Varian looked out the window as his father drove him back to school.

Halloween was coming up in about a week and he was still on house arrest by his dad. Each day made him angrier and angrier. The moment Varian tried to talk about his situation with his dad, he was shut down. No matter how often he tried to defend Hugo, his dad wouldn’t listen.

They pulled into the parking lot. Him and his dad weren’t on talking terms, Varian didn’t want to hear what the other had to say. The two got out the car, Quirin went to get his lesson plans while Varian sped walked to the front doors of the school.

He felt uncomfortable being outside. Not because he’d be next to his dad, thought that was part of it, instead it was that he felt like he was watched. Every step and movement, he’d get the overwhelming feeling of paranoia.

Once he got inside, he went in the direction of his locker.

His locker was bland, like always. He never understood those kids who decorated it. He just felt like it was a waste of time. Get your things and go.

In the hallway, people were talking about plans for Halloween. Very few were thinking of trick or treating, most were planning parties. Varian barely ever did either for Halloween. When he was younger he’d dress up but thought it took too much energy now that he was older.

Plus, even if he wanted to do something, he couldn’t.

He was almost eighteen and he felt like he was fourteen again. Everyone else at that age went to hang out, some even went without parental permission. Meanwhile, Varian stayed in his room, reading his copy of Game of Thrones for the seventh time.

He understood why his father would be so mad. After all, Varian did lie to him. But Varian should have a little more freedom. He was going to college next year, for goodness sake.

Varian closed his locker door and turned. He saw his cousin standing talk and smiling. She raised her hand to ruffle his hair.

“Hey, little cousin!” She started calling him that since he was shorter than her.

“Hey, Amber.” He turned to the side and started walking. “How you feeling?” She was a little more excited then she would usually be.

“I’m great!” She wrapped her arm around his shoulders. “Guess what happened.”

“You’re parents discovered a gold mine?” Varian said jokingly. Really, what else could she be so happy about?

“No, I’m throwing a party!”

Oh, how great. He thought in his head sarcastically. “Your parents let you?”

“No, well not in the house. So instead it’ll be out by the lake.”

“Without parental vision?” Varian didn’t want to sound like a grouch, but it was slightly worrying. God, he was acting like his dad. Maybe he was getting older than he thought.

“It’ll be fine.” She waved it off. Varian sighed and let it go. He wouldn’t be there anyway.

Varian had to admit that he was a bit jealous of how lenient Amber’s parents were compared to his dad. Those sermons his father listened to, about how love was patient and kind, he seemed to not follow them. He was the least forgiving man that Varian knew.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian sat down at the table in his agriculture class. Ever since the fight with his dad, he’s been dreading to go to the class. It’s just one more hour and a half his father can observe his every motion. It wasn’t so bad before, but now he seemed to not have a single amount of freedom.

At least they would be doing something fun. The class would be growing different flowers. Which is why they were sitting at tables rather than the desks they were before.

He saw Hugo walk in and go to his assigned seat. They got a new seating chart, and his dad put Hugo far away.

Hugo smiled at the other, he didn’t wave in case Quirin would see. Varian smiled back and nodded.

His father walked in and talked about what they’d be doing. After, he took out a bunch of seeds and told everyone to get what they wanted.

Varian chose forget me nots, they were simple but he had a special place for them in his heart. When he was younger and his family stayed a little longer at church, he’d sneak away and go into the woods. He would pick the flowers that were there, which were almost always forget me nots. He’d make flower crowns out of them. It was ironic since after he made them, he’d give them to his mom.

If only Varian knew what would happen.

In the corner of the classroom was a box with LED lights above it. Varian assumed that’s where the plants would be. Since it was winter time, the sun would be out less so they were growing them inside. Varian asked why they were doing this in the Winter and not the Spring, his dad said he had something else planned for Spring.

After he buried the seeds in the soil, he put the pot in the box and sat back down. He looked at the clock and waited for the bell to ring.

Once the bell rang, he got out the class. He fully intended to get out of his dad’s sight for at least 10 minutes before he was forced back in the stifling car.

He was stopped by someone grabbing his wrist. He whipped around to see who it was.

“Damnit, Hugo.” He said when he saw the blonde. “Stop scaring me like that.”

“Sorry, again.” Hugo chuckled. “Walk me to the doors?”

Varian nodded. They walked through the hall. At lunch, Amber told the two about the party. She knew that Varian wouldn’t go, so she asked Hugo. He shrugged and said he’d think about it.

Varian, remembering that moment, turned his head to Hugo. “Are you really going to that party?” Varian knew how much Hugo hated loud noise and areas. But rock was fine, for whatever reason.

Hugo shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe. It won’t be in a house, so it won’t be as loud.”

“Would you go if I was there?”

Hugo nodded. “Oh, for sure.”

They got to the front doors and stopped. Varian turned to the other. “I don’t wanna get locked out so…”

Hugo nodded, he understood that completely. “Yeah, I get it.” They paused a little.

“How’s life with Big Brother?”

Varian chuckled. “Oh, great.” He said sarcastically. “I just love not having freedom.”

It was an ongoing joke they had. In English class, they were reading 1984. Hugo said one day that Quirin reminded him of Big Brother and they stuck with it. Varian knew it kinda took away from the story, but that’s why it was so funny. Because, for the millionth time, Hugo said something stupid.

“What if I gave you a ride?” Hugo asked. He really did feel bad for the other, he’d do anything to get the other to feel comfortable. “Give you some time away from Big Brother.”

Varian rolled his eyes. “You know how much he would love that.”

“Right, worth a try though.”

Varian looked at the people filtering out the building, going around them. They all seemed to want to leave the school, almost every one of the faces gave the two dirty looks. For some reason, he always forgot others existed when he was around Hugo. Varian shook his head and snapped out of it.

“Well, see you later.” Varian said, looking back at Hugo.

He nodded. “Yeah. Call you?”

Varian nodded. “I don’t have anything to do, so i’m always free.”

The taller one nodded and walked out the door, disappearing with the other people.

🐾🐾🐾

After that, he went back to his dad’s room to wait for him to finish getting his things together. They walked out about 30 minutes later.

Varian walked to the doors much faster than his dad, he just wanted to go home.

The drive home was completely silent, save for the quiet whirring of the engine. He didn’t put his own music on, since the car was playing some pretty good music. Not what he’d listen to, but better than Justin Timberlake.

They pulled into the driveway of their house. Varian was so relieved to see the window to his room again he almost prayed to say thank you. But he realized how dumb that would be, considering there were wars and other events that definitely needed God’s attention. Not a teen with a better than most life.

In the driveway, he saw the familiar dog that’s always been following him. The dog jumped up and down when it saw the car. The car stopped and Varian got out. He held his textbook close to his chest.

The dog barked and spun around. Varian took a step forward.

“Hi,” He pet the dog. “How are you?”

The dog jumped up and put it’s paws on his chest. Varian shook his head as the dog’s muddy paws touched the textbook.

“No, no. Get down.” The dog listened and got down. Varian groaned a little at the mud on the pages. The dog looked like it felt bad. Varian sighed.

“Do your owners really appreciate you coming home with muddy paws?”

The dog woofed and spun around. Quirin got his things and walked next to Varian. He yelled at the dog and waved his hands.

“Go! We don’t have food!”

The dog looked angry, and almost pouted but ran away. Varian looked at his dad annoyedly. He didn’t get why his dad was always mean to animals. His father loved nature, but he was mean to creatures.

He moved to the door and walked in the moment his dad unlocked it.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian walked into his room and moved to his bed. He took out a book to read, waiting for the call Hugo had promised.

He went to a random page in the book, trying to find the page he left off on. He never used bookmarks, he could usually remember what page he was on without them. Although, he should probably start using them. Just so that it’s easier to find the page number. It would especially be helpful for big books like the one he was holding.

He loved reading, his mother used to read him books until he would go to sleep. Now he couldn’t go a day without reading something. He liked learning too, something else he got from his mom. At least when it came to STEM subjects, he still hated learning about History.

He read until the Sun went down, which wasn’t too long of a time to read, but it was a long time to wait for a call. It was Fall so the Sun went down sooner.

He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to that call.

Varian didn’t mind if he ended up not calling, but it wasn’t like Hugo to say something like that and not do it. Varian also really wanted to hear his voice.

Varian got off his bed, putting the book back. He walked to the window, climbing into the nook.

Varian sat on the cushions, looking outside through the window. The curtains were drawn behind him, hiding him from anyone who walked in the room. He curled up in the blanket he kept by the window. Sometimes he liked to fall asleep by the window, looking up at the moon.

He always liked looking outside, to watch the animals, the plants, or to just look. Although, in the moonlight, he couldn’t see as much, he still looked at the stars. He would probably be looking at the sky even if it was light out. He didn’t like to see the dead plants that he usually saw around this time of year.

It was one of the many reasons he hated Winter. It was freezing constantly, and with their heater always running it would break at some points. Then the nature turned gray, loading all it’s colors. It was just…so sad to him.

He jumped as a drop of a liquid went down. His eyebrow furrowed, there hadn’t been any rain lately. He looked up at where it came from.

There on the highest branch was a figure. His eyes widened. They were hanging by their neck. Their body was a canvas of blood and cuts, and their skin was sickly blue. There was a cut where the rope dug deep in their neck and arms and legs were mutilated. Their hair was long and went down past their knees.

This was where the tree that his mother hung herself on. The one before, his father cut it down. They planted a new one in place of the other since it was too bare without it.

He screamed and jumped out of the nook. He ran to the trash and threw up. Never in his life had he seen that much blood and gore. His fear for blood didn’t really help much either.

He panicked and hyperventilated as he rushed to run to the door. His heart was beating two times faster and his brain was racing with thoughts. He needed to know who hurt that person.

He reached the door and heard the dog barking. He cautiously walked back to the window, maybe he could find the killer. When he peeked through the window, he saw the dog that was following him barking at the tree. When he looked at the tree, he saw nothing. Not even the dead body.

Now he knew he was going crazy.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian sat back on his bed, his thoughts bouncing off the inside of his head. What could that possibly be? He couldn’t get the look of the thick crimson liquid going down the sickeningly pale skin.

He could’ve been being pranked. It was almost Halloween after all.

He shook his head, that couldn’t be it. It just looked to real to be a doll and fake blood. The liquid was too thick, the limbs were too life like. If it was a prank, then who ever did it must’ve spent a lot of money.

Then what could it have been if not a prank? Ghosts were out of the question (although, with the way that the woman that he saw sometimes looked, Varian felt a little more like praying.)

Not a prank, for sure not ghosts, so maybe a trick of the brain? He was just paranoid. He didn’t feel like he could trust himself anymore.

He bent over on the bed, laying his head down on the pillow. He was starting to feel more and more sick as he thought about the body. If it was a prank, it was a sick one that a very bad person would pull. And if it wasn’t a prank, and it was a real mutilated corpse, then he was just ‘lucky.’

Varian must’ve done something real bad if Satan, or God, sent something like that to him.

He was stopped from his racing thoughts with the sound of his dad yelling for him to get dinner. He knew the whole time that dinner would be ready pretty soon. He could smell the aroma of the food coming from downstairs.

He sighed and went down the stairs, feeling a slight more comfort at the crosses around him. Usually, when he felt scared, the feeling that something above was there would comfort him. Other times it was downright mortifying, the thought that something so powerful was up there. And through all the times something horrible had happened to him, he never felt the light people explained.

He just felt something dark pulling him closer, the coldness of it putting him on edge.

Right now, he felt safe. He felt the warmth compared to the icy fingers of the Devil.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian got more paranoid as the week went on. He couldn’t tell anyone, what was he supposed to say? That he saw a corpse in the window and the next second he didn’t? No one would believe him. After all, how would you move a corpse in 5 minutes tops?

He moved more and more distant from his friends. Hugo still ran to his side though, being his usual self. Hugo could never leave Varian alone, and Varian could never leave him alone.

Soon, the weekend came. Due to the paranoia, he had no plans.

Varian sat on the couch of the living room, reading his book. He needed to be in the room. He needed to be around the little angel statues and the crosses.

He still didn’t believe in that but it felt comforting in that moment.

He turned the page and looked behind him when he heard the front door open. His dad went to the store earlier in the day, so he expected it to be him.

