Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Minseok! Luhan! Dinner's ready!" A black-haired male called, catching the attention of a small brunette playing in the garden with his best friend.

"Coming, Papa!"

"Coming, Uncle!"

Squeals of laughter were heard before two eight-year-old boys were sitting at the dining table, already hungry after their mini soccer game. Sehun swiped away his black fringe swaying in front of his eyes as he placed two plates in front of his son and his godson, both of who eagerly thanked the man and dug in. Sehun shook his head in fondness, turning around to grab a plate for himself and heading towards the sitting room to watch his favourite drama, when long arms wrapped around his waist as he reached the hallway, startling him.

"How were you and the boys, Hunnie?" Words ghosted against Sehun's skin as he relaxed into the familiar embrace.

"Don't scare me, Jongin," Sehun scolded playfully, before turning around and pressing a brief kiss against his shoeless hugger's cheek. "I'm good though. The boys are eating now, actually," Sehun said, gesturing his head towards the kitchen and being careful not to drop his food. "Did you just get back? Do you want anything to eat?"

Jongin shook his head. "Yeah, I did. And I just had dinner after one long office meeting, so no thank you," he sighed. "Thanks for the offer though." He smiled, taking Sehun's plate into his hand. "Let me join you instead." 

Sehun raised an eyebrow. "You know I'm only going to watch my dramas, right?" He said as they entered the sitting room and sat down on their couch, Jongin placing Sehun's plate on the coffee table.

"I'm sure I could persuade you otherwise," Jongin grinned.

Sehun scoffed, clicking the on button on the remote. "Not on my weekly drama night, you're not. Besides, Luhan's here too, remember? Junmyeon-hyung won't be here until seven since he's been busy all day. He's bringing Yixing to the obstetrician's office and then going to grab some papers from his office."

Jongin pouted, shrugging off his suit jacket and curling up with his lover, entangling their fingers together as the drama began. "Ugh, why did he have to be busy today?"

Sehun looked at the other's sulky face and chuckled. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow," he said, cuddling closer to Jongin and leaning his head against the other's shoulder, getting comfortable.

Jongin smiled happily. "I'll hold you to that one," he replied, pressing a kiss on Sehun's forehead before moving to thread his fingers through black locks instead.

It wasn't even an hour later before two small bodies joined the couple in snuggling on the couch, all eyes fully engrossed in the interesting drama playing before them on the widescreen.

It was a perfect moment of bliss.

xXx

Sehun had come into Jongin's life at the age of twenty-three, still young and working at the local restaurant as a stiff waiter by day, and a sassy bartender by night.

He had lived in a modest one-bedroom flat, and was content with how his life was progressing. Sure, he had dropped out after high school and had not gone to university like everyone thought he would. University just wasn't for him, and it was his choice, no matter how smart he was or how much his mother pushed him to go.

He definitely didn't regret his life choices when he first met twenty-six-year-old Jongin and three-year-old Minseok while serving them their lunch, and then again Jongin alone when he was passing him a few drinks late at night.

One year later after meeting the man, he had moved into a new, spacious house with Jongin and was a father to an adorable four-year-old boy at twenty-four, and the rest was history. He became a full-time carer to Minseok, as Jongin earned enough money for the three of them as a high-up corporate officer, and was even in the talks of becoming the next CEO after the current one had retired in the next few years, even at such a young age. 

By the time Minseok was five and was entered into kindergarten, Sehun managed to get a part-time job at the local bakery, as he didn't want to be a full-time househusband. Three more years later, and twenty-eight-year-old Sehun was perfectly happy with his life. He had his bright, eight-year-old son and a wonderful lover who came home everyday, from work or school. 

Sometimes though, there were days where Sehun would wonder if Jongin would ever marry him, but he didn't really mind, much. He knew the man loved him.

Well, loved him as much as he could.

Somewhere, deep down in Sehun's heart, it hurt to know that while Jongin loved him, the older man would also never forget his first love, Kyungsoo; Minseok's carrier father and Jongin's estranged husband.

Sehun only got the basic details of what had happened to Jongin's first; apparently, Kyungsoo's parents hadn't approved of Jongin for some unknown reason. Neither Jongin nor Kyungsoo had cared and continued their relationship. They eloped when Jongin was twenty-two - Kyungsoo being twenty-three - and then had Minseok the following year. They stayed in blissful happiness until a month after Minseok's second birthday, and that's when Jongin lost his first love.

Kyungsoo had got himself into a car accident that had him trapped in a deep coma. Kyungsoo's parents blamed Jongin for it, though Jongin wasn't there when it happened. Even then, Jongin took the blame and begged the doctors to everything they could to wake his Kyungsoo safely.

Instead of getting a husband who was awake and healthy, he was left with a note resting on Kyungsoo's hospital bed from Kyungsoo's parents the following week, stating that they had moved Kyungsoo to another country for better help, and somewhere where Jongin would never be able to see him again. They had even taken the liberty of signing the divorce papers for Kyungsoo.

It left Jongin a mess for months, but he kept going for his baby son. If not for Minseok, Jongin would have given up on life. Then, after a year of being a single father, that was when Sehun entered into Jongin's life, and suddenly he felt the hurt disappear, the fear for the future vanish, and he fell in love again. That was what Jongin had told Sehun, and Sehun could feel that the man was being honest the first time he had admitted it.

But, whenever he would find a growing pile of stray pictures of the married couple together in Jongin's same drawer every few months, and with the knowledge that Jongin never did sign those divorce papers (Jongin didn't know that Sehun had found them under a stack of old papers about year after moving in when he was cleaning their bedroom), it made the younger man wonder; did Jongin still miss Kyungsoo? Did he still love Kyungsoo?

Yes, Sehun had a perfect life, but was it was the perfect life Jongin wanted?

xXx

"Jongin, could you get the defrosted chicken from the fridge please?" Sehun called out to his lover.

"Sure!" Jongin yelled back. "What are you making?"

"Curry!" Sehun said as Jongin walked into the kitchen to hand over the cold meat. "Minnie said he wanted to try it."

Jongin nodded in approval. "Mm. Haven't had curry in a while. But what if Minnie doesn't like it?"

Sehun rolled his eyes. "Have you seen our son? He loves everything we give him. Even green peppers," he said, making a face. "I swear, he inherited your despicable taste buds."

"Green peppers are nice!" Jongin argued teasingly, knowing how much the other hated it. "Especially on pizza."

"They are disgusting and even worse on pizza," Sehun disagreed. "Urgh," he shuddered dramatically. 

"Green peppers!" A voice yelled, slamming straight into Sehun's legs. Minseok clung to his papa and gripped the man's jeans. "Can you put green peppers in the curry, Papa?"

Sehun gave Jongin a look saying, 'see what I mean?' He gently ruffled his son's hair before responding. "I'll do it just for you, my little bun."

Minseok cheered, waving his arms in the air. Jongin just laughed at his son's enthusiasm and held his hand out to the child. "Come on, Minnie. Let's watch a little TV and let your papa finish cooking without any disturbances." Minseok nodded in agreement and took his appa's hand, leading them to the sitting room as Sehun smiled fondly before concentrating on his preparations.

When he had finished preparing and cooking, Sehun gently turned the heat down on the stove, his ears picking up the muffled sounds of a Disney film playing. He slowly reached out for a fresh piece of fruit as he waited for the curry to simmer, trying to satisfy his recent cravings. Sehun let his hand run over his stomach as he smiled contently. 

Just yesterday, he had gone to the doctor's office for a check up after throwing up and feeling unwell periodically for past few weeks. Instead of leaving the office with the knowledge of a detrimental disease, he left with the news of a 4-week pregnancy and a growing baby.

A baby.

Sehun and Jongin were going to be fathers again, and Minseok was going to be an older brother - they were going to have a new addition to the family!

Sehun could barely contain his excitement, making it hard not to spill it there and then to Jongin. He wanted to make it special, or at least with a simple dinner.

'Maybe I could tell him today? Today is kind of special; it's Minnie's first time eating curry,' Sehun mused as he turned the stove off and set the plates up in the dining room. As he finished filling the three plates with food, he called for the father and son, hearing the patter of small feet approaching and bigger footsteps behind.

"Looks really good, Hunnie," Jongin complimented, eagerly sitting down at the same time as his son.

"Don't drool before you even dig in," Sehun teased, getting a faux-affronted look from the older. "And Minnie, eat slowly or you'll get gassy again," Sehun reminded the child who was already eating. Minseok nodded in acknowledgement, engrossed in eating his papa's delicious food. Meanwhile, Jongin slowly dug into his food, mumbling how good of a cook his Sehun was, and making said man chuckle at the elder's expressions.

A suddenly knock at the front door had Sehun furrowing his eyebrows, wondering if he was hearing things. "Appa, Papa, someone's at the door," Minseok said, clarifying to Sehun that he wasn't hallucinating.

"I'll get it," Sehun said, standing up. Who could be here at seven o'clock in the evening? He hoped it wasn't a late-night salesman.

He made his way to the door, and opened it carelessly. "I'm sorry, we're rather busy right now- Uh..." Sehun suddenly felt the words stick in his throat as he saw who was standing in front of him.

"I won't be long, I promise, but I was actually wondering if there was someone living here? His name is Kim-"

"Who's at the door, Hunnie-" Jongin's voice asked from behind the frozen black-haired male, only to choke on his words.

