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Chapter Text

I opened my eyes as they crashed against the dazzling sun coming through my window. D-day ,the reaping day, my last reaping day. 

A single day filled with terror before peace. If I make it through this one I would be free. Free from the constant fear of death. Of course I am not immune to hunger and cold but I could manage. I was a lucky girl living alone having only one mouth to feed. Me and my loyal chickens living peacefully in this old recluse part of town. My life is quite peaceful, every morning getting out of bed to collect the eggs before walking to the market to sell them to the merchant. I even grew a few potatoes this year in my free time enough to make a little bit of extra money when I go to the market. My afternoon are filled with talking to the chickens or walking around town. 

That's the perks of being alone no one to tell you what to do or not do.

I sat up in my bed as I look at the moldy clock on the wall. Time to start my last day as a possible tribute.

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As I hand the eggs to Silvia one of the old merchant women I looked behind her. On the step of an old yet inviting home a mother braid the hair of her little girl. She must be 12 years old. The mother is quietly braiding her hair as tears fall silently along her cheeks. I swallow a scoff I hate it. Hate the fact that parents still have kids in a world like ours. That stupid mother just signed up that poor little girl for 6 years of excruciating agony.

I grab my earned money before leaving the market stiffly. I hate this day, I hate seeing tons of kids put through this misery because of stupid parents that fuel into this insane world. I might hate it more than the ball of anxiety sitting at the bottom of my stomach every reaping day for the past 5 years.

As I arrive home I glace at the moldy clock on the wall. I should get ready. The only thing that keep me going on that day is the prospect of looking dazzling as my name is called on stage. I guess you can find hope even in misery.

I open the precious last drawer were my reaping dress is folded properly beside some proper shoes. I grabbed the dress opening it infront of me. A work of art, it's only missing a thing. I layed the dress on the table before dipping into my back pocket where a lone grey moon charm was sitting. I turn it between my fingers looking at the glimmer of light onto the cheap metal. I had to skip breakfast for a whole week to afford this little beauty. I looked at the dress to find an available space for my latest treasure. The dress was quite simple cream with dark grey stitching. But the cream fabric was almost entirely covered in diverse treasure. A flower embroidery on the skirt. A navy cloth patch of the righy sleeve. Everything and anything I could find or buy at the lowest price.

My father used to say that I always want to be unique. He was right, this need for extravaganza didn't change with time. Since forever I always watched the hunger games on the tv not for the games but to see all those people in the capitol allowed to look so extravagant. I dreamed to be them, never hungry and always so unique.

I quickly sew the moon charm in the middle of the collar. "Last time." I mumbled to myself before closing my eyes.

I grabbed the dress before walking to the second room of this tiny house and wash myself.

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As I finish pinning my front hair back I hear the bell announcing the start of the reaping. I almost jump from all this tension building in my stomach. I put a hand on my heart to calm it down. "It's okay it's nothing you did it 5 times already." I grab a last hair pin to secure my hair before leaving the house and starting to make my way to the main square. 

As I arrive this same hatred boil in my vain at the sight of all those kids walking anxiously to the registration booth. I take a spot in the line behind a crying little girl she sniffling heart breakingly.

It's my last year so I know the drill as I stood before the registration table I give them my finger and they register me in no time.

It took a few minutes of waiting before an extravagant old men stood on the stage and took the microphone. "Welcome! The reaping of the 54th hunger games!" I almost tune out instantly this old men been giving the same speech since forever I could almost announce the games myself. But the men's boring speech is nothing compared the frustrating video they show on the screen quickly after. Like I cared about a war that happened 54 years ago. The children having to pay the price of this war weren't even born when it took place. 

"Now let's start the tribute selection shall we!" He said with a big smile like he wasn't about to destroy the life of families. "Let's start with the gentleman." He spoke in such an old fashion manner no boys under the age of 20 should be considered a gentle man it's just chosing a kid to be sent to the death row. 

His hand deep into the papers containing names of friends, cousin and brother's. As he pulled one out everyone hold there breath probably praying for their loved one to not be the unlucky tribute. "James tuning!" A young man probably no older than 16 walk out  of the crowd with a crisped face tears in his eyes but none falling along his face. Good, I thought to myself, they don't deserve your tears.

As the young boy step on the stage the crowd fall silent again as the man walking toward the girl names. I grab the moon charm on my dress to fidget with it trying to ignore the anxiety that is burning a hole in my stomach. He plunge his hand in it ready to ruin someone else's live. It's the last time I told myself once again. As he pull a name out I close my eyes, my heart beat turn into a relentless pounding. Please. "And this year's female tribute is-" I old my breath as the noise of my heart beat almost burry his voice. "Aliss Hatchet!" My heart stop beating completely, the pounding is gone. Only the sound of the wind reach my hearing as my eyes open slowly. The girls around me split a path open a look of almost relief in their face. As my world crumble in my hands they all seem relieved of this situation. So that's how it feel. I graze upon the moon charm with my thumb before starting to make my way out of the crowd.

You can find hopes even in misery. I walked out of the crowd with no hope for survival only wishing to make the most out of my last chance in this world.

Chapter Text

I woke up with a pounding headache. As my tradition I drank on reaping eve probably too much this time. I stumble out of bed as I force my vision to focus. I stumble toward the bathroom weighting the pros and cons to open another bottle. Fucking reaping day. I grab a bottle of headache medicine and swallowed two hoping that it'll tame the pounding in my head. I looked up at the mirror my hair were getting too long again why do they grow so fast. 