His father walked into the living room with grocery bags. He looked a little shocked from something, but he clearly kept his composure.

“Go get the rest of the groceries.”

Varian nodded and shut the book. He got up. “Yes, sir.”

Once he got the other groceries, Varian moved to back inside. The groceries were pretty heavy since half of the products in there were metal or cardboard. His father never bought plastic things, since he knew that there were places full of trash because of non recyclables. And most people didn’t recycle plastic. He never could figure out a way to.

Varian hated that some people (ahem, the president) made protecting the planet political.

Varian locked the car and walked in the house. He put the keys and the groceries on the counter. He went back to the couch to read while his dad put the things away.

Varian didn’t realize how bad Quirin was shaking.

When Quirin finished putting the things away, he went back to living room. “Varian, we’re going to church tomorrow.”

Varian was a little surprised at that. They didn’t go to church often. They used to, but after Ulla died, he stopped. Quirin felt like he felt close enough to God without having to get up and worry about looking nice at 9:00 am. He preferred to spend his Sundays resting.

So Varian knew that something had to be wrong if his dad wanted to go to Sunday service.

He didn’t voice any of those concerns. Partly because he thought it wouldn’t matter, but mostly because he needed it too. Even if he didn’t listen to the sermon, he would stay there to feel safe.

Varian nodded. “Ok.”

Varian didn’t mind that he’d have to wake up early on Sundays, he woke up early every day.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian woke up at the usual time he did on Sundays. Only this time, instead of getting up and making breakfast, he got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

He put on his button up and jeans, he figured that was about as nice he was going to get. He didn’t like to church, everyone in town knew about his mother and he was tired of hearing the ‘God is with you’s and the ‘I’m sorry to hear about your mother’s. It’s been half a decade since she died, people didn’t need to be stepping around eggshells around him.

He wondered what made his dad want to go to church.

Varian went out the bathroom, walking down the stairs to the kitchen. It was almost time to go. Varian was waiting a little bit when his dad came down wearing nicer clothes.

Quirin looked at Varian’s clothes for awhile, clearly annoyed with the fact that he was wearing jeans. Varian looked down at them.

“Dad, come on, God won’t cast me out because I decided to wear polyester.”

“Let’s just go, we have about 15 minutes until it starts.”

Varian nodded. They both walked out and to the car. If they left early enough they could walk but they were already running late. They rushed in and Quirin pulled out the driveway.

The drive was a little too quiet, so Varian asked a question. “Why did you want to go to church this weekend?”

“I,” His father paused. “I’ve been out of it.” Quirin glanced at Varian. Quirin could see the eyebags clearly, he always had them but never this bad. “You have, too.”

Varian looked out the window, trying to cover his face. “No, I haven’t. I’ve been fine.”

“You really shouldn’t keep this up, go to bed earlier.” He turned into the parking lot of the parish. “Not many people I know like eyebags.”

Varian rolled his eyes and thought ‘Hugo does.’

Varian and Quirin walked into the building. It hadn’t been remodeled since it was built in the 80s. It had a sort of musty smell to it, with a mix of cleaning supplies and wax. He walked through the hall into the nave. Varian felt the eyes of the people he grew up around.

Miss Crowley in the corner, looking just as angry as ever. He knew she wasn’t mad, she was actually a sweet woman. Monty in the other corner, playing with one of the children in the room.

Out of all these old and young people, there was only one person his age.

Faith sat at the front praying. Her father was next to her, opening the hymn. Varian didn’t go up to her, even though she knew she didn’t mind when she’s interrupted with something like that. Varian knew it was rude. Instead, he waited for the sermon to be over.

Varian grew up with Faith, the two were inseparable. They were like siblings. Then Faith started going to private schools when Varian went to public schools. Then Varian stopped going to church so often and they only spoke on Easter and Christmas.

The good thing with her was that no matter how long you stopped talking to her, she’d still treat you like her best friend.

Varian sat down in the very back with his dad. His dad was too tall to be in the front. He’d be blocking everyone’s view of the Reverend. His father put his hands together and prayed. Varian didn’t try to move. He knew the praying was optional, so he didn’t try. He liked to talk to God (or whatever was there) alone, and he only talked in very rare circumstances.

He felt that he should definitely try to pray though. Maybe he wouldn’t be so paranoid if he had tried.

He looked around the nave. There was a tall organ, going up the walls the wood carvings. To the sides were stained glass windows. A window of Mary holding a baby was right next to him.

Behind him was a statue of Jesus on the cross. The shadow of the statue stretching across the aisle. Something about it was almost off putting. He always felt that way about that statue.

Whoever designed this church didn’t do so very well. Who would put something like that in the back?

The service started soon after.

Varian only participated in the singing, like usual. When he was younger, he was in the choir. When the reverend started talking, Varian stared at the ceiling of the parish. He would’ve cared to listen, since usually the man said something good.

He just didn’t want to at the moment.

Varian thought about everything in his life. He was broken from his thoughts when his dad got up. Varian rushed to stand as they moved to the front room. That room usually had a ton of cookies and whatnot.

Varian really wished he was little again. When they stayed after services, he could just sneak off into the woods. Faith would usually follow him too.

But now they were both 17, almost 18. Now they both had to stay for the boring parts.

When he got to the room, Varian was stopped by his dad as they turned to talk to the reverend. Quirin laughed and smiled as he shook the other’s hand. The reverend held out his hand to Varian. The boy didn’t know what else to do so he shook his hand.

The reverend gestured his hand out to the table with all the sweets. Varian looked over there and saw Faith stuffing her face with juice and sugar cookies. It was a little bit funny, the crumbs going down to her nice dress. She blushed and cleaned herself off, walking over.

The reverend wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “She’s really grown since the last time you saw her.”

“It’s only been 6 months.” Faith said, rolling her eyes.

Quirin chuckled. “You don’t notice it, but you grow everyday.”

The reverend nodded and looked at Varian. “Yeah, you have grown too. Got some more muscle.”

Varian shrugged. “Really? I don’t notice.”

Varian laughed awkwardly and told his dad he’d get something to eat. He walked to the table, not noticing the girl following him. He got a sugar cookie and jumped when someone touched his shoulder.

He turned quickly and relaxed when it was Faith. “Jeez, you scared me.”

She laughed a little. “Oh, sorry.” She walked up to next to him. “Didn’t know I was so scary.”

Varian smiled. “Did you finally get that game you were asking for on your birthday?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I needed a little convincing but he let me buy it in the end.”

Varian couldn’t remember what the game was called, but he remembered the explanation of it. Fourth game of a franchise, something about a guy being stuck in a room and there’s some kind of cult. Varian was surprised that Faith’s father let her get it, considering he was a reverend.

Although, he was a lot more open minded. The man understood that the game was nothing more than a story and wouldn’t drive her away from her faith. He also converted to episcopalian, so he was used to things like that. It was the reason he could be a reverend even with a daughter.

Varian poured some orange juice in a cup. He could feel some people’s eyes on him, and it was making him very on edge. Faith seemed to notice this and touched his shoulder.

“Do you want to go outside?”

He nodded and they walked out into the front. The front of the church had a garden with a bench around it. Varian sat down on the bench around the roses and the other flowers. Faith sat down in the grass in front of him, probably trying to look for a ladybug or rollie pollie to cheer him up.

She spoke up, since obviously she wasn’t finding one. But she wasn’t giving up. “Are you ok?”

Varian nodded from where his head was in
hands. His elbows dug into his knees. “I’m fine, I just,” He paused. “Why do they look at me like that when I come here?”

Faith shrugged. “Looking like you do now probably doesn’t help.” She gestured to how tired he looked.

“I know…it’s just been hard to sleep.”

“Why?” She stopped looking for a bug and looked at him. That worried her, this whole time she’s been around Varian, she felt like something very bad would happen. She knew she was safe with him, so she assumed something bad would happen to him. Now he was saying he couldn’t sleep.

“It’s…crazy.”

“It can’t be that crazy. Just tell me.”

Varian sighed. “I just,” He ran his hands through his hair. “I saw something inexplainable the other night. I thought it was a prank, but it was too real.”

“And you’ve been paranoid?” He nodded. She got up and walked over to sit next to him. She thought a little bit. “I would say ‘you should pray,’ but sometimes praying won’t get you anywhere.”

Varian could feel that first hand. “So what should I do?”

Faith looked at him. “Well, what did you see?”

Varian wondered if he should tell the truth. He decided against it. “I…can’t say. I’m not even sure if that was just my brain making me see it or not.”

Faith understood that. “Well, hope for the best. Do whatever makes you comfortable.”

That didn’t help Varian at all it seemed. Faith frowned a bit and went back to looking for a bug. When Varian was younger, he loved all types of bugs. Caterpillars, ladybugs, bees, (especially bees) and a lot more. The only ones he hated were centipedes (nothing should have that many legs), mosquitoes, and flies.

Eventually, Faith found one and turned to look back at him. During the search, she ended up on the ground again. She got up and ran over.

“Varian, look,” She waited until he looked up. “It’s a ladybug.”

Varian laughed. “Aw, he’s cute.”

She gave him the grass with the bug on it. He played around with it. “This isn’t a ladybug though.”

Faith shook her head. “What do you mean?”

“It’s an Asian Beetle.” He pointed to the outer shell. “Too orange.”

Faith made a little ‘o’ with her mouth. "I didn’t know that.”

Varian shrugged. “It’s fine, they’re still cute. They’re a little more aggressive but the pincers don’t hurt anyone.”

After a little while of the two talking, Varian heard the front door of the parish open. Quirin walked out the door and went to Varian. The beetle flew off when it heard the sound.

“Varian, are you ready?”

Varian nodded and stood up with Faith.

“Hey, Varian?”

He looked back at her before he walked off. “Yeah?”

“Stay safe, ok?”

Varian didn’t know why she said that, but it wasn’t hard to infer that it was because she thought he was in danger. Varian didn’t think he was, at least not life threatening danger. Varian nodded. “I will, you too.”

She nodded. “See you…Christmas?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Bye, Faith.”

Chapter Text

White room, fluorescent lights, and the suffocating feeling of being trapped. That’s all that Ulla felt and saw as she sat on the cot in ‘her’ room.

Each day became longer and longer. That and they just mixed into a blurry mess of boredom and anger. They didn’t let her leave much, unless it was for group therapy. She still felt like she shouldn’t be there, she was even let go from the hospital.

But somehow, she came back.

People thought she was crazy, they said it was her mind playing tricks on her. She’s always struggled with mental health, so no many believed her when she said that. The doctors diagnosed her with Bipolar and Schizophrenia. She believed only one was true.

She assumed the only reason they thought of Schizophrenia was because she said that she saw ghosts. Bipolar made sense, psychologists she went to before being here said she showed symptoms. But, it wasn’t so bad she needed to be in an almost secluded room. The only way she knew what time it was was from the checkups and the position of the sun or moon in the sky.

In fact, being here was making it worse.

That must be why they insisted on giving her those damned pills that made her feel numb.

Though, through all of thoughts and feelings, what really hurt was that the one person who should believe her didn’t.

She laid down and looked at the window at a bird feeding her babies. She really wished she could turn into a bird, and fly back to her baby boy. Much like these mama birds do everyday in front of her window. But she assumed even a bird can be trapped.

Ulla turned over and laid her head on her pillow. She wished it was her husband.

She looked at the door as it opened to see one of the nurses come in. It was the same one that came in always. In her hands were a bottle and a small plastic bottle of water.

“Hi, sleep ok?” The woman was nice to her always. Ulla tried her best to be pleasant back.

“Fine, are you going to give me those pills again?”

“Well, I have to, Miss.” She poured out 4 and held them out. “Doctor Rottewange told me you need them.”

Donella Rottewange was her psychologist. Donella, of all people, should know she didn’t belong here. At least sge thought so. Apparently the other woman didn’t. The group therapies she set up with the patients never worked, it just made her feel more and more like a fish out of water.

“I don’t. What I need is out of here.”

She sighed and forced the pills into her hand. “Please, just take them.” She said desperately. Ulla understood the desperation, it was her job to ensure she did what she was supposed to after all. Who knows what would happen if she didn’t do her job.

She brought one to her mouth and swallowed it. Then drank water. She repeated with the others. After she was done, she smiled at her. Although it didn’t look very genuine. “Better?”

