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Buck left Maddie’s house feeling… well, confused.
Was he in love with Eddie? No… No? No!
Sure, he thought he was really fucking hot and sexy and imagined slamming him through the door of the fire engine and making out with him on the floor in between calls, but everyone feels that way about their best friends. That’s just because they’re so close. Platonically.
Buck got in his overly expensive truck which was magically parked where his Jeep used to be one morning, and drove back home. The entire way he was imagining picking petals off a flower while melodramatically reciting “Call Eddie, call Tommy, call Eddie, call Tommy,” to himself.
When he got home he skipped to his door because it was an efficient way of travel which he was testing out before implementing it in his daily life. He was still hung up (haha, get it?) on who to call but luckily the choice was made for him when he saw Eddie’s name pop up on his phone. He twirled around in a circle and raised his fist in the air before bringing it down with a hissed “Yes!!!”
“Hello.” Buck answers, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
“GOOD NEWS! SHES DEAD!” Eddie’s voice rang through the speakers. “THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD! THE WICKEDEST WITCH THERE EVER WAS! THE ENEMY OF ALL OF US HERE IN OZ! IS DEAD! GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS!”
“Eddie? What’s going on?”
Eddie stopped singing. “Bust out the good silverware, Buck, he’s gone.”
“Who’s gone?” Buck questioned, literally kicking off his shoes and aiming for the target he stuck on the wall.
Buck’s phone made some weird noise in his hand so he looked at it and saw an incoming facetime request from Eddie. He answered.
Eddie’s face appeared on his screen, shining and happy. “Thomas Fucking Kinard!” Eddie nodded looking pleased. “That’s his full legal name, by the way.”
“WHAT!” Buck shrieked, but honestly he was relieved he never had to see that freak again. “How do you know that?”
“LOL.” Eddie said (pronounced like ‘lol’ not ‘el oh el’) “I was his emergency contact. What a #Loser am I right? Thank God you guys weren’t together”
“I just fucked him!” Buck confessed, feeling mortified.
Eddie’s face dropped “Girl….. bad decision” He looked disappointed in Buck.
Buck looked off into the distance as if he were a main in some sort of procedural drama. “And then he implied you were gay and I was in love with you.”
“Buck.” Eddie said and he was shaking the phone so he just sort of looked blurry
“Eddie, stop. What are you doing? Can you hold the camera still?”
“No! I’m shaking sense into you.” Eddie said. “I am Homosexual. I’m not straight. My realisation started when a priest was flirting with me over juice one day.”
“OMG?!” Buck said. He stood up from where he was sat on his couch. “Eddie, I must confess……. I am in love with you.. Maddie just also told me and the imaginary flower only confirmed it.”
“Buck…. I’m in love with you too!”
“Wow. This is the best day of my life.”
“We are also coming back to LA because we don’t like it here in El Paso.” Eddie added.
“You make horrible financial decisions, Eddie.” Buck said, nudging his metaphorical credit score sign behind his back
“I know. But, right now, Chris is at a sleepover.”
“OMG!!!! You know what that means?” Buck asked
“CRAZY PHONE SEX!” They yelled at the same time.
So, they went and had, as they put it, crazy phone sex.