"-Jongin?"

"...Kyungsoo?"

xXx

Sehun didn't know if it was the baby making his stomach churn, or if it was the sight of Kyungsoo and Jongin happily curled up on the couch, speaking in hushed tones that even his excellent hearing couldn't decipher.

"Papa? Who's that?" Minseok whispered to the elder. They were both on the other couch, watching the chattering pair opposite them.

"That's..." Sehun hesitated, unsure whether or not he should tell Minseok the truth. "That's your daddy," he said finally.

Minseok's eyes widened. "My daddy?" He whispered slowly. "My real daddy?" Minseok's eyes brightened in surprised happiness.

Sehun smiled as brightly as he could, although he felt a dull pain at Minseok's innocent words. "Yeah. Your daddy."

"What should I do?" Minseok asked, sounding nervous all of a sudden.

"Why don't you talk to him?" Sehun suggested, trying not to let the heavy feeling in his gut affect him. He should be happy that Minseok was getting the chance to meet his biological father, something he had always wished for as a child, but never got to have.

"I don't know what to say," Minseok said, looking worried and nervous. "What if he hates me?"

Sehun kissed Minseok's forehead gently. "No one could ever hate you, my little bun. Especially me, your appa, and now your daddy."

Minseok hugged his papa tightly, trying to draw reassurances from the elder. With a comforting pat, Sehun gently pushed Minseok forward to approach the duo sitting opposite them. Jongin and Kyungsoo both noticed Minseok's presence and looked up, seeing the child swing his hands together and bite his lip.

"Are you... Are you my real daddy?" Minseok asked, nearly stumbling over his words.

Both Jongin and Kyungsoo smiled at Minseok's obvious nervousness, while Sehun bit down on his tongue to stop the bubbling ache in his chest.

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo, who answered. "Yes, Minseok. Do you remember me?" He asked, although he was sure that the child probably didn't. The last time they had seen each other was when Minseok was two, which was six years ago.

"Not really, but Appa always shows me your picture at bedtime," Minseok replied, giving a shy smile.

Sehun glanced at Jongin briefly, a little hurt that the male had not told him about that. All this time, Minseok had known what his carrier father looked like. It would have been nice to know that Minseok was clearly aware of who exactly his real carrier father was. 

"Can I... Can I hug you?" The child shyly asked. 

Minseok blinked at the elder man in front of him, getting a gentle nod from the other before he threw himself at the man, embracing his carrier father tightly as Kyungsoo laughed in fondness. Sehun bit his lip, not sure if the jealousy he was feeling was because he had never met his own father or because Minseok was already warming up to his real parent quickly.

As the trio lapsed into soft chatters and happy giggles, Sehun could only cast his eyes down at the floor in uneasiness. He suddenly felt excluded and isolated in his own corner, being ignored by the reunited family across from him. With a soft murmur, Sehun excused himself, barely getting a glance from both his son and lover as he exited the room, the urge to throw up strong as he caught one last look at the three in the sitting room.

It was like looking at the picture-perfect family.

xXx

Sehun sighed as he stepped in front of his obstetrician's door for the second time in three weeks.

Since Kyungsoo had made his miraculous appearance a few weeks ago, everything was becoming more and more stressful for Sehun. He would throw up every morning, feel dizzy at random points during the day, and could hardly eat due to being so nauseous all the time. What made it worse was that Jongin didn't seem to notice, too busy and wrapped up in work or going out with Kyungsoo and Minseok. Yes, Sehun wanted them to have fun, but all he could feel was the raging jealousy every time Kyungsoo's name popped up in a text message. 

'Minseok wanted to go to the aquarium today with Kyungsoo, so I went along since you were at work. Hope you don't mind. Love, Nini.'

'There's a fair in central that Kyungsoo wanted to show Minseok, so I've gone with them. Catch up with you later. Love, Nini.'

'Kyungsoo invited Minseok out for dinner, and I decided to tag along. Don't worry about dinner; I'll get you a takeaway. See you later! Love, Nini.'

Kyungsoo this, Kyungsoo that. It made Sehun feel like throwing something.

It wasn't because Kyungsoo was a horrible person. In fact, Kyungsoo was a talented, beautiful, and kind man who had lost his family against his own will, but who clearly held no romantic feelings for Jongin anymore - it was obvious in the way he kept his touches very reserved.

When Jongin had finally introduced Kyungsoo the night he had arrived, Sehun swallowed his jealousy and could only feel awe at how flawless the man looked despite being a few years older. He was also an amazing singer - his smooth vocals made Minseok gasp in delight while Jongin grinned after Kyungsoo's impromptu performance at their local café a few days ago. His kindness never failed to shine through, and it made it hard for Sehun to hate him. If anything, it only made him more envious and slightly wary. He could see why Jongin had fallen for the man, and Sehun was starting to feel a little out of his depth when he compared himself to the other.

Despite the jealousy that burned under his skin, however, Sehun could only feel sorry for the man who had lost years of his happy life because of his own parents. From what Jongin had told him after Kyungsoo had gone home after his first visit, the older man had only fully regained his memories a few months ago. Kyungsoo's parents had kept everything from him after he woke up from the accident with no memories after he was 18, and only when he got a minor concussion whilst working at his office a few years later, did he remember the things his parents had tried to hide. Needless to say, the man was furious and immediately cut contact with his parents, setting off to find Jongin and fix the family ties he had unknowingly left behind.

The man had admitted to Jongin that he did not love him anymore; after all, it had been so long since they had seen each other, and though he had regained his memories, Kyungsoo stated that it was more like receiving an heirloom - a story from the past that, while he could empathise, he couldn't completely feel the real emotions behind it.

Jongin, of course, was simply happy that Kyungsoo was back, wanting Minseok to meet the man who had given birth to him. Their closeness was very polite but warm, something that settled Sehun's nerves but also made him feel a little... cautious.

It wasn't like Sehun could say how he was really feeling, though. He couldn't tell Jongin to stop hanging out with his estranged husband because the man only wanted Kyungsoo to reconcile with his past and Minseok, and he didn't want Jongin to ignore him anymore than he already was, however unintentional. Besides, they weren't doing anything that was beyond friendly. There was no reason that he would need to feel jealous at all, yet here he was.

It also didn't help that Sehun still hadn't told Jongin about the baby, something that he should have mentioned three weeks ago when he found out. Now, he was already nearly 8 weeks in and Jongin still wasn't aware, even though it was starting to become more obvious with the slight swell of his stomach.

'Sorry, Hunnie. I can't meet up with you today. Minseok wanted to go to the zoo with Kyungsoo and me. Hope you understand. Love, Nini.'

Sehun sighed as he glanced at the most recent text message again. Today was the day he was going to try and tell Jongin once more, but the male had cancelled on him, and it was starting to make Sehun feel increasingly lonely and a little more than upset, as he had been doing it more often than a few times. He'd rather be ignored in the presence of Kyungsoo than be left alone by the person he loved.

Stepping into the office, Sehun relaxed as he greeted his obstetrician, Dr Lee, waving lightly at the woman as she smiled.

"Sehun-ah," Dr Lee greeted, gesturing to the seat in front of her. "What can I do for you today?"

"My nausea isn't lessening, even though I tried all those tips you recommended," Sehun said, frowning a little. "It's making it hard to even step outside the room without want to throw up."

Dr Lee hummed. "Is your dizziness getting better?"

"A little. It's not as frequent as before."

"That's good," Dr Lee responded. "I suppose I can give you some mild medicine for the nausea, Sehun-ah, but bear in mind what I told you last time; dizziness is part of the side effects of the meds, unfortunately."

Sehun shook his head. "The dizziness is bearable. Rather that than puking your guts up every few hours."

Dr Lee nodded in understanding. "Apart from that, are you ready for your second ultrasound?"

Sehun's eyes shone in excitement. "Today? Really?"

"Uh-huh," Dr Lee hummed as she started to set up the equipment. "Is your boyfriend coming today?"

Sehun's mood dropped a little at the mention of Jongin, remembering that he was somewhere with someone else. "Uh... Not today. He's... busy again."

As if Dr Lee could see through Sehun's lame excuse, she eyed the pregnant male with a pitying gaze, but said nothing more, which Sehun was thankful for. Dr Lee gestured for Sehun to lay on the bed and lift his shirt, before she placed the cool gel on his stomach, making Sehun shiver at the feeling.

"Here you go," Dr Lee said, smiling as a awed look appeared on Sehun's face. "They're about two centimetres now, and still growing rapidly. Oh, and look! Little fingers," the doctor chuckled, pointing at the webbed hands on the screen. "You might feel like peeing a bit more often than you're used to, but that's because your womb will be pressing against your bladder now that your baby's growing bigger."

Sehun grinned, his heart bursting with joy at the sight of his healthy little baby. He only wished Jongin was there with him to experience it too. His face must have shown his sadness, because Dr Lee then placed a warm hand on Sehun's shoulder as he sat up.

"Sehun-ah, are you okay?" The doctor asked. "You seem to be rather upset about something? Are you having problems with your boyfriend?"

Sehun shook his head and decided to tell the woman, thinking that it wouldn't hurt since she knew a little about Jongin and Minseok anyway, and Dr Lee was a very understanding lady. "Not really. It's just... He still doesn't know about the baby."