She nodded. “Thank you.” She noticed the way Ulla ooked in her eyes. This woman really did need to leave. She couldn’t do that but she could arrange for her to call home.

Ulla said yes to the offer. After the nurse left, the woman laid back on the bed. She really should be more excited, but it felt impossible.

🐾🐾🐾

Ulla fell asleep on the bed and woke up in the middle of the night to the door opening and the small sound of dress shoes against the ground. The figure went o stand above Ulla. Ulla turned her head, her fists clenched. She didn’t know who it was, but whoever it was, they were a creep.

She stopped when she saw it was Donella. Donella noticed she woke up and jumped a little. Ulla got up to sit on the bed.

“What are you doing here?”

“Check up.”

“I thought the nurses did that.”

She noticed her mistake and looked to the side. “Well,” She paused, trying to look for an excuse. “You got me.”

“Damn right.” She rubbed it in her face. “But why are you here, actually?”

“I needed to tell you that you won’t be secluded like this much longer.”

“Why?”

“Being in here doesn’t help you, I convinced my boss to put you in less…surveillance.”

“I’m not going to be able to leave though, am I?”

Donella shook her head. “No, not until you’re better.”

“I am better.”

“People will always think you’re crazy unless you stop thinking ghosts are real.”

“But they are. And some of them are dangerous.”

Donella rolled her eyes. “You need to stop acting like a hero. Leave the demon hunting to priests.” She paused. “You have a son now to worry about too. You really think your son wants to travel around so you can ghost hunt through the country.”

“Your son needs you, Ulla. If you stop believing, you’ll leave faster.”

“I can’t just ignore it.”

Donella sighed. “Just…please.” She looked desperate. It was moments like these that made her remember that she cared.

Ulla couldn’t forget about her sweet baby boy. He turned 6 years old, she hoped she could be home for his 7th birthday.

But first she needed to not lose her mind.

“Fine.”

🐾🐾🐾

Varian sat on his bed before school. It was almost the end of the month, one day to Halloween. That meant that everybody was out buying candy, or last minute costumes.

While Varian had to stay in his room and at school.

Varian moved to get up and get his bag when he saw it was 8:00. His dad was probably waiting for him.

Varian for the past week has been more and more scared to leave his room. In the corner of his eye, he swears he sees someone following him and the feeling of being watched had gotten worse. At first he thought it was the dog, but the dog usually made it’s presence known.

Then he started thinking it was a killer or something and he felt scared to leave. He did see a dead body last week. Or he thought he did.

He was scared to tell anyone as well because if he did, he knew not many would believe him. He couldn’t explain a body, that high on a branch, disappearing within 3 minutes.

Instead he spent his time praying. Maybe if he did that, he wouldn’t be so worried.

🐾🐾🐾

At school, like clockwork, the kids were talking about costumes and stuff that other plans. There were a few kids going to Amber’s party. She was fairly popular in the school, which Varian thought was surprising since when he came out, people made fun of him even more. But he supposed that he was always made fun of, he was the freak with the crazy mom.

He closed his locker and went to his first period. He didn’t have a single friend in there, which he didn’t mind, so he sat down and stared out the window. There were dark clouds in the sky, and it was freezing again. Varian didn’t know what he expected today; the radio said they had a slight chance of snow.

Varian hated snow. He wished he could be like everyone else and like it. He was perpetually cold and clumsy, so being in the snow and ice was terrible. Another reason he hated Winter.

The class was annoying as ever, the teacher yelling at the class because the students wouldn’t stop talking. He hated school. No one took it seriously, and he barely learned anything because the teacher had to stop and scream at the two boys in the back talking about…he didn’t even wanna know.

And then they wonder why they don’t understand anything.

It’s easy to assume that he was overjoyed to leave.

He went through third then went to lunch.

Varian was tired of being in school, he couldn’t stand the monotony of the days. It seemed like it was wake up, go to school, go home, repeat. Not that he’d be doing much if he wasn’t in school, but at least he wouldn’t be around idiots that spend more time trying to cheat then study.

Just because he liked learning didn’t mean he liked school too.

His friends sat down at the table sometime later. Hugo sat with his other friends that day.

“I bet I could convince your dad to let you go.” Amber said. She felt bad that he’d be left alone for Halloween.

“It’s fine, I wouldn’t go either way.” Even if Hugo was there, he thought.

Varian asked if Hugo would really be there. Amber nodded.

Varian sighed a bit. He wanted to now, but he knew it was a spur of the moment thing. He’d only go if he really felt like it.

🐾🐾🐾

After school, Varian and Hugo met by the bathrooms to walk to the front doors together. Varian found Hugo by the boy’s bathroom door. He moved over to the taller boy.

“Hey, Blue.” Hugo met him halfway and fixed his hair. “Anything new?”

Varian loved when he did that. He shrugged and looked at the ground. “Sure you know the answer to that.”

Hugo nodded, understanding what Varian was trying to say. “Me too.”

The two started to walk to the front doors. “Are you really going to the party? Amber said you were.”

Hugo looked at the other boy when he asked that. “Oh well…y’know.” He shrugged. “Thought it’d be fun. Free beer.”

Varian whipped his head around at that. “She didn’t mention any alcohol.”

“Oh I know, but knowing high schoolers, someone will bring beer.”

Varian laughed at that. “And that’s why I’m not going.”

“You hate alcohol?”

Varian nodded. “Makes people stupid. And it tastes bitter.”

They made it to the doors. The two turned and Hugo hugged him. “See you tomorrow.”

Varian nodded while blushing a little. Hugo always hugged really tight. “Yeah…You too.”

Hugo let go and walked out the door, leaving Varian blushing and hugging himself as he walked back to his dad.

🐾🐾🐾

The next day was Halloween. Like always, he was stuck inside and watching the kids trick or treat.

The sun hadn’t gone down yet, but there was still plenty of people out. He thought it was weird that people were even outside. The snow didn’t come yesterday like the weather stations were saying, so instead they were saying that it would come today. Varian didn’t know about anyone else, but he’d much rather be curled up with a mug of hot cocoa in case of snow.

Speaking of hot cocoa, he should probably get some more.

Varian got up from his blanket by the window and picked up the mug on the desk. He walked to the door of his bedroom then started to go down the stairs.

He got to the kitchen and saw his dad on the house phone. He was smiling, maybe to make his voice sound nicer. Varian never saw him smile, not since his mom died. But his smile never looked faked like that.

Varian walked past and listened to the conversation. He filled the cup from the pot full of heated water, milk, and cocoa powder.

“He’s old enough to decide for himself.” His father said finally. Then he turned and looked at Varian.

“Who was that?” Varian asked.

“Your cousin.” The man replied. “She was trying to convince me to let you go.”

Varian rolled his eyes. “I told her she didn’t have to.”

“I don’t know why she thought she needed to do that.” The man said exasperated and sat down. “Sweet girl but she has no authority in how I raise you.”

Varian put the cup down, wincing as the hot liquid dripped down to his hand. He walked to get a napkin. “She wouldn’t be saying anything if you gave me a little more freedom.” He muttered.

Quirin, used to hearing his mutters, picked it up immediately. "Are you arguing with me?”

Varian turned and snarled at him. “You know what? Maybe I am!” He threw the cloth napkin to the side. “I’m 17! Why am I locked up?”

“You aren’t locked up. You can still go out.” Quirin was always good at staying calm. It pissed Varian off immeasurably. Because after, Quirin would say that it was just ‘teen hormones’ instead of an actual problem.

“Only if you’re with me!” He clenched his fists and crossed his arms over his chests. “Do you ever think that maybe I want some privacy?”

Quirin sighed. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“No, you’re telling me right now. I’m not a kid anymore. I’ll be an adult in 5 months.”

“Varian…” Quirin moved closer, making sure to stand over him. “I can’t tell you.”

Varian shrunk a little from the taller man but scoffed. He took his cup of hot chocolate and moved past his dad. “Fine, I’ll stay here forever.”

For his father’s credit, he did look like he felt bad. But Varian didn’t feel sympathy for yelling at him. It was his fault after all.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian sat at the nook. He’s been here for about 30 minutes, thinking over what he said to his dad.

The sun was just now staring to set, but no one could see it through the rain clouds. He wondered if Amber’s party was still going on, since it was obviously going to snow. At the very least it was cold.

Not that he wanted to go to the party, but if he snuck out in order to spite his dad, no one would be surprised.

That thought stayed with him, volleying off every corner and bouncing off into more ideas on how he would sneak out. None of the ideas made sense. It was like the dvd logo screen that never quite touched the corner.

He found an idea that he thought would work. He untangled from the blankets and went to get his jacket. He put on his shoes and a pair of gloves.

He snuck down the stairs and past his dad’s room to go out the back door. Varian was almost surprised how easy it was. He didn’t say that though, knowing his luck. As he passed the cross on the wall, he gently took it off the wall.

He wanted to ensure he was safe.

He grabbed the door handle and walked out to the back yard. Then he ran like hell.

He ran through the bushes and jumped the fence so that he was in the alley. He didn’t pay attention to the looks he got from the kids on the street and flipped open his phone.

He called Hugo’s contact. The phone picked up immediately.

“Hello?” Varian was happy that Hugo was always quick to answer.

“Are you at the party yet?” Varian pushed his way through the crowd. His neighborhood was known as the houses that gave king-size chocolate bars.

Hugo sounded like he was putting something on. Was that a belt in the background? “I’m about to go, getting dressed.”

Varian blushed a little at that. “And,” He paused. “You picked up the phone?”

Hugo laughed. “Sounds a little weirder now that I said it.”

He got away from the crowd, so he wasn’t having to hold it close to his ear. “Yeah.” He smiled. “It’s your a millionth and first time saying something stupid.”

“What was my millionth?”

“‘Big brother is watching.’” He said, mocking his tone and making his voice deeper so that it sounded like the other’s voice.

Varian talked with him until Hugo got on his motorbike.

“Are you going to the party now?” Hugo asked.

Varian assumed that it would sound like he’s going if he’s asking if anyone else will. “Yeah…” He nodded, even though Hugo couldn’t see him. “Needed to get out.”

There was a sound of the engine starting before Hugo said over the noise. His voice sounded much closer to the phone.

“See you there, Blue.”

Varian said ‘you too’ and hung up the phone.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian got to the party. It took a little long, considering how far it was from his house.

The cold had gotten worse now that the Sun was almost down. He really should’ve brought a flashlight, instead he brought a cross. Not a very good choice.

He walked until he heard some music. He walked towards the music and found a bonfire in a little clearing by the road. There were two plenty of people there, dancing a little to the beat. Varian looked around a little and a little and, of course, found beer.

He almost felt the urge to run, all these people made him nervous. Instead, he bit his lip and squeezed the wood cross in his pocket then walked forward to the people.

He couldn’t believe that people were out. He had gloves and a big jacket on and he was still freezing. Meanwhile there were these girls in little shorts and crop tops. Made them look dumb and was completely impractical.

Sometimes he swore he wasn’t bisexual.

He walked closer to the fire. He warmed up a bit, but not much. It really was freezing.

He wondered if the reason why no one was cold was because of the beer.

He closed his eyes and got comfy. The moment he did, he felt someone push him forward. He gasped and flailed his arms. He was caught in someone’s arms before he got scorched alive. He looked up at who caught him.

“Are you ok?” Said Hugo, furrowing his eyebrows and putting the other down.

Varian nodded. “Thank you.” He pointed his finger at the other. “Were you the one who pushed me?”

Hugo shook his head. “No, some guy bumped into you.”

Varian narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You better not be lying. If you are, I’m beating your ass.”

Hugo laughed. “I swear I’m not.”

Varian sighed. “Fine. I believe you.” and walked past Hugo. Hugo followed him to the tree stumps with the beer cans.

Hugo raised his eyebrow as Varian picked one up. “What happened to ‘alcohol is gross?’”

Varian opened the can. “Heard alcohol warms you up.” Varian knew that wasn’t true. It was just the blood vessels dilating and the blood flowing closer to the skin.

Hugo shook his head. “Technically not true.”

Varian rolled his eyes. Hugo could be such a smart ass sometimes. “Yeah, I know that.” He took a small sip of it and started coughing. “Oh, that’s terrible.” He said, raspy.

The other chuckled a little and picked up his own can of beer. “Thought you knew it was bitter?”

