Chapter Text
“Okay, hold on,” said Sentinel, eyeing the odd group in front of him.
This has certainly never happened before. Not only had he been sent to another level somehow, but the group in front of him was even odder.
In front of him was a Smiler, in broad daylight (or just light, period), albeit grimacing slightly, a Partygoer that was (unsurprisingly) giggling, a Hound that was cross-eyed, a much-too-large Deathmoth, a Bacteria who seemed to be flipping Sentinel off for no reason in particular, a Bone Thief that was staring (well, not really, the true eyes weren’t showing, luckily) at him, a Duller that seemed extremely bored-and was that Jerry and the Beast of Level 5?!
“I have so many questions.”
One Week Earlier…
“AARRGH!” Smile, the aptly-named Smiler, yelled in frustration. “How can we just stay here in a small corner without LOSING OUR FRICKIN’ MINDS?! This is SO boring!”
The other Smiler that had been chosen to be with him sighed.
“Not this again. I’ve already told you, us Smilers can’t go into light!”
“OUR FACES ARE LITERALLY GLOWING.”
The two Smilers were in a particularly dark corner of Level 3, near an exit to Level 2, in the form of an unlocked door. They both made sure not to get too far from the door incase it vanished.
“Remember the first rule of the Backrooms?”
“You’ve been here before?” asked Smile.
“Uh. Well, what’s the other first rule of the Backrooms?”
“Have fun?”
“What? No? Come on, think.”
“Blood runs red, they’re not dead, blood runs clear, don’t get near?”
“For the love of-how’d you even learn that one? That’s a thing that Wanderers say!”
“I just overheard it,” Smile shrugged.
“Fine. What’s the first rule of the Backrooms that applies to physics?”
It took him a moment, then realization dawned on Smile’s face.
“Oh, yeah! In The Backrooms, physics aren’t.”
“Exactly.”
“…”
They stood still in silence for a few seconds, until Smile spoke. “…But I still wanna leave.”
“Oh, come on!”
“I mean it! How could a little light hurt us?”
“I don’t know, that’s just how it is!”
“Well, I don’t care! I’m getting out of here, and I’m gonna…!”
“You’re gonna what?”
“I’m gonna…I’m gonna…infiltrate the MEG!”
“What.”
“U-uh…Yeah! I’m gonna do it! I’ll prove you all wrong! I can do it by myself!”
“…Listen. If you really are gonna go, and somehow don’t die, then you’ll at least need a team.”
“I’m listening.”
“What? No, I’m not referring to me joining you. I mean, if you want to infiltrate MEG bases, then you’ll need a variety of entities on your side, to confuse the Wanderers and distract them. If you really want to go, I won’t stop you. Just…try to find a team. Also, try to be scary.”
“What?! I’m always scary!”
“No, you’re not.”
“YES I AM-oh hey, a wanderer,” Smile noticed a terrified human holding a flashlight at Smile. The human couldn’t have been over 30.
“Ooh! Looks like someone didn’t read the rules of the Backrooms!” said Smile, gleefully.
“Dude, we’re not supposed to talk, that makes us less scary.”
“I don’t care! Hey buddy,” said Smile to the wanderer. “How do ya like your face being attached to your head?”
Smile then charged at the wanderer.
“LEEROOOOYYYY JENKINS!!!”
3 minutes later…
“That was literally every way not to do it,” the Smiler groaned. “Can’t you just listen?!”
“Nope!” Smile replied, grinning. “So, I’m gonna form my team now! Bye, Jim!”
The Smiler that was apparently known as Jim the whole time and wasn’t noticed by the author groaned. “Just in case anyone is watching this, my name isn’t Jim. Smile just calls me that.”
“Come on, stop acting like we’re a TV show,” Smile said.
“For all we know, our existence is just entertainment for others!”
“…” No one spoke.
“…Who are you?” Smile asked, turning to me, breaking the fourth wall.
“Have you been controlling me?! IS MY ENTIRE LIFE JUST And then Smile and the other guy, who was not named Jim, promptly forgot the last minute.
“Don’t call me Jim,” not Jim said.
“Okay, Jon!”
“I don’t have time for this,” the Smiler said, turning around and punching a rusty pipe, noclipping him into Level 13.
Smile then walked into a wall, noclipping into Level 0, where he would search for allies.