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Marvin is miserable

Summary:

Marvin wakes up (much to his dismay) and whizzer is still gone, he is absolutely grief stricken (whoops)

Notes:

This is my first time writing (shaking and screaming and crying publishing this) anyways i hope you hate this as much as i do, might finish it if ppl want me to but yaknoww... (thats it)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

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It's been two weeks, two weeks since Whizzer died. Marvin tried to sleep in their bed, but knowing that no one would hold him when he got in bed, knowing that no one one would beg him to stay in bed for "just one more second"... He can't handle it. He just couldn't sleep there anymore. He laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He was in a daze, unfocused, and reluctantly awake. Trina and even Mendel tried to call him and left him messages on his answering machine, but he just didn't have the energy to answer them. Jason had come over on Tuesday to play chess, but Marvin couldn't get through the second game. It reminded him too much of Whizzer. Everything did. From the pawns to his neatly folded button-ups inside what used to be their shared dresser, Marvin saw bits and traces of Whizzer everywhere he went. The constant reminder that the only man he had ever loved was gone was too much to bear. He blinked twice, awake from his daze and thoughts, and decided to make some food. He thought to himself, "i just need some food to sleep, that's all, then right after I'll fall asleep and everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.." He continued that thought like a mantra. He knew he was lying, of course, but maybe if he said it enough, he'd start to believe it. He cracked two eggs into a frying pan, and a satisfying sizzle sound erupted. Marvin used to love that sound. It meant that the day was starting and that he'd eat his favorite meal. But now the happiness of morning is nothing if Whizzer isn't with him sharing that moment. It was bearable when they were broken up because then he could still stare at his hair, or rather his bald patch, from the supermarket or at Jasons baseball games. But he can never see him again, not in real life.

Chapter 2: Marvin goes on a walk with the Lesbians

Summary:

The lesbians want Marvin to go on a walk to get some sunlight, ( he has not been out of the house since whizzer died) it goes as you’d expect a sad angry gay man to go on a walk when he doesn’t want to.

Notes:

Got bored and I felt super happy about the comments and kudos so this is a little “thank you for supporting me” chapter

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I wake up to knocking on my door, I just know It’s Cordelia and Charlotte. I get up and open the door, “Hey Marvin.” Cordelia says as if she’s verbally stepping on eggshells, “Mind if we come in?” A nervous but worried smile on her face, I suppose in an attempt to coax me into a calm, as if I’m a rabid dog that’ll bite at any moment. I begrudgingly let them in, I don’t care how I look but judging by their faces, I look like shit. “How’ve you been Marvin? We brought you some food and were wondering if you wanted to go on a walk with us? It’s pretty nice out today.!” Charlotte says while holding a Tupperware, They’ve been trying to get me out of the house for a week now, something about vitamin D deficiency and how if I get some sunlight I’ll feel happier. It’s just bullshit I don’t care about, but I guess I can go on a little walk, maybe it’ll get them off my ass.

“Sure, let me get changed first.” I walk to my bedroom but not before I see their hopeful faces, It’s kinda nice, like nothing is awful. I open my side of the dresser and get a sinking feeling in my stomach just being in ou- my. Bedroom. I walk out wearing a grey hoodie and jeans, Cordelia and Charlotte were in the middle of talking, “So we can try to do this every- Oh! Marvin! You ready?” Cordelia says, semi excitedly. “sure.” I force out a half-assed response, I don’t want to do this, it’s just for their sake really.

We arrived at the park, everything is green and lively and everyone there is happy. Those assholes, how could they be happy at a time like this? Why do they get to have their lovers and not me? I fucking hate them. I wish they go through what I did, I hope they see their lovers slowly die in front of them and can’t do anything about it. Charlotte notices my angry expression and starts talking, “So Marvin, we were thinking we could get together more, even invite Trina and Mendel and Jason? Have a nice little get together?” Cordelia gets excited, “And I can make some food! It’d be super fun!” They smile and I excruciatingly form one, it feels illegal and wrong. “Maybe”, I say dismissively. I can’t stand to see Trina or Mendel, they get everything they wish for, they got their lover and were able to get married, they have the tight knit family I always wanted. It’s not fucking fair. I notice we’ve done a full lap around the park, I don’t care what Cordelia and Charlotte say, I’m going home.

Notes:

Thank you for reading, please comment how sad you are/j
But seriously lmk what you thought of this:}

Chapter 3: Marvin goes for a walk: part two.

Summary:

Charlotte's perspective of the walk (implied self harm)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I pace my living room, stressing about Marvin. I mean, he hasn't been out of the house in what? 2 weeks? He obviously isn't doing too great, i mean, obviously, his boyfriend died, how's he supposed to feel alright‽ Maybe me and Cordelia can coax him out of the house, get some sunlight, talk to friends, I dont know if hes been eating either! I just..