Dr Lee's expression became one of concern. "You know that you should tell him, right?"

Sehun nodded. "Yes of course, and it's not like I don't want to tell him, it's just that there's never the right opportunity. He's just... busy. All the time."

"Sehun-ah... Are you sure it's not just because he's busy?"

"I... I guess it's partly that, and because I'm scared of how he'll react," Sehun admitted. "I don't know if he'll want me to keep that baby because he's finally found his ex and they're always seeing each other, and I feel like they might get back together even though Jongin says he wants nothing more than friendship and-" Sehun stopped, realising he had said too much and revealed the fears he'd had for a very long time; that maybe, Jongin still held feelings Kyungsoo.

Dr Lee looked Sehun. "It's okay if you don't want to continue," she said, patting the younger on the shoulder comfortingly. "But I'm here to listen if you want to talk."

Sehun took a deep breath and continued. "I just... He couldn't come today because he's at the zoo with his ex and Minseok. I was going to tell him today by bringing him with me, actually, but he messaged me last minute, so I came alone again." He gazed at his lap, trying not to tear up. "Is it wrong to feel so jealous of someone that you physically feel sick just thinking about it? Even though they're only friends, and haven't shown to be anything more than that, I still feel so- so jealous."

Dr Lee shook she head. "Of course you would feel jealous, Sehun-ah. It's natural that you would feel like that because your boyfriend is with his ex, no matter the friendship boundaries they have now. But, you shouldn't let it affect you emotionally to the point where you accidentally hurt yourself and people's feelings in the process. I know that will be difficult, considering the hormonal imbalance you now face being pregnant, but try and speak to your boyfriend about this alone. Even pull him out at dinner if you have to. The sooner you tell him about how you feel, and about the baby, the better you'll feel. I know it." Dr Lee cleared her throat. "Now, on the other hand, what concerns me more, though, is that this seems to be stressing you out, which might be why you've been getting frequent dizzy spells and headaches. Stress isn't good for the baby, Sehun-ah. I want you to be as stress-free as you possibly can, and right now you clearly are not. Luckily, it hasn't affected your baby yet, but we don't want to risk it any further."

"I know, Dr Lee. But I don't know what to do," Sehun said, his voice cracking a little. "I'm scared that Jongin won't want this; that he would rather not 'just be friends' with Kyungsoo and take Minseok, and then leave me with an unborn child."

"Is the Jongin you know and love a person like that? To just up and leave?" Dr Lee asked.

"No. No, he isn't," Sehun replied instantly. "He's a wonderful person, and he cherishes the thought of children."

"Then trust in that. If you know Jongin is that kind of person, then I'm sure he'd never leave because of something as amazing as another child with you."

Sehun nodded, feeling a bit reassured. He shouldn't be doubting Jongin's love for him, but sometimes it was hard, and that was when he would need someone to set him straight. "Thank you, Dr Lee," he said, acknowledging his doctor's words.

"I'm always here if you want to talk." Dr Lee patted Sehun's hand warmly, coaxing out a smile from the other. "Ah, now on a better note, do you want an ultrasound picture of your baby?" The doctor asked, changing the topic to a more exciting one.

Sehun's smile widened at that, his mood lifting at the thought of keeping a memento of his baby. "Of course!"

No matter what he was feeling at that moment, the overwhelming thought of getting to meet his new baby in a few months was the only thing occupying his mind.

xXx

Over a week had passed since Sehun's doctor appointment, and sadly, nothing had changed. Sehun hadn't even bothered to pull Jongin out for a private dinner; he was busy and wasn't home often enough for that. In all honesty, the male had just resigned himself to a long period of secrecy and loneliness.

Although he had been asked by both Jongin and Kyungsoo several times if he wanted to join them in their outings, he always said no because he was afraid he would starting puking (even though he had the medicine to control it), or that his jealousy would overtake him and he would do something rash, even though it was now obvious to Jongin and Kyungsoo that Sehun wasn't really happy about Kyungsoo being around. Sehun just wanted the green-eyed monster in his heart to go away, but until Kyungsoo was gone, he didn't think it would ever disappear.

The front door suddenly swung open, startling Sehun out of his musings. The TV programme playing in the background was barely audible to the male for the last two hours since he had come home from a tiring day at work.

"How was your day?" Sehun asked softly when Jongin appeared with Minseok and Kyungsoo in tow after another one of their outings. He resisted the temptation to add the word 'again.' 

They had quickly settled into the sitting room comfortably with Minseok giggling quietly as Kyungsoo showed the child something on his iPad as they sat on the floor. Jongin had placed himself next to Sehun, who was sitting on the couch and was absentmindedly watching the film that was showing before the others had come back.

"It was good," Jongin said happily. "We had a good talk and took Minseok to that restaurant with that dessert he wanted."

'Just like a family outing,' Sehun thought bitterly. He shook his head minutely. "That's nice," he managed to get out. He curled his arm around his belly subtly, willing the churning in his gut to settle down.

Jongin didn't seem notice the strain in Sehun's voice as he turned back to look at Minseok and Kyungsoo's playful interaction. "They look alike, don't they?"

"Mm," Sehun hummed, trying not to feel hurt at how true Jongin's words were. It was even more obvious when the adult and child smiled at the same time. It served to remind Sehun that he and his baby were the odd ones out in the little family.

"I'm glad Kyungsoo came back," Jongin continued, unaware of the pain he was causing Sehun. "Minseok's always wanted to meet his father."

"Really?" Sehun asked - that was news to him. He turned off the TV with his free hand; no one was really paying attention to it anyway, especially him.

"Yeah. Whenever I would show him a photo of him as a baby with Kyungsoo and I, he'd always look at Kyungsoo and say, 'Daddy,'" Jongin said. "I guess he always knew his birth father."

Sehun felt his heart twist at those words. "Well, Minseok's smart child. He certainly doesn't get that from you," he joked, trying to get rid of the odd taste in his mouth.

Jongin snorted. "Well, you're right about that. And, I've never met someone as neat and tidy as Kyungsoo. Minseok definitely inherited that from him."

Sehun chose not to comment and instead looked at the clock beside him, noticing how dark it was outside. "It's late."

Jongin glanced over too. "Huh. You're right. Kyungsoo should go before it gets really dark." Sehun nodded all too quickly, eager to see the man go before he threw up from how nauseous he was feeling. He made his way over to the pair and tapped Kyungsoo on the shoulder.

"Uh, Kyungsoo-ssi, it's getting late," Sehun said, trying to ignore the sight of the man holding Minseok in his lap. "You should probably go now to avoid it getting too dark by the time you get home."

Kyungsoo glanced at the window and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I should probably go." He gently shifted Minseok out of his lap and stood up, smoothing down his ruffled clothes. He made to grab his coat hanging on the edge of the couch, but Minseok whined and pulled at the man's hand.

"Don't go yet, Daddy," Minseok pleaded, hugging the man's waist tightly. Sehun's heart twisted in jealousy. Minseok never asked him to stay like that. "I still wanna play with you."

Kyungsoo smiled fondly down at his son, petting the boy's soft hair. "I can't stay now, Minnie; it's late. Besides, I'm sure your papa will play with you instead, if you want."

Minseok glanced at Sehun briefly before turning back to Kyungsoo. "But I want to play with you, Daddy. Not Papa."

Sehun felt his gut drop a little, but pushed the hurt feeling aside in favour of speaking. "Minseok, don't be selfish. Your daddy has to go home before it gets really dark; he lives far and it won't be very safe if he leaves later," he said, picking up Kyungsoo's jacket for him and handing it over to the man.

"Then he can just stay here, right?" Minseok said stubbornly.

"Minseok, he can't just stay here," Sehun responded. "He has nowhere to sleep, for one."

"Yes he does," Minseok argued, a frown on his face. "He can sleep in my room."

"Also, he's busy tomorrow. Aren't you, Kyungsoo-ssi?" Sehun said, ignoring Minseok's words. He knew at this point he was being petty and just really trying to get the other out of his house, but he just couldn't have the other man sleeping there too. It was already too much for his mixed emotions to handle.

"Actually I have a free day tomorrow-" Kyungsoo said, only to be interrupted by Sehun. 

"See? Kyungsoo-ssi will be busy tomorrow, so you should just let him go home," Sehun said in a rush. "You can see him again another day, okay, Minseok?"

"No!" Minseok shouted, startling the adults in the room. Sehun flinched, shocked to hear the child raise his voice. "Why won't you let Daddy stay?!" Minseok stamped him foot, his face displeased and upset. "He's my real daddy, not you, and I want him to stay!" He made an angry noise and stormed up the stairs, a worried Kyungsoo following closely behind.

Sehun stared after his son - his non-biological son, he cruelly reminded himself - his heart tearing to pieces as the words fully slapped him in the face. 

He's my real daddy, not you.

Not you.

Those words hurt more than any knife wound could, and it was taking all of Sehun's strength to not break down there and then. He felt numb, and he was convinced he wasn't breathing until Jongin started speaking to him.

"Sehun, what the hell was that?" Jongin asked, looking frustrated. Sehun felt like he was being punched in the stomach, feeling the baby shifting around restlessly, as if reacting to the emotional hurt that was wrapping itself around his drying throat. "You really didn't have to try and kick Kyungsoo out if Minseok didn't want him to leave. He could have slept on the couch, you know." He shook his head. "I get you don't really like him, but stop being self-centred and understand that this person is Minseok's father too. You of all people should understand what it's like not know your father." With one last look of pure disappointment, he headed upstairs, leaving Sehun alone in the stifling expanse of the empty sitting room.

