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“You’re a bad guy, you know that?” Foolish muttered, twisting blades of grass between his fingers.
Bad, who had very nearly fallen asleep on a very comfortable, golden bicep, was rather put out by the question. It was rare that the two of them had peaceful moments like this, stargazing on the hill beside the kingdom’s castle. It was rare - but it was becoming increasingly common, Bad had noticed.
“You’re the bad guy.” He retorted sleepily, turning his head ever so slightly to make disgruntled eye contact. He really had been napping and Foolish knew how little he slept. It was rude, is what it was.
Foolish shifted the arm not trapped under Bad’s head closer to his face, squinting in focused concentration at the grass he was beginning to interlock. Clearly, it was difficult to do so single-handedly, but Foolish made no move to dislodge Bad. A king though he was, there were some laws even he didn’t dare break. “Your name is literally Bad.”
“And whose fault is that, hm? Foolish?” Bad’s eyes lingered on Foolish’s face for a moment, but the totem did not look up. “Maybe somebody should’ve picked us out some better aliases before we went and tangled ourselves up in mortal affairs.”
“How was I supposed to know it would stick?”
“I warned you that names have power, Foolish, but noooo, you never think ahead! You never listen!” Bad cried, exasperated. He lifted his head up and let it thunk back down onto Foolish’s arm, reveling in the resulting grunt of discomfort. He eyed the limb hungrily. Surely it was asleep by now, who’d even notice if he had a taste test?
“‘Bad’ is close enough to your real name anyway,” Foolish grumbled. “And you’re still a bad guy.”
Despite the casual tone of voice, he still didn’t look away from where he was fiddling with the grass blades. Bad rose off of Foolish’s arm and turned on his side to face him, propping himself up on one elbow.
“Why am I a bad guy, Foolish?” He asked quietly. “Is it because of this little war I’m starting? I thought you said you wanted me to stir something up, so you’d have an excuse to ‘rally the troops’.”
“Did I say that?” Foolish asked, racking his brain. He couldn’t remember - he couldn't even remember yesterday - but he probably had. Bad didn’t lie to him nearly as much anymore - there just wasn’t a point. “When did I say that?”
“A while ago.” Bad answered, still studying his face. “Is it because it’s upsetting Ros? Do you care if Ros gets her feelings hurt, Foolish?”
The tone was ever-so-slightly mocking, but the question was genuine.
“I could live without your crazy ass ruining her life every five seconds. Scumbag.” Foolish responded, braiding several grass strands together and carefully threading them through an opening.
Bad’s tail pointedly curled tight around Foolish’s calf at the swear, but he otherwise didn’t react. “So is that why I’m a bad guy?”
There was a pause. The night sky was entirely silent and dark, devoid of even bird calls. Nearby, the castle glistened. In the distance, the cathedral loomed.
“No,” Foolish admitted.
“Then why- you’re not even looking at me! Why aren’t you looking at me!” Bad leaned closer. “Foolish. Foo-lish!”
“Get out of my face, I’ve seen your ugly mug enough for a lifetime. Actually, make that several lifetimes.” Foolish tried to elbow him backwards, but it was a token effort at best, and Bad didn’t bother moving. There was a fragile twist to Foolish’s voice that was far too intriguing to leave alone now.
“I do what needs to be done and you know it. Besides, it would be boring without me, wouldn’t it? Don’t I add a little spice to your life, Foolish?” Bad cooed, leaning in closer to try and catch Foolish’s eye.
“And when you’re done playing your stupid little game here, then what? You gonna let it be boring again? Huh, pal?”
Bad hummed. “Probably. Hopefully.”
Almost imperceptibly, his gaze darted skywards. Now, with the nature of Bad’s eyes, it was difficult to determine the direction he was looking at any given moment. It was effectively impossible to notice when that direction shifted.
Foolish, naturally, noticed.
“‘Hopefully’” He repeated, in a half scornful, half defeated tone. The hand that held the woven grass fell motionless onto his stomach as Foolish let his head fall abruptly sideways - angled away from Bad.
“What?” Bad allowed genuine confusion to seep into his voice. Something was certainly wrong with Foolish. He never acted like this in reaction to any game they’d played before, no matter the mortal cost. Had he gone too far with this one? Was it time to backtrack? “You said it yourself - we can’t have conflict 24/7, we’d have nobody to hang out with! Even I need vacations once in a while; and you’re always telling me: ‘oh, Bad, a little boredom is good for the soul-’”
“You know what’s really boring, Bad?” Foolish said flatly, finally turning to face him. Bad opened his mouth to speak, but Foolish cut him off. “Wandering the earth alone for hundreds of years because the worst person you know decided to ditch the mortal coil without even bothering to tell you he was leaving.”
Bad blinked, taken aback. Then he blinked again, but the cold, accusatory expression on Foolish’s face didn’t go away.
Alone? For hundreds of years?