“It’s worse now.” Varian still held it close.

The two talked a little longer until Varian finished his can. They got a few other cans later and the two were laughing like crazy. Almost the loudest people at the party.

They both got done laughing at another dumb joke they made up. If they were sober, it wouldn’t make sense. Hugo laid his head on Varian’s knee. Sometime throughout it, Hugo sat down on the ground and Varian sat on a tree stump. Hugo looked up at the other.

“You wanna go somewhere else?” Hugo didn’t seem that drunk, Varian didn’t either. But Varian felt loopy and kept laughing at seemingly nothing.

Varian nodded. “Sure.”

Hugo got up and held out his hand for the other. Varian took it and got up. As he did, the cross fell out of his pocket. Hugo noticed and caught it midair. He looked at the cross confusedly and back at Varian.

“Ironic that you brought a cross to a party.” He said and put it back in Varian’s hands.

“I just wanted to be safe.” Varian responded as he put it in his pocket. Then he stood next to Hugo, putting his head on the other’s shoulder and held on tight to his hand.

They walked to the trees, sitting down in the grass. They made sure to not go too far from the party. The two laid down in the plush grass, staring up at the stars. Varian wondered, at least he would’ve if he was completely sober, if Amber and Nuru did this too.

From the dark quiet night sounded the music and people yelling. Even through these sounds, Varian and Hugo felt the world was empty save for the crickets and themselves. They wouldn’t mind if they were, they’d finally be alone.

Varian cuddled up closer to him, curling up. He was still really cold. Hugo hugged him gently. In the moonlight, Hugo could just barely see the dark head of hair.

Varian looked up when he felt someone looking at him. He looked at him, like he was in a trance.

Hugo was able to ignore it for a little while, Varian was strange and he knew that. Eventually though, Hugo had to say something. “You’re looking at me like a deer in the headlights.”

Varian’s cheeks got even redder, previously flushed from the alcohol. He hid his face. “You have eyeliner.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well, it’s pretty.”

Hugo chuckled. He felt bad about how loose lipped he was. Varian got a lot more drunk than the other. Which Hugo thought was weird because no one he knew had a worse alcohol tolerance than him. But Varian was a miracle.

For more reasons than one.

“Thank you.” The other said when he realized he was quiet for a little too long.

Somehow, Varian fell asleep in the grass. Hugo was worried that he passed from drinking, or maybe he got too cold. But Varian seemed comfy and his heartbeat was regular so Hugo left him be.

That comfort didn’t last long when he saw the tell tale red and blue lights traveling through the trees. Hugo rolled his eyes. Everything ruined his moments with Varian.

He shook the other awake. “Varian, wake up.” He said gently. He could’ve just picked him up but he didn’t want Varian to freak out when he woke up somewhere he didn’t remember going to.

It took a little while but Varian woke up. He jumped from where he was, obviously not so tipsy anymore. His eyes widened as he saw the lights. “Oh shit!”

He rushed to get up along side Hugo. Hugo grabbed some of the trash, he was still not littering even if he was running from the police. “Yeah, oh shit!” Varian took the cross out of his pocket so it wouldn’t fall out. Hugo grabbed the other’s arm and ran. “Come on!”

The two ran until their lungs hurt and stopped by Varian’s neighborhood. Varian gained his breath back and shook his head. “No, I don’t want to go back home right now.”

Hugo didn’t want to ask and just led them home.

🐾🐾🐾

Hugo really wished he ran to his motorbike. Now his feet were hurting and he was having to hold a tipsy and nauseated Varian to his house. Well, not necessarily tipsy. Each time he threw up, he got less and less drunk.

Eventually, they made it to Hugo’s house. It was completely dark and they could barely see anything. They stumbled into the front door after Hugo unlocked with the key he, luckily, had.

They walked in and they went to walk up the stairs. They were stopped by Donella’s voice.

“Did you get stopped by the police?”

Hugo turned around. He waved his hand. “Psh…No.” He was clearly lying, and Donella could see right through it. “Why would we? There was no alcohol.”

Donella pointed at Varian almost passed out in his arms. “No alcohol? Then why is he passed out?”

“He got tired?”

Donella shook her head. “I hope he knows that he’ll wake up here tomorrow.”

“He does. I was going to take him home but he didn’t want to.”

She muttered under her breath then spoke a little louder. “Ok, put him in the guest room.”

Hugo nodded and did as he was told. When he put Varian on the bed in the room, he got back up to walk to his own room. He was stopped when the other grabbed his wrists.

“Wait,” He said silently. “I wanna talk to you still.”

Hugo smiled as he said that. “Ok, I’m here.” He moved to sit next to him on the bed. The light he was about to turn off was just barely light enough to see Varian’s face.

Hugo waited for Varian to talk. He knew how hard it was to gather thoughts when you’re dizzy. Varian spoke after a little.

“I’m happy I went tonight.” He curled up and started to untie his shoe laces.

“I am too.” Varian took off his shoes and laid down. Hugo followed. “Why did you anyway?”

Varian shrugged. “Wanted to spite my dad. Show him he couldn’t keep me there.”

The other nodded. “Because he isn’t giving you freedom?”

“Yeah, also because he hates you.”

“He hates me?”

“A lot.”

He raised his eyebrow and laid on his side. “You went to the party so you could piss your dad off?”

“Yeah.” Varian nodded. “Speaking of that, I know a perfect way to piss him off.”

“And what’s that?”

Varian didn’t respond and moved a little closer. He didn’t know what exactly he was trying to do, but he knew the baseline. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. Hugo realized what he was doing and leaned in as well.

Their lips touched as gently as possible. It only last a few seconds, it that, but it was the best few seconds they both felt.

After they pulled away, the two went right back in for another. That repeated a few more times. After a while, they were out of breath and laid back on the bed.

They knew that they should talk about how they felt for eachother, but that’s the last thing they wanted. Instead they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

They’d chock this all up to the two of them being drunk and irrational. And maybe someday, they’d be together.

🐾🐾🐾

Ulla sat in her cot, anticipating the moment that Donella would come back with the good news.

Ulla was confused on why Donella was trying so hard to make things better for her. All she’s been is rotten to the other woman, for good reason, but still. Sometimes she felt bad for the way she acted, but she was known for being ‘dramatic’ and ‘irrational.’

Donella came by every day now. Something that also bothered Ulla. She shouldn’t be so angry about what happened between them still, but it’s hard to think that a few years ago they hated eachother. Now the other woman was willing to, basically, risk her job for her.

It was weird.

The door of the room opened. Like Ulla was expecting, it was her doctor.

Donella sat down by the cot. She looked a bit more happy then usual. No one else could see it, but to Ulla, it was clear as day how happy she was. The woman got used to deciphering the other woman’s micro expressions.

“Ulla, I have great news.”

Ulla’s eyes lit up as she leaned in closer. When Donella saw that, she kept talking.

“I’ve been able to convince the state to-“ She was interrupted by Ulla, something that always happened when she was excited.

“Go somewhere better?”

“No,” She shook her head. “Let you go.”

The other woman was happy to hear that. She would finally leave and get to see her son. He already turned 7 about a month ago, but she would be there for his 8th birthday. She jumped up and hugged her.

“Thank you.” She repeated it over and over. The two definitely understood the irony of the situation, but didn’t say anything. Some things could contradictory.

“But, you’ll have to take your pills. And Quirin won’t let you cook or handle anything sharp anymore.”

Ulla deflated at that. It made sense, although she never meant to self harm. Not in the way people think.

Sometimes ghosts and demons didn’t go away with iron, salt, and a cross. Sometimes there needed to be ritual with her own blood. Then she got burns a lot from the stove, she’s always been careless around fire. That’s probably where people thought that she hurt herself.

She nodded. “Ok.”

At least she would get to see her family. Even with the pills and extra supervision.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian woke up the next morning with a massive headache and limited memories from last night.

Party, flashing red and blue, running, and then….Hugo.

He remembered going to the other’s house and laying in his bed. Then…they kissed.

He didn’t know how it felt, since he was tipsy. He could imagine it though.

Varian got up from the bed, noticing he was probably in one of the guest rooms. Lord only knew how many guest rooms this house had. Varian knew right away that the two hadn’t done anything but kiss and cuddle. His clothes were still on and he wasn’t even under the cover. Plus, Hugo wasn’t super religious but he knew that the other wouldn’t…do that with a cross in the room.

That’s probably why he was freezing.

Hugo wasn’t next to him, but it was his house so he doubted that he just…left. That would be shitty, even if they hadn’t done anything.

He got up and put on the blanket from the bed. He opened the door and walked a little bit. He was pretty much guessing of where to go, since he’s never been in the house. When he saw Hugo’s door, he knew where the stairs would be.

Varian assumed Hugo wasn’t in his room ms he was right.

Down the stairs, along with the smell of bacon and hash browns, was Hugo.

He was cooking some bacon in the pan, a plate next to him of hash browns. He didn’t seem to notice the other until Varian took a step a little bit closer.

He turned and made a gentle smile.

Varian wasn’t sure what the emotions he was feeling were. He wasn’t even sure if he should want to kiss Hugo again. Considering the fact that last night, they were drinking.

But now that he was thinking about it, he wondered if Hugo even felt the same way about him.

“Hi,” Hugo said. “Are you cold?”

Varian nodded. “It’s fine, you’re by the stove. If you turn the heater up any more, you’ll melt.” He joked.

“Well…You could drink some hot chocolate. We don’t keep any mix in the house but we have cocoa powder and sugar.”

“Really, it’s fine. I should probably be getting home anyway.” He shuffled on his feet a little. Who knew that running could make your feet sore in the morning? Definitely not him. “My dad’s probably half way to the phone to call the police about a missing person.”

“Alright…” Hugo turned off the stove and walked to him. “But, I need to talk to you.”

Varian nodded and Hugo continued. “We need to forget last night.”

“Well, maybe not forget it…” Varian agreed that they weren’t thinking, but there had to be a desire for someone to do something, even if they were drunk.

“Yes, forget it. People do dumb things sometimes.”

Varian furrowed his eyebrows. “So what happened was dumb?”

“Not-“ He cut himself off and sighed. “That’s not what I meant. You shouldn’t be talking to me let alone kissing me!”

“Is this about my dad? Because I thought that you didn’t care what he thought.”

“This isn’t about him.”

“Then what is it about?” Hugo stopped answering, probably gathering his thoughts. Varian let him.

He spoke after a little bit. “There’s things you don’t know about me. Things I didn’t think I’d have to tell you.”

Every time Varian tried to ask after that, Hugo just wouldn’t answer. So Varian took the blanket back up stairs, took his shoes and cross, and walked out. He barely had the first one on as he shut the front door.

🐾🐾🐾

Obviously, there was light snow last night. A thin blanket of soft white covered everything. It just added to how cold he already was.

He was relieved to make it home, at least to get some warmth. He wasn’t too thrilled about his dad.

After being in the cold for a 30 minute walk, the heater and the fireplace was a warm welcome.

He took a breath in and walked to the couch. He could hear his dad in the kitchen.

“Varian, is that you?”

Varian said back sheepishly. “Yeah.”

Quirin walked into the room. “Good, you’re back.”

Varian was surprised that his father wasn’t that worried. He expected him to be yelling, but he wasn’t a loud person. He was almost painfully quiet.

Quirin leaned over the side of the couch, holding out his hand. “You took a cross to the party?”

Varian looked down at it and gave it back. “How’d you know I went?”

“Because when I was younger, I’d do anything to make my mom mad.”

Varian couldn’t imagine why. His grandma was like a tornado when mad. Loud and destructive. Quirin must’ve been a brave kid.

It made sense that she got so angry all the time. Her son was a dirtbag.

Quirin walked to the back door. “Y’know, I thought over what you said. I think I was harsh.” He put the cross up. “But that doesn’t mean that you’re not grounded still. I’ll just…let you go to friend’s houses.”

Varian furrowed his eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He looked at Varian pointedly. “But not that Rottewange boy’s.”

Varian nodded. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go there, not until they really had a conversation.

Hopefully, Hugo wouldn’t run from him.

Chapter Text

“Varian! Wake up!”

The boy in question woke and shot up from the bed and looked at his dad. His dad was dressed in his work clothes, which Varian thought was weird because it’s the weekend.

“What is it?” He asked.

