Chapter Text
Lottie woke up with an incredible headache not quite understanding what day or time it was. She rolled over to her side and picked up her phone which was charging on her nightstand. It was the first day of summer break, and yet again she was left alone in the big Matthews “family” house.
The house was big and empty and the only ones there - besides Lottie - was Maggie, the Matthews family servant who had been more present in her life than her parents, the cook and the chauffeur.
Her mother and father had never really been proper in her life. They went and came as they wished, but from Lotties point of view they just decided to disappear after the incident . Her father was a high ranked business man who traveled wherever his job led him, and her mother followed him wherever he went.
Her phone buzzed and she picked up, seeing that she had gotten a message from Jackie. She had been invited to Jeff Sadeckies yearly summer party, and so had almost everyone else from Wiskayok High School. She had been invited each year, but never really showed up. She would arrive, find it boring and head home.
She didn't think he would even launch a party unless it was to show off Jackie. They had a bond, sure , but even Lottie could see that Shauna and Jackie shared something that they could never - she even felt bad for Shauna whenever Jeff and Jackie “showed off” at whatever party they went to.
The way Jackie and Shauna looked at each other was no secret for the rest of the Yellowjackets, though no one ever said anything because they all knew it was best for them to figure it out on their own. It still didn't stop them from teasing them.
Lottie let out a frustrated groan when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. It was Maggie, bringing her morning meds and a glass of water. Lottie had always been too scared to tell her friends about her illness, scared if they would think her crazy or weird - which in reality didn't matter because she knew they would accept it, though knowing the fact she was still scared.
She didn't really have anyone she trusted with her so-called “secret”. She felt lonely even though she knew she had friends.
She sat up in bed and accepted the glass of water, swallowed her meds and gave the empty glass back to Maggie.
“Do you wish for something more Charlotte?” she said. Charlotte … no one ever called her that anymore, besides Maggie and her parents. She never really liked being called by her full name since it reminded her of unwanted memories, everyone just called her Lottie or Lot.
.
She got up and dressed in some casual clothes, nothing too fancy since she wanted to try to put some effort in getting dressed for the party, she had a lot of time to use. She headed down the street not really knowing what she was looking for. Eventually she was hoping for something to catch her eye. The streets were oddly empty, though it made some sense. Most were probably already gone on vacation.
“Lottie!” she heard from across the street, it was Van and Tai. She was surprised to see them. They ran over the street to meet her. “Hi! What are you guys doing so early?” Lottie asked.
“Well nothing special, trying to make the time pass.” Tai said while looking over at Van. They smiled at each other, holding hands. Lottie was fond of their relationship, but she was also a bit jealous that she didn't have something like them.
“Me too” she only smiled back, not really knowing how to keep the conversation going. They slowly walked down the street, not quite knowing what to say.
“You looking for something in particular or?” Van asked. “I don't know, just hoping something would catch my eye” Lottie said, looking around the street. They walked for a bit, looking at different shops and chatting. “Seems like a new store has opened” Tai said, stopping to point at a store over the street.
The storesign said THE DARKROOM Photo&Film Supplies. It was an incredible design for the shop. The window was showing an exhibition on mainly different models of cameras and some VHS-Tapes. The window was shaped like a massive film camera.
One thing Lottie really liked was photography. It was something she loved and was passionate for. She loved capturing moments people had together or things she just found amusing or pretty. She recognized the camera model for the window of a film camera from the late 1950s.
Lottie and Van only looked at each other once, nodded, and knew exactly what to do. Van let go of Tais hand and they ran over the street directly towards the shop, leaving Tai behind in utter confusion. “What the fuck happened to me!?” Tai shouted from across the street, looking like an angry little dog. “Loser!” was the only thing shouted back.
Lottie and Van entered the shop looking around in pure amusement and disbelief. “This is fucking amazing” Van said as they speedwalked over to the VHS-Tape collection. Lottie didn't know what to say, she only looked around not even knowing what to do with herself. How come she hadn't seen this shop earlier? Tai finally walked in the door and headed straight toward Van.
“Geez if you guys only ran that fast during soccer practice we wouldn't have lost. Then we would’ve actually gotten the chance to go to nationals” Tai said, rolling her eyes. “Haha very funny Tai” Lottie said back in a sarcastic tone, looking over at Van who was trying their best to not burst out in laughter.
They walked out the store and both of them were very happy with what they had found, except for Tai who had to wait for them more than an hour while they browsed the store. Van had bought a brand new The Shining tape - which was ironic since it was the middle of summer, though no one can really stop Van when they first find something they really liked.
Lottie had bought herself a brand new camera. She was very happy, finally she had something that could bring a genuine smile back on her face. Oh how she loved photography. “Happy with you new camera huh?” Van said. Lottie only nodded back and gestured for Tai and Van to stand together, snapping a few photos of them.
