Work Text:
The first time Suji called Doa, after everything, was twenty minutes after Doa arrived in the United States of America. She didn't change her phone number yet. She was waiting for her luggages when the phone in her pocket started to vibrate. She expected it to be her dad, but it wasn't. It was Suji.
"Hey," Doa heard Suji's voice through her phone. "Did you land safely?"
"Yes," Doa answered. "Were you stalking my flight?"
"No, I just trusted your calculations," Suji responded.
Right, Suji's poor attempts of small talk after their talk included the former asking how long the flight was. And Doa gave her an answer, one that included how long it would take to get everyone in the plane and any other type of disturbances. Her calculations were just a few minutes late. But if it's five in the afternoon now in America, that would mean it's six in the morning back in South Korea.
"It's six in the morning over there," Doa stated, then paused. She bit her bottom lip, hesitant on asking the next question, the only question, she had in mind. "Did you set an alarm?"
"Yes," Suji answered. "I wanted to see if your calculations were correct. Oh, and that you landed safely." Doa knows that she was just teasing and it brings a smile to her face. "Anyway, I have to go. I'm gonna meet up with Jaeun. Bye, Doa."
"Bye, Suji," Doa says, then the call ends.
If Doa were to be honest, she's not sure whether she's grateful that Suji was still holding on to their friendship or if she wishes Suji just left it at yearly birthday wishes. Doa made the deliberate decision to confess right before she left for America because she knew she was going to get rejected and she didn't want to have to deal with the awkward aftermath of constantly seeing each other.
But instead, Suji does this. She sets an alarm to the calculated guess Doa made on when the plan would land just to call her and check in on her. She has fallen into the heart-shaped hole that is Seong Suji and instead of a ladder, she's been given a shovel.
Doa doesn't receive a call from Suji for a while after that first call. Their communication has mainly been replies from their Instagram stories. Suji posts more than Doa does, probably Yerim's influence on her. But Doa only reposts stories from her friends, and that's rare since she barely goes out with friends in the first place.
But when she does, Suji never forgets to reply to every story. Sometimes it would be a sarcastic remark like, "Wow, Seo Doa has time to hang out with her friends but doesn't bother sending a message to me?" or something more tame like, "When will it be your turn to treat me?" It turns into a short conversation that always ends with Suji messaging, "I'll go to sleep now, but let's talk again soon, yeah?"
Doa never started the conversation, only ever responded. She wonders if Suji ever noticed that. But if she did, she still continued to start every conversation and let it go on until it ended. She had a good reason for never starting the conversation, hoping that she could move on faster if they lessened their conversations, but it seems like Suji just doubled her efforts to talk to her.
But eventually, it starts to end. Doa reposts a story that her friend tagged her and Suji doesn't reply, all she does is like it. And that happens again and again and again. But Suji still posts her stories. Doa still sees them, even though she turned off her notifications for Suji's posts and stories. It's progress, she tells herself.
Suji's stories have consisted of food, her with her friends, and her with Jaeun. There was never a formal announcement or anything, but Doa knew. She has always known. Her stories with Jaeun were never explicit, but sometimes Suji would wear one of Jaeun's jackets or sometimes it would just be a picture of her that has the caption "Taken by Jaeun." It's clever wordplay that Doa can appreciate, even if it does hurt her heart a little bit.
Yes, now it's only a little bit. With them communicating less, she can say that there's progress in her finally moving on. She's learning how to climb out of that heart-shaped hole, and even though she's still miles away from reaching the top, she at least has hope that she will reach it.
But then, she feels her phone vibrate and hears the ring as she's about to study. She was about to turn her phone off, like she always does when she's studying to prevent any distractions, but it's ringing and the name "Seong Suji" comes up. And she falls back down, all that progress goes down with her as she answers it.
"Hey, stranger," Suji says through the phone. "It's been a while."
"It has," Doa responds. It's a brief response. It's better that way, she tells herself.
"How have you been?"
Doa takes in a breath. "I've been good," she answers. It's true, or at least it was before this phone call.
"You're answering drier than usual, were you about to study?" Suji asks, and Doa wonders how she knows that. This was only the second time they called, after all. But she decides not to ask, because asking will only lead to more conversation, and she's knows less talk is better.
"Yeah, I was,” Doa answers. Again, it’s true, but she also adds on, “I might not answer next time or reply to your messages, I’ve getting really busy with school.” It wasn’t a lie, she’s always busy because of school, but she’s always managed to make time for things she wanted to do, like those few hangouts with friends, or watching a documentary, or those short text conversations she’d have with Suji before.
It makes her wonder if Suji can see through that. But all she hears from the phone is, “I understand, let’s make the most out of this last call then?”
Doa bites her lip, her eyes instinctively closing when she feels tears forming. She doesn’t know whether the tears are from the fact that this would be their last phone call or the acceptance in Suji’s voice that showed that she can see right through her excuse, but she let her get away with it anyway. It could be both.
“Yeah, we should,” Doa responds. As their conversation continues, she lets herself lean back into her chair and smile at everything that Suji says.
When the call ends, so does their communication. The most they interact after that are liking each other’s posts, something that Doa interprets as Suji being there if ever she’s ready to talk again, and birthday greetings. It’s like that for years.
It doesn’t change until she gets a call while she was on duty, many years later. She’s a year into her residency at a hospital her dad recommended her to. She usually has her phone off while she’s on duty, so she didn’t receive it, but she checked it once she got home to her apartment.
That’s when she saw her name, Seong Suji.
Even though she missed the call, she saw that Suji left a voicemail. Doa’s not sure what to expect from it, not sure what emotion she should be feeling. She managed to escape that heart-shaped hole eventually, but she knows how easy it’ll be to fall back in. She presses play on the voicemail and the first thing she hears is a chuckle, then the words, “Hey, stranger.” It brings a smile to Doa’s face. She missed Suji’s voice.
The voicemail continues, “I know it’s weird to be calling out of the blue after nine years, but I wasn’t sure if you’ve been checking your mail. I sent you something.” Doa immediately gets up and checks the pile of mail on her kitchen counter. “I sent you an invitation, a wedding invitation.”
Doa stops moving, breathing, thinking. It feels like everything for her just stopped. She knows it’s not realistic but she even feels her heart stop beating for just a second before she hears Suji speak again from her phone.
“It’s crazy, gay marriage is legal now in South Korea. It really shows how long it has been since everything. Since the Pyramid Game, since the last time we saw each other. Anyway, I hope you’ll be able to attend, it’d be nice to see you again.” Then, the voicemail ends.
Doa finds the invitation. “Myeong Jaeun and Seong Suji,” she reads in a whisper. It really has been a while. She’s becoming a doctor and now, the girl that left a mark on her heart is getting married to someone else.
And she still smiles.
It’s been a while since they last talked, even longer since they last saw each other in person. But she’ll see them again in two months. And she can be happy seeing the girl she once loved be in love with someone else.