“We’re gonna be late!”

“But,” He looked to the window. “It’s Saturday, isn’t it?”

Quirin rolled his eyes (like father like son) and spoke. “It’s Friday.”

Varian groaned a little as Quirin told him to get up again.

Due to being so late, he didn’t have enough time to fully get ready. So he skipped showering, brushed his teeth and layered himself in enough cologne for three people. He ran to the car where his dad was already waiting.

Varian spent the last few weeks trying to talk to Hugo about what happened. Him and the other still talked, but everytime Varian tried to bring it up, the other would walk away or change the subject. He knew how to take a hint. Hugo obviously didn’t want to talk and it was rude to keep trying.

But, he knew that both of them needed to.

In hope of getting him to talk more, he started wearing the blue beaded bracelet that Hugo bought him. Every day. He still wasn’t going to be wearing the necklace though. Something about that made him embarrassed.

Maybe because it’s something he’s never done before. He never liked trying new things because it was a change to what he usually does.

He went through the day like normal. When Varian talked to Hugo in the classes he had with him, he didn’t get much closer than he usually did.

The basic reaction of changing the subject.

Varian should really give up, shouldn’t he?

🐾🐾🐾

Varian spent the next few days, giving him small hints and asking leading questions. Every time, with no fail, he just wouldn’t say anything or completely ignore him. Varian kept trying though.

His father raised him to be stubborn after all.

This time was different though. Instead of his normal reaction, he glared a little then said ‘I’ll tell you after school.’

So Varian waited by the bathrooms, looking around the crowd to find the taller one. The blond head of hair usually stuck out above the crowds. He was one of the tallest in the school, considering he was…pretty damn tall. (Varian had no idea how tall the other was and it didn’t matter to him.)

He moved his hands to his hair, he just needed something to do. His hair was getting pretty long, he should cut it soon. It started to look like a mullet.

He saw the face over the crowd. He was looking down at a girl as they walked.

The girl crossed her arms. “So I’m going to do all the work?”

Hugo rolled his eyes. “No, you’ll just do most of it.”

Hugo stopped right in front of Varian. The girl crossed her arms over her chest. “And what will you be doing? Getting high?”

Hugo shook his head. “I don’t smoke.”

Her face scrunched up. “You sure smell like you do.”

He looked down at his clothes then at Varian. “Do I?” He asked.

Varian shrugged. He actually kinda liked how he smelled. Like flowers and gasoline. But he’s never been around people who smoked weed, so he had no clue what it smelled like. Maybe Hugo did.

The girl scoffed. “Whatever.” She moved closer. “I’m not carrying your grade again, alright? I got way too much going on to do a project almost entirely on my own.”

He rolled his eyes. “Alright, Vex. I’ll do it.”

She sighed and clenched her fists. “You better. You’re getting an F if you don’t.”

She turned and walked away. She was going to the gym.

Varian looked up at him as he sighed.

“What was that about?”

Hugo put his hand in his pocket. “She thinks I’m not doing anything on the project we have. But it’s not like she lets me.” He shrugged. “Control freak.”

Varian nodded. He didn’t know Vex, but he thought she was pretty nice. If a little picky.

The two walked with the crowd to the front door. Varian was happy to hear him talk, even if it wasn’t exactly the thing he wanted to hear.

Hugo went quiet, not having anything else to talk about. Varian started to ask a question.

“Are you going to tell me why?”

“Why what?”

“Why you won’t talk about what happened. Halloween.”

Hugo’s face dropped a little. He probably forgot, or thought Varian would, that he said that he’d tell him.

They walked to the front doors and Hugo motioned to outside with his head. “By my bike.”

The two walked out the front doors and started to Hugo’s motorbike.

Hugo motioned for Varian to sit down. Hugo shifted on his feet as he tried to collect his thoughts to form them into coherent sentences. One that didn’t sound like crushed up and rotting fruits.

Varian beat him to talking. “Do you not like me?”

“No, it’s not that.” He sighed. “Varian, I already told you.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s complicated.” He furrowed his brow. “But why is it?”

“I’m hiding things. And those things I can’t say.”

“Just…” Varian hugged himself and hunched over. “Please. Hugo, I miss that night.” He looked back up at him. “If you really love me like you say you do, you’d at least tell me why you can’t tell me these things.”

“I love you, more than you know.” Varian’s stomach fluttered up in his chest at that. “But I can’t. You’re perfect and I can’t have you.”

Varian scoffed. This asshole made Varian fall in love just to pull the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ card. He glared.

“How nice of you to say that.” He said sarcastically and got up. He turned to walk away from him.

Hugo sensed this would happen.
“Wait please.” Hugo grabbed Varian’s wrist. Varian tried to wiggle out of the grip but found it was too hard. What the hell was this guy’s work out routine? He didn’t look that strong. Varian turned to him.

“Wait for what?” He spitted out. “For you to act like the ‘nice guy?’”

“That’s not how I meant it. I can’t be with you.”

“Like I haven’t heard that before.” He actually hadn’t, but it felt textbook. So many people have heard those same words from complete assholes.

A tear went down Hugo’s eye and he let go of Varian to wipe the tear. Varian felt a little bad now. He walked closer and held Hugo’s hand, holding to his chest. The other grabbed his cheek. Hugo leaned into the touch.

“Please, tell me.” Varian said, desperately.

Hugo didn’t want to say it, but those soft blue eyes made him want to. The other was his weakness.

“I’ve been…following you.”

Varian raised an eyebrow, trying to remember the taller one or his motorbike. He couldn’t remember a single time that he’d seen him. And honestly, it was a bit creepy. “Ok.”

“I’ve been following you.” He said emphasizing the words.

“So? Doesn’t make it less weird saying it twice.”

“I’m the dog.”

Varian laughed. “Good joke. Now actually tell me why.”

“That’s the truth.”

Varian’s face dropped seeing the serious look in his eyes. “Actually tell me.”

“I’m telling the truth, Varian!”

“You’re just teasing me now, aren’t you? I told you my mom liked the supernatural and you’re…I don’t know, mocking her.” Varian pulled his hands away from Hugo like he was on fire.

Hugo shook his head. “I promise I’m not.”

Varian backed away and while laughing. “Yeah sure, go mess with another boy. I’m done with you.”

Hugo grabbed him. “Please believe me.” Varian turned and got right in his face, so Hugo could understand his words better.

“You’re an asshole.” Hugo let go of him in surprise and Varian walked away.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian didn’t bother to walk back to his dad. He was so angry that what he thought would be the only way to calm himself down would be running. So that’s what he did.

He decided to go the long way and through the woods. That way he could avoid the streets and cars. The last thing he needed was the cars passing by as he walked on the sidewalk. It overwhelmed him.

He passed by a few deer, smiling as the fawns jumped around each other and the grown ones watched Varian. The group didn’t move away from him as he walked past, he knew not to make sudden movements. Animals didn’t run away from him, which was nice.

When he walked further into the woods, he heard the sound of another pair of footsteps.

He rolled his eyes, assuming it was the dog and turned. He didn’t see anything but still yelled. He didn’t want to see the green eyes that looked so much like a certain someone.

“Leave me alone!”

He didn’t see anything move. Suddenly feeling like he was crazy, he turned and went to walk. So now he was yelling at nothing. Got it.

The sound of the leaves didn’t stop though, but nothing he did worked. So he decided to let it be and ran to his house.

Right before he ran into his house, he turned and saw the dog he didn’t want to see. He knew that dog was following him.

And of course, because he liked to freak out, he screamed at it again.

“Remember what I said earlier?” He yelled. “Go back to your owners! Leave!”

The dog’s ears drooped and it walked closer. Varian rolled his eyes and looked for the closest thing to throw.

He saw the bracelet. He liked it, a lot actually. But it isn’t like Hugo would care anymore. Varian did storm off and call him an asshole. He doubted he’d try to talk to him again.

He hesitated only a second and took it off. He threw it as hard as he could into the bushes.

The dog’s eyes widened when it saw it and ran after it. After a few minutes, making sure the dog wasn’t around, he walked inside. He slammed the door shut and threw his bag on the couch. He ran to his room and cried into his pillow.

He was happy his dad wasn’t home. Even if he was probably going to beat his ass or something.

🐾🐾🐾

Quirin came home that day. He’d spent the last 30 minutes trying to look for Varian. He walked through the house to find Varian’s bag on the couch, some of the things spilling out the pockets since it was upside down. Quirin was happy to find that Varian had gone home.

He picked up his bag and went up the stairs, going to find Varian.

He stopped at the door and knocked. After some minutes of silence, he spoke. “Varian? Can I come in?”

He heard a quiet yes from the other side of the door and opened it. He saw that Varian was sitting at his window, looking out it. He was curled up in a blanket and buried with a bunch of pillows. Quirin didn’t think anything of it, Varian always did these types of things. That was until Varian turned his head and his father saw that his eyes were bloodshot and he was sniffling.

He wiped a tear and looked back at the window. “You were right, dad.”

Quirin raised an eyebrow. “About what?”

“About Hugo.”

The father’s eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t talk to his son much, not having enough time to, but he knew how someone who got hurt looked.

“What happened?”

Varian turned and hugged the pillow tightly. He coughed before talking.

“He…” He didn’t want to say what happened, at least not the full story. He wasn’t worried whether or not his father would accept him, he just didn’t want to have ‘the talk.’

He told a very limited version of what happened. “He doesn’t want to talk to me.” He continued after his father said nothing. “He’s been lying, or just not telling me the truth.”

Quirin didn’t suspect much. He chocked up all the hurt Varian was feeling to Hugo being one of his only friends since his other friends graduated. Ever since he was little, Varian had a problem with making friends. It was almost a miracle when he finally made friends in the first place.

Quirin set Varian’s bag down by the nook and gently sat him to sit down. He let Varian cry a little. He felt that nothing he said would help if he tried.

After a little while, the crying stopped and was replaced with an almost uncomfortable silence. It only broke when Varian asked a question.

“Why did you come in here?”

Quirin opened his mouth to speak and then closed it. “Well,” He paused again. “I was going to scold you about leaving without telling me.”

“And you still haven’t.”

“Because, I realized that you had a reason to leave.”

Varian nodded. He doesn’t remember his father ever being reasonable.

Quirin kept talking though. “But, I was worried. At least call me.”

Varian laughed. “Like you have a cell.” He knew that his dad relied on the house phone only.

Quirin rolled his eyes. “I should get one then, should I?”

Varian nodded. “The 70s were 30 years ago.”

Once Varian was feeling better, the two went downstairs to start dinner. It was still Varian’s turn to make dinner.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian sat down at the couch as he waited for his mother to come home.

He didn’t remember her at all, but he knew that he should.

He was only four when she was taken to the hospital. Now he was six and going to school.

The kids at school sometimes made fun of him and the teachers gave him weird pitiful looks. He didn’t know what it was that made them do that. His father told him to ignore it.

He watched the front door window, waiting to see her at the door. From the pictures on his dad’s camera, he knew that she had red hair, blue eyes, and freckles like him.

Eventually, there was a shadow that showed up by the door. Before a knock sounded, his father was already at the door.

The door opens and Ulla walked through. She smiled brightly and jumped in Quirin’s arms, burying her face in his neck.

“I missed you.” He said and spinning her. She nodded.

“I did too.”

Varian looked away when they kissed, he never liked looking at that stuff. In movies he would look at the ceiling. Once they stopped kissing, his mother ran over to Varian and scooped him up.

“I missed you, as well, baby.” She kissed his hair. Varian looked confused as he looked up at his mother. He should be excited, but he didn’t even know what she looked like, aside from the pictures.

Varian didn’t voice any of this. He knew how bad it hurt her if he said he didn’t remember her. He’ll get to know her. He didn’t smile as he hugged her, sometimes it seemed he didn’t know how to. People would always tell him to cheer up, but the truth was that he was already happy he just found it hard to show.

“I missed you too, mama.”

🐾🐾🐾

As the weeks went on, Varian started to notice that something was wrong. The hard stares when they’d go to the store, the hushed whispers at night when he was supposed to be asleep coming from his parents room, and the pitying looks of teachers and staff at school. The children didn’t get any nicer than before, in fact they got meaner.

The bible taught him to not be violent, but sometimes he couldn’t help it. Sometimes, instead of violence, he opted for running away for a little while. The nice creek i’m the woods and pick some more flowers.