I walked to the kitchen were a few bottles were laying here and there between bowls and plates that needed washing. "Fucking hell" I mumbled to myself before pulling my body to the couch were I collapsed on my back and fell back asleep in seconds. My headache better be gone when I wake up again.

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I woke up to the smell of eggs as I sat up still somewhat confused I looked at the kitchen were a man with greyed hair stood his back towards me. I grumble before falling back onto the couch. "You're up!" I sight closing my eyes at his annoying voice. "It's still early leave me alone." I grumbled annoyed. The man laughed from the kitchen before his footsteps grew closer to me. "The reaping is in an hour did you really sleeped all day?" Argh and hour really can't it just be done already.

I open one eye as I hear him put something on the living room table. A plate with eggs and bread. "I'm not hungry" I mumbled before looking up at him. The old man sigh before looking at his watch. "I have to go get ready to announce the tribute." He said as if I cared to answer I only turned my back to him. "If you're not gonna eat at least try to make yourself presentable. You shall be at the train in an hour thirty." I mumbled a yes to make him leave which worked.

As I heard the door close I sat on the couch lazily. I looked at the food plate he made me. I wish I could just sleep through this day. It's nothing but an awful reminder of the truth. They'll all die. I wish death upon them it's way kinder than the life as a Victor. I take a bite of the eggs. I wish we could all die. 

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As I finish getting ready I turn ou the television. Theodore the man that awakened me from my slumber stood on the scene beside an unlucky young men. Well he doesn't seem that young that's good I hate the young ones. I reajust my tie as he pick the unlucky girl. "And this year's female tribute is-" I take a bite of the bread. "Alyss Hatchet!" I look up at the screen. I know this name. In four years of mentoring it was the first time that I was unlucky enough to know a tribute. I try to match my memories to this name in vain. But then I saw her, walking out of the crowd in some strange dress. I expected her to cry or at least try to run away like many does but no she walked toward the stage a smile on her familiar face. 

That's when I remembered. I drop the piece of bread that was still in my hand as I watch her climbing onto the stage with a smile. I suddenly felt swallowed by my own memories all my effort to forget everything before the reaping now gone. 

I know this girl and she's walking towards death with a big smile.

Chapter Text

I look at this gigantic death train. I feel like my heart haven't gained it's beating back ever since my name was mention on that cursed scene. Not a single beating, I should be already dead. Maybe it only went in hidden in the deepest crevice of my chest fearing it's imminent end. The old man who chose my destiny with a smile on his face came beside me at this moment.

"Impressive isn't it?" I look to my right and saw that the man wasn't alone on his other side was the young man from district 12. That young man with who I was now sharing the same fate. "I'm Theodore, I'll accompany you during this year's games." I nodded slowly with a smile as an answer.

"We're not gonna survive will we." I look past Theodore where the young district 12 man who had just spoke stand. He was right, saving what I was thinking deep in my soul outloud. He was braver than I was, he dared even consider a possible survival. The second my name was mentioned on that stage I only considered my imminent death. What use is it to hope for the impossible.

Theodore stood there looking uncomfortable in front of the honest question. "No." I answered for him. Not even waiting for a response from the two man I made my way in the train. The district 12 wagon was all decorated in shiny black and brown furniture. A big wood table filled with strange food I never had the pleasure to see before was standing proudly behind a sitting area decorate of black leather couch. Behind the couch was a cart with divert glass and bottles. Alcohol. I made my way to the cart as I hear the man's voice entering the cart. I won't die without ever tasting the taste of a sweet liquor. I pour an amber liquid in one of the glass. "I think you'll get along with your mentor, that's good." I look up at theodore who just said that.

1Haymitch. Of course I knew him winner of the 50th hunger games and also the ghost of district 12. Ever since he won the game no one heard from the sarcastic boys that used to live by the market. Rumors say his wealth made him grow into a snob young men that's why he cut off everyone after the games.

But that's not the only way I know him. He was my... friend? Or maybe I was the only one to see it as such since he dissapeared without a word. Like everything that happened before the games was now unworthy of a victor like him. I roll my eyes before taking a seat on one of the couch. Get along in his dream there's nothing I hated more than snobby capitol puppet. I only wanted to make the most of my last days on earth before the massacre waiting for me. The young man sat beside me as Theodore took place across him. "Talking about him where is he, I purposely went to wake him up so he wouldn't be late." The old men mumbled but as he finish his sentence a door at the back of the wagon opened.

Me and the other tribute turned around to see who just entered. My heart who had stopped beating so far now echoed a single deep pound of shock as I saw him. His dark blonde hair now overgrown past tired eyes. But it was the same men I had said good luck to on this exact day 4 years ago. Good luck... The last word I uttered to this young boy before he dissapeared in the fog of the games.

He stood there with a stoic expression unwavered by us like all those other people grateful that it's us instead of them. But he was here once he sat here barely a few years ago maybe feeling the same tension inside of him as I felt right now and that's when I realized. It have nothing to do with luck, luck is useless once the capitol decide to throw you to the wolfs.

At this moment I felt like yelling at him. Run to him and shake him awake from this stoic expression make him look at least a little bit hurt or maybe angry, anything other than this utterly unbothered expression. But instead I just turned back around to grab the glass I filled earlier and down it in one sip.

I instantly start coughing as the bitter liquor burn my throat. "Omg that's disgusting." I exclaim between two cough. Theodore try to hide a laugh at my reaction, if he wasn't one of the capitol's minions he could have almost seemed like a sweet grandpa.

"Talk about an idea downing wiskey like apple juice." I looked up as I saw haymitch now standing beside us. "You're not one to talk." Said Theodore with a teasing smile toward Haymitch.I tried to pin point their relation but between Theodore's warm smile and Haymitch's stoic expression it was a hard guess.