“They had a darkroom at the back of the shop, I‘ll go back and get the photos another day.” Lottie said. “I think you might’ve been there for a whole fucking week if I didn’t drag your ass out” Tai said, eyeing both Lottie and Van who only snorted out a laugh.
“You’re coming to the party later tonight right?” Van asked. “Yeah ofc, I don't really have anything else to do anyway. Might even put some effort in getting dressed.” Lottie answered. “Ooo Lottie dressing up, don't see that side much” Tai teased. “Better not steal my girl Lot” Van said, jokingly pulling Tai closer to them. Lottie only rolled her eyes and waved them off. “See you at the party!”
___________
Lottie didn't quite know what to even wear. Her favorite (and only) party-outfit was a fuzzy pink sweater, paired with a short checkered pink skirt. This time she wanted to try something different.
“What do you even fucking wear to a party where literally everyone is invited?” she mumbled to herself. It was kind of nice having one party outfit, then you didn't need to stress over what to wear. The only problem is that people get tired of seeing you in the same outfit. She didn't really want to be one of those who showed up only to steal the moment and attention away from the perfect couple , but at least she could try to look decent. Nat always liked to dress up, she had good style too and got the attention from quite a few guys, sometimes girls as well.
She dug through her closet, finding lots of different clothes to try different combinations. She eventually landed on a pair of black flared jeans, paired with a dark-blue shirt with bell sleeves. She found a nice belt to match and unbuttoned the first two buttons on her shirt.
“Well this could work” she said to herself while looking in the mirror. This was usually way beyond her normal style - though again, she wanted to try something new.
She went to the bathroom to do her makeup and fix her hair, not really doing much since she already had good looking hair. She got a message from Van asking if she wanted to get picked up with them and Tai. She politely answered no and went back to her getting ready for the party routine. There wasn't really anything else to do. She had fixed her hair, done her makeup and found a surprisingly good new party outfit.
She still had some time to spare, so she went downstairs to the kitchen to get a snack. She knew she would be drinking and it's never a good idea to drink on an empty stomach - referring to Nat who is an absolute idiot to thinking that was a good idea. (and for everyone else reading this, not a good idea. Eat like a piece of bread, fruit or something, please)
Maggie brought her medicine, which she swallowed in one go, and called for the Matthews chauffeur to drive her to the Sadecki house. The Chauffeurs name was Marcus, he was a decently old looking guy. He had been The Matthews family chauffeur as long as Lottie could remember - which is why he stayed behind while her parents went around the world.
She found her bag with things she needed if necessary, put on her shoes, found her black leather jacket, her brand new camera, and headed out the door. Marcus stood already parked outside by the driveway, waiting for Lottie. Lottie jumped into the backseat and they were on their way.
“Marcus, can you park a few minutes away from the house? I’ll walk rest of the way. Oh and also! Don't pick me up at the usual time, I’ll call you. If I don't, I'm probably at a friends house or something.” she said.
Everyone already knew she had a Chauffeur, but she still didn't like people seeing her getting picked up or dropped off in such a fancy car. There had been a few times she had been picked on for it, it was never something she enjoyed. It made her feel more like an outcast.
She finally arrived at the house, there was loud music and decorations everywhere. There were already a good amount of people here, and Lottie thought she arrived early. She walked up to the front door and opened it, immediately being hit with the strong smell of booze and the sound of teenagers laughing and having fun. She walked through the living room on her way to the back porch of the house.
“Lottie!” someone shouted. She turned around and spotted Van, Tai, Nat and a few others of the Yellowjackets. “What the fuck happened to you? You're dressed for the wrong decade Lot.” Nat said, looking at her with a fucking grin on her face
Lottie only rolled her eyes “Wanted to try something new, smart ass” she said with a playful laugh. Lottie often called Nat for smart ass, it was an inside joke they had kept going. Last year one of the jocks (that everyone knew had a crush on her) had written smart ass on a yellow post-it and stuck it onto her back as a way of flirting . Nat took it to heart and punched him right in the face, which he obviously deserved anyway. After that Lottie hadn't been able to let go of it and had jokingly called her “smart ass” from time to time.
“Anyway, where is Shauna and Jackie?” she asked the others. “Oh you know, the usual,” Van jokingly said. Of course Shauna was following Jackie like a dog tied to a leash, sadly she had to watch Jackie and Jeff dance. Lottie didn't really question it anymore.
The rest of the girls walked over one of the bonfires, there were several because Jeff had a fucking big garden. She wouldn't be surprised if the house suddenly started to burn.
