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Gihun couldn't sleep. He moved restlessly in his room, more precisely his room on this death game island.
It had been a few days since he set foot on the island, as the guards came a week early before the game started to make preparations. Making sure that the game could run smoothly.
But it wasn't the game that was about to start that made Gihun uneasy, there was one other thing that had been bothering his mind.
.
.
Gihun was walking back to his room in the square guards' dormitory after finishing his duties in the control room— making sure that there were no problems with the surveillance cameras.
He was about to open the door to his room, but noticed that the door to the guard room next to him was slightly ajar. That was unusual, as the guards took their privacy very seriously.
With a curious spirit, Gihun approached the room. Cigarette smoke seeped from the room, but was filtered out by the mask Gihun was still wearing.
It seemed that the room did not contain only one person, because Gihun heard a conversation between the guards.
Gihun almost went back to his room because he didn't think their conversation was important, but then turned his body around and put his ear to the door.
“Do you know the latest news about Frontman?”
Frontman. The ultimate control of the game. The one who was above the guards.
And more importantly, he was a Gihun's ex. Hwang In-ho.
Damn, Gihun must know what happened to him.
The other guards— it seemed like two people curiously asked, “What's wrong with him?”
The guard whispered slightly, making Gihun cling to the door even more, “Do you know, he's married to the deputy chief.”
With great speed, Gihun opened the door. Making the three guards inside jump in shock. They put on their masks at lightning speed.
“Shit! Why-” Before the guard could continue, Gihun cut him off.
“How did you know that?!” Gihun's temper boiled over, making the three guards look at each other.
“Are you going to tell the leader that we talked about him?” The guard asked, Gihun could feel the fear behind the mask.
Holding back his emotions, Gihun shook his head. "No, tell me quickly."
Again the three guards looked at each other, making Gihun even more impatient. "Why are you looking at each other! Tell me, or I'll tell-"
The three guards shook their heads violently, two of them pushing one of the guys, who seemed to have started the conversation earlier. Meanwhile, the guard scratched his head.
"Yesterday after I finished my duty, I went to the bathroom because I had a severe urge to defecate, I saw Frontman and the Deputy Chief walking together out of the control room. I heard the Deputy Chief say that Frontman took good care of their household all this time."
The other two guards nodded their heads, and said that the two did look good together.
Gihun on the other hand was so shaken, he looked down deeply, turning his body around without looking at the three guards again. He hurriedly unlocked his room, the moment he got inside, he slammed the door behind him loudly. It didn't matter if the other guards would be annoyed, swear at him, or whatever.
.
.
In the end, Gihun could only sleep for an hour, before waking up to the alarm that woke the guards. With unsteady steps, he walked towards the sink, washing his face.
Gihun could see his reflection in the glass, horrible. His eye bags were getting thicker, his eyes were red, and his facial water looked very wrinkled. But who cares about appearances, he was wearing a mask, all the guards on the island were wearing them.
Just as the timer went blank, Gihun locked the door to his room. Lining up with the guards in front of the door.
After another announcement was heard, the guards began to move in a rhythmic, neat, and orderly manner.
It was the first day of the game, and on this day, he would be working in the control room, watching the players from the screen. He sat behind a machine that had many buttons, with a screen that showed the movements of the players.
He stared lazily at the screen, fiddling with a few buttons to change the camera angle. His body was here, his eyes staring at the screen in front of him, but his mind was drifting away somewhere.
But finally something pulled his soul back there, as he heard the sound of footsteps. Recognizing it quickly, as the guards were wearing safety shoes, only one was wearing loafers. In-ho.
Gihun shifted his gaze quickly, as if if he was even a little late, In-ho would disappear from his sight.
Gihun stared at In-ho's back from behind him, ignoring the screen in front of him. After all, the other guards were watching too, there's nothing wrong with one guard skipping work, right?
Although he could only see his back covered by his gray coat, Gihun looked at him lovingly, genuine admiration emanating from his heart, adoring him. Just looking at him made Gihun happy. Making him smile to himself behind the mask he wore.