Sehun let his legs hit the floor as soon as Jongin's figure disappeared, uncaring of the physical pain on his knees, because all he could feel was the agonising pain in his heart, threatening to leave him curled up on the ground. He gasped deeply, the feeling of tears clogging up his eyes and throat, making it hard to breath as he curled onto the floor and sobbed into the carpet silently, just wanting to disappear.

He could hear the soft murmur of words being spoken by Kyungsoo and Jongin, no doubt comforting Minseok in his bedroom. A month ago, that was what he used to do with Jongin whenever Minseok was crying about something. Now, he was the reason his son was upset.

Minseok - his small, happy and bright little light in his life, as much a part of his soul as Jongin was. The child he raised from the tender age of four until now. The little bun he loved and cherished and wished to whatever deity that Minseok could be his - his real son - even though it was impossible.

But Minseok wasn't his son, not biologically. And Jongin was not his husband and never would be, no matter how much he had always deeply wanted him to be. Sehun knew that.

No matter how much Sehun lied to himself, he was ruining this family. Kyungsoo wasn't at fault; he was. He was the intruder, the pretender, the faker. He was taking away Jongin and Minseok's happiness by trying to take a place that already had an occupant. Ever since Kyungsoo had come back, he knew it. He knew it and tried so hard to deny it, to say it wasn't true, but the matter of the fact was, it was.

He was the one piece that needed to be discarded.

A sad realisation hit Sehun amidst his despairing enlightenment, and it only made him sob harder. There was only one way he could stop being selfish and to make his family happy.

With a heavy heart and a tearstained face, Sehun grabbed some spare blankets from the cupboard and laid himself down on the couch and tried to get comfortable for him and his baby, knowing that he wasn't welcome in his bedroom with Jongin probably still pissed at him.

'I think it's time for me to leave. I... don't belong here anymore.' 

Sehun clenched the rough material of his blanket, a slow teardrop sliding down the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes for a night of restless sleep, the tragic words playing constantly in his mind.

xXx

Morning came, and it was a silent affair.

Sehun prepared breakfast nice and early, dark circles under his red, puffy eyes after having slept very little, despite trying his best for the health of his growing baby. He set the table for three and covered the fresh food so it wouldn't get cold too quickly before taking his own specially prepared plate of food and orange juice (the baby had caused him to picky about his food, and absolutely refused to let him have coffee anymore) into the sitting room to eat alone.

Jongin was the first to step in the sitting room, already looking calm and forgiving as he always was (that was what Sehun loved about him the most), and came to silently exchange apologies with Sehun, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple, which was something that he did every time they had a small disagreement. Sehun wanted to cry because he didn't deserve Jongin's forgiveness, especially with what he was planning to do, but he held it in, returning the kiss instead, hiding his sore eyes with his hair as subtly as he could.

"Come join us in the kitchen, Hunnie," Jongin said, pulling Sehun towards him as he sat down.

"...I shouldn't," Sehun said, rejecting the idea immediately. "Minnie's still angry at me, isn't he?" Jongin's little sigh was all the confirmation Sehun needed, and he felt his heart squeeze tightly. "It's best if I don't, then. I don't want to get into another argument with him. I'll talk to him later and apologise, when he's calm." Sehun shrugged, as if unaffected. "Besides, I've nearly finished my breakfast already."

Jongin nodded understandingly. "Are you okay, though? You didn't come upstairs last night. Actually, don't answer that - I know you, Sehun, and I know you probably spent the entire night crying," he asked, brushing away the stray hairs covering Sehun's face and kissing the spot underneath the man's right eye. "I'm sure Minseok didn't mean what he said to you last night. He was just feeling upset because he wanted to play with Kyungsoo for longer. And I'm sorry about yesterday. I wasn't really angry with you, Hunnie. Just... frustrated. You've been acting differently lately, that's all."

"I know. I am honestly okay now, Nini," Sehun said, smiling as best as he could, despite the feelings in his heart. "I was just fed up from earlier that day. Some customers got me in a really bad mood yesterday, and I just took it out on Kyungsoo-ssi without meaning to," he lied. He didn't even leave the house, choosing to fake an illness instead as he didn't feel like heading to work in a crappy mood.

"Ah. No wonder. You should probably apologise later though," Jongin said sympathetically. He got up, pecking the crown of Sehun's head. "Well, I'm super hungry, so I'll join you later, yeah?"

Sehun made a soft noise as Jongin left, slumping in his seat as the man disappeared into the kitchen. 'He's gone to join his son and husband,' he thought sadly. 'Remember, by the end of the day, they aren't yours anymore, Oh Sehun.' He gazed at his empty plate, tempted to cook some more food for himself and eat his feelings away, but ultimately deciding not to, lest he encounter anymore problems for his already weeping heart.

Instead, Sehun decided to drop his plate off in the sink quickly and go out for a walk alone to get some air and maybe even clear his head. He made his way to the kitchen and was about to step in, when he heard Jongin's laugh as he was about to enter. Sehun moved himself so that he was standing out of sight from the occupants, but still could see inside.

"Honestly, Soo. You haven't changed a bit," Jongin said, swatting the older male's arm playfully. 

Kyungsoo only snorted and leaned against the tanned man's side, beckoning Minseok over. The child obeyed and walked next to his daddy, who then picked him up and placed him in his lap. Tenderly, Kyungsoo fed Minseok some of his food, earning small giggles from the child as some pieces fell down his chin. Next to them, Jongin smiled fondly, flicking a stray hair behind Kyungsoo's ear when the older shook his head to move his fringe out of his eyes. Minseok grinned up at his parents, kissing Kyungsoo's cheek and then Jongin's.

"I wish you could stay, Daddy," Minseok said softly, clinging to Kyungsoo's shirt. "I love you a lot."

Kyungsoo opened his mouth to respond, only for the trio to hear a clatter outside the kitchen door.

"Sehun?" Jongin frowned in concern. "Is that you?"

"I'm fine," came Sehun's muffled voice. "Just dropped something."

Jongin looked in the direction of the door doubtfully, but didn't do anything about it. "Alright. Be careful, Hunnie," he decided to say, going back to the precious scene that was his ex and his son.

Outside and hidden behind the door, Sehun leaned against the wall heavily as his hand shallowly bled from trying to shakily pick up the broken pieces of the shattered plate. His eyes leaked furiously as he muffled his sobs with his other hand, desperately trying not to break down there and then. 

'Minseok loves his parents. His Appa and his Daddy. Not... Not me. Not me. God, he hates me.' Breathing deeply, Sehun's painful thoughts mourned and cried in the way he couldn't out loud. 'I... truly don't belong here.'

Throughout his short stay in Jongin and Minseok's life, he hoped his depressing fears would never come true, but he was wrong. His fears were right; he would never belong to the perfect family he had always dreamed of as a child.

xXx

"Um, Kyungsoo-ssi?" Sehun called out hesitantly.

The plate incident was quickly tidied up by the pregnant male, with the house occupants none the wiser. He had bandaged his hand and then changed into a loose, long-sleeved shirt, hiding his hands and his swelling stomach as he had been doing so for the past few weeks since he had noticeably began to grow, before appearing in front of the small family like he had not witnessed his heart crumble to tiny pieces.

"Sehun?" Kyungsoo responded questioningly, turning to look at the younger.

Sehun glanced at the father and son who were playing in the garden, heart yearning to join them, but knowing he couldn't- no, shouldn't. "I wanted to apologise for last night. For the last month, actually." He sighed, trying not to feel any guiltier than he did. "I haven't exactly been the most welcoming, and what I tried to do yesterday was rude, and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."

Kyungsoo shook his head, smiling warmly. "It's okay, Sehun. I can't say what you did was nice and didn't hurt me a little, but I understand. Really, I do." He looked at Sehun, eyes knowing.

Sehun gnawed at his bottom lip nervously. "You do?"

Kyungsoo nodded. "You're jealous, Sehun. And I get it. I think if I held someone dear to my heart as a son like you clearly do with Minseok, I would be jealous too. And plus, despite what we are now, I still am Jongin's ex-husband, who is your current husband."

"Jongin... Jongin's not my husband," Sehun said quietly. It struck a chord within his heart to hear himself say those words. "Actually, he never officially divorced you."

Kyungsoo's eyes widened even more than they already were. "What?"

"He never signed his divorce papers, so you and him are still legally married," Sehun replied, mildly surprised Jongin hadn't said anything. He thought Jongin would have told the older man already. "It also makes me the male version of his mistress," he added jokingly, only for it to fall flat, as he was unable to hide the break in his words.

Kyungsoo glanced at the pair outside, before looking at Sehun. "Sehun, I didn't know- I'm sorry-" He started to reach out for the male, only for the latter to stand up quickly.

"It's okay, Kyungsoo-ssi. Really. None of it's your fault; it's mine." He gave a fake smile before Kyungsoo could even respond. "I'm sorry, I need to go to the bathroom real quick. Excuse me." Sehun made his way out of the room before Kyungsoo could utter a word, not wanting to hear the other apologise for something that was never his fault.