"So now that everyone is here, let's begin!" Theodore really seemed way too enthusiastic at being a district 12 escort. After all wasn't most of his tributes dead in the arena? I didn't knew if he just really didn't had a care in the world or maybe he was just stupid. 

Haymitch took place accross me and I focused my gaze upon our excort as hard as I could. I didn't wanted to even glance in his direction one more time or I might ripe his nonchalant face to shred. "This year's game will be a bit different than the others. You know how the capitol like to shake things up for a great show."

I barely cared about this information it's not like I planned to survive anyway. Different or not the ending would be the same. "The games will be devided in two parts. We don't have details on the arena yet those are only revealed when you enter the arena, but we know there will be two arena a first where all the tribute will begin the fight and a second one." 

"A second one?" Asked James the second tribute. "Yes, this year's game will be time sensitive. All I know is that past a certain time the tribute that are still alive will be brought back to the capitol before being thrown in a different arena."

A double game. The capitol is really looking to shake things up this year. I never heard of tribute being brought back mid games it never happened before. Maybe if I survived the first half I would get to enjoy more of the capitol mid game. 

I didn't planned to win but I was determined to take as much as I could from the capitol before they killed me.

Chapter Text

I came to the train early in hope to avoid Theodore and the tributes. I knew our meeting was unavoidable but I hoped to delay it as long as possible. I stood in my bathroom looking at the mirror once again my overgrown hair almost reaching my suit jacket. I looked like a mess. I run my finger through my hair one more time a gesture I was unable to avoid under stress.

As I left the bathroom rumbling sound came from the main wagon. I made my way out of my room to look throught the small door window. There stood my curse infront of the drinks cart picking her poison on this fateful day. I looked at her back her long brown hair cascading down her back as the front pieces were pinned at the back of her head. I felt anger raise inside of me again at this sight. Why her. From the hundreds of girls in the district it had to be her one of the only person left from my past. One of the only person that could bring back all those cursed memories of mine.

As the door opposite of mine opened I hid away from the window. Theodore's voice resonated through the wagon. I went back to my room to grab my watch I left on the bathroom counter. As I heard their voices coming through the door I took a last breath before opening the door to the main wagon.

There she was seating on one of those big black sofa. The exact one I sat on 5 years ago. Her head turned towards me and it hit me. Those eyes that used to be too big for her tiny face now fit her soft trait perfectly. I didn't realized until now how much she had grown. She wasn't a child anymore she was eighteen. It was her last year, One more year and she would have made it.

She then abruptly turned her face around as she grabbed the whisky glass she filled earlier to down it in one go. Of course it resulted in deep coughing I doubt she ever drank before. I sure didn't before I was a tribute. I walked up to the small living room. "Talk about an idea downing whiskey like apple juice." She then looked back at me as Theodore sent me a nagging comment.

I walked to the only free seat in front of her but her eyes never met mines. She kept them on Theodore as he started to explain more about this year's game. I tried to quiet the voice in my head that felt hurt by her lack of acknowledgement. It's better that way, I always rather keep a distance with the tributes they were gonna die soon anyway.

When Theodore was done with his explanation she stood back up without giving me a glance and made her way back to the liquor cart to refil her glass. "Can I also drink?" Asked the young male tribute. I turned my gaze from Alyss to him. His question was obviously aimed at Theodore but she answered instead. "Of course it's not like you'll have any other chance to do it!" She exclaimed a bit too cheerfully for the situation making the young men stiffen. She grabbed a second glass before pouring whiskey in it.

"Here, drink it slowly it's strong." She handed the glass to the young boy that he accepted with wary eyes. She then closed the bottle and came to sit back on the couch non chalantly like she didn't just told a kid that he was going straight to his death. Her eyes finally met mine as she took another sip of the liquor. Her look a mix of fake politness and determination. How could she look so alive yet so ready to die.

I had to try harder than usual to keep my expression in check. The moment I saw her walk onto that stage I knew I would be doomed. As Theodore started speaking again I let my eyes wander along her strange dress almost fully covered in diverse things. As I was about to look away I spot one of the undecorated part of the dress. It was the same, the same cream fabrice, the same grey stitches that she wore that day. Five years ago when my name was called in the district leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. At that time this dress looked way too big on her but as she told me then she grew into it.

She wore this dress on my fatal day and now on her own fatal day 4 years later. "Good luck" I mumbled under my breath remembering her last words directed to me. Her head snapped back towards me her face finally showing sincere emotions.

Surprise? Anger? Or maybe pain.

Chapter Text

The sun was no where to find on this reaping day. The cloudy sky reflecting the overall emotions of the district 12 citizens. Like every morning Alyss woke up early to go collect the chicken's eggs. Especially on this day the market closed around two as the families of the district went home to bath and prepare their childs.

Haymitch him also woke up unexpectedly early. hoping to sleep the day away and avoid the anxiety of reaping day he angrily get out of bed. It was no used to try to go back to sleep under the anxious spell of reaping day. So he decided to get a coffee and sit on the porch. As he lived by the main square of the district he saw the capitol's minions getting the place ready for the reaping. Anger grew inside of him at this sight like every year.

He took another sip of coffee as he looked away from the stage to look at the busy market like every reaping morning. The citizen came to trade early before the family closed store to get ready for this afternoon. As he looked through all the merchants, he noticed big eyes looking up at one of the merchant. A small girl he could recognize easily.

He stood up from his Porsche before making it's way towards her. "I can give you a bag of rice for those eggs." Said an old merchant to Alyss. She looked down at her basket of eggs disappointed by this outcome she had hoped to get more to help her family. Her dad already worked countless hours to feed her and her mom. A bag of rice would last two meals at most.