Unfortunately, that happiness didn't last long. A person in black uniform entered the room, with a square mask, the deputy chief. Gihun's heart burned when he saw the closeness of the two, he felt angry when the deputy chief approached In-ho, talking to him at close range.
But that anger was quickly replaced by sadness, knowing that In-honya had married someone else. Gihun's eyes glazed over.
His gaze kept going in In-ho's direction, even his neck which had been parallel to the screen— pretending to look at it, now followed In-ho's steps as the Frontman walked out of the room.
When the door completely closed, In-ho was nowhere to be seen. Gihun looked down, sighed, and returned to his work again.
.
.
With the day's work finally done, Gihun sat up in his bed. He took off his mask, placing it beside him. He pulled off the black mask he wore, then took a deep breath.
Gihun scratched his hair, before resting his elbows on his knees. He rubbed his face hard, then covered his face with his palms.
Gihun felt very tired, doing work all day was exhausting. Making Gihun now immediately lay down on his bed, lazily taking off his pink uniform.
Gihun stared at the ceiling of his room, his hands folded on his stomach. He daydreamed for a long time, so sleepiness began to overcome him.
But before Gihun could close his eyes completely, someone knocked on his bedroom door. Making him turn to the door with an annoyed sigh.
Gihun lazily grabbed his mask, putting it on casually as it clung to his face. He stood up, walked to the door with forced steps, turned the lock then opened the door.
A triangular guard stood before him. It was unusual for him to see a triangular guard in the box guard dormitory.
Gihun cleared his throat, remembering that this guard below him was not allowed to speak before he told him to, “speak.”
“You've been summoned by the Frontman to go to his room, Sir.”
Hearing the triangle's words, Gihun raised his eyebrows, surprised. Questions began to form in his head. Starting from why In-ho assigned a triangle guard to summon him instead of a square, since the guards who could talk to the Frontman were the square guards.
Then the next question, why did In-ho call him?
Gihun clenched his hands tightly, his jaw hardening before he finally walked out, locking his room. And walked ahead of the triangle guard.
His mind began to fidget, thinking of all the possible bad things that could happen. Had he made a mistake?
Would he be killed? Would there be no leniency application for his status as the Frontman's Ex??
Thinking too much, Gihun had unconsciously arrived at the door of In-ho's room— his private room.
If he could, Gihun would probably turn his body upside down, walk back to his room, pretending to sleep like a faint person until he couldn't be woken up. Instead, Gihun could only take a deep breath and then exhale.
“Guard number 31 is facing,” Gihun had to bite his lip when calling In-ho with that formality, “Sir.”
“Come in.” A voice from inside answered him.
Gihun had to inhale and exhale again, he felt sweaty when he opened the door, and felt even worse when he entered the room. The air conditioner seemed to freeze his body.
Gihun walked over to In-ho who was sitting behind him, stopping just one step behind the sofa where In-ho was sitting.
“What's the matter with you calling me, Sir?” Gihun asked the question, feeling fortunate that his voice was distorted by the mask he wore, so the vibrations in his voice were disguised.
“Come, stand before me.” And Gihun complied, he walked around In-ho's sofa and stood in front of him.
In-ho wasn't wearing his mask, it was lying next to a fully filled whiskey glass, untouched— or perhaps freshly refilled. His face showed no expression whatsoever, his hands resting on the handle of the sofa.
Gihun tried to look for anger in In-ho's expression, and found none, so he breathed a sigh of relief.
Which didn't last long because In-ho suddenly commanded, “Take off your mask.” He said, making Gihun glare behind his mask. But of course there was no chance to refuse, no chance to argue.
So Gihun slowly raised his hand, held his mask and then carefully removed it, as if the mask would be destroyed if he hurriedly removed it.
Once the mask was off Gihun lowered his head, unable to look directly into In-ho's eyes. The marble floor he was on now felt very interesting.