But today was different. He couldn’t just run, his parents don’t want him to get sick from being out in the rain. So he stayed curled in his bed, playing with his stuffed animals. His mom got a new one for him once she heard about the kids being mean to him and to apologize for missing his birthdays.

He jumped when he heard a muffled yell coming from the garden. He tiptoed over to the window in his room, not like his parents would care but he still didn’t like making noise. He was still wrapped in his blanket, having it tied like cape and holding one of his stuffed toys.

Turns out, though, that his parents wouldn’t have heard if he had made noise. They were under the back porch, far away from his window, but apparently his dad yelled loud enough that Varian could still hear him. Varian slightly opened the window and listened to them argue.

“You know we can’t do that, Ulla!” His father said, the gentle voice he usually had completely gone. “We all quit for a reason!”

“I’m not asking for us to abandon everything! I’m just telling you that…I can’t live this way anymore.” Ulla yelled back. Varian couldn’t see her face but it was obvious that she was distressed.

“You can’t live with what?” He said, lowering his voice a bit. Varian had to strain his ears to listen. “People are rude to all of us, I barely got hired, for christ’s sake! And I’m sure you heard the teachers call, about Varian being bullied!”

Varian shrunk in on himself. They were arguing over him. He didn’t like seeing his parents so mad either.

“You don’t see either of us complaining about moving!”

She scoffed. “What you’re going through is completely different!”

Quirin sighed. He knew how true that was. Especially considering she wasn’t willing to do things that would help her. “But it’s not better.” He sighed. “Thing is Ulla, we can’t leave. We don’t have much money, unless you get a job as well.” Quirin saw her cringe at the idea, so he crossed that out. He also felt that no one would hire her anyway.

Ulla sighed. “I understand that, but,” She paused and sniffled. “I just, don’t know how much longer I can go.”

Quirin opened his arms for a hug. “Come here, honey.” She started sobbing in his arms as she hugged him. “I’m sorry for yelling.”

Varian closed the window when his mom started crying. The two figures swayed on the porch, safe from the rain.

They came back in a few moments later. And at dinner, he stayed as silent as always, hoping that they hadn’t seen him eavesdropping.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian rolled his eyes as he sat on the couch, hearing his parents argue in the room over.

You’d think that after 4 years of hearing them argue, Varian wouldn’t be affected by it anymore, but here he was. He used to get scared, angry too, but now he just was bored. Varian was supposed to be at a chior concert by now, but somehow his mom saying she didn’t want to go dissolved into an argument.

He understood why she didn’t want to go, it’s not the best spot for people who have social anxiety. It didn’t make him less disappointed though. When his father saw how disappointed he was, he told Ulla he’d like to talk to her.

So instead of practicing, he was sitting on the couch in his nice clothes and tearing at his fingernails. He wouldn’t be late for the concert itself, just for the practice they do before it. It wasn’t less annoying still.

Especially since his dad was yelling at him to be quicker. Apparently, to him, 20 minutes before was on time. Now look at who he was waiting on.

He heard his name in the argument and furrowed his eyebrows. Again, 4 years of this and he still got sad when they mentioned him in an argument.

“It’s best for Varian, Ulla!”

“I can’t take them, no matter how much I try!”

“Maybe you aren’t trying hard enough!” He said, sounding so mad. “There’s a reason you feel this way, you won’t accept help! Do you really want to go back there?”

“Maybe I do, at least people understand me there!” He heard the tears in her eyes.

“Oh, so now I’m the bad guy because I want you to take your meds?”

There was silence a moment, probably because they didn’t want Varian hearing or maybe they were just speechless. That wasn’t until he heard a soft voice say,

“Donella was right, you just don’t know when to stop.”

That ticked off Ulla bad because she screamed ‘fuck you’ and stomped out the room. She slammed the door of the bedroom just as Quirin walked out. Varian knew that Quirin wanted to act the same way, but Varian was so sensitive when it came to him being mad.

Varian furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at his dad. “Papa, what happened?”

Quirin shook his head. “It’s ok, nothing happened.” He went closer and picked Varian up from the couch to set him down. “She just needs…some time, and some sense.”

“I’m not a little kid. I just…want to know.”

Quirin sighed. “Just go to the car.” He pushed Varian gently toward the door. “I’ll talk to her, make sure…nothing that can hurt her is in there.”

Varian knew what he meant. More like nothing she could hurt herself with.

While Quirin was doing that, Varian walked out to sit in the car. Which was nice and warm compared to the frigid outside. He really did hate winter.

When his father walked out and started the car, he saw a slight gray in his eye. Guilt, maybe confusion mixing with the usual stoicism he kept. He sat down in the drivers seat and looked at Varian.

“You’ll be staying with auntie for a little bit.” Quirin stated.

Varian nodded and looked out the window as his dad started to drive. When they got to the administration building where the concert would be, he could hear the Christmas music from outside. They were late for the practice by 20 minutes, but 10 minutes was a enough time to practice for him.

They walked in and he saw his chior conductor and the other students stop singing. Varian smiled and waved a little.

“Sorry.”

The conductor shook his head and told him to just get his gown on and get on stage. Varian did that as quickly as possible, he hated having people wait on him. At the very least, there hadn’t been any new Christmas songs, at least not ones a chior would sing, for 50 years.

He remembered all the words.

They started singing once Varian got his gown and was in his spot. Varian started to get doubts in his head as more people showed up. He always had fears, fears that everyone was laughing at him, judging his every movement. Being up here, albeit with 30 others, definitely didn’t help that.

He stood up straighter as he got dizzier and weary. The argument from earlier was really starting to get to him. Eventually, he couldn’t control himself as he stopped singing and cried into his hand. No one noticed him crying, which he though of as a good thing.

When the conductor said that they could leave to touch up and drink water, he was the first one off the stage. He dizzily made his way to the bathroom and ran into one of the stalls, sitting on the toilet and curling up to cry.

The concert started again, but Varian still didn’t make his way out of the stall. He stayed on that toilet hyperventilating as the cheery music went on.

“Jingle bells! Jingle bells!” He heard from out the bathroom door.

Varian wanted pull his hair out, scratch his skin until it tore, and bite his fingernails off. Not the best area to be having a panic attack.

After the concert, his father found him. Varian wasn’t crying anymore, but he was still curled up. Quirin grabbed his wrist and dragged him out the bathroom. Varian let it happen, too tired to do much else.

“Why weren’t you on stage?”

Varian shook his head. “I-I couldn’t do it. I got…scared or maybe…just anxious.”

They walked to the car and Quirin let go of him to walk to the driver’s side. “So you stayed in the bathroom because of it?” He said once they were both in.

Varian nodded. “I thought they would—I don’t know—laugh?”

Quirin sighed and started the car to go home. Varian didn’t hear anything else from him for the whole ride, but he knew that he was disappointed, or maybe he was just distressed? He didn’t know, he just knew that Varian was embarrassed from the way he acted.

And the way he was acting now, as he cried a little more. He didn’t want to see his mom. He loved her but he couldn’t handle it anymore. The fighting, the stares, the feeling of the people talking behind his back. It felt like he had no one to rely on.

He collapsed on the bed when he finally got in bed and changed. He curled up and turned off his light.

Before he completely fell asleep, he heard the door of his room open and footsteps coming over to him. The hand touched his hair.

“Varian?” He heard. It was dad’s voice whispering. “Are you awake?”

Varian didn’t react and kept his eyes closed. He could hear the sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry, that you have to hear us.”

Varian then felt a kiss on his forehead right before the presence of the man’s hand left his hair and the sound of footsteps went away from him. He heard the door shut and Varian opened his eyes.

He sniffled a little as he started crying again.

🐾🐾🐾

The next few weeks, he stayed with his aunt, Adira. She lived in the next town over with her roommate.

It was a nice house, and he had his own room. He stayed there so much that she started buying clothes and a few decorations for him.

Somehow though, during the few weeks he was gone, things had gotten much worse. So much worse, that the day that his father wanted him back, he also said that his mother…had hanged herself.

Varian broke when he heard that. He didn’t leave bed for days, didn’t eat, and didn’t even read. He just stared at the wall, feeling hate or maybe guilt.

It took him a while to want to go back, and Adira understood that. She let him mourn like that a while and then convinced him that he needed his dad.

It took a week, but he finally decided that he wanted to go back.

What he came back to was even less ideal than he expected.

The moment he walked into the house, he heard the sound of his dad crying. Something that Varian never thought he’d hear. His father was always good at staying tough, no tears and a constant smile. Varian walked further in the house and saw a mess.

Glass was everywhere, as well as boxes. The walls were barren and sad. Anywhere he looked, there was something different. There weren’t anymore pictures of the family, and there wasn’t any of Ulla’s crochet projects in sight. It looked so sad, it looked like they were going to move.

When Varian shut the door, the sniffling stopped. Varian heard it coming from his parents room.

He stood in the hallway and waited for his dad to come out of his bedroom. After a few minutes, he heard footsteps coming down and he fiddled with his fingers.

His dad, when got to the hallway, didn’t even look at Varian. He just picked up the boxes and brought them to the kitchen. Varian tried his best to get his attention without seeming disrespectful. He followed him to the kitchen and called up into the attic. He was just ignoring him.

Varian got the hint and left him alone.

When Varian got hungry, he went back downstairs to see his dad already eating. Quirin looked up when Varian walked in. They didn’t say anything, not until after they ate.

“Why are you ignoring me?” Varian asked.

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.” Varian pressed. “Tell me why.”

“I won’t because I’m not.”

Varian sighed and furrowed his brows. “You didn’t look at me when I came home.” He looked down at the empty plate. “I…really needed a hug then.”

Quirin sighed. “I was doing something.”

They went to silence. Not because Varian gave up but because he didn’t want to cry. Not when his father was going through it too.

Eventually, he got up and put his plate in the sink. “Why was there so many boxes?”

“Your mother’s things. Don’t want to sell them but…I don’t want them out. I put them in the attic.”

Varian furrowed his eyebrows. “So…we’ll just forget her?”

Quirin shook his head. “No.” Varian knew he was lying though.

“Then what are you doing?”

“Trying to…” He paused. “Force her away. She’ll rest easier if I do this.”

Varian looked at him in annoyance. “A-And I guess I count as ‘her things.’”

He stormed away back to his room. Any day after that was the same. Ignorance, moving boxes, and the same woeful attitude in both of them.

If Varian had it his way, he’d go back to before she left for the hospital. Give her help, he wasn’t sure what help, just help. Nothing could go his way though, time travel was impossible.

Quirin grew colder before he got nicer. And Varian started to resent him and his mother more and more.

Chapter Text

The three young adults parked the car in the woods behind some overgrown graveyard.

A tall man with bootcut jeans and boots. He jumped out of the truck and then went to the other side to help his girlfriend out. It’s not like she needed help, but she gratefully accepted and jumped into his arms.

“Thank you, bear.” She said after he set her down. She started to step through the graveyard gently, with the tall man following her like a lovesick puppy.

Another woman rolled her eyes and called out to them both. She specifically glared at the man. “Carrot head, come here and help me with this.”

The red-haired woman went over to the trunk of their pickup truck. The bed opened and there were plenty of bags of salt, silver weapons, and holy water. Donella picked up the shovel before Quirin could.

They all picked up a bag of salt and put a knife in the compartment on their belts. After, they turned back to the graveyard gates. They knew what to expect when they went through the gates, this wasn’t their first time at a graveyard at night. They didn’t expect to see a lock and a chain on the gate, though.

“They upgraded security.” The tall man sighed as he walked past the two women. Then held his hand out to the red-haired woman.

“Ulla, could I use a bobby-pin?” The man usually kept hair products in his pockets; he never knew when Ulla would need a hair tie or something. For some reason, though, no matter how often they used them, he still never kept any for them to use when they really needed them. Ulla nodded and took out a bobby-pin from her pocket.

He took it from her and started to pick the lock of the chain. After a little while, the man still didn’t get the lock opened. The taller woman smirked and bumped into him, pushing him to the side.

“Finally found something you’re not good at.” She smirked at him. “Let me see it, Q.”

He rolled his eyes and gave the bobby pin to her. “Here, Donnie.”

