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Barnaby sat on the edge of his bed, fingers tangled in his blond hair, tugging as if the pain might ground him. His breaths came in shallow, uneven puffs—each one an effort, each one burning.
This was ridiculous. Why was he freaking out? He couldn’t even remember the dream.
It shouldn’t affect him this much. He wasn’t a child. He was a grown man.
A door shut somewhere in the apartment, the sound distant and muffled, but Barnaby was too far gone to register it.
Every inhale burned. His eyes stung, tears threatening to spill. His stomach twisted, his head pounded, his throat tightened- every breath felt like a battle. But he didn’t care. Right now, he just wanted everything to stop.
“…Nny… bun…”
The faint voice barely registered over the thunderous pounding in his ears.
The door creaked open, spilling a sliver of light into the otherwise dark room. Then, swift footsteps. A presence.
"Bunny!" The familiar voice was urgent, laced with concern. Hands gripped his shoulders, firm but not rough, forcing him to meet worried brown eyes. "Are you alright?!"
Kotetsu.
Barnaby blinked slowly, but his unfocused, emerald-green eyes were glazed with lingering panic. Kotetsu had seen this look before—months ago, after everything with Maverick. He never wanted to see it again.
"What happened?" Kotetsu demanded, pushing down his own worry. Right now, nothing else mattered except Barnaby.
The only answer he received was Barnaby’s labored breathing. Then, as the first tears finally slipped down his cheeks, the rest of him collapsed.
Kotetsu caught Barnaby before he hit the floor, lowering them both gently to the ground as his own heart thundered in his chest.
He knelt beside him, rubbing slow, soothing circles on his back.
"Shh… It’s okay, Bunny. I’m here." His voice was soft, steady.
Barnaby’s sobs had quieted into broken sniffles. As he lifted a shaky hand to his face, he noticed his glasses were missing—Kotetsu must have taken them off at some point.
Shame flooded him. How pathetic must he look right now? Crying like this in front of Kotetsu.
Before he could withdraw further, strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a warm, steady embrace. The kind of warmth he hadn’t felt in years.
Safety.
Barnaby melted into it, his tense body finally relaxing. He could only ever remember feeling something like this when his parents or Samantha had held him as a child.
The thought made more tears fall.
They stayed like that for a while, neither speaking, just existing in the quiet. Eventually, when Kotetsu felt Barnaby had calmed enough, he broke the silence.
"Do you want to talk about it, Bunny?" His voice remained gentle, giving Barnaby the choice.
Slowly, Barnaby nodded, reluctant but willing. He pulled away slightly, sniffling as he wiped at his eyes.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with this, Kotetsu," Barnaby murmured, his voice raw from crying.
"Don’t apologize. It’s okay," Kotetsu replied softly, placing a reassuring hand on Barnaby’s cheek.
Barnaby’s breath hitched. His fingers curled into his hair again, gripping tightly as fresh tears welled in his eyes.
"I-I just…" His voice cracked, the words barely making it past his throat.
"I’ve lost everything!" he choked out, his grip tightening. "My parents, Samantha, the man I thought of as a father… And then—" His voice faltered, breaking under the weight of his emotions. "A-and then I almost lost you!"
His chest heaved as sobs wracked his body again. "I thought you had died!"
Instinctively, Kotetsu caught his wrists, gently prying his fingers from his hair before he could hurt himself.
"But you didn’t lose me," Kotetsu said firmly, his grip steady. "I’m right here, Bunny."
Barnaby shook his head violently, his whole body trembling. "But I almost did!" he shouted, his voice raw with anguish. "I almost did…"
Tears streamed down his face, unchecked, as his breathing grew ragged once more. His hands curled into fists against Kotetsu’s chest.
"Kotetsu… you’re the only person I have left… and I almost killed you…" His voice was barely above a whisper now, fragile and broken. "You almost died…"
Kotetsu’s heart clenched at the sheer despair in his partner’s words. Without hesitation, he cupped Barnaby’s face in his hands, thumbs brushing away the tears trailing down his cheeks.
"But I didn’t," he said firmly, his voice steady despite the emotion welling in his chest. "And that’s what matters."
Barnaby swallowed thickly, his breath still uneven, but the panic had dulled slightly at Kotetsu’s touch.
Kotetsu hesitated for a moment before offering, "I can leave if you’d rather be alone…" A sad smile tugged at his lips, though he didn’t move away.
Barnaby shook his head almost immediately. His hand came up, fingers curling around Kotetsu’s wrist, grounding himself in the warmth of his presence.
"It’s okay," he murmured, eyes downcast. "You can stay… if you’d like."
Kotetsu nodded, pulling Barnaby up carefully. When Barnaby swayed, Kotetsu steadied him, guiding him towards the bed. He guided Barnaby down onto the mattress, making sure he was settled before sitting beside him, still close, still holding onto him.
"I’m right here," he promised. "Whenever you’re ready to talk."
A quiet, comfortable silence settled between them. The weight of the moment lingered, but it no longer felt crushing.
Kotetsu glanced at Barnaby from the corner of his eye, watching as his partner’s exhausted gaze flickered, his eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment.
The room felt calmer now, the sharp edge of Barnaby’s panic softening into something gentler. Kotetsu watched as Barnaby let out a shaky breath, his posture sagging slightly.
"Hey," Kotetsu murmured after a moment, shifting slightly so he was more comfortable. "You wanna lie down? You look like you’re about to fall over."
Barnaby hesitated, his pride warring with his exhaustion. But eventually, he gave a small nod.
Kotetsu helped ease him back against the pillows, making sure he was settled before leaning against the headboard beside him. He didn’t say anything, didn’t push further. Just let Barnaby know he wasn’t alone.
Barnaby stared at the ceiling for a moment before exhaling softly. "I hate this," he admitted.
Kotetsu glanced at him. "Hate what?"
"This… feeling," Barnaby muttered. "Like I’m drowning. Like I can’t breathe."
Kotetsu’s expression softened. "I know," he said quietly. "It’s not easy, Bunny. But you’re not alone. And you don’t have to go through this alone, either."
Barnaby didn’t respond right away, but Kotetsu saw the way his fingers twitched slightly, like he wanted to reach out but wasn’t sure how.
So Kotetsu made the decision for him.
Gently, he reached over, giving Barnaby’s hand a reassuring squeeze.
Barnaby stiffened for half a second before, slowly, hesitantly, he squeezed back.
"Thank you," he murmured.
Kotetsu smiled softly. "Anytime, Bunny."
As the minutes ticked by, Barnaby’s breathing evened out, his body finally allowing itself to rest. The tension in his shoulders loosened, and his grip on Kotetsu’s hand grew lighter as sleep took hold.
Kotetsu stayed awake a little longer, making sure Barnaby was okay before finally letting his own eyes slip shut.
Tonight, he wasn’t alone.
Tomorrow, they’d face it—together.