Kyungsoo never asked to be separated from his husband and his son. He never asked to meet his husband's lover, who was also secretly pregnant with said man's child. He never asked to deal with his husband's lover, who was jealous, selfish, and undeserving. Kyungsoo didn't deserve what life had given to him, just like Sehun didn't deserve to have someone like Jongin or Minseok in his life.

Instead of going to the bathroom, Sehun left a sticky note with a message on the hallway mirror and grabbed a jacket before stepped out of the front door as quietly as he could, needing the fresh air that he had longed for since being trapped in the stifling feeling of love and warmth that he knew wasn't meant for him.

xXx

Sehun arrived home from his walk only a few minutes after Kyungsoo had set off home, and when the last of the stiff and tired goodnights were said, Sehun swiftly made his way to the bathroom, making the excuse of taking a quick shower when really, all he was doing was avoiding the awkward tension of his still-annoyed son and unaware lover.

Sehun stood under the warm spray of the water, his chest tight as he tried to keep the tears at bay, already feeling scared and sad and just so alone. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to lose the only family he had prayed and wished for as a child; a whole, happy family. He didn't want to lose his son, the one person that he adored almost as much as he adored his lover. He didn't want to lose Jongin, the man who made him feel so special and wanted in ways that no other man could.

He didn't want to go, but he also knew it was the right thing to do.

His father left to make another family whole, leaving his life a little empty like it was missing a piece, and while he didn't want to be like him, he knew he was doing it out of love and unselfishness. Jongin and Minseok needed Kyungsoo, the missing part of their family puzzle. Sehun was the part that didn't quite fit, that had that extra curved bit jutting out instead of a straight edge to finish the puzzle. He needed to let go and stop taking the place that belonged to someone else.

When the water had gone cold, Sehun finally stepped out of the shower, leaving his thoughts of hesitance behind. He had to be strong and do the right thing for his family. 

He got dressed as quickly as he could and stepped into his shared bedroom, the lights dimmed down as the household was in a state of peace and quiet, Sehun's shower having gone on for a lot longer than a few minutes. Shoving his clothes into his suitcase in a hurry and pulling it downstairs to the front door, he paused every other minute to make sure no one was awake and gathered his remaining belongings from the sitting room as well. When he was finished, he let out a shaky breath as he prepared himself for his quiet goodbyes. He was a coward for leaving at night and Sehun knew that, but if either Minseok or Jongin were awake, he would be stopped so that he wouldn't be able to do what he needed to do. 

He headed over to Minseok's room first, eyes softening as he watched his grown-up baby sleeping peacefully and hugging the first toy Sehun had ever given him, Pinkeu Pinkeu. 

Sehun kneeled besides Minseok's bed and stroked his child's hair, combing his fingers through Minseok's tangled as he softly began to speak. "Take care of Pinkeu Pinkeu, Minnie. I know I haven't been the greatest papa in the world, and I'm sorry I made you upset; I never did get to apologise for that. Papa never meant to do that, never meant to upset you like that." Sehun sniffled, trying his best not to cry. "Papa will always love you, baby, and I want you to make sure that you always tell your Appa and Daddy that you love them just as much, okay?" Sehun's voice cracked at the last minute, and he hastily wiped his tears away. If he stayed any longer he knew he wouldn't be able to leave, and he still needed to say his last words to his lover, if only one-sided. "Goodnight, and goodbye, my little bun," he said, pressing a gentle kiss against Minseok's forehead. Slowly, Sehun stood up from his kneeling position and left the room, silently shutting the door behind him as he turned to face his bedroom and braced himself for the person he loved unconditionally. 

Slipping into the room again for the last time, Sehun approached the breathing figure lying down on their bed. "...Jongin?" He whispered at the resting body, trying not to tremble as he laid down on the bed as close to Jongin as he dared, without touching him, for the last time. "Jongin, are you awake?"

Jongin didn't move, nor make a sound.

Realising that Jongin was not awake, Sehun finally let out a stifled sob, the pain in his heart too much for him to bear. He opened his mouth to speak, his voice as fragile as thin glass. "Nini, I know you can't hear me right now because you're sleeping, but I need to say something. Something I'm too scared to say to you awake." He swallowed and let out a shaky breath. "I know you love me. But... I can also see that you love Kyungsoo more." A lone tear slid down Sehun's pale cheek as he curled his body up into a ball, facing Jongin like he wanted a warm touch from the sleeping male. "I know that all you've ever wished for was one happy family, and you can have that, but the only thing that's really standing in your way is... me. There would be you, your husband, Kyungsoo, and little Minseok. I... I don't belong in that picture. I get that now," Sehun said sadly, eyes downcast. He curled up a little more, hugging his knees. "I want you to be happy, and I know that while I have been able to do that for you since we've been together, nothing made you more happier than being together with Kyungsoo. I saw it in your past photos and now in reality, and I can't compete with that. I think I always knew that from the start and yet I still tried because I love you so much." 

Sehun's breathing quicken as he tried to hold back his remaining tears, some in vain. They slid down the side of his nose, lashes sticking together as they escaped. "If I was your happiness, then I would fight to stay with you and Minseok, even if he isn't my real son, but I'm not - Kyungsoo is, and I won't fight a battle that's already been won by someone else. Even Minseok loves his real father like he should." Sehun's breath stuttered for a brief moment. "That's why- that's why I have to leave. I'm leaving tonight and taking the first train back to Junmyeon's house, and I'll stay there until I figure some things out. I just needed to say goodbye."

Sehun slowly reached out to grab Jongin's shirt, but thought better of it and pulled his hand back, placing it on his softly swelling belly. "Forgive me, Nini, but I don't want to burden you anymore. That's why I'm going and taking our baby with me. I'll cut all ties with you and Minseok so you both can live happily without regrets. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about our baby, but there was never really a right time after Kyungsoo came back, and I hope you will forgive me for that too, if you ever find out." Sehun sniffled into his sleeve before continuing. "I hope- I hope you live the life you want and deserve, Nini. I'll miss you. I'll call you one last time when I've completely sorted out everything, but until then..." Sehun slowly sat up and leaned in closer, pressing the softest kiss on Jongin's cheek, letting his lips linger for as long as he dared. "I love Minseok, and I love you, Nini. Never forget that."

Sehun slowly got up and wiped away his remaining tears and stepped outside the door of their room, taking one last sorrowful look at the man he so helplessly adored, before shutting it with a soft click.

xXx

"Mm..." Jongin groaned lowly as he felt a heavy weight on chest. "Minnie?" He murmured, moving his hand to rest on his son's head. His eyebrows furrowed in concern as he finally felt the tremor of the child's body. "Minnie? What's wrong?"

Jongin sat up properly to pull his son closer, noticing that the child was crying. Minseok sniffled, turning his teary eyes towards his father. "Papa's gone," he cried.

Jongin's eyes relaxed as heard Minseok's words, not suspecting anything wrong. "Baby, Papa's probably only gone down to the supermarket to get some food. He'll be back soon."

Minseok's frown grew even deeper, more tears falling as he shook his head. "No, Papa's gone! All his stuff is gone!" The child's lower lip shook. "I was looking for Papa's spare t-shirt because I was cold, but then I looked in all the wardrobes and there's nothing in there! And then- and then I found this!" Minseok shoved a crumpled piece of paper into Jongin's hands before he shook at his father's shirt roughly, sobbing hard. "Appa, Papa's really gone!"

Jongin's heart started beating wildly as he listened to his son's sorrowful words and shakily read the words scrawled on the paper.

'I love you both so very much, but it's time I say goodbye. Take care of them, Jongin.'

Jongin trembled and stumbled out of his bed, throwing open the wardrobe doors, with each one belonging to Sehun empty. Jongin's breath stuttered as he rushed downstairs, checking every place and area that Sehun would usually place his things in.

Gone.

Every picture, every note, every drawing, every smile, every laugh, every touch.

Everything was gone.

He should have listened to Kyungsoo when he said that Sehun looked like he was close to falling apart yesterday. God, why was he so stupid?!

Jongin grabbed at the books on the bookshelf and sent it sprawling across the floor in frustration, only for an opened envelope to land onto the fallen books, addressed to Sehun. He pulled out the contents, thinking it would have some clue as to where Sehun could have gone, only for Jongin collapsed to his knees in the sitting room, glancing down at the floorboards in despair.

Inside were medical papers, but the only thing that attracted his attention was a black and white, grainy picture with a date stamped about a week ago, Sehun's name scribbled across the bottom.

An ultrasound photo.

He barely felt small arms wrap around his neck, and he hugged his son close, almost afraid he would disappear too. His own tears fell as he felt Minseok's own tears wet his shirt, but he didn't care. His fingers held tightly onto the picture, the only thing that remained of Sehun.

Sehun was gone. His baby that he hadn't known about was gone.

And he didn't even understand why.

xXx

"Sehun, are you sure about this?" Junmyeon asked as he placed the cup of tea on the kitchen table. "China is a whole new place, you know."

Sehun nodded, watching through the glass doors of Yixing playing with Luhan in the garden, while still being very mindful of his own protruding belly. He had been there for five days now, having told his best friend nothing of the situation, apart from the fact that he didn't want to be in his own home, and instead asked for a place to stay for a few days while he sorted his flight out.