She snarled and snatched it from him. Unlike the man, she had it unlocked in a few minutes. Ulla smiled and was the first one through the gates. She was always crazy. Donella followed in after her while whispering for her to slow down. Quirin crossed his arms and followed the two.

It didn’t take long for them to find what they were looking for. They were here to burn the remains of what had to have been Eudora Crowley. She was a maid for the richest man in town during the 1870s. Everybody thought she was crazy back then. Her son and husband died during the Civil War, leaving her alone.

About a year after getting work from the man, she got sick with Tuberculosis. It was bad enough that she couldn’t recover from it. Supposedly, knowing that she was going to die, she took it out on everyone else. Hitting, yelling, and even cutting the other maids. So, when the man she worked for was found dead with multiple stab wounds, everyone knew exactly who it was.

She was arrested and put on trial a week later. She said it wasn’t her, that something made her do it. Nobody believed her, of course. So, the moment she was found guilty, she banged her head on the wall until she died.

There have been a few instances where people have gone into the hospital and came back out with a stab wound in their shoulder or severe head damage. It was never very common, but recently it has been reported a lot more. The three young adults couldn’t trace back any other deaths there that would haunt like that, so they assumed it had to be her.

They found her grave, and they all looked at each other. Ulla picked up the shovel from the ground. “Who wants to dig?” Ulla asked as she turned back to them.

Quirin and Donella looked and pointed at each other. Ulla rolled her eyes and tossed the shovel to Quirin.

He caught it and sighed. Then he moved to the grave and started digging. Ulla stepped aside to make a circle of salt. Donella stayed on watch. It’s not that they thought they were in danger, they just could never be too careful.

Not too much time passed before Quirin had halfway dug up the body. His boots started to get wet, and the smell of decay was getting more prominent. Once he dug up a few more piles of dirt, he turned on his flashlight. His boots were so covered in mud, he could barely move. It was weird, though, it hasn’t rained since Fall started.

He almost screamed at the sight of blood in the dirt. He scrambled to jump out of the grave and shivered.

“What the fuck.” He mumbled out.

Ulla turned around and hid her head on Donella’s shoulder. “Ew.”

Donella wrapped her arm around her. “What could’ve caused this?”

Quirin shrugged and turned to her. “Vampire, maybe?”

She picked up the shovel. “I doubt it’s a vampire.” She shoved it into his chest.

Quirin tilted his head in annoyance. “I don’t wanna keep doing this, Donnie.”

“Well, that’s too damn bad.” Donella shoved it more until Quirin picked it up. “You keep digging.”

He groaned and jumped back in. Ulla put the bag of salt down and jumped up. “Guys, we forgot the gasoline and matches.”

Quirin climbed back out of the grave. “I’ll go get it.”

Ulla shook her head and kissed his cheek. “No, keep digging. I’ll go.”

He sighed and leaned into her touch. “I don’t want you to be alone thou-“ He was cut off before he finished talking.

“I’ll go. Don’t worry.”

With that, both of them left Quirin alone. He finished digging the grave, so he went to sit down in the circle. They had to have been gone for about 20 minutes when he started to worry. He didn’t park that far, did he?

Just as he looked around for them, he saw Donella’s long blond braid flowing in the wind. She was next to him in no time. She looked frantic and was running as fast as she could. It was the first time Quirin had seen her without that stoic expression on her face.

“I don’t know where she is.” She rasped out.

🐾🐾🐾

Quirin’s heart dropped at hearing her say those words. Then he felt a bit of anger.

“What do you mean?” He said, almost fuming.

Donella could’ve been pulling her hair out with how hard she was gripping her braid. “I turned around and she wasn’t there. I’ve been trying to look for her but-“

“Damn it.” Quirin interrupted her and kicked the ground. “What the hell, Donnie! I trusted her with you.”

She yelled back at him. “I didn’t expect her to run off!” She bit her nail. She didn’t even know if she was ok! “She was helping me with something!”

Quirin wanted to say more, but he stopped himself. “Let’s just go look for her.”

They weren’t thinking as they walked off, leaving the gasoline and matches by that bloody grave.

They walked through the graveyard and snuck back out through the gate. They figured that Ulla was outside the graveyard. The two of them went down the street, yelling out for her.

“Ulla!” Quirin yelled into the woods. Donella’s voice followed after him.

“Come back!”

They both didn’t spread out to look for her. It seemed like a good decision to Quirin, but Donella insisted on their splitting up. Quirin didn’t let her leave, though, no matter how much he didn’t like her. It wouldn’t help if Ulla’s favorite person went missing with her. Plus, Donella could get hurt.

Quirin didn’t like thinking about that, though. Because if Donella could get hurt, then that means Ulla could already be hurt.

The two turned around when they heard a pair of footsteps that weren’t theirs. They both saw Ulla, smiling at them as she waved.

“Hi.” She said slightly nervously. She didn’t look hurt, well aside from the limp and the sight hang of her head. Though Quirin’s always noticed that she had a bit of a limp, it just was never this obvious.

Quirin walked over to her quickly and touched her shoulder gently. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” She brushed his hand off. “Nothing happened.” She looked just as cheerful as always.

Quirin suspected that something was wrong, but he let it go. They had a lot more things to do. They could talk later. Donella probably had the same thought as him, though she wasn’t saying anything.

When the three walked back to the graveyard, Quirin started to feel a sense of dread weighing him down. He didn’t know if it was fear or not. He doubted it was, though. He wasn’t scared of ghosts. How could he be when he beat them up? He tried to ignore it, but it was getting more and more difficult to.

Ulla seemed not to take his eyes off him. Quirin didn’t mind it, that’s how it usually was after all. Now, though, he couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong. Her eyes, something about them weren’t as magnetic as they usually were.

Drained.

His eyes widened when he suddenly came to a realization. This couldn’t be Ulla. This couldn’t be the woman who looked at him like sunshine and lavender. The woman who, even under certain conditions, was still so happy. So eager.

He turned straight to her and grabbed her shoulder. There was a slight moment in which his hand almost felt like it was burning.

The motion made the two women stop walking. Ulla looked at him with worry. Feigned worry, he thought. She, her empty eyes, was not convincing him. It surprised him how Donella hadn’t noticed, even in the dark.

He moved quickly to his belt, the pocket where he kept a small bottle of holy water. He didn’t want to hurt her. If he was right, holy water would be enough.

He opened it and splashed it across her face. Ulla screamed and turned away, covering her face. The other two, after realizing what was happening, backed away and got ready to fight or run.

You see, the both of them couldn’t hurt her, so instead of bringing out their knives, they ran to the nearest church. Ulla, or not Ulla, screamed out to them.

“Come back here, you fucking pig!” Her face was burnt, red and blotchy as she looked up at them.

They didn’t look back; instead, they thought of a plan. They ran down the moonlit road to the cathedral that was really only used for funeral services.

Abandoned, in other words.

They snuck into the church through the front door. It’s been abandoned for so long, there was wood decay on the walls, but It was a safe place for a lot of people around town. They didn’t tear it down, refused to. Some people offered to fix it up.

Of course, that took a lot of time and effort. Money, too. It’s supposed to be abolished pretty soon because no one has enough of any of those things to do it.

Thank goodness it wasn’t yet, that way Donella and Quirin could sneak in easily.

They shut the door of the chapel and scrambled to find somewhere and figure out a plan. They ended up in the very front of the cathedral, an angel statue holding a few songbirds and a rose on their left, another angel statue holding a sword on their right, and a Jesus statue in the middle. All of the statues looking over them.

Quirin turned to her. “We should’ve brought salt.” He rasped out, almost completely out of breath.

Donella nodded. “But we didn’t.” She was able to recover quicker than him. She was more of a runner than him. Quirin lifted more than her, but he didn’t run as much.

She stood up and looked around the church for something to use.

“You have any idea what’s wrong with her?” She asked.

He nodded. “Not a ghost. Demon, maybe.”

She looked at the statue for a moment and mumbled. “Steel then.”

There wasn’t any steel, though. Ulla’s cross necklace was, but the demon must’ve taken it off before it seriously hurt them. Which meant that they’d have to go for something else.

“There has to be a cross somewhere. One we can carry around.” She said, looking at the cross standing next to the candles in the front of the church. They couldn’t carry it, though, because it was too big to be in one of their pockets.

They walked further into the church. Quirin always felt bad doing stuff like this. There were some parts of the church that only the priest was allowed in. Nobody was allowed in these areas unless given permission. The thing was, they were forced to ignore these rules. He told himself that God would understand.

They got into the little office area. A desk, another angle statue, and the cup and plate that would be used for communion.

It didn’t take long for something to go wrong. Just as they got into the office, they felt the building shake and grabbed onto the wall.

Donella walked forward while keeping her hand planted on the wall. She started to dig through the desk for anything. She didn’t find a steel cross, but she did find a hymnal. It wouldn’t do much against the ghost, but it would help with keeping the door closed.

Meanwhile, Quirin ran to the other side of the room. He frantically looked in drawers until he found something he could use.

A knife. Quirin didn’t want to hurt Ulla; it was the last thing he wanted. But he was desperate for any steel. It was the only thing that could get that demon out of her.

Plus, he just had to tap it on her, not stab her. If he was precise with his movements.

He doubted himself, though. He wasn’t very agile, he was clumsy since he was so tall and he didn’t know how to control his strength in most moments. He threw a punch without thinking.

Donella ran to the door and put the hymnal by the door. That proved not to do much as the building got even shakier and the angle statue started to crack.

By that point, they knew that they had to rely on themselves. They had no weapons, at least not any that wouldn’t kill Ulla. Killing her was a last resort.

In fact, it wasn’t even an option.

Everything went wrong quickly, worse than before. The window next to them broke, and a floating Ulla came sliding through.

Quirin held on tighter to the knife and got in a fighting stance. Donella cursed under her breath. Gosh, she and Quirin were idiots together. Why didn’t they think to board up the damn windows?

Donella swiftly turned around and ran to grab the chalet from the table. She wasn’t gonna face this evil bitch without some kind of weapon.

It was becoming more and more obvious that Donella and Quirin had never actually fought a demon before. Vengeful ghost, sure, but a demon was something completely different.

Ulla laughed and smiled. The one that didn’t quite fit her face. It stretched her face in an almost uncomfortable way. Gone was the Ulla that the other two knew. Now was her body, but not her.

But Quirin wasn’t gonna give up, nor would Donella. They would save her.

Ulla cackled and tilted her head. “What’s wrong?” She rasped out in a voice not quite hers. “Scared, sweetheart?”

For once, in what had to be 10 years, Quirin was speechless and thoughtless. Not once has he never had something to say; there was always something. He was what everyone called mouthy and what Ulla called sassy.

He stared blankly at her and tried to sort his thoughts. He tried to even come up with them.

Nothing, nada.

Quirin’s breath hitched as the thing wearing Ulla’s face drifted closer, her feet not quite touching the broken glass. The knife trembled in his grip—not from fear of it, but from the thought of what he might have to do to get her back.

Then Donella lunged, swinging the chalice like a club. It connected with a sickening clang against Ulla’s forearm—steel on possessed flesh—and the demon shrieked, jerking back like she’d been burned.

Donella smiled, relieved more than anything. They had a chance. “Now, Quirin! Do it now!”

Quirin hesitated and froze. “I can’t! I’ll hurt her!”

Ulla was curled on the ground now, trying to get her skin to stop hurting. It was burnt, badly. Adding to the burns on her face.

Donella hit her again, not as hard this time, on her shoulder. “Damn it, Quirin!” She pointed at him. “If you don’t do this, she will be stuck in this body. That’s worse than if she got stabbed by accident!”

Quirin still didn’t move and shook his head. “There,” He stuttered a bit. “There has to be another way.”

Donella scoffed, and Ulla stood back up.

“You damned rat!” The demon pounced at her and scratched at her face. “That fucking hurt!”

Quirin started to panic a little, but still, his feet wouldn’t budge. He knew that the only plan they had that had any chance was for him to stab her. He couldn’t stand it.

Donella moved quickly and kicked her away. She snarled at the scratches on her face and arms. She always insisted that Ulla cut her nails; she wished that she wasn’t so stubborn and just listened. At least now she wouldn’t have a bleeding scratch across her cheek.

The demon tilted his head at him. “Y’know, he said the same thing. That rich guy so long ago.” It looked at the sky. “He didn’t want to kill her; he saw her as a sister.”

