Chapter Text
He had wanted to win, to give his country something to celebrate, he even followed the team orders and kept himself from racing hard against Lando when he had the chance. Even then, it was not enough.
He saw his dreams of winning the race, of getting a podium, slip away from his fingers as soon as the car slipped away from the track. He wanted to scream, to fight, to punch something or someone, especially someone from McLaren.
The young Australian walked to his apartment after the terrible race he had. It didn’t matter how many things his mother and sisters said to make him feel better, it didn’t matter what Mark said to try and take the pain away. The disappointment in himself was too strong, and he needed to be away for a moment before focusing on the next race.
He opened his door only to hear someone inside his place. His eyes went side to side while walking inside to remind himself of who was there, probably making some pancakes or some unhealthy food to take their pain away.
Because he knew his boyfriend didn’t have a good weekend, and was as disappointed as him. Maybe that was why Oscar had driven so uncarefully on the last laps when he saw the red cars.
-Are those my Grill'd collab burgers?
-Hello to you too, Cariño. I brought us dinner.
Oscar walked directly to the man who was near the kitchen and hugged him as soon as he was close enough. His head was immediately on the other’s neck and he hid himself as much as possible to keep his feelings away. Even if it was ridiculous because the older one
-You know you can be sad, Muñeco. Keeping all those feelings inside is not good.
-Wasn’t your father the one who said he respected drivers more from the reaction to their failures?
God. Oscar didn’t want to talk about his father-in-law, but the thought just came out of him in that second. He had a good relationship with Carlos’ father, but he knew his lover valued his father’s input as much as his own. And probably, a small part of him, felt uncomfortable dealing with this. Maybe it felt like he was dealing with a child’s tantrum.
Like he could read Oscar’s mind, Carlos pulled the McLaren driver's hair to take him away from his hiding spot so they could see each other. His brown eyes were full of love and understanding, making the younger boy feel naked and vulnerable. Which, wasn’t uncommon between them.
-Yes, Papá said that but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t value feelings. This was an important event from you, amor. Of course, you can be sad, even mad. I am, and it’s not my home race.
-It is… kind of.
The McLaren driver wanted to crawl into the ground, hide in the center of the planet, and never come out again after saying that, but the Williams driver looked shocked and moved due to his words, so he tried to be as brave as possible.
-If you want, of course.
-Oh, Tesoro. I love that, there’s no need to panic. Next year I’ll wear the Australian colors myself and we can match, I promise.
Both boys walked still hugged back to the sofa Oscar had in the apartment. Carlos managed to move them so he could sit on the couch with the younger boy on his lap. His hand moved up and down on Oscar’s back, trying to make him feel better.
The Australian closed his eyes and tried to relax and let his feelings go away, but the silent comfort his lover was giving him stopped him from trying to ignore all the feelings he had bottled up.
-You know. The important thing here is that you learn from this, things the team needs to improve and things you need to manage. And you can suffer today, especially because it’s your home race. But this is not the last time you will race here. And maybe it was not something that had to happen today, but it will, you just need to have more confidence in yourself and fight for what you know you can achieve.
-They want me as the second driver, Carlos. They are never going to let me win before Lando.
The Spaniard kissed him to shut him up, to take his thoughts away from all the confusion and the negative thoughts. Both knew Mark would never allow that to happen, the older Australian loving Oscar as his own son. But right now, the feelings were too high.
-Then fight for it, just like Mark has taught you. Fight with all you have and prove to them what we know. That you can be a world champion.
-Will you be there to support me?
-Until you no longer want me, Principe. Now, let's go to eat something and sleep before our teams take us away.
Oscar stood up and took his lover's hand so they could go for their food and cuddle while watching a movie. Or maybe just cuddle, no movie needed, just them enjoying their time together.
Yeah, if you asked Oscar when he started his Formula One journey that he would end up as his first crush's lover, he would have never believed in it. But here he was, with the man he had loved the most as his partner, hopefully, for many years to come.
Maybe he hadn't achieved what he wanted during this race, but the season was starting, a lot of things could change, and he was ready to face them all, as long as Carlos was beside him.