"When is Yixing due again? And what are you going to name him?" He asked, changing the subject.

Junmyeon sighed as he saw the longing in Sehun's eyes. "He's eight months along right now, so some time in December. And Yixing wants to name him again - something about him getting to name our kids since they get my last name. Not that I mind - he lets me choose their middle names." Junmyeon's smile faded as he watched Sehun's expression become one of longing. He sighed. "Sehun, maybe you should go back. I'm sure whatever massive fight you had with Jongin doesn't warrant this; definitely not leaving for another country."

Sehun shook his head. "We didn't have a fight. Jongin doesn't know why I left."

Junmyeon gaped at his friend. "Are you serious? Sehun, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to make sure that Jongin is happy," Sehun replied steadily.

Junmyeon's mouth morphed into a frown. "And what makes you think that Jongin would be happy to see you leave, huh? What makes you think Minseok is happy right now? Do you even realise what you're doing? What about your baby, Sehun?"

"You don't understand, Junmyeon!" Sehun said desperately, sensing the disapproval in his friend's voice. "I have to leave! Jongin... Jongin's happiness isn't me anymore." Sehun's voice tailed off into a whisper.

"What are you talking about?" Junmyeon asked, sitting down across Sehun slowly.

"You remember I told you that an old friend of Jongin's came by to visit about a month ago?" Sehun asked. Junmyeon nodded. "Well, he's been visiting quite frequently since then, and he's not an old friend. He's Jongin's former husband," Sehun continued. "I mean, husband. They're not actually divorced."

Junmyeon's eyes widened. "You mean... that husband?"

"Jongin has only had one husband," Sehun said, almost bitterly. "But yeah, that one." He closed his eyes, willing himself not to cry again. "That's why I need to go, Junmyeon-hyung. He has always loved Kyungsoo, and never stopped, even after I came into his life. I was more of a... distraction."

"Sehun, no, don't say that," Junmyeon denied quickly. "Jongin loves you. Anyone would be blind not to see that."

"I know, hyung. But I also know that Jongin loves Kyungsoo even more than he's ever loved me." Sehun smiled dejectedly. "Jongin doesn't smile at me in the same way he smiles at Kyungsoo. He doesn't hold his hand the same way, or talk the same way. It's more intimate, the way they touch each other, even though it's nothing more than a touch of the shoulder or hand. His voice takes on this softer tone, like he's dealing with someone that means the world to him." Sehun choked on the last word, his eyes filling with tears he tried to fight. "Jongin still loves him. And I... I just want Jongin to be happy. I want him to have the perfect family he's always wanted. I thought I could give him that, but I was so wrong; only Kyungsoo can give him that. I was stupid to even try." Sehun lowered his head as the tears fell.

Junmyeon leaned in closer to hug his best friend, heart hurting in sympathy for him. "Sehun... What about Minseok? What about his happiness?"

Sehun sniffled in Junmyeon's embrace. "He'll be okay. He likes Kyungsoo, even though he's only ever known him through pictures and stories. Besides, the day before I left, he defended Kyungsoo against me when I said that Kyungsoo couldn't stay for the night. He even shouted at me for trying to keep him away from his real papa. Trust me, Minseok will be okay without me," Sehun replied shakily, remembering the incident. He couldn't get the image out of his head, of his little bun screaming at him. It hurt him more than any fight he and Jongin had ever got into.

Junmyeon held Sehun tighter, knowing that the younger needed it. "Oh, Sehun... This isn't the way to solve this." He stroked the male's hair gently. "I can't tell you what to do, Sehun, but I can tell you what I think you should do; go back. Go back and let Jongin love you and your child, because he does love you. No matter how much you think he loves Kyungsoo, he is in the past. You are Jongin's present and future. Jongin chose you when he could have wallowed in his self-pity of losing his husband. Jongin is a man who loves whole-heartedly and I guarantee you, he's crying his eyes out still, wondering what he's done to make you leave. Not to mention Minseok. He's probably heartbroken that his papa is gone."

"But Kyungsoo-" Sehun started.

"'But Kyungsoo' nothing," Junmyeon said firmly, pulling away to grip Sehun's shoulders. "Jongin isn't stupid. He knows that he can't just up and leave for a relationship he doesn't know will hold. Sure, they were perfect for each other back then, but they're different people now, Sehun. It's been six years since they last saw each other. You've known Jongin for the last five years of that. You've been with him as he's changed. You raised Minseok, not Kyungsoo. Jongin wouldn't give that up; he'd be foolish to."

Sehun stayed quiet for a moment before speaking. "Would you still pick Yixing?"

Junmyeon blinked at the sudden question. "What?"

"Would you pick Yixing if Jongdae were still alive?" Sehun elaborated softly. "Like, if he came back while you were still with Yixing, and if Luhan was Jongdae's instead of Yixing's."

Junmyeon smiled at the other. "I would still pick Yixing. Jongdae may have been my first love, and I'll never forget him - may his soul rest in peace - but I also know that Yixing is a great man, and I love him. I could never leave him."

"But you know Yixing. What would he do if say, Jongdae was still alive and came back, knowing the history between you two?" Sehun asked.

Junmyeon sighed, knowing where this was going. "Yixing... He's a sweetheart. A self-sacrificing sweetheart. He knows how much I cherished Jongdae when we were together. He... He would do what you are doing," he admitted softly. "But Sehun, he would also know that, while I cherished Jongdae, I would be lost without him. He knows that I would be hurt, knowing that he doubted my love for him. He would come back, because he would know that I needed him. Just like Jongin needs you."

Sehun shook his head. "Jongin doesn't need me. He lived his life even after Kyungsoo was taken from him because Minseok needed him. Even then, he will have Kyungsoo this time round."

"Sehun, don't do this," Junmyeon begged. "You're going to hurt Jongin and Minseok, as well as yourself."

"They might get hurt, but Kyungsoo will be there to pick up the pieces," Sehun replied, his voice shaky.

"Sehun, please. Stop trying to convince yourself that Jongin will be happy without you, because he won't be... You won't be," Junmyeon pleaded, holding Sehun's hand as the male trembled. "Don't do this; you'll regret it."

"I already do, hyung." Sehun just sobbed, unable to hold back his emotions. He was just so afraid; so lost and confused. He didn't know what to do. "But I can't got back. I can't. Jongin... Jongin will hate me for trying to leave him. He won't understand. And I didn't tell him about the baby yet. He'll be furious when he finds out."

Junmyeon saw the clawing indecision in his friend's eyes and hugged Sehun again, letting the other cry in his arms. "Sehun, Jongin won't hate you. Yes, he won't understand why you tried to leave, and he will probably be angry you didn't tell him about the baby, but he won't hate you. He loves you, Sehun."

Sehun hiccupped as his tears slowly came to halt at Junmyeon's words. "Hyung, what do I do?"

Junmyeon smiled warmly, glad that he had finally got through to his emotional friend. "You're going home."

xXx

"Junmyeon-hyung!" Jongin said desperately into the receiver of his house phone, holding his sleeping son in his arms.

Minseok had fallen asleep after tiring himself out from crying again, apologising because he thought it was his fault for being mean to his papa and asking for him constantly, even in his restless sleep. Jongin was no better; the day Sehun had left, he had called into work and shakily asked for a few days off. It had been five days since then, and Jongin was sitting on his couch in his pyjamas, hair tousled and bedraggled, and eyes puffy and sore from the lack of sleep.

"Hyung, please, you have to help me!" Jongin babbled, watching the sunset with day five drawing to a close, no closer to finding his lover, despite calling his friends, Sehun's friends, colleagues, and even Kyungsoo, to ask if they had seen or heard from Sehun. "Sehun's been gone for five days and I don't know what to do! I need to find him! He's pregnant and possibly alone and I'm terrified he's been hurt-"

Junmyeon shushed the younger gently. "Jongin, don't worry. Sehun's been staying with me."

Jongin visibly calmed down as soon as he heard Junmyeon's words, sagging down into the couch. "Oh thank god. I thought he'd- I thought he had left me for good," Jongin whispered hoarsely.

Junmyeon sighed. "He... He almost did."

Jongin felt his heart stutter. "What? W-why? I don't- I don't understand. We haven't been arguing at all recently- I don't-"

"Jongin, calm down and breathe. I would tell you, but I think Sehun should be the one to say, not me," Junmyeon said, his voice steady and firm. "I'm actually on my way to drop Sehun off right now. You two need to have a long talk before my best friend decides it would be a good idea to take off again."

Jongin nodded furiously, before realising that Junmyeon couldn't see him. "Of course."

"And Jongin, listen to him once you two talk. Don't let your emotions act out, okay? I know you're feeling all sorts of things right now, but Sehun is feeling very insecure and hormonal, and lashing out at him will only make it worse. Anyway, I'll see you in about an hour," Junmyeon said, before hanging up.

Jongin let the corded receiver drop with a dull thud on the floor as he let out a shaky breath, the panic leaving and a different, ugly emotion stirring, but he pushed it down. Whatever reason Sehun had for thinking it was a good idea to leave without saying anything, he would try not to get angry, like Junmyeon said. He would try, he told himself as he caressed his sleeping son's hair. 

He was not prepared to lose Sehun. Not ever.

xXx

When Junmyeon arrived as the sky had gone dark, nothing was said, just a stern look directed at Jongin and a softer one on Sehun, before the elder led Sehun to the sitting room, seating him on the couch with Jongin following them from behind.