Quirin tilted his head. “Rich guy?”

She nodded and looked at him with wild eyes. Excited and almost fond, or curious. “Yes. The Freddy guy. What was his last name?” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Oh, that’s right! It was Fredrick Henri Sonne!”

The other two knew exactly what she was talking about now.

The demon continued. “He cared for all his servants. No matter what. He was already devastated that Eudora was dying.” She raised her hand to cover her mouth. “He couldn’t stand the thought of finishing her off, even with something like me possessing her.”

She tried not to laugh. “You people let love go too far, don’t you think?”

Quirin clenched his jaw. “You’re evil. We don’t find joy in pain like you.”

She laughed. “I already knew that, babe. And that’s why you die and I don’t.”

Quirin didn’t hold back anymore. Just as Donella hit her in the head with the chalet, he ran to hit her with the knife. Like he thought, he didn’t end up stabbing her; he slashed her cheek. At least he had enough control in his muscles that he didn’t accidentally stab her. He felt overwhelmed by guilt as he did that; he was worried that the knife went too deep.

The small slash was enough as the demon collapsed on the ground, twitching when shadows writhed beneath her skin like snakes under silk. Her mouth opened in a silent scream.

And then quiet.

Just breathing now—real breathing—and Quirin dropped beside her before she even opened her eyes.

“Ulla?” He patted her cheek as gently as possible. He felt her twitch, probably at the feeling of the raw and charred skin being touched. “Hey…Wake up."

Quirin didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t the blood curdling scream she let out. The moment she opened her eyes, she started sobbing and screaming in pain.

Donella knelt next to Quirin, and he quickly held her closer to him. He whispered gently to her.

“It hurts!” She yelled.

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts.” He stood up with her, trying not to touch her charred parts of her body. He looked at Donella.

"What do we do?" He asked, his voice wavering. He tried not to shake, for her sake. Her head was on his shoulder, and her body was shivering and quaking. He gently held her head by her long red hair, trying to make sure her face wasn't making contact with any of his clothes.

Donella shook her head, and her eyebrows furrowed. She was shaking and her eyes were watering. “I…” She looked at her face. “I don’t know.”

She was quick to move the moment Ulla grew weak and collapsed in Quirin’s. The nails that were digging in his back fell limp at his sides.

She didn’t know when Ulla broke through the wall she kept over her heart. She had them up, every moment. It seemed like everything she let herself love would be destroyed. So she put up barriers.

All it took was a redhead in her chemistry class to break it all down.

Suddenly, Quirin’s voice broke through. “We’re going to the hospital.”

He started to walk out the door, almost marching even. His hands, though still gentle, started to hold her tighter. Donella matched his speed and got in front of him, walking backwards when he didn’t stop his stride.

“We can’t! What are we supposed to tell the doctors? Something like this isn’t an accident.”

“What hell are we supposed to do then? Let her heal on her own?”

They passed through the church, away from the broken glass and into the night air. The foggy chill seemed to make the tension worse.

“We can find someone else! Just not the hospital.”

He stopped walking finally. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.” He looked down at her face.

Donella sighed in relief as he stopped arguing. She took a step closer. “I know, but the police won’t believe that. They’ll see this and think of abuse before a demon possession.”

Quirin sniffled and held her tighter. “I’m sorry.”

The walk back to the truck was uneventful. They were walking as fast as they could, not quite running because Quirin didn’t want to jostle her around.

Once they got to the car, he opened the door to the backseat and slid her inside. He laid her down on her back and then got in the driver's seat. Donella got in next to him. They rode in silence.

🐾🐾🐾

They found someone to help her. A witch doctor.

Sure, it was sketchy, but they were desperate.

All night, the woman was working on her. Putting herbs on her, cleaning her wounds. The good thing was that she didn’t ask anything. She probably sensed that it was from something supernatural.

The woman quickly fixed her up. It was about 3 when she finished. Quirin stood up and went to the bed where Ulla was lying. The doctor started cleaning all her stuff up and putting it inside her little basket thing.

Quirin turned to her and smiled. “Thank you. I know it’s late.”

She shook her head. The sweet lady flicked her hand and smiled. She was like a grandma. “It’s nothing, dear. She needed help.”

She took out some herbs from her basket. “Make sure her wounds are cleaned. I’ll be staying in the motel down the street if you need anything.”

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” He followed her out of the room and to the front door. He told Donella to go home, that he could handle it from here. Of course she didn’t listen, though, and collapsed on the couch.

Right before the woman walked out the door, she turned around and faced him. “I suggest you don’t let her go wherever she got hurt. I don’t think she’ll scar, and luckily she didn’t burn her nerves off, but she won’t be so lucky next time.”

He nodded. He’s already been thinking of quitting ghost hunting; his girlfriend getting possessed and then burned was the cherry on top. “Ok, goodnight, ma’am.”

“Goodnight, dear.” He shut the door as she walked into the chilly early morning air. Quirin wasn’t sure if he’d sleep tonight, but he could try.

🐾🐾🐾

The next morning, Ulla woke up to afternoon light slipping into her room. The window was open and the curtains swayed a little in the wind. She didn’t remember anything from last night. They went to the graveyard, then she remembered not much else. Just searing pain and a gentle voice. Quirin’s.

She quickly looked around the room, trying to find her boyfriend. He found him sleeping next to her in a chair. She smiled, then winced and held her cheek. The moment she did, she didn’t feel the soft skin of her cheek; she felt cotton. Why was her skin so tender, and why did she have bandages?

She held up her forearm and looked at the bandages there, too. Was she burned?

She saw in the corner of her eye that Quirin moved and wiped his eyes. He looked so tired. The bags under his eyes were so heavy.

Quirin looked at Ulla as he saw her sitting up and awake. He got from the chair and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. He grinned at her and pulled her into a hug. “I thought you were gone.” He whispered.

Ulla confusedly hugged him back. He pulled away with gracefulness and brushed his fingers through her hair. “How do you feel?”

She shrugged. The thoughts in her head turning into soup. She was relieved, but also confused. “Why am I bandaged up?”

Quirin got a knot out of her hair. “What do you remember?”

“The graveyard. I had to go get the gasoline and matches. I…somehow lost Donella. I don’t remember anything else. Just pain.”

Quirin’s guilt worsened, and he hugged her. “You got possessed by a demon.”

Her eyes widened, and she pulled away from the hug. Reluctantly, but she needed to see him when he said this. “A demon?”

He nodded. “We thought it was Eudora, but she didn’t get out when we poured holy water on you.”

She touched her face. “Is that why I’m burned?”

He nodded. If he was a dog, his ears would be folded down. “We had to fight you—to save you, of course. We had to…do this to you.”

She reached up to trace his cheekbone. She wasn’t smiling; it would hurt too much to. She would have been, though. “Thank you for saving me.”

She hugged him. The warm embrace lasted a long time, and peace filled the room with only the sound of the birds outside to hear. He gently grabbed her waist and pulled her to lie on the bed. “Stay here, I’ll get you some breakfast.”

He kissed the top of her forehead and ran to the kitchen eagerly.

Ulla was left in the bedroom, staring at the ceiling. If it were a demon they were hunting, does that mean that Eudora was right? No one believed her when she said she was possessed. She really was, though, by a demon.

She was beyond lucky that she hadn’t ended up killing Quirin or Donella when she was possessed. Yeah, she was left with injuries, but she’d rather that than have dead friends and having to go to court.

She thought that it’d be best to kill the demon now. They didn’t know how they’d go about it, and she was a bit scared, but it had to happen. If the demon killed someone, and probably many others, who’s to say it won’t happen again. The same tragedy that happened to Eudora could happen to someone else.

Ulla sat up sharply, wincing as the bandages pulled against her skin. Her fingers trembled at her collarbone—not from pain, but purpose.

“I’m going back,” she whispered, more to herself than the empty room.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and tested her weight. It held.

Footsteps padded down the hall—Quirin returning with toast and tea on a chipped floral tray. He froze when he saw her standing.

“Ulla—what are you doing?” His voice cracked like dry wood.

She turned slowly, face half-shadowed by afternoon light. “We didn’t finish it.”

“We burned it, it won’t come back.” he argued weakly, setting the tray aside. “You nearly died.”

“And someone else will if we don’t stop it.” She stepped forward, eyes blazing with something new—not fear or pain, but fire. “Eudora was innocent. That demon used her name like a mask and killed an innocent man because no one believed she wasn’t guilty.”

Quirin shook his head. “You aren’t going back. We aren’t either.”

Her heart broke a little. “What do you mean? So, we just let it keep hurting people?”

He sighed and then raised his arms. "It’s not hurting people. Not now.”

She argued more. “Why don’t you ever let me do what I want to do! You are the worst, such an asshole!” She always changed her mood. Just like that. Quirin knew how to deal with it, though.

He grabbed her wrist and kissed her hand. “Stop it. I’m not trying to control you, it’s just…” His voice cracked. “You could’ve died. I’m not going to let that happen ever again.”

He sniffled. “It’s best, for all of us, if we just quit. Trust me, please.” He kissed her neck. “Donnie said the same thing.”

He didn’t let more than a tear fall, but that was enough. Ulla turned around and wiped his cheek. “I’m still mad.”

That’s all she said before she stormed back up to her room. It took a while for her to get over that, if she ever did.

🐾🐾🐾

Varian has been a mess the last few weeks. At the very least, he and his dad have been arguing less and less. Now that Hugo and he had that…argument, Quirin got nicer.

Well, more like how he was before. Ignoring him.

As the weeks went by, the weather became colder and colder. The fog was seeping in everywhere now, with the rain and whatnot. There was always rain, but it was the most in the fall.

Right now, he was holding Ruddiger in his arms as it poured down outside. He hated when the sun was gone and it got dark. Especially now, every moment, he got more paranoid. He couldn’t look outside at night anymore and he couldn’t sit in silence.

He was afraid. Especially now that the dog stopped following him.

He felt safer with it around, he wasn’t sure why.

He watched the TV, a movie about the Civil War was on. His phone was in his pocket, and it seemed to just keep buzzing. His friends texted a lot, so he usually didn’t think much of it, but he had an urge to check his phone.

He saw some texts. It was Hugo. In that moment, he remembered that he had unblocked Hugo, wanting to talk to him. Varian was so tirelessly in love with him, he missed him. He was an asshole, though. A liar, too.

Varian forgot to block him again.

He opened the text, slightly afraid for some reason.

‘im sorry. please, can we talk?’

Varian almost answered with a clear yes. He wanted to, but it would be stupid to. It would make Hugo think that lying and playing him was ok. It wasn’t, never would be.

So, he shut his phone and put it down. He held on tight to Ruddiger. The cat, sensing the mood change, purred against his chest and rubbed his head on Varian’s cheek.

“I don’t know what to do, Ruddy.”

The cat meowed and walked across his lap to the end of the couch. The cat looked back at him and then at the kitchen. Varian sighed. “Of course, you only want treats.”

He smiled and rolled his eyes as he got up from the couch. He picked the cat up and rubbed its belly. He walked to the kitchen and set the cat down on the table. He reached into the little drawer he kept of treats and toys for the cat and took out a bag.

He put some of the treats on the table and put the bag back in the drawer.

Today school started later because of the rain. There was a flood warning, so school was pushed back three hours. Varian didn’t know why they didn’t just cancel it. Seems pointless to only be at school for 4 hours.

But then again, he was biased since he would miss his favorite class and go straight to a class that he had Hugo in.

He hated that class.

Not only was it History, but it also had him in there. Varian saw Hugo and wanted to punch him and then kiss the bruise he left. He was so in love that he wished he’d just disappear. Hugo seemed to feel the same way, but Varian wasn’t going to let up. Not after what he did.

Varian was thinking about him again and snapped out of his thoughts. The moment he did, he saw his dad standing in the doorway. Varian scrambled to pick the cat off the counter just as it finished eating.

All it took was a look for Varian to realize he was doing something wrong.

“I forgot.” Was all he said as he went back to the couch.

Quirin hated having the cat on the counter. He didn’t like the cat in the first place, but he was willing to let it go if Varian followed the rules. He just hated having to clean up cat hair, especially when it’s in the kitchen.

Quirin walked into the living room. “We’re leaving in about an hour.”

Varian nodded. “Yes, sir.”