Had he been in Heaven that long?
… It certainly hadn’t felt that way.
“That’s where you were?” Foolish scoffed, and only then did Bad realize he’d spoken outloud. “Let you back in, did they? Suckers. What brings you all the way back down to this lowly dimension then?”
Suddenly struck with an inexplicable feeling of dread, Bad cautiously ventured, “Well, I missed those green, gumdrop eyes of yours for one-”
Foolish laughed abruptly, cutting him off. The sound was loud and angry, and it grated on Bad’s ears like a hundred sharp teeth.
“You didn’t miss me at all, you motherfucker. Not my eyes, or anything else! You were up there having the time of your life, and I was down here with nothing, and you- you didn’t think of me once!”
Alarmed, Bad froze in place. “Of course I was thinking about y-”
“If you were-” Foolish interrupted, grasping Bad’s swishing tail and ripping a few dark strands from it, “you would’ve noticed when I prayed to you the first time, you asshole.”
Bad was silent. His tail stung where Foolish had pulled out growing fur, but seeing as the pilfered strands were already being tugged into place alongside grass blades, he figured he probably wouldn’t be getting them back.
Foolish had prayed to him? While he was in Heaven?
“You prayed to me?”
And he hadn’t noticed it?
The totem huffed, exhaling all his anger and frustration in one breath. But it was almost worse now; without all the rage, he just looked hurt. “It wasn’t very often, okay, so don’t even start with the bragging ‘cuz- ‘cuz I am not in the mood.”
“I’m not going to brag, Foolish.” Bad said softly. He took Foolish’s free hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.”
“Whatever, man,” Foolish said, but he gripped Bad’s hand right back. “It doesn’t matter. You’re just going right back, aren’t you?”
Bad’s brow furrowed. “How did you- I mean. Uh. Well, I do have a job to do here.”
“Yeah, I bet you fuckin’ do.” Foolish rolled his eyes, “Always a job with you. God forbid you visit your old pal Foolish out of the kindness of your heart.”
“Literally.” Bad agreed, and then, “is this why you’ve been so clingy this time around?”
“Clingy!?”
“Yes! You’ve-”
“I have not been clingy, that’s- that’s crazy. You’re the clingy one!”
“I know, Foolish,” Bad raised his voice to be heard above Foolish’s offended shouting. “But I used to be the only one, you know? Now it’s… different. You’ve been different.”
“Woah, hey now, I’m never different,” Foolish argued, a hint of fear creeping into his tone. “I’m always the same. I’m always me. I’m not like you.”
“Then why are we still holding hands right now?” Bad mused, holding their interlocked hands up pointedly.
Foolish yanked his hand away. “Because you grabbed it without me noticing, jerk.”
Bad shrugged, examining the mixture of grass and fur that he’d stolen while Foolish wasn’t looking.
It was woven into the shape of an ankh, and it thrummed with active power: a votive offering. For him? How sweet! And, if Bad was honest with himself, how concerning.
“You didn’t pull away, Foolish. You’ve been pulling away less and less.”
“Yeah, so what?” Foolish grumbled. “Maybe I’m just more patient nowadays.”
“Or maybe you’re hopelessly in love?” Bad purred jokingly, snuggling up close.
Foolish head-butted him as soon as he was close enough, and he did it hard. “Don’t push it.”
The two of them went quiet. The sun would soon rise, and with it their daily obligations; they had parts to play in an endless performance with an ever-changing audience, and those parts could not be neglected.
For now, at least. Bad didn’t know what would happen when he returned to Heaven upon completing this mission. He didn’t know if they’d ever send him out again. He didn’t know if he’d ever see Foolish again.
A problem for another day, perhaps. It wasn’t like either of them could do anything about it now; and Bad would sacrifice the world, Foolish included, to see his children again. Even still…
“Would you come with me, if I asked?” Bad said quietly, staring up into the stars - and even past them. “Once I’m done. Once I have to leave.”
Foolish’s eyebrows ticked upwards with surprise. “Not sure I’m cut out for all that.”
“You’re golden,” Bad pointed out absently, “They do love gold up there.”’
“Hm.”
“So?” Bad pressed on, turning his head to face Foolish, who was already looking at him. They were so close now that their noses almost touched. “Would you go with me?”
Foolish sighed. “I want to live, Bad. You know I don’t really do the whole ‘dying’ thing.”
“You do when it’s me killing you. Why is it different then? Why can’t it be different now?”
Foolish sighed even louder. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“… Okay,” Bad said, allowing the matter to drop without comment. “Okay. Do you want to go do something?”
“You always want to go do something.” Foolish scolded with a lopsided grin, his previously heavy attitude seemingly forgotten - or hidden. “Take it slow, Bad, learn to enjoy the quiet things in life.”
Bad studied his face for a long, long moment, and then smiled softly. “You know what, Foolish?”
“Hm?”
“You might be right.”