I stop pacing, and I feel two arms wrap around me from behind, and a pair of soft lips kisses my head. My shoulders loosen, and I turn to kiss Cordelia back. "Hi honey." I say a bit too wearily.

she cups my face in her hands, "What are you so worried about, doc?". I furrow my brows in confusion. She smiles lovingly and explains, "You were pacing and mumbling, I knew something had to be worrying you." I sit down, and she sits next to me, I lay my head in her lap, and she plays with my hair. "Im worried about Marvin, I don't think I've seen him leave the house since... I've told him that being out in the sunlight can help him feel better, but he just shrugs it off. She replies, "we can go over to his house, try to convince him with some food, have him see how beautiful the flowers are right now.. if you'd like to, of course."

We walked over to Marvins' house and knocked on the door, I heard a groan, and then the door opened, revealing a depressing mess of a man. "Hey, marvin! Mind if we come in?" Cordelia nervously says. He opens the door wider, inviting us in, "How've you been? We brought you some food and we were wondering if you'd like to go on a walk with us? It's pretty nice out today!" I tried to sound cheerful and convincing, I don't think he bought it, but nevertheless, he agrees.

While he changes clothes, we finally take in his living space, bottles of beer and cigarettes strewn about, a blanket and pillow on the couch, and most concerning, a small razorblade, It's set neatly on the coffee table, away from the booze. I turn to Cordelia, "we can try to get him to do this every- ". I see him walk out out of the corner of my eye, and I stop mid sentence. Cordelia resumes where I left off and says, "Oh hey! Are you ready to go?" He says okay, I can almost taste his unwillingness.

We arrive at the park, and I can't help but feel happy, all the happy families and colorful, blooming flowers. Surely this wonderful view could produce a smile, but I look to Marvin and he has nothing but rage in his eyes, as if everyone here took whizzer away themselves, as if he were in hell, looking at heaven.

"So Marvin, we were thinking we could get together more, even invite Trina and Mendel and Jason? Have a nice little get-together?" I say trying to make conversation, Cordelia, loving the prospect of my suggestion adds; " And I can make some food! It’d be super fun!”. I smile at her excitement, and Marvin seems to smile as well, but it feels disturbing, fake, and unnerving. "Maybe." He spits out like it burned his tongue to say. He lets us know he's going to head home.

I arrive home with Cordelia shortly after, and I think over Marvins mannerisms and words again. He's going to that get-together, whether he wants to or not.

Notes:

Me when I add a IHNMAIMS reference 😎🔥

Chapter 4: Jason has a get-together

Summary:

Jason perspective on all this and everyone goes to his house for dinner

Notes:

Special thanks to Ilovettagoodmusical for the idea and support! Enjoy ♪ヽ(´▽`)/

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Dad's been getting worse. I've only seen him once after whizzers.. ceremony, he looked so lifeless. Like he was a corpse that escaped the casket.

Mom always tells me to visit dad and cheer him up, but im scared. Im scared to see him cry again. It's a terrible sound i only heard once at the funeral. His wails and sounds of utter anguish are things of nightmares, If i could, I would've chopped off my ears myself.

It's an eerie sight to see the strongest person you know completely break down in front of you.

But today, I have no choice but to see him. Mom and Mendel are hosting a "get together." I know it's just an excuse to cheer up, dad, but mom insists it's "just for fun. "

I am tasked with setting up the tables and chairs outside while mom cooks and mendel cleans. Dad, Aunt charlotte, and Aunt delia will be here in an hour, I think.

Im excited for Aunt delia and charlotte to be here, at least.

"We're here!" A cheerful voice i recognized as auntie Delia. I smile a genuine smile (for the first time in three weeks, i might add).

"Auntie Delia!" I run and hug her and then grab the Tupperware she was holding in her hands

"I'll put this on the table for you, take a seat, and we can all play chess!"

While Cordelia is going to the table, I go and hug Charlotte and.. dad. I have an uneasy feeling in my stomach immediately, but I push it down, and I wrap my arms around him.

"Hey, dad." I try to sound confident and happy and not so.. pitying, and sad

"Hey, kid." He sounds tired and just empty inside, like someone hollowed him out.

"You wanna go sit down? I was gonna bring out some board games we can play before the food is done!" I say, trying to focus on games instead of the husk of a person before me.

We sit down at a table, and I pull out two games, chess and battleship.

"Because theres four of us we can just play against each other and then swap games." I said, explaining.