"Where's Minseok?" Junmyeon asked quietly.

"He's asleep in my room," Jongin responded. "Junmyeon-" He was cut off by the man dragging him to the corner, where he could be unheard.

"Not now, Jongin. I'll say this again; don't let yourself get angry. I know that you must be feeling really confused and upset about Sehun, and the baby, but getting angry will not help either of you," Junmyeon said, soft enough for Sehun not to hear. "Just ask him. Talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling right now and just be honest with each other."

"Okay," Jongin nodded, forcing himself to breathe deeply. "Okay."

Junmyeon patted Jongin's shoulder. "Please fix this, Jongin. I know you're a good person, and Sehun needs you just as much as you need him. You just need to make him see that." He sent Jongin one last encouraging smile, before hugging Sehun and bidding them goodbye, leaving the two in a tense silence.

The silence reigned for an unsettling amount of minutes, neither sure about how to approach the situation.

Jongin finally decided to make the first move, calling the man's name. "Sehun." Sehun's head was down and refused to look up. "Sehun, we need to talk." He let out a heavy breath and sat next to the male, slowly placing a hand on the raven's knee. "Sehun, please... I need to know why you left." Jongin turned to face Sehun fully, watching the other carefully. "Sehun... Do you even know what you did by leaving? Minseok cried his eyes out in exhaustion because he thought it was his fault and I-" Jongin felt his voice catch in his throat. "I'm just trying to understand what I did. If it's because of Kyungsoo, I'm so, so sorry but I thought that Minseok deserved to know his other father who never meant to abandon him. I swear, Sehun, I didn't do anything more than friendly with him. Kyungsoo and I are not together and will never be again."

A moment of stifling silence passed before Sehun spoke. "You could be," he said quietly, so softly that Jongin almost didn't hear it.

"...What?" Jongin said disbelievingly.

Sehun finally looked up, eyes dull and exhausted. "You and Kyungsoo. You could be."

"Sehun-"

"You and Kyungsoo could be this happy family with Minseok running around in the back garden with your friends laughing and having a good time, for the rest of your lives," Sehun continued, ignoring Jongin's interruption.

"So you think I want to cheat on you and leave you, is that it?" Jongin asked incredulously, and almost a little bitter.

"No, that's not what I-" Sehun sighed and locked gazes with Jongin, who looked confused, unsure and a little mad. "I'm not saying that I think you want to cheat on me. You're not like that. It's just... Your heart can't let go."

"Sehun, I don't understand," Jongin said, furrowing his eyebrows with a questioning look.

"You still love Kyungsoo," Sehun said simply. "You still love him but you're with me."

Realisation dawned on Jongin once the words left Sehun's lips. "Sehun, I really don't love Kyungsoo. Not like that anymore, at least." He curled his fingers around Sehun's hands, holding them firmly.

"Then why do you still have your unsigned divorce papers? Why, after so many years of being with me, did you keep different photos of you and Kyungsoo in your drawer?" Sehun blurted out, startling himself and Jongin. 

There - Sehun had finally asked the questions that always made him wonder how much Jongin truly loved him. The questions he always wanted the answer to, but wasn't sure he would even be able to stomach the words that he was scared would leave Jongin's mouth. "After five years, you couldn't even let go. That hurts more than you could ever know, Jongin." He could feel the overwhelming urge to cry again, tears prickling his eyes as his sight blurred. He felt the grip around his hand tighten further. "Remember the first year of me moving in to live with you and Minseok, and I always dropped hints about getting married? And then I just stopped, right? I always wondered why you never asked me to marry you, but then I found the divorce papers after cleaning out our room properly a few months after moving in. So I stopped trying." He sniffled, wiped his eyes with the back of his other hand. "I guess that's why you never asked. Because you hoped Kyungsoo would come back."

"Sehun..." Jongin gulped, feeling the churning guilt as he watched his lover getting closer to breaking down completely.

"It didn't really bother me at first, you know?" Sehun tried to smile, but it came out as more of a watery grimace. "I mean, it hurt, but then I always remembered that you were still there with me, and not even looking for Kyungsoo." He gasped, finding harder and harder to speak as the words continued to tumble out. "But then he came back, and suddenly I was faced with the reality of losing you. I didn't want Kyungsoo in our lives, to take something that wasn't his, but was mine." He paused, trying to gather himself as much as he could. "But I was wrong. This isn't mine. Everything I have here... It's not mine, and I was stupid enough to think I could take it from someone who is so much better than me. It's why I left, Jongin; I had to let you go because Kyungsoo was the last piece to making your family complete." He made a heart-wrenching sound as he whispered the last words. "But Jongin, everything hurts for me. It just hurts. I love you so much that it hurts to know that whatever you feel for me... is never going to be as much as your love for him, and I can't... I- I don't..."

Letting out a choked sob and hunching down, Sehun let himself cry freely, letting the pain he had been hiding for the past few years go as he wept for the future he wanted but couldn't have. He shuddered as he felt arms pull him closer, embracing him tightly as a head landed on his shoulder. He felt tears soaking his dry shirt, and his own sobs calmed down slightly as he raised his head to see Jongin clinging to his shirt and trembling.

"Jongin... Why are you crying?" Sehun stuttered, his chest still heaving from the emotion outlet.

Jongin looked at Sehun, tears slowly streaming down his smooth face, as he cupped the younger's cheeks with his shaky hands. "Sehun... Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say that all this time, this was how you were feeling?"

Sehun sniffled, leaning into Jongin's touch. "You looked so happy, you know? When Kyungsoo came back, you were practically bouncing. I didn't want to ruin that for you." He let the other hold him, taking whatever comfort he could get at that moment before Jongin would inevitably pushed him away. "Look, I do understand that Minseok deserves to know his dad, I do. But in the past month, I always felt so jealous because I love Minseok to bits, and it was painful to see him cling to someone he had never met before. It didn't help that you were also with Kyungsoo too. When I saw you three together it made me realise how much I didn't belong here." Sehun swallowed and breathed in deeply, trying not to make it any harder to speak. He smiled as best as he could, not wanting to see the man he loved sad. "Jongin, you don't need to cry. You should let me go. You and Minseok could have that family you always wanted."

Jongin shook his head and hugged Sehun closer. "No. I'm not letting you go. I already have the perfect family, Sehun, and it starts with you, Minseok and our baby." He gently placed a hand over Sehun's rounded stomach - making the latter gasp, because that meant Jongin knew - before cupping his face, intently staring into the younger man's sorrowful eyes. He couldn't believe that, in his haste to make things right with Kyungsoo and his son, he had ignored his lover and his feelings for over a month in the process. "I love you, Oh Sehun. Kyungsoo is special to me, but I don't love him anymore, not like that, and I love you so much more than I ever loved him anyway. More than myself. More than Minseok. God, I love you, Oh Sehun, so please don't go." He brushed his thumbs against Sehun's skin, almost like he was afraid the man would disappear. "You are that perfect family, and more than I ever dreamed of, so don't leave us. Don't leave me."

Sehun breathed heavily. "I don't want to," he whispered, leaning closer into Jongin's warm embrace. "But I don't deserve to be here."

"You deserve all of this and more, Sehun," Jongin whispered back. "So stay. Please. I can't do this without you." He gently hauled Sehun onto his lap, hugging the male as close as he could, feeling the slight swell of their child in between them. Right now, all that mattered was showing Sehun how much he really loved him, like he should have continued to do so every day. "I love you, Oh Sehun. I love you so much."

Sehun dropped his head on Jongin's shoulder, letting the words he needed to hear heal his aching heart. He knew that Jongin wasn't lying; it was written in his eyes. "I love you too, Nini."

xXx

Jongin smiled in relief as he held Sehun even closer, relishing in a moment of silence as they both decided to lay down on the couch, Jongin spooning Sehun from the front as he laid nearest the edge. Jongin's hand gently caressed the place where their child grew, feeling the subtle roundness of Sehun's belly.

"You never did answer my question, you know," Sehun said quietly, mumbling the words against Jongin's chest.

"About the divorce papers and the pictures?" Jongin asked. Sehun hummed in confirmation. "Well... The divorce papers were kept because in truth, I did want Kyungsoo to come back." Jongin felt Sehun stiffen in his hold, but he quickly settled his fears. "This was before I met you, Hunnie." He pressed a soft kiss on Sehun's forehead in apology for scaring him. "When I actually began to date you, I sort of forgot I had unsigned papers, until I came across them again around a month after you moved in. Then, I kept them because I want to give Kyungsoo the choice to sign them together because I knew that one day, Kyungsoo would come back; he always did, no matter how often we were separated. I suppose that it was selfish of me to not consider your feelings about it, but you know that whenever I put an idea in my head, I can't ever get it out, so I didn't want to say anything until after it was completed." Jongin sighed. "You know how I told you that Kyungsoo's parents sorted all the divorce settlements out? Well, it never really came true because I refused to sign them, but in their eyes it was good as a real divorce once Kyungsoo's side of the paper was signed. Keeping those papers meant that I gave Kyungsoo the choice to mutually end our marriage on his terms, not his parents, because as far as he knows, his parents divorced us through their own means. I know I owe him that much. His parents have controlled nearly everything in his life up until this point, and I wanted to give him this, at least. To be honest, the only reason I haven't said anything to him yet is because I don't want to spring it up on him when I can't... find the papers." Jongin made an embarrassed face as Sehun began laughing at his sudden confession.