"Actually this is worth two bag of rice." Alyss turned around at the sound of this familiar voice. "Haymitch!" She exclaim at the sight of the young men.

"Argh seriously dude?" Said the merchant infront of Haymitch's unwavering gaze. He sight before dropping a second bag of rice jn from of Alyss. "Here." Alyss gave him her eggs as haymitch grabbed the two bags of rice.

They then left the market side by side as Haymitch carried the rice bags. "Don't let them rip you off like that." Haymitch grumbled at Alyss. The young girl only giggled as an answer. The two kids were quite apart in age but ever since he defended her in front of bullies a year ago Alyss has been sticking to him. At first Haymitch hated it but she is sure that he ended up growing fond of her. He even sometimes talked to her first. He was known to be grumpy but the young men had a good heart. 

"Are you gonna wear the grey button up?" She asked as if they were dressing up for a party and not a possible death sentence. "It's not like I had any other one." He grumbled before a comfortable silence fell between the two kids. They almost reached Alyss's lone house when he finally break the silence. "Are you still wearing the flowery dress?" Haymitch said calmly.

She laugh as she looked up at him. "I could barely put it on last year. My dad bought me a new one. You'll see later!" She said happily before grabbing the bags of rice and making her way inside her garden. As she was about to enter her house she turned around to wave at Haymitch who only answered witb a nod. Then she dissapeared into the small house.

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Haymitch finished buttoning up his shirt as the reaping bell broke the silence. He stepped out of his room where he found his family finishing to get ready first. "Go first. We'll be there in a second." Said his mother. As he exit his house he saw rows and rows of kid in their best clothes walking towards the square. He took a moment on the porches to look at the gruesome spectacle. Some kids as young as 12 walking with tears in their eyes. As he look over the see of people's he saw her standing in the middle of the crowd her breath uneven as kids passed her from both side.

Her chest was rising unevenly as tears filled her eyes. Alyss was paralyzed there in the middle of the crowd she felt her heart pounding in her chest. It was her second reaping she thought it would be easier this year since she went through it once but she found herself there paralyzed by fear. A high pitched noise filled her ears as the crowd started to spin around her.

Haymitch as he saw her losing balance in the middle of the crowd ran toward her. Trying to push against the crowds direction. Alyss looked down at her shoes trying to make the world stopping from spinning around her when a hand grabbed her shoulder. Her head shot up as she gained back her earring. "Alyss! Look at me." She looked at haymitch as he dropped down on one knee to be at the same height as her.

"It's alright ok?" A tear fell down her cheek but Haymitch wiped it quickly. "No. They don't deserve your tears. Dont cry ok?" Alyss took a deep breath holding back the other tears in her eyes. "Look at you you're swimming in that dress." He said with a small smirk. Alyss sniffled as she start to retake countenance. She looked down at the cream dress that was now too big for her. "I'll grow into it." She said softly with a small smile. 

"I can't wait to see that." Said Haymitch in a playful tone. "You have to go sign in." Then said Haymitch as he stood back up. She nods as an answer. He moved aside to let her pass but as she start to walk past him she stopped in her way to look back at him.

"Haymitch," he looked at her waiting for the end of of her sentence. "Good luck."

Chapter Text

That night I layed in bed looking at the selling. Even tho it was the most comfortable bed I ever layed on I couldn't managed to sleep. Now that my heart started to beat again it felt like it wouldn't stop anytime soon. I tried to keep a it hidden but I was terrified, terrified to die. I thought of all those things I haven't done yet. Drinking alcohol was one of them, I guess we now can take it off the list. But there is so much more.

Growing flowers, learning piano, tasting chocolate, falling in love...

I layed there enumerating all the things I thought I would do before I die. But the last page of my history was being written as I layed in this comfortable bed. I was cut out of my thoughts by the grumbling of my stomach. I was so preoccupied by the reaping I haven't ate a single thing all day. 

I look at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 12:30 theorically it was already tomorrow. Let's just say it's an early breakfast I thought as I pulled the comforter off me. We're in a capitol train there must be food somewhere in the main wagon. I carefully open the door to leave my room and make my way to the main room.

The wagon is dark only illuminated by a few faint lights. As I cross the living space I look out by one of the window. The whole world is filled with the darkness of night. I take a step towards the window to look more closely. Behind the window field of darkness where spreading further than I could see. But what surprised me was the dark sky filled with stars. I sight so far from the incessant spot light lighting the district's streets at every hours of the day. 

"Couldn't sleep?" At the unexpected voice coming from behind me I almost trip over my feet as I turn around. A shadow is laying on one of the two sofas but even without seeing him properly I could tell from the tone of his voice that it was Haymitch laying there. "Hungry." I simply corrected him. I haven't decided yet how I felt about seeing him again. Part of me was angry and hurt but another part of me was glad that I had the confirmation that he was alright.

"It's pretty" he said as he sat down on the couch his blue eyes sparkling through the darkness. "Mh?" I asked confused before looking away unable to hold his gaze. "The stars. You can't see them from the districts." He said simply before standing up from the couch and making his way to the dining area. I watched his movements now that he was turned away from me. He had trade the weirdly professional suit for a simple shirt and sweat pants. 

He ruffled through a cupboard before turning back towards me. Instinctively I turned back towards the window focusing my gaze as far away from him as possible. I stood there looking at the stars a few seconds before I felt his presence behind me. I heard him put something on the little table beside me driving my gaze Instinctively towards the sound. A little container with crackers was now sitting beside me. I heard his steps moving away from me filling me with a strange mix of relief and fear.