She asked if any of the others wanted a drink, and went to grab herself one as well. She joined the rest of the group and started sipping from her red solo cup. Suddenly Shauna and Jackie joined them, which confused the rest of them since Jackie usually stays with Jeff throughout the night, and Shauna is wherever Jackie is.
“What happened to you?” Tai asked. “Jeff is so not it right now” Jackie answered with a frustrated groan. They all looked over to Shauna who only looked back with a facial expression that clearly said, don't ask unless you want to deal with her temper . Everyone knew how short Jackies temper was, so they all stayed silent.
They stayed silent for a while, sipping from their red solo cups. Jackie let out a pout and finally broke the silence with “Lottie, what's going on with the camera? Is it new?” she asked. Lottie was more than happy to tell how she, Van and Tai found a new shop called THE DARKROOM, and how Tai basically had to drag them out of there.
She snapped photos of all her friends, they all laughed and had fun. She turned around to take a final photo of Jackie and Shauna, but when she looked through the camera she didn't see them … but a girl looking directly back at her through the lens.
The girl sat alone on one of the wooden benches across from their bonfire. She wore a floral dress, layered over a white long-sleeve shirt with a cardigan and light blue jeans. Her hair was blond and she wore a black headband with a bow.
When Lottie pointed the camera towards her the girl seemed startled, and had an expression that looked like she had been caught. She shyly smiled and carefully waved towards her. Lottie lowered her camera and waved back with curiosity. She felt a sudden fluttering in her chest.
“Hello?? Lottie?” Lottie was ripped out of her sudden distraction and looked at Jackie and Shauna with confusion. “Huh what?” she said. Tai turned to look where Lottie had stared and immediately knew… “I see someone caught your eye huh?” she said, trying her best not to tease.
“Do you know her? Never seen her before.” Lottie said while trying to look for the blond haired girl that she just saw. She was still sitting at the bench, and was nervously fidgeting with her fingers in her lap.
“Well someone is desperate” Van snorted out, trying not to laugh over how obvious she was. Lottie rolled her eyes and looked back at Tai, “Yes or no?” she asked, annoyed.
“I think I’ve seen her in the hallways at school a few times,” Nat said while taking a drag from her smoke. “She’s new. I don't know her name, besides that she's super religious and always around Mari.” Jackie said.
Shauna looked over at Lottie. Her expression and her entire vibe had suddenly changed. She tried getting eye contact with Lottie but it didn't work. She tried again but gave up and decided to speak up.
“Do you really think this is a good idea Lottie?” Shauna said. Her tone seemed worried, which apparently confused Lottie since she only shrugged at the question.
“You know how last time went, Lot..” she said while letting out a silent sigh. Shauna wasn't mad, but sounded generally concerned. Everyone turned around to face her, waiting for her to reply. Lottie tried playing it off by laughing, clearly uncomfortable in the situation she had gotten herself in.
When she realised she couldn't play it off she didn't really know what to do or say. She was uncomfortable and grew more and more anxious by the silent time passing. What happened that one single time wasn't entirely her fault. She didn't know that something like that would happen, no one did.
“It- It won't happen again I promise…” she stuttered while looking around herself, trying to hide away her anxiety. When she realised no one believed her she felt like a knife had been twisted in her chest. A silent tear fell down her cheek, “It’s not my fault that I am the way I am…” she said before wiping her eyes and leaving the others.
She walked fast over the garden, trying to get to the bathroom before more tears spilled. Lottie was angry that not even her friends could try to understand. She did try, she really did, but somehow it was never enough. Never enough for her parents, and now her friends.
When she reached the porch angry tears fell down her cheek. She walked inside, past people doing whatever. She could see a few passed out on the floor, others were dancing and some were making out. She was happy people were distracted, if not she would probably get a bad reputation.
When she reached the bathroom it was locked. She banged on the door, needing to be let in before she could feel herself completely breaking down.
“For fucks sake Lottie, keep it together” she mumbled to herself. She liked talking to herself, she didn't really have anyone else anyway. It calmed her down when she did so, but it didn't really help as much right now.
What was she going to do now? Her only way of an escape from everything around her, the people, the noise, was gone. She was a bit lost as we walked down the hallway not really knowing what she was looking for.
She wiped her eyes again and found herself a red solo cup. She filled it almost to the brim with whatever mix of alcohol they had put in the punch. It tasted awful, though she didn't mind it at the moment. She drank half of it in one go before stumbling over to whatever peaceful corner she could find.
It didn't take long before the alcohol started working. She sat down and just tried to enjoy what she could.
“Hey are you okay?” she heard someone ask. The voice was soft and calming. Lottie wasn't able to fully register what was said and only mumbled in confusion, why would anyone come talk to her? It wasn't before she looked up that she realised who it was.
It was the girl with the sapphire eyes and the blond hair. The same girl that had looked at her through the lens. What was she doing here?