Chapter Text
Eurovision 2024!!!
Bambie: this chat is so dead
Olly: yes
Bambie: omg finally it's been like ten minutes
Olly: we're busy people
Bambie: shut up
Olly: why are you telling me to shut up we barely know each other
Bambie: because i can
Bambie: and i know where you live
Olly: how
Bambie: i have my ways
Olly: i'm scared
Bambie: as you should be :)
Silvester: bambie using emoticons is literally giving me one of the most foreboding feelings
Jerry: fr
Aiko: bambie has a very foreboding vibe in general though
Bambie: i have never been given a bigger complement in my life
Joost: you mustn't have gotten many complements then
Silia: joost entering with the sick burns
Joost: hello child
Silia: i'm not a child i'm sixteen
Silia: oops no i'm seventeen
Joost: getting your age wrong is a classic child move
Joost: either that or you're old
Silvester: why is this chat just insults
Jerry: silvester is so wholesome
Alyona: yes
Joost: there will never be a more wholesome artist
Bambie: yes there will be
Bambie: i can see the future
Olly: no you can't
Bambie: olly you will get zero points
Olly took a screenshot of the chat
Olly: screenshotted
Olly: i'll prove you wrong in may
--
Eurovision 2024!!!
Bambie: are you loyal to the cause?
Jerry: what cause?
Bambie: in general are you loyal to the cause?
Windows 95 Man: yes i am loyal to 'the cause
Bambie: silvester as my eurohusband you are obligated to agree with me and say you are loyal to the cause
Silvester: since when was i your eurohusband
Silvester: but fine i'm loyal
Henri: why did i just get a text from teemu telling me to say that i'm loyal to the cause?
Olly: lmfao
Joost: i'm loyal!!!
Joost: the cause is my life!!!!!
Aiko: is this a cult?
Bambie: no i'm just getting a feel for who's loyal
Aiko: um okay
Baby Lasagna: i'd consider myself a pretty loyl person
Bambie: anyone else loyal to the cause?
Bambie: thornton are you loyal to the cause
Olly: what the fuck did you just call me bambie
Silia: who the hell is thornton
Silvester: oh my god your such a good writer
Bambie: oh it's not me it's thornton
Jerry: who the hell is thornton
Silvester: theres a ghost in my body and he is a lyricist
Bambie: it is olly alexander and i think he can't resist
Silvester: yeah his brain is in my hand and it's moving really fast
Jerry: don't know how he possessed me but i'm happy that he did
Joost: cause this song is feeling special and it's gonna make me rich
Angelina: yeah the words are spilling out what the heck is this about
Olly: oh mio padre there's a ghost in my body
Aiko: ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Silvester: po
Bambie: po
Olly: po
Joost: po
Marko: you aren't seriously going to put the whole song in the chat are you?
Joost: well we were
Silia: seriously who is thornton
Olly: seriously bambie did you google me?
Bambie: maybe
Silvester: you had to google that?
Bambie: stalker much silvestras
Alyona: whats silvestras?
Silvester: bambie what was the cause?
Alyona: don't change the subject
Alyona: what is silvestras?
Jerry: i'm with alyona rn and she just opened safari and typed in silvestras
Marina: are we supposed to know what silvestras is?
Silvester: probably not
Alyona: ohh
Marina: did you find out?
Alyona: yes that makes a lot of sense
Marina: what is it i'm curious now?
Alyona: it's silvester's birth name
Jerry: do you prefer silvester or silvestras
Silvester: probably silvester but idk
Silvester: it's what i went by in london because people couldn't pronounce silvestras
Bambie: getting drunk when we meet up
Aiko: ???
Bambie: the cause
Silia: i can't get drunk
Bambie we'll bring orange juice for you child
Joost: good idea
Silia: i'm literally seventeen that's almost an adult
Aiko: girl that doesn't help
Olly: yes!!!
--
Joost has created a new chat
Joost has added Marko, Bambie, Olly, and 9 others
Joost has named the chat "loyal to the cause"
Bambie: are you stealing my ideas klein
Joost: no i just thought this could also be the cause
Bambie: what exactly?