"Haymitch." I said turning towards him. Once again he wasn't facing me his hand on the door knob but still he waited there not opening the door. I took a few seconds to organize my thoughts, it was his chance to give me an explaination for the past five years. Tell me he had a good reason to ignore my existence to never see me again. Maybe there was a plausible reason that could forgive his dissapearance.

"Why did you do it." I said trying to keep my voice from shaking under the emotion. "Why did you dissapeared." He stood there his back turned to me for a second I even thought he wouldn't answer my question. But after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence he answered. "I told you. We aren't friends." He said in a harsh voice.

Before I could even process his answer he left the main wagon. I was left there alone in the dark. So it was it, I was stupid enough to hold onto the hope that maybe there was a reason for his action. I looked at the crackers on the small table. He never cared, what was everything for me was nothing to him. I grab the cracker bowl and in anger I crash it against the floor sending hundreds of tiny glass pieces dance around the crackers. No matter how hungry I was I would rather starve than eat anything that jerk gave me.

Chapter Text

As I close the door behind me I finally could take a breath. I knew this moment would come. The moment where we'd be alone and the moment she'd ask. Maybe she'd give up now that I answered her question so harshly. The last thing I need is to have any sort of ties with a tribute. 

I entered my room and fell into my bed annoyed. Annoyed at myself and at the capitol. I hated all of this but this situation made it even worst. 

I layed there looking at the ceiling hoping to find the strength I lacked onto that dark metal. I have one rule and it's to keep my distance from the tributes. They were nothing but live stocks going to their death. But how can I do so when I already broke the distance with one of those tribute 5 years ago.

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I wake up with the blinding light oming out of my window. Argh I forgot  how annoying this train is. I don't get why there isn't any blinds in the rooms. I sat in bed trying to rub my eyes awake. I hate this, mentoring. What the fuck am I supposed to tell to two teenager going towards their certain death. 

I make my way to the main cart where I found James sitting at the kitchen table with the usual train breakfast. "Careful there's glass." He said his mouth full of a piece of toast. I looked down at the ground were pieces of crackers and glass orned the ground. Well that's a character, I thought to myself as I saw the scene of the crime. A crime I obviously committed. I let out a sight before walking around the broken bowl pieces to take place at the table. 

Not long after Theodore and Alyss also join us at the table. She doesn't even look in my direction and make sure to sit as far as me as possible. Which in this tiny wagon mean in the chair diagonally opposed to mine. "So do you start to mentor us today?" Asked James as if I was some kind of genius that would magically make them survive. "Mhm" I answered between two sip of coffee. His eyes sparkled with enthusiasts, I hate this the pressure all those tribute put on me to coach them well enough for them to survive. "Are you gonna show us how to make a fire?" He asked curiously and I couldn't contain a snicker. This kid won't last a day in there. "If you want to die sure." I answered sarcastically. He looked at me confused like I was the one that had said something stupid. "What are you gonna teach us then?"

Before I could answer him Alyss dropped her cup on the table harder than necessary. "Why do you even care what he have to say." She exclaimed sending an annoy gaze at the poor teenager. He sat there confused at her reaction. "Well..." he stuttered trying to explain himself. "He's our mentor and-" before he could finish his sentence she cut him. "And none of his tribute survived since he started mentoring. I thought you were stupid enough to want to survive." Everyone sat in silence at her comment. I felt my blood start to boil at her comment. As if it was my fault all those kids died. 

"Don't listen to what that jerk have to say unless you're determined to finish like those other tributes." She finished angrily. I stood up equally angryly pushing the chair behind me making a loud screeching noise against the floor. But before I could talk she did the same. "I'm done eating. I'll go to my room." She said this time her eyes fixed on me with an angry expression. I watched her leave still standing my hands into tight fist. 

The young boy softly stood up with a scared expression. "I'll go check on her." He said quickly before following her out of the wagon. When they both had left the place I dropped back onto my chair with an annoyed sight. I let my head fall onto the back of the chair. "You got yourself a piece of work this year." I turn my head slightly to look at the old man that was enjoying his pastry as if he didn't noticed all hell breaking loose beside him. "She remind me of someone." He said in a teasing manner. I give him a dark gaze. "Are you emplying me?" He looked at me with a smile. "She is nothing like me have you saw her outburst!?" I said annoyed. "Have you seen your attitude?" He responded with a smile.

I grabbed my mug to empty the rest of my coffee before standing up. "I'm going to my room." I said before leaving the table. As I was closing the door I heard his last sentence. "Exactly the same attitude."

This year's game will kill me before it kill the tributes.

Chapter Text

Avoiding Haymitch turned out to be harder than expected  in this small wagon but I managed. Eating at odd times and staying in my room sure helped. I looked out the window where I could see the capitol approaching. Finally I will be able to start my plan. I thought about it hard and came to the decision that I would make the most of my stay in the capitol before throwing myself to the wolf. Litteraly, I didn't planned to fight it after considerations I realized that the quicker would be the better. I left my bed to put on the outfit Theodore brought me last night, a dark blue dress falling just above my knees. As the skirt of the dress went on you could see the dark blue fabric fading behind thousands of tiny stars. It was quite simple yet suiting my taste.

I put on the matching low heels before leaving my room. At the same moment James door opened too. I saw the boy get out of his room in a simple black pants and classy dark green button up. "He might be old but he have good taste." I said making the young boy turn towards me. His eyes grew big at the sight of my outfit too. He took a second before answering. "Definitely.  This dress look like it was made for you."