"Are you serious?" Sehun asked, looking up at the older man.

"Seriously," Jongin replied, cheeks a little pink. "I didn't want to ask you because as far as I knew, you didn't know about those papers."

"They're in the attic, in one of the boxes under Minseok's old rocking horse," Sehun said. "We moved all of your magazines and papers into the attic when we were cleaning out our room a few months ago, along with all of Minseok's old toys."

Jongin's eyes widened. "Really? That's great!"

Sehun bit his lip. "It might be too late to surprise him though. I accidentally mentioned it when I apologised to him and ran off the last time he was here." 

"Huh. So that's why he was glaring at me that day."

"And the pictures?"

"Ah. That's all Minseok's idea, really," Jongin answered. He saw the way Sehun's expression fell into one of hurt and sadness. "Hey, don't look like that; you know I hate it when you look upset."

"But Minnie-"

"Minseok loves you, Sehun. He really does. But remember, he's also a child. An honest, naive child who doesn't know that sometimes, his innocent actions can hurt his parents, like ours can hurt him." Jongin stroked Sehun's hair as he continued. "It was Minnie's idea to removed some of the photos in the family album and replaced them of you." Sehun gasped softly in surprise while Jongin grinned. "Of course, there was nowhere safe to put the old photos, so I kept them in my drawer as the pile kept growing. At least half the album is full of you, or us as a family now."

Sehun gasped, remembering something important. "We should bring Minseok down. I don't want him to think I'm angry at him for everything that's happened," he said. He made to get up, only to be pulled down by Jongin.

"We'll wake him tomorrow morning," Jongin said, coaxing Sehun back into their spooning position. "I know that you want to apologise to him, and I'm sure he wants to do the same to you, but he's done nothing but cry for the last few days. He needs some rest before he sees you, I think."

Sehun reluctantly let himself be embraced, still itching to find his son, but knew that Jongin was right. He then groaned into Jongin's shoulder. "Ugh. Because of my stupid misunderstanding, I caused all of this drama and conflict." 

"It wasn't stupid, Sehun. Misunderstanding, yes, but not stupid. I neglected you for over a month - and don't say I didn't, because I know I did - and you jumped to conclusions which could have been avoided if I wasn't so determined to resolve everything with Kyungsoo."

"But we're okay now, right?" Sehun asked.

"We're definitely okay now," Jongin replied. "But I need it make it up to you."

"Huh?" Sehun uttered, a little confused. "Jongin, you don't need to-"

"I do," Jongin insisted. "If I had paid more attention to you instead of trying to build my bridges, I would've known about our new baby so much sooner. I've made you feel like I didn't love you enough, Sehun. I can't let you think that anymore when it's not true."

Sehun smiled fondly as he pressed himself closer to the older male. "Nini, it's not all your fault. I chose not to tell you, to explain how I was feeling. Also, I was pretty mean to Kyungsoo."

"I'll admit that you might need to say more than an apology to make up with Kyungsoo because he definitely didn't deserve to take the brunt of your jealousy, but I think I still need to make it up to you," Jongin said. "First, by getting those divorce papers signed."

"And then?" Sehun added, waiting for Jongin to continue.

"Marry you, of course," Jongin replied, watching as Sehun's eyes widened dramatically. "Not straight away, obviously. We would need to plan everything, but maybe we should get married before the baby's born- Oof!" Jongin found himself under Sehun as the male's lips collided with his, quickly melting into the desperate kiss that just taste of his wonderful, beautiful, Sehun. He was about to press deeper when he tasted the tears falling down Sehun's face in their kiss. He pulled away, tenderly wiping Sehun's face clean. "Oh no, don't cry, Sehun. If this isn't what you want, then we could just-"

"You idiot!" Sehun laughed as he choked on his tears. "I'm not upset. I'm just really happy. Really, really happy," Sehun whispered. He laid his head against Jongin's beating heart, letting it comfort him in ways nothing else could. "I really, really love you."

"I really really love you too," Jongin said, curling a stray strand behind Sehun's hair. "I'm so glad I found you, Sehun. I'm never letting you go again." He smiled at the younger, relishing in the warmth the radiated from his lover, and was instantly reminded of their growing child as well. He had everything he wanted, and he couldn't be any happier.

xXx

A couple of hours passed as they laid there in comfortable silence, waiting for the slow bliss of sleep to take them, when a patter of small feet was heard, followed by soft hiccups.

"Appa?" Minseok called out, sniffling a little.

Jongin sat up and looked over to his son, who couldn't see Sehun as the couch was facing away from the sitting room entrance. "Yes, Minnie?" He patted Sehun to signal for him stay lying down for a bit longer, as to not startle the child. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep. When's Papa coming back?" Minseok asked sadly. "I just want to see Papa again."

Jongin's face softened as he saw the tears gather at Minseok's eyes again. "Oh, Minnie..."

"I-I didn't mean to chase Papa away," Minseok started to sob, rubbing his eyes furiously as the tears streaked his cheeks. "I just want Papa back!"

Jongin instantly made his way over to Minseok and gathered the crying child into his arms. "Minnie... Don't cry, baby, please. Papa's here now." He held the distraught child close, carrying him over to where Sehun had sat up, a worried look on his face as he saw how upset his little boy was.

Minseok gasped and reached out for Sehun the minute he set his eyes on the male, clinging tightly as Sehun wrapped his arms around him. "Papa-!" Minseok stuttered, before bursting into a fresh set of tears, burying his head into Sehun's shirt. "Papa!" Minseok wailed loudly, fists clenching Sehun's shirt as his tears wet the fabric. "I'm sorry, Papa! I'm sorrysorrysorry- I'm sorry I was a bad boy I promise I won't be bad don't leave me again- Papa don't hate me please, Papa-!" Minseok broke into incoherent sobs and he mumbled into Sehun's chest.

Sehun rocked the small child in his lap, feeling his own heart breaking by just looking at his crying son. He had told himself, from the moment he decided that he would adopt Minseok as his son, he would never hurt him, and he had already managed to do it again in less than a week. "Minnie... Look at Papa, sweetheart," Sehun cooed softly. He tilted Minseok's head so that the child was looking at him, eyes wet with tears. "I could never hate my little bun. Papa's sorry he left, but it wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Appa's fault either. Papa just needed some time to realise a few things." He pressed a gentle kiss on Minseok's forehead. "I could never hate you, Minnie. Not ever. I love you so much, baby," Sehun said tenderly, stroking his son's hair in a soothing manner, trying to get the child to calm down to stop the tears.

"I love you too, Papa," Minseok replied, burying his face back into Sehun's chest, as if never wanting to let go.

Jongin sighed in relief as he sat down next to his son and lover, embracing them both tightly and wrapping himself around to cocoon his eight-year-old and unborn child. It only took a few loving moments of warm hugs and 'I love you's to get Minseok to calm down completely, the latter sitting in Sehun's lap whilst leaning against Jongin's arm. 

"Appa said that I'm going to be a big brother like Lulu soon," Minseok mumbled out of nowhere, eyes still red but thankfully dry. "Is it true, Papa?"

Sehun's face formed a smile, taking Minseok's hand into his. "Yes, you're going to be a big brother. Here," he said, placing Minseok's small hand over his rounded belly. "Can you feel it?"

Minseok's eyes widened in awe as he felt the slightest flutter against his palm. "There's a baby in there?"

Sehun nodded, grinning at his son's obvious enthusiasm. "Yep, and soon, he or she will be here in about 6 or 7 months."

"6 or 7? But that's so far away!" Minseok pouted, earning a chuckle from his papa. "And past my birthday too!"

"That's plenty of time for you to start training to become the best big brother in the world though, isn't it?"

Minseok perked up at that, shaking his appa's hand in excitement. "Did you hear that, Appa? I have to start now or else baby won't be proud of me!" He bounded up the stairs without waiting to hear a reply, a wide grin on his face, leaving Jongin to simply gape at Sehun.

"You're 3 months pregnant?" Jongin uttered in shock.

"Well, 10 weeks," Sehun corrected with a smile. However, seeing the crestfallen look on Jongin's face, the raven furrowed his eyebrows in concern. "Jongin?"

"Sehun... You're already 3 months along I didn't even know," Jongin said regretfully.

Sehun sighed and nudged Jongin's arm with his shoulder. "Hey. Don't think about it too much. I never told you, so it's not your fault."

"But you tried to tell me, didn't you?" Jongin said. Sehun didn't bother denying it, knowing the man would see through him. "I guess I really do have a lot of making up to you and our baby Kim, don't I?" Jongin shook his head, a resolute look appearing on his face. "I don't even know where to start."

"Don't worry too much about it and just take your time." Sehun let out an amused huff. "And think of it as a new start; a preparation."

"A preparation? For what?" Jongin raised his eyebrow.

Sehun grinned, glancing down at his hand on his stomach, and then back at Jongin, his eyes sharing the warmth and love he could feel under his fingers. "For our new stage in life."

Jongin's face held a similar smile and gripped Sehun's hand, adoration clear in his eyes. "I'm looking forward to it, with you by my side."

Sehun only smiled in return. He'd never leave again.