I sat across Charlotte, setting up battleship, I tried my best to put my ships in spots she would never guess.

"C4?" I place a white peg on my board, "Miss".

After about 5 minutes, I regret having ears as I hear a very soft sob after I said "Hit". I look to my dad, and he's wiping his eyes and apologizing to Auntie Delia, Aunt Charlotte notices and tries to pry my eyes away from my dad by guessing another spot.

"G9?"

"Hit and sink."

The food is brought out, and the adults start taking food from the plates and talking about taxes or whatever grownups do. I see my dad just picking at his food, stabbing at the potatoes but never eating.

It's only when the weather is brought up does dad seem interested. He's been on leave for a while, and I admit I do miss seeing him on TV every morning.

Then I hear his name

Whizzer

'Whizzer would've wanted you to move on, find someone else, and get over him." Mom says.

SLAM!

Dads fist slams the table, and a dent is formed.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO SAY WHAT HE WANTS?"

"But-" Mom begins to say

" NO YOU DONT KNOW HIM LIKE I DID. FUCK YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND, GO TO HELL FOR ALL I CARE".

Dad storms off, Aunt Charlotte and Auntie Delia bring me to their house so I don't see mom cry.

I look through the window in the guest room, and I see his shadow, and I feel a sense of dread.

Notes:

Lmk what you think of it, comments are super appreciated!!

Chapter 5: Marvins last giddy seizure

Summary:

Special thanks to SILLY AVA!! your comments make me smile, thank you ☆°•~

Notes:

Suicide TW

Chapter Text

Im dragged out of my bedroom and taken downstairs to Cordelia and Charlottes bedroom.

Cordelia is the hand that grabs me. On her way, she grabs some movies to distract me from what I already know.

Im sat down on their bed, the tv in front of me, playing some show I dont recognize. Maybe I do, but right now, i'm shell-shocked.

She's trying to act like we didn't see him fall.

 

Like we didn't hear the gunshot ring out.

 

Like we didn't see how the window got painted red.

 

Auntie Charlotte ran out the door once she saw what dad was holding. And Auntie Delia ran to console me. The scenario felt practiced through 10 times before by them.

The smoothness of how Auntie Delia grabbed the movies and how they knew what jobs to do, it all felt rehearsed

Oh.

Did they know this would happen? They couldn't have, right?
Because if they knew this was going to happen then why the FUCK didnt they think to stop it?

I heard the stages of grief often don't happen in stages, that it's more like an amalgamation of emotions. Of course It would be that way. Nothing can ever be good or simple to handle, can it‽

I watched my family drift apart, I watched Whizzer get sicker and sicker, and of course, I'd have to see my dad KILL HIMSELF.
"Jason?".

"Y-yes?"

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Um.. okay.".

I try to focus on whatever shitty movi- oh. It's The Truman Show, suddenly tears and snot fall. My favorite movie.

Auntie Delia comes back with apple slices and caramel with a cup of water. She sets down the plate and glass and comes over and hugs me tighty, my face buried in her shoulder.

The smell is familiar and comforting, despite everything.

She sits next to me silently, like she understands. To be completely honest, I don't really know about her childhood. Maybe she went through something similar, but nevertheless, I enjoy her company.

When Whizzer died, mom didn't seem to know how to help. She mainly tried to say he was in a happier place and that he's better now.

But I believe that he was sad. I believe that he wanted to live and be alive with dad and be my dad and watch me learn to drive and graduate and see me get a house.

But I think he's happy now.

Because he's with dad.

I turn and tell all this to Cordelia, just to vent I guess. She nods and acknowledges what I say, no useless advice, no tears, no words, just her letting me know she understands.

Truman looked into the camera, into my eyes, and smiled.

"Good afternoon, good evening, and good night.".

Just as Truman leaves and the movie ends, Auntie Charlotte enters the room. She looks sad and exhausted, she kisses Auntie Delia deeply and I turn away, they both chuckle.

It reminds me of dad and Whizzer. They then both hug me and tell me to get ready for bed.

I brush my teeth and put on Pajamas. They let me sleep in their bed, just for the night. I feel like when I had nightmares as a little kid, I'd crawl into mom and dads bed, and suddenly,

 

Im safe again.

Chapter 6: Abandon fic!!!

Chapter Text

Yeah i have no motivation to continue this. Honestly, this fic is probably the worst thing ive made haha, like looking back on it im a LOT less proud of it. Im sorry if you were hoping for an ending but i seriously doubt anyone really was lol i wish this wasnt my most popular work but here we are, check out my other things if youd like, theyre a bit better

Notes:

Maybe comment or kudos if you really wanna boost my ego, thanks for reading this at all though 😎