“Was it the floor that called you here, Seong Gihun?” Gihun quickly raised his head, staring at In-ho while shaking his head vigorously. It made In-ho think that his head would fall off if he shook so quickly.
"Aren't you happy to see me? Why are you looking at something else now?" In-ho asked with a smirk on his face.
Gihun's eyes widened, his ears heating up. He felt like a cat caught in the act of stealing a piece of salted fish.
Gihun's body leaned forward slightly, "Sir, I didn't-"
"I'm sure that I saw you looking at me continuously, Gihun. Do you think I don't know that?" In-ho cut in before Gihun could finish his sentence, his hand now holding the whiskey glass, swirling it slowly.
Gihun looked stunned, his eyes glancing around for any lie that might make sense.
"My neck hurts from constantly looking at the screen, Sir."
In-ho frowned, Gihun was one hundred percent sure that In-ho didn't believe a word he said.
"You're lying."
"I'm not-" In-ho glared at him, making Gihun gulp down his saliva. "Fine, I lied."
Gihun had to restrain himself from lowering his gaze again, for some reason the marble floor felt too attractive to look at.
"I missed you." He couldn't look In-ho in the eye as he said that, choosing to look behind the sofa In-ho was sitting on.
In-ho didn't answer anything, alright. There's a heart that In-ho needs to take care of now, Gihun understands. That their relationship no longer existed, and it was all because of Gihun. He already had a replacement.
“If that's all, I'll excuse myself.” Gihun bit his own inner cheek, his eyes forced to look towards In-ho.
Gihun lowered his voice, closing his eyes. “Although it's late, congratulations on your wedding, Hwang In-ho.”
Silence.
“What do you mean?” In-ho's voice made Gihun open his eyes, he could see In-ho looking at him with an annoyed— or perhaps confused gaze.
“Now- now you're married, right?” Gihun asked hesitantly.
In-ho raised one eyebrow, taking a quick sip of his whiskey. “How can you say that?”
Gihun thought, he remembered his promise to the guards back then that he wouldn't tell In-ho that they were talking about him.
“I heard.” Gihun said, trying to keep his tone firm and not hesitant. “I heard that the Deputy Chief said that you were taking good care of your household.”
Really, when he said it Gihun had to prevent tears from escaping his eyes.
In-ho stared at him for a while, before laughing. He placed the whiskey glass in his hand on the table, worried that it would spill from the shaking of his body.
Gihun stayed where he was, mesmerized, In-ho was so beautiful when he laughed. To say that he was a madman who was mesmerized just by the sight of someone laughing would be an understatement. But it's been a long time since he last saw In-ho laugh, a long time since their love affair ended. Then their relationship as superiors and subordinates made their interactions stilted, a call of formality here and there.
Gihun stayed where he was as In-ho's laughter finally died down. "So you think I'm married to that officer?" He looked at Gihun with an amused look.
Making Gihun nod in a broken motion, confused about the current situation. His gaze heading towards the floor, his finger that was behind his body he played with.
"I'm not married." In-ho's tone was casual, his eyes flashing with concern for Gihun.
Gihun immediately looked at In-ho, "Really?"
In-ho nodded in response, making Gihun stare at him in disbelief.
"Then what the deputy chief said back then-"
"It was just a joke, the household he was referring to was this game." In-ho smiled amusedly as he explained.
Damn it. Gihun felt like hitting the guards who gave him that false information, remind him when he returned to his dorm.
But for now Gihun just wanted to drown himself in shame, he wanted to get out of this room and go to the sea and jump in.
Seeing In-ho who continued to stare at him, Gihun became mischievous. "I- I'm sorry." Gihun bowed his body deeply.
In-ho laughed again, crisper this time. Making Gihun raise his head to look at it. And when Gihun looked into In-ho's eyes, their gazes met, In-ho looked at him with a tenderness he hadn't seen in a long time.
And Gihun thought he was in love again. He wasn't. He never stopped loving In-ho.
Gihun suddenly knelt down, resting only on his knees, until there was a soft thud, making In-ho startle. "What- is our relationship beyond repair, In-ho? Can you forgive me, and then we can start a new relationship? I- please?"