Joost: making a groupchat where people will actually talk
Silvester: hi guys
Aiko: hey
Jerry: hi everyone what is this chat?
Joost: this is the people who are actually active in the main chat
Joost: so we can talk more
Silvester: joost maybe you should take my place as most wholesome artist
Bambie: noooo
Joost: why not
Bambie: because that reminded me
Olly: oh no
Bambie: do you think i can tell the future
Olly: no you said i would get zero points
Jerry: bambie strikes me as someone who can probably predict the future
Silvester: probably
Alyona: no way
Joost: ukraine is disagreeing
Alyona: i'm just practicle
Olly: zero points :(
Bambie: it's true
Silvester: bambie can you give us some predictions?
Bambie: sure
Bambie: olly will get zero points from the televote
Olly: can you stop fucking repeating that
Joost: language there's a child present
Silia: for the last time i'm seventeen
Joost: child
Bambie: second prediction
Bambie: the wicked movie will be good
Aiko: there's going to be a wicked movie?
Teemu: what is wicked?
Henri: TEEMU HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK???!!!
Silvester: it's a really great musical
Angelina: i just finished listening to the soundtrack actually
Joost has removed Marko from "loyal to the cause"
Angelina: why did you do that?
Joost: oh i just realised that i added a random guy named marko instead of baby lasagna lol
Silvester has added Marko to "loyal to the cause"
Marko: joost why did you remove me?
Joost: silvester why did you add him back?
Silvester: because he's baby lasagna
Joost: no i accidentally added a random guy called marko instead
Joost: and you literally added him back
Marko: joost
Marko: i am baby lasagna
Marko: and my real name is marko
Joost: whaat???
Joost: noooo
Joost: you don't look like a marko
Aiko: i think we broke him
Bambie: does anyone want to here my third prediction
Olly: you can't have the attention away from you for five minutes can you
Bambie: no i live for the chaos that i create
Bambie: so third prediction
Bambie: i know the next artist to be announced for eurovision
Silvester: bambie i love and support you but
Joost: nooo wayyy
Silvester: what he said
Olly: same
Silia: no way you know that
Bambie: you doubt me child
Silia: i'm seven actually you know what never mind
Joost: did silia just say she was seven?
Silia: teen
Silvester: a teenage seven year old
Joost: silia the resident teenage seven year old
Silia: i hate adults actually
Bambie: my third prediction is that silia will actually become a teenage prediction
Aiko: a teenage prediction?
Angelina: apparently nobody can type today
Bambie: my third prediction is that silia will actually become a teenage prediction seven year old
Bambie: and my fourth prediction is
Bambie: the next artist to be announced will be switzerland
Bambie: and they will be sending...
Bambie: drum roll please
Joost: *insert drum roll here*
Marina: you guys are insane
Bambie has added Nemo to "loyal to the cause"
Silvester: omg you actually added a random number
Bambie: it's not a random number you idiot
Olly: bambie is practicing bullying today everybody
Olly: bullying and fake future seeing
Bambie: it's not fake thornton
Olly: robinson can you stop calling me that
Bambie: not when you use that tone with me
Olly: i'm literally older than you
Teemu: i'm older than all of you
Teemu: but i inforce no rules
Marina: i have no time for arguments
Alyona: queen
Nemo: hi, i think you added the wrong number to your chat
Bambie: no i didn't
Nemo: sorry, but i think you did, because i have no idea who any of you are
Bambie: you will soon
Aiko: ominous
Bambie: that's me
Nemo has left "loyal to the cause"
Bambie has added Nemo to "loyal to the cause"
Nemo: i really don't think i'm the right person, sorry
Bambie: no nemo you are
Nemo: wtf
Nemo: how did you know my name?
Marko: wait what
Jerry: i went offline for a bit what's happening
Silvester: bambie added a random person to the chat after saying that they know who the swiss esc artist is
Jerry: wow i have no words
Nemo: wait what???
Bambie: see i was right
Olly: no way they were actually right
Joost: they were probably right
Olly: how do you know
Joost: because chaos people stick together
Marina: these conversations never make any sense
Angelina: you just have to go with it
Bambie: anyway nemo i was right wasn't i
Bambie: you are the swiss artist
Nemo: who even are you guys?
