Work Text:
"JUST ONE NICE PICTURE, THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING"
checklistgremlin
First, a little bit of explanation:
So one night spreadsheet and I were speculating as to what types of girls Orange and the Color Gang would end up with when the time came for them to go a-courtin'. As matchmaking fictional characters is one of my favorite things to do, I immediately decided to come up with the perfect match for each of them. And then spreadsheet demanded a group family photo with all the girlfriends, and I decided to throw in Chosen and King Orange because, c'mon, they're part of the family too. This picture is also fanart of spreadsheet's fic because in her fic, Purple is a girl and she and Green are dating, which is what I did here. The couples are as follows:
Orange and LIME: Lime is a practical perfectionist who combines a sassy sense of humor with a deeply caring heart. Her and Orange's idea of a perfect date is to go to an art exhibition.
Green and PURPLE: Green and Purple both possess a good deal of FLAIR and are a flamboyant, romantic (and honestly ADORABLE) couple. Their perfect date? Kicking EVERYONE'S butts at a dance competition.
Yellow and CYAN: Cyan's tastes incline towards the academic, and she is primarily a historian and linguist. She and Yellow love to nerd out together about topics as varied as the workings of a steam engine to lemniscate graphs to arguing over what true nobility is (they are VERY adamant about defining terms). They like to go to physics lectures together.
Blue and MINT: Mint is sensitive and shy with a deeply loving personality. She and Blue are just the sweetest sweetie-pies I can't even. Their idea of the perfect night out is to stay in at home with warm blankets and hot drinks and read poetry to each other.
Red and MAGENTA: Magenta always goes by Maggie, because she's the kind of person it's impossible not to nickname. With an upbeat, adventurous personality, she's a hilarious bundle of fun. She and Red love to spontaneously go bungee jumping or something equally crazy for their dates.
CAPTION TIME!!!
checklistgremlin's captions:
Lime: Let's pick a color scheme for the group photo - otherwise, you KNOW Red and Maggie will show up wearing plaid or polka dots or something, and in any case we're naturally super colorful and it'll be really easy for us to clash.
Orange: How about gray, black, and white? You KNOW Chosen will wear black anyway, so we might as well make it look intentional.
Lime: That's...really smart, actually. Let's do that.
Orange: Don't tell Chosen about it, though. Otherwise he'll show up wearing bright colors just as protest against the whole thing.
Chosen: *Walks in, sees that he matches perfectly with everybody else, realizes he's been tricked*: I'VE BEEN BETRAYED.
Lime (to Green and Purple): C'mon, guys, pose nicely for the picture!
Green and Purple: We are posing nicely!
Lime: ...
Lime: Well POSE NORMALLY THEN -
Lime's face: Ok, guys, WE CAN DO THIS!!!
Chosen's face: I literally can't do this.
flowchartgremlin's captions:
Red: Who chose BLACK? We look like we're at a funeral.
Orange *through his teeth*: Smile, Cho.
Red (overhearing): Smile and pretend you like funerals.
Magenta: What?
Red: I'm bored.
Magenta: I know.
Red: We've been sitting here forever.
Red: Did you know I've been giving you bunny ears?
Magenta: Yeah.
Magenta: I'm doing the same thing for you.
Red: I'm so bored!
Red: I can't even think of anything to tease you about.
Magenta: They're taking the picture.
Afterwards, Lime looked at the picture. She wasn't entirely satisfied.
Lime: Orange, I think we have to take the picture again. I don't mind Red and Maggie giving goofing off (besides, they're bunny rabbits at heart) but I found other problems. Yellow and Cyan aren't even smiling! I TOLD them to stop arguing about what an opinion was, but they didn't stop, because they were too busy arguing about what an opinion was.
Yellow and Cyan exchange "whoops" glances.
Yellow and Cyan: Sooooorrrryyyy.
Lime: It's fine. You're fine. Everything is fine. And as for you, Orange, *whispers* you can clearly tell that you're anxiously trying to get Cho to smile.
Orange: Er...at least I'm still smiling. And I got Cho to smile...sort of. Anyway, it would be hard to retake the picture, because Cho's already in the closet. And I think he silenced his phone.
Lime: Darn. Oh man.
At this point, Green entered the room. He looked at the picture, then spoke.
Green: What's up?
Orange: The picture is not satisfactory to a perfectionist such as my lovely girlfriend.
Lime: Aw, thanks.
Orange: We can't retake it, because I don't know which closet Cho is in. We really wanted to have everybody...but you know how hard that is.
Green: Hey...I don't think you have to retake it. I don't think you even SHOULD retake it.
Orange: Why?
Green: It totally captures our essence. Yellow and Cyan aren't smiling, but you can see how much they like arguing about philosophy. And in this picture, we see what a good little brother you are. Your smile is still nice, Orange, and you actually got Cho to move the corner of his mouth two degrees. And look at all the things you can like about it, Lime! The picture shows that Blue and Mint are sweetie pies with hearts of gold, and Purple and me looks super awesome, and Purple has an exquisitely pointed toe, and King Orange's fedora is the best... Years from now, when we're old, we'll look back on this picture. We'll see our old faults and quirks...and we'll say: "Look how far we've come!" Now isn't that nice?
Lime: I guess...I guess it's okay. It's as good as it'll ever be. You guys are the best *sniffles* friends I've ever had. Even...even Cho, but much more so once he gets over his...problems. I...I just love you guys.
Lime: Now I suggest that we split up before this gets too awkward.
Orange: Agreed.
Green: Agreed.
Everyone else proceeded to say: "Agreed."
spreadsheetgremlin's reaction:
AOSDNLSNJGSIUOIJAIJEJNSGVJHIOAIOP)oPONHKJFNFI *V* XD <:D