He looked at In-ho with a pitiable gaze. It reminded In-ho of the golden retriever's pleading eyes behind the glass of a pet store, begging In-ho to adopt it.
In-ho had to bite his lip hard to keep from smiling.
Instead he puts on a flat face, seemingly indifferent. He tapped his chin with his finger, pretending to think.
"I don't know, Gihun. I think it's hard to forgive your mistake." In-ho shrugged his shoulders slightly, he glanced at Gihun who now looked teary-eyed.
"I was too selfish back then In-ho, forgive me, please give me a chance." Gihun placed his palms on the cold marble, his tears held in his eyes.
Gihun knew he was being too selfish. Gihun, who was going through a difficult time at the time, was invited into the game as a guard. He disappeared for a few weeks without giving In-ho any news. When he returned from the island, exhausted, and a little traumatized by what he had just seen, he found himself scolded by In-ho. Gihun knew it was his fault, but at the time his emotions got the better of him and their relationship broke down.
A year after they lost contact, they suddenly met again at the game. And here they are now, being superior and subordinate. Driving the game of death together.
In-ho's head tilted, looking at Gihun with a probing gaze. “Do you have any regrets?”
Gihun nodded. He had regrets, regrets that haunted him from the moment he broke up with In-ho.
“Come here.” In-ho waved his left hand, telling Gihun to approach him.
Gihun mindlessly dragged his knees, stopping right in front of In-ho. Gihun raised his head when he looked at In-ho, which was strange because he usually had to look down to stare at the small and cute In-ho (In-ho was literally not small and cute at all, and would kill him if he knew what was in his head, but who cares).
“Let's go back?” Gihun looked at In-ho like he was a puppy kicked out into the street. Hoping In-ho would be touched by him.
And yes, In-ho certainly couldn't resist those puppy dog eyes.
In-ho cupped both of Gihun's pretty full cheeks. "You know if you make a mistake a second time I won't forgive you, Gihun?"
Gihun nodded firmly, "I know, I know. I promise I won't do it again!"
In-ho sighed, he stepped back to rest his back against the back of the sofa. Leaning there, trying to comfort himself by closing his eyes.
Gihun's eyes couldn't stop following In-ho's every move. "So..." Carefully, like walking on a rotten wooden bridge, Gihun asked, "do you want to?"
In-ho opened one eye, peeked, before finally opening both eyes. He averted his gaze, choosing to stare at the black screen behind Gihun rather than Gihun's own face. He sighed once more before nodding slowly.
And Gihun immediately hugged his stomach, his head nuzzling In-ho's belly. "Thank you, thank you In-ho. Damn, I'm so happy."
In-ho could only smile a little, stroking Gihun's fluffy hair. And Gihun finally lifted his head, looking into In-ho's eyes and then at his lips before turning his eyes again to ask for wordless approval.
In-ho grunted before nodding, and Gihun immediately lifted his body, his lips grabbing In-ho's eagerly. He hugged In-ho's waist tightly as if afraid that if he let go In-ho would leave him. While their tongues intertwined with each other because of the longing that had been unbearable.
The sound of wet splashing filled the room before they finally parted due to the need to breathe oxygen.
Gihun looked down at In-ho's swollen lips, stroking them gently. “You know In-ho?” In-ho looked at him questioningly, "I really like your lips, they're beautiful. But I like my lips better because I can enjoy your lips with these." Gihun pointed at his own lips.
In-ho blushed, he covered his mouth with his hand. Damn, he was almost 50 years old and now blushing just because of Gihun's flirting like a high schooler who just fell in love.
Gihun just grinned, giving his usual wide smile. Then turned his head to the side, making In-ho follow his direction. In-ho's bed.
Gihun looked back at In-ho, raising his eyebrows. And when In-ho nodded hesitantly, Gihun didn't hesitate, he immediately pulled In-ho close to the bed.
Gihun seemed to be thankful rather than hitting the guards.