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Kim Dokja was a man of many words to say. And like a narrator who constantly moved the story along , Dokja moved through all the events of his life. If he had the choice, he would never go through his tragic life ever again. So instead of facing his own pathetic, insignificant life. He saw his existence through the eyes of another. A man named Yoo Joonghyuk. His reason to live, his companion in life and death. What an awful name one must think- Life and Death.
They saw countless lives and deaths alongside each other, turn after turn after turn. Surely, you must have heard of Yoo Joonghyuk's many regressions his hopping from one worldline to the next. Sure there are 3 ways to survive the apocalypse. But according to me there's a fourth.
15 year old Dokja sat on the train, bandages plastered all over his face and hands. He was frail and weak, a little too small for his ages. He sat alone, a notebook splayed open upon his lap as he grabbed a black coloured marker from his bag and began drawing a monster, humming to himself as he drew. Tentacles for the monster's mouth, sharp, huge, monstrous teeth and eyes that flamed red "I should call this ...an outer god. How terrifying he looks" He gleefully drew people running away from the outer god, little speech bubbles drawn next to their insignificant little heads that screamed and shouted for help. Satisfied with his masterpiece, he put it aside and closed his eyes, preparing himself to take a nap, till he began to hear voices.
"Ahjussi, is this really the end?" A young girl's voice said, "Is the apocalypse truly over?"
Apocalypse. Now where in the world did he hear that word? His eyes snapped open and before he could utter a single word he felt the gaze of a man. 15 year old Kim Dokja never felt the need to have an existential crisis. But here he was, staring and staring and staring as the man who looked like an older version of himself stepped into his periphery. Slightly taller, still ever so thin and painfully emaciated, yet there was a sign of maturity which turned into understanding and then into pure unadulterated rage. 28 year old Kim Dokja was not the best person to be around a younger version of himself. He hated himself, to a point where he thought maybe, just maybe it was time for this immortal to die. He began to draw his sword. The most ancient dream began to sweat, his black hair stuck to his head, chills ran down his spine. He screamed with a pain a 15 year old child was never supposed to know. Yet he knew, only he knew. This has happened before.
Disconnected film theory was a theory that Kim Dokja created when he saw a version of himself for the very first time.
The memories were a blur and then everything, every line, every dot, every memory made by the other Kim Dokja and the 15 year old version of himself would converge and then he would remember. But then every time, he'd pretend, pretend he never saw the memories, pretend he's someone else, pretend he's Yoo Joonghyuk. Just like he always did. When he was bullied, every time he'd go back to speak to his mother, when he was drafted into the army. It was his mantra for life. He was Yoo Joonghyuk,
Till he wasn't. Till the real, buff, strong, overprotective, always scowling Yoo Joonghyuk comes along not knowing that he's taken care of this 15 year old a thousand times before, and he does it anyway over and over again. Till Dokja goes further back in age (like Benjamin Button) and then the godforsaken cycle itself by the death and birth of a baby Kim Dokja.
- The End