I laugh at his exclamation before passing my arm around his shoulders and directing us towards the main room of the wagon. We entered the room where Theodore and Haymitch sat on one of the sofas. I smiled at Theodore before taking my hand off James and turning to show him the outfit. "Not bad right." I said as I stopped turning facing the old man. As I looked at Theodore I could feel Haymitch's gaze burn through my dress but I decided to ignore it. Maybe I couldn't always avoid him but I could most definitely always ignore him.

"Ravishing, you too young men." I smiled at James before going to sit on the sofa in front of Theodore. James came to sit beside me facing Haymitch. "Any last minute advice?" I asked him as I saw the capitol through the window. "Be likeable." I heard an annoyingly stoic voice say from my right. My gaze sifted towards Haymitch. "I wasn't asking you."

He scoffed and I barely kept myself to jump over the coffee table to strangle the breath out of him. "Will you stop acting like a child." He said as he looked out the window. "Sure whenever you stop acting like a jerk." I answered him with a sarcastic smile. His gaze shifted back to me with a dark gaze. I couldn't care less what someone like him thought of me but I wouldn't let him ruin my public image here at the capitol.

Before he answered anything Theodore cut our argument with the news that we just arrived. James stood up to look out the window. I followed him to find tons of extravagant peoples cheering the train's arrival. We are in the capitol. I never thought I would one day see so many color shades of red and blue brighter than the ones back home, glitters and strass covered outfits. 

Everything and more than I could imagine. James and I stood there impressed by it all until a voice interrupted us. "Time to get ready for the parade kids." I turned towards Theodore that was now standing in front of the door with Haymitch.

__

From exfoliation to epilation passing by hair care and nail care, the capitols did it all. After two hours of intense beauty care I was now sent to the Stylist. The one in charge of my outfit for the parade. I sat there in a white room waiting for him or her to come in. When the door finally opened I saw her a tall women with black glittery hair. She wore flashy pants under a dress covered in strange patterns. "Alyss right?" She asked with a soft smile. I nod at her question. "Great let's get started!" She said enthusiastically.

She then proceeded to explain to me the outfit concept. Like every year district 12 was dressed accordingly to our famous mines. My dress was a long spiral of navy and black reminding the darkest mines of our district. The spiral met in the middle of my stomach and the skirt reached my knees. It was pretty but as usual I felt the need to had my own touch to it. As the stylist finished showing me the dress I reached in my pocket where the moon charm I ripped off my dress earlier sat. "Before I put it on could I have some thread and a needle?" She pulled some out of her dress pocket. A navy thread that match perfectly the dress. "Did a stitch came loose?" She asked worried. 

"No I just need to do a little adjustment." I said as I grabbed the thread and needle from hands. "I don't think-" she started as I layed the dress on the ground and kneeled beside it. I pulled the small silver moon and placed it in the center of the dress where the spiral met. "Dear god it's cashmere" she said in an anxious high pitched voice as she saw the dress laying on the floor.

I started to stitch the small charm onto the dress ignoring her protest. It took barely a few minutes and I was done. As I cut the thread with my teeth I then grabbed the dress from the floor. "Now its perfect." I said turning the dress towards her. She looked at it perplexly at first but her expression grew softer. After a few seconds her gaze shifted towards me. "It's beautiful." I smiled proudly as she looked down at her watch. "Oh we're behind schedule! Get changed quickly!" She said before running out of the room.

I gave a last gaze to my dress. My personal games started now.

Chapter Text

I waited by the chariots for my tributes to arrive. Today was the worst day of all for me, the parade. showing around teenager about to be sent to their deaths a strange definition of fun, in my opinion. As I gave a last look at the pitch black chariot I saw James, dressed in an extravagant suit picturing twirling navy and black fabrics.

Not the worst one I saw, I thought to myself. I remember those poor tributes 2 years ago the one that were in a litteral miner suit. At least this year's stylist tried something. James joined me beside the chariot while fidgeting nervously with his finger.

"Where's Alyss?" He asked I was almost tempted to pretend to be offended that my presence here wasn't enough for him but kept it professional. "I don't know I thought-" I interrupted my sentence as my gaze was drawn by the door a few meters behind him. Brown waves falling onto her shoulders and a dress almost as dark as night my gaze was instinctively drawn by Alyss as she entered the room. She was almost unrecognizable her traits were accentuated with makeup and I could see that sparkle in her eyes that I used to see before. But my eyes were then attracted by another sparkly thing sitting right in the middle of her stomach. The charm she wore on her reaping day.

She didn't noticed us yet so I allowed myself a few seconds to take in the women she became. Those big eyes were the only trace left of that little girl I help 6 years ago. She grew up well, too well even. I felt a pinch in my heart at the thought that she also grew to hate me. But I was caught off my thoughts as James called for her. I pretended to double check the horses as her gaze turned towards us. "What's that?" James asked her making my attention stay on them. "Just my special touch." She said and as I gave a furtive gaze in her direction I saw a soft smile appear on her face. Of course this smile wasn't directed at me but it still felt good to see it.

"Ok kids." I said before turning towards them. Alyss expression became cold again. "I'm 18." I raised an eyebrow at her statement to avoid blatantly laughing. "Are you a tribute?" I asked her with fake curiousity and her answer took a few seconds to come. At first she preferred sending me a death glare than use her words, but after rolling her eyes indeed like a stubborn kid she answer. "What a stupid question that you already know the answer to." I looked away for a second debating between laughing and jumping at her throat to make her stop being such a difficult tribute to deal with. After all if she couldn't talk she would be way easier to manage.