--
Nemo and Teya's text messages
Nemo sent an image [a screenshot of the loyal to the cause group chat, starting with Silvester's explenation and ending with the most recent message sent by Nemo]
Nemo: is this normal?
Teya: what even is loyal to the cause?
Nemo: i don't know...
Teya: it sounds like a cult
Teya: it's weird that whoever this person is knows you're the swiss eurovision artist though
Nemo: yeah but it probably just leaked
Teya: that's what happened with me and salena's song so that's a possibility
Teya: how did they even get your number lol?
Nemo: idk but it's weird
Teya: you should ask
--
loyal to the cause
Bambie: nemo is your song good?
Nemo: how did you get my number?
Bambie: i have connections
--
Nemo and Teya's text messages
Nemo: the person just said they have connections
Teya: idk what to say to that
Teya: but please give me updates
Nemo: um sure
--
loyal to the cause
Nemo: i think my song is good
Nemo: but i'm sure people will have other opinions
Aiko: wait so you're actually the artist for switzerland
Nemo: yeah
Nemo: who are you though?
Bambie: crown the witch!!!
Nemo: bambie!!!!
Bambie: nemo!!!!!!
Jaerry: why is bambie fangirling?
Jerry: wait what's the gender neutral term for fangirling
Nemo: fanpersoning???
Bambie: fanpersoning probably
Jerry: okay so why is bambie fanpersoning
Silvester: i'm scared they used exclemation marks
Bambie: am i not allowed to be positive??
Olly: no it doesn't fit that whole scary witch vibe you've got going on
Bambie: whatever nemooo!!!!
Olly: wow
Silvester: ohh bambie i know why now
Bambie: how?
Silvester: google is a very useful thing
Nemo: you googled me?
Silvester: yeah sorry if that's weird
Nemo: no not really :)
Bambie: someone is competing with you for the most wholesome artist award
Silvester: i don't mind
Nemo: i still only know bambie lol
Silvester: oh sorry i'm silvester belt
Nemo: ohh from lithuania
Nemo: i love your song :)
Silvester: thanks!! i'm sure yours is amazing as well
Olly: i'm olly alexander from the uk
Teemu: my name is windows
Teemu: windows 95 man
Teemu: and i only operate by one rule
Teemu: and that rule is...
Teemu: no rules!!!
Henri: otherwise known as teemu and i'm henri
Aiko: i'm aiko from czechia
Jerry: jerry heil from ukraine :)
Alyona: and i'm alyona alyona
Angelina: angelina mango from italy
Marina: marina satti
Marko: i'm marko otherwise known as baby lasagna
Joost: I'M JOOST FROM THE BEST COUNTRY THE NETHERLANDS
Silia: my name is silia from australia
Silia: i mean cyprus
Nemo: thanks guys
Nemo: just a couple questions
Nemo: why are there only spesific esc artists in here
Nemo: and why is this chat called loyal to the cause?
Bambie: because i asked everyone if they were loyal to the cause
Joost: then i made this chat of the people who responded because the actual esc chat is dead
Nemo: okay
Nemo: and what is the cause?
Bambie: i actually don't remember
Silvester: wasn't it getting drunk?
Bambie: oh yeah
Olly: bambie the alcoholic
Nemo: alcohol is free
Olly: what do you mean
Marina: !!!
Marina: icon
Aiko: wait i just had a thought
Aiko: what if nemo isn't the swiss eurovision artist and he is just some random pretending to be called nemo from switzerland
Bambie: um...
Silvester: um...
Aiko: what???
Nemo: i'm actually nonbinary :)
Aiko: omg nemo i'm so sorry!!!
Nemo: you didn't know it's okay
Aiko: i'm still super sorry
Aiko: i take my theory back
Aiko: and supply endless apologies
Nemo: thanks lol
Jerry: that's why bambie was fanpersoning omg
Bambie: having multiple nonbinary artists in the contest is cool okay
Olly: bambie's persona is cracking
Bambie: i'm not heartless
Silvester: don't worry only olly thinks so