Chapter Text
Walk The Line - Part 1
“They’re not your children Eloise.”
“So what, I’m just expected to do all the physical and emotional labour of parenthood but get no say in how things run day to day?”
Phillip sat silent, still. “No.”
“No what?” Eloise demanded, unimpressed.
“No, you’re not expected to do that.” Phillip replied, meeting her fury head on.
“But I am Phillip,” Eloise continued, back to pacing. “The school runs. The meals. The homework. I may not live here, but I haven’t slept in my flat in over a month. My entire life is centred around you and the twins.“
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
Eloise paused, “Didn’t you?” Phillip said nothing. “I’m getting really fucking tired of this Phillip. Your silence, your moods, your mistaken belief that you’re the only one struggling after George and Marina’s deaths.”
“He was my only brother.” Phillip stated, an edge to his voice.
“And he was their only father.” Eloise returned forcefully. “They need understanding, not punishment.”
“They could have hurt their teacher.”
“They could have, but didn’t.” Eloise reminded, shaking her head, frustrated. “The administration doesn’t always know what’s right.”
”Maybe not, but neither do you.”
Eloise pursed her lips, “You want to try that again?”
“I am their legal guardian.”
”And I am your girlfriend. Your partner. The person with which you are sharing that responsibility.”
“Then maybe we shouldn’t.” Phillip replied quietly, sitting back.
Eloise paused, as if she didn’t quite hear, “Shouldn’t what?”
”Share that responsibility.”
“Are you for fucking real? You want me to be your girlfriend but you don’t want me to make decisions?” There was a moment, where they both just stared at each other, before Eloise shook her head. “This is all or nothing Phillip. I don’t play games.”
"Neither do I."
"Then where does that leave us?" Eloise asked, the fight leaving her.
"At the end," Phillip admitted, so softly Eloise barely heard it. After a beat, he straightened, his eyes lifting to meet hers. "We want very different things. And that's never going to change."
"It's never going to change?" Eloise questioned, her hand on the door handle. "Or you’re not willing to try?" Phillip said nothing and Eloise shook her head, stepping into the hallway. "I didn’t want it to end this way Phillip. But it most certainly just did.”
“If you’re going to punch me, then just get it over with.” Phillip offered, leaving the door open for Colin to come into the flat.
“I’m surprised she didn’t punch you first.” Colin eyed Phillip warily, “What the fuck happened mate? She can barely talk through her tears.”
Phillip sighed, turning away from Colin, leaving the choice to enter in his hands. “We broke up.”
“Why?” Colin asked, finally stepping into the flat.
Phillip pulled two beers from the fridge, “It’s not working.”
Colin accepted the beer, but didn’t join Phillip at the table, looking around the flat in confusion, “It is from where I’m standing?” Phillip shrugged and Colin took a long drink, “Look, you’re my friend. And I know you well enough to say you are a good man.” Colin paused, looking torn. “Eloise thinks you ended it over the twins. Because you don’t think she’s good enough to be a mother figure for them?”
Phillip grimaced, “I didn’t say that.”
“What did you say?” Phillip stared at his beer and Colin crossed the room. “I’m trying very hard to give you the benefit of the doubt here, but I just watched my sister have her first panic attack in years because of you.”
Phillip’s head jerked up, clear worry on his face, “Is she…?”
“She’s with Pen. We got her through it, but you fucked up. I know she’s a lot but—“
“She’s not a lot.” Phillip cut in angrily. “She’s…” Phillip trailed off, looking back at the table. “I didn’t mean to upset her.”
Colin sighed, “Well you did, so I will stay with the twins while you go fix this.”
Phillip lowered his empty beer to the table, “There is no fixing this.”
“I know you’re upset, but—“
Phillip shook his head, “I mean it. It’s over.”
Colin ran his eyes over Phillip, weighing his sincerity. “This is my little sister we’re talking about here.”
Phillip jaw clenched, “It’s over.”
Colin took in Phillip’s white knuckle grip on his bottle, the way he refused to look Colin in his eyes. “So that’s it then? You’re just going to walk away?”
“Yes.” Phillip confirmed without hesitation.
Colin’s eyes narrowed, “She’s in pieces Phillip.”
“She will get over it.”
Colin slammed down his half finished beer, “My sister is a damn good mother. She helped heal those kids since the day you brought them home. She has been here, through the sleepless nights and tantrums and therapy. She has held everything together through your grief and this is how you repay her?” Phillip looked away. “You know what? Fuck you. You don’t deserve her. She rearranged her entire life to be with you. She moved in. She put her PhD on pause. She took on all of this on without a single complaint and you can’t even muster up a sorry?” Phillip sat silent, unmoving, and Colin snatched up Eloise’s purse from where she had abandoned it after school. “I thought better of you Phillip. And the worst part is, Eloise did too.”
Colin gathered Eloise’s laptop, and coat, turning to face Phillip at the door, “Pack up the rest of her stuff. I’ll be back to get later in the week.”
And then he was gone, the front door slamming behind him. Phillip sat back in his chair, winded by the weight of his decision, unable stop the tears pouring down his face.
He could do this.
To relieve her of a life that wasn’t hers to live.
To give her a chance at her dreams.
To save her from having to choose.
He could do this.
For her.