"Exactly so you're still a kid." I ended up closing the topic with this answer and she just sighed in annoyance. To think she used to be the one to get those reactions out of me I'm starting to think I spent too much time with her as a kid and she indeed picked some of that attitude from me. But I would never admit to Theodore he was right this information will be safe guarded in my brain only.

"Let's get you both on the chariot." I said gesturing towards this one. James climbed first onto the chariot and I gave my hand to Alyss since she was wearing a dress, but the snarky brunette was as stubborn as ever and preferred to grab onto the chariot to escalade it. I don't know if she make it harder on me or on herself at this point probably both. She climbed onto the chariot but at the last second one of her heel get caught onto it and made her lose balance. Without thinking I reach an arm behind her back to steady her and her hand she used to grab onto the chariot was now on my shoulder.

Once she was steadied onto the chariot in that position she turned her gaze towards me her big brown eyes holding a mix of anxiety and sadness. I couldn't help myself from diving into her gaze as I for the second time saw a piece of the girl she hid under that mask. "Sorry." She said embarrassed before pulling her hand from my shoulder and moving away from my arm. I took a step back to let the chariot start to make their ways but as soon as I did I felt regret. The coldness of the distance and the feeling that I was partly responsible for that chariot sending her down the same hell I had to go through.

Chapter Text

Training, training, training. If I hear that word one more time I might punch someone. I couldn't care less about getting ready for the games what use is it when I was already jinxed by my district number. I thought the capitol would be more fun a break from the constant worry of 12 a break from the money struggles and the poor choice of clothes. A must visit destination before my impending death but it turned out to be as much of an hassle just in a different shape.

Maybe the district wasn't the problem maybe this whole world was. I always knew those games were fucked but to see that the whole world even the capitol revolve around them was making me dizzy.

James was a nice guy but to see him constantly worrying about the games and taking every opportunities to ask Haymitch advice was nothing but an unpleasant reminder of what was waiting for us. Pain, murder and unavoidably death. I took another mouthful of the strangely delicious green soup in front of me.

"I know we don't get to know about the arena in advance." Started James in between two bites of bread. "But how was your arena?" He then finished his sentence. Haymitch froze at his question but I kept my attention on them, for once James asked a question I was also interested in the answer. For a few seconds I thought Haymitch might not even answer seeing how slowly he chewed his steak before swallowing it.

"It was a field... with a mountain." He simply said before downing his glass of whiskey. It's almost as if I could see the details of his game fly behind his eyes. All the pain, the people he unavoidably killed and the death he escaped barely. "That's it?" Said James carelessly making my gaze turn towards him. "Sound pretty easy." I closed my eyes and bit my tongue to keep myself from throwing this delicious soup at him.
"Easy?" Said Haymitch making my eyes shot open. No matter how long it has been since our last encounter I could recognize that tone. He dropped his cutlery before standing up making his chair behind him echo in an horrible screetching noise. "Did you never watched the games? Do you not know what happen in those arenas? In my arena!" James was pushing himself against the back of his chair as if to put as much distance between him and Haymitch as possible. "N-no my mom didn'tlet me watch the games before I turned 12..." He answered in a small shaky voice.

Haymitch fist then came in collision against the wood table harsly. "Then how do  you allow yourself to be so stupid about something you don't even know!" I stood there now probably sharing the same expression of fear as James. "I-" Haymitch was about to continue his yelling rant when his eyes met mine. For some reason he just stopped in his track. I could see behind his rage in the back of his eyes, fear. Like he was still afraid of his game even after being long out of them and my afraid gaze softened.

"Fuck." He said before leaving the table without another word. I watched him walk away like in a trance that broke only when he left the room. Once he was gone my gaze turned towards james. He looked at me confused and still a bit scared. "What just happened." He asked as if I was the answer to all his questions. I sight in answer before smacking the side of his head as a warning. I heard Theodore giggle slightly from the other side of the table.

"I'll go check on him." I said before even thinking. Yes I hated him for what he did yes I had settled on ignoring him but for some reason in that moment none of it mattered I only wanted to make sure he was ok. A part of me hated myself for still caring but I could regret it later because at this moment I was already out of the room following Haymitch's steps. I stood in the hallway for a few seconds wondering where he went. I didn't had a plan or didn't knew where he went I just went after him impulsively. As I was about to gave up I felt a breeze of cold air against my skin.
I looked at my right where I could see at the end of the hallway the door giving access to the roof still open as if someone had carelessly left that way. Haymitch, I thought before following in that direction and taking the stairs to the rooftop. The night fresh breeze had already took over the summer sun and I found myself on the dark roof cutting through the wind. He stood there on the side of the roof right before the edge where wired fence kept anyone from committing unspeakable acts. As I was finally here a few meters away from him I now realized how impulsively I acted.

I didn't knew what to say or even why I was here. I felt stupid why did I still cared so much about him when he made it clear he didn't felt the same about me.
When I was about to give up and leave the rooftop as if I was never there my foot hit a small stone sending it tumbling across the roof in a soft yet unavoidable noise. Haymitch turned towards me as the stood came to a stop beside his own foot. "Alyss?" He asked confused as why I was here. Don't worry I am as confused as you are, was what I wanted to say but I thought it was too late for that. "Are you... ok?" I asked shyly this was a stupid idea of course he didn't wanted me here what did I expected. "Oh." He answered as if taken aback by my question. I felt so stupid what did I expected. "Sorry, I shouldn'thave come." I said before turning back towards the door ready to leave ashamed of myself.

"Wait!" He said as I took a step away from him. "Can you stay..." he asked while avoiding my gaze. "Just for a bit." He then finished his sentence. I stood there unsure at first but then decided to make my way to his side. He looked through the fence at the sky and I stood there dping the same as we settled in a peaceful silence. He never has been one to talk much so I decided to break the silence first. "I'm sorry..." I said in a barely audible voice. It felt as if this was the only words I could tell him these days. "About your game." I then clarified.

He stayed silent for a few seconds. "It was pretty easy." He then answered quoting James's earlier words. I sight, he was bitter he always have been but the years made him grow even more bitter and silent. "Nothing under the capitol's control is ever easy." I said turning my head towards him. He still looked in front of him a strand of his dirty blonde hair falling onto his cheek. As if it was muscle memory My hand reached up to move it away but before I could his hand grabbed my wrist. "Don't." He said now looking at me. I saw regret and fear in his eyes as if the sight of me beside him here in the capitol was too painful to be hidden.

For a second it was as if the time froze between us and I let myself drown in those blue eyes that once felt like protection and trust. No words were spoken during those seconds that felt like an eternity but I knew, I knew he cared way more than he let me believe and that there must have another reason as why he acted the way he did. But before I could even collect my thoughts he spoke again. "Don't make this harder than it has to be." But his voice wasn't stern this time, his request came as plea.

Chapter Text

This morning the sky was cloudy calling for some rain later in the day. But it didn't stopped young alyss from her daily routine of collecting the chicken's eggs. As she collected them she even hid a small one in her pocket without her parents knowledge Before coming back inside to show them the 7 other eggs she collected. She did as usual and sat at the table for breakfast that consisted of potato soup and a glass of water. She ate while carefully hiding and protecting the small egg she hid earlier. Alyss didn't had the luxury of a rich family, both her parents were working hard to put food on the table and she always knew that to get her share of the meal she had to do the same. 

As she finished breakfast she left the table to grab her school clothes and get changed before leaving the house. As she arrived at school she started looking around for one person in particular. She never was the type to have many friends happy alone the young girl preferred day filled with taking walks and tending to her chickens than gossips. But there was that one person, not even a friend since he refused to admit to it but Alyss didn't cared of his constant rejection. As she looked around the school yard she saw many kids but not a sign of the one she was looking for. Quickly the sky started to pour onto the district and she took shelter under a small roof still waiting for the young boy. 

After a few more minutes of waiting she saw him running towards the school in the rain only using a hand over his head to protect himself from the pouring sky. As he almost reached the school yard entrance the impulsive young girl ran out of her shelter to meet him at the entrance. 

As he reached the yard Haymitch's eyes finally saw her that clingy little girl infront of him arboring a big smill as the rain poured onto her small body. She looked as if she barely noticed the rain soaking through her clothes. "What are you doing! Are you trying to get sick!" Exclaimed Haymitch annoyed before grabbing her arm and pulling her with him under the same roof she used earlier. "You're here!" She said as Haymitch gave her a dissaproving smile. "Why are you late today?" She asked curiously still wearing an unfaltering smile. 

Haymitch sight knowing his words didn't reached her at all. "My mom needed help at home this morning. Why arent you in with the other students?" He asked her with that same strict look he gave her earlier. The little girl smiled brighter once again ignoring his stern face. "I was waiting for you." She answered enthusiastically but Haymitch didn't graced her with an answer and sat against the wall quietly. Alyss let her gaze follow him before she took a few steps towards the now sitting boy. She crouched in front of him with a playful eyes. "I have a gift for you." She said elusively but as expected Haymitch didn't answered her and only raised an eyebrow.

She giggled to herself before pulling the egg now wrapped in cloths out of her pocket. Haymitch looked attentively at her hand as she unfolded the protective cloths around the egg. Once the egg was out of it's protective wrapping Haymitch's eyes shifted back to the young girl's face. "Alyss." He said dissaprovingly. Haymitch knew her families situation. Of course no one in district 12 was really well off but between him living beside the market and Alyss's home that was on the outskirt of the district their means were obviously different. "It's just a itty bitty one one of the chicken had two today." She said with sparkling eyes.

Before he could refuse Alyss grabbed his hand and dropped the egg in it. "It's a gift, it's impolite to refuse a gift." She then said with a clever look. Haymitch sight knowing how tenacious the young girl could be and that it was already a lost battle for him. "It's only a small egg plus you need to look healthy for when you'll meet my parents." Haymitch's eyebrows frowned at her sentence. "Meet your parents?" He asked now suspicious of the girl's intention.

"Mhm I'm sure they'll love you don't worry, after all you are a market kid they'll definitely approve of you." She said half as if she was talking to herself. Haymitch looked even more confused after this statement. "They'll be happy to have a market kid in the family." She clarified as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Haymitch closed his eyes to hold back a laugh as he finally understood what she implied. "Alyss, you know I'm too old for you right?" He then said more as a statement than a question.

Alyss just starred at him for a second before starting to count on her finger. "Three years is nothing." She brushed it off as if it was already determined. "Three years at our age IS a lot. You're a kid." The girl's smile fell as her eyebrows frowned. Haymitch had to hold back another laugh. "You are a kid too." She stated as a defense. 

"You'll be 15 when I turn 18 does it sound right to you?" He then asked unable to hide a small mocking smile. Alyss sight at this unfortunately good argument. But her annoyed expression was quickly erased by a thoughtful one. As if she was racking her brain for a solution. A few seconds later her eyes lighted up with an idea making Haymitch worry. What kind of stupid argument did she came up with this time he thought to himself.

"I'll wait." She said full of hope before reaching her hand towards his forehead to move a strand of wet hair that was sticking to it. "I'll wait t'ill I turn 18 and then we can get married."