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"Um, th-thanks…I couldn't really understand when other kids would say it…but you were pretty cool back there…"
Huh?
He was cool? Cheol? He didn't think so. Scary, maybe…definitely. But cool? It just didn't seem like Cheol.
They were standing in between their apartment complexes, the night air cool against their fair skin, but neither wanted to go home just yet. It was only hours earlier that he had rescued Jo-Han, Honggyu and Mi-ae from the frightening seniors. Well, maybe not frightening to him, but definitely to anyone who wasn't freakishly tall. He digressed, before actually acknowledging what the small girl in front of him said.
Flustered, he looked away, trying to hide his gaze behind the rim of his cap. It was rare to receive such a sincere compliment form the girl; he had the right mind to believe she was teasing him.
"Wh-what are you talking about?! Don't say something so weird…" His words came out in a jumbled rush, fingers tugging nervously at his belt loops.
"Um, I really tried not to call you today," Mi-ae pressed on, awkwardly scratching at the back of her head. She too, seemed to be unable to maintain eye contact at that moment. Conversation seemed to flow so seamlessly earlier, Cheol wondered if he had somehow made it awkward by tidying her up. He distantly contemplated if this reminded her of the countryside. For him, the memory was as clear as it was yesterday. Those stupid slides of hers made her trip on the rocky ground. She really wasn't hurt that badly, but he still insisted that he made sure she was alright. But this was silly; why would she remember something as trivial as a memory like that?
"…but I didn't have much of a choice." She looked like she was physically wilting; shoulders drooping and curling in on herself. "Sorry."
Now this really took Cheol by surprise. Because why, in any world, would Mi-ae have to apologize for something that was completely out of her control? Like it was her fault that those seniors were going to hurt her and his friends.
"There's no need to apologize…" He muttered. At this, Mi-ae ginned, her smile looking nearly too large for her face. He was downright perplexed by how quickly her mood could change at the slightest thing. How anyone could act so childish at their age was beyond him. How was she always so upbeat and energetic?
"I'm scared, Cheol…"
"I don't know what to do…so hurry up and get here, alright?"
No. He was wrong; Mi-ae wasn't always upbeat. He could still hear the way her voice trembled in his ear as he listened to the messages she left him in the phone booth. A sick feeling of dread pooled in his gut as he listened to the progressively more concerning fragments of what was going down. He shivered at the cool feeling of trepidation creeping down his spine, the weight of the situation dawning on him in that cramped call box.
Shaking himself from the horrific recollection, Cheol cleared his throat. "Never mind."
But how could he not mind? Mi-ae was a tiny, innocent girl! Hardly bigger than his little sister. How could anyone in their right mind dare to hurt her? A kid!
A sensible part of his mind reminded him that although she acted like it, Mi-ae was not in fact, his 9-year-old sister. She wouldn't have gotten herself into that situation on purpose, she was just trying to look out for Honggyu. In some ways, she was more mature than. Feelings and emotions and…whatnot. She got them a whole lot better than he did.
But that wasn't the point. The point was that - however strong willed and stubborn Mi-ae was - she was still so…vulnerable.
She was small, she could get pushed around, she was light enough to throw over his shoulder. She was oblivious to the world around her most times, and even though she was able to stand up for herself most days at school, situations like today - where Cheol wasn't there to make sure she didn't get into trouble… it frightened him to think of what would've happened if he didn't get to the arcade when he did.
He didn't even realize he was clenching his fists so tightly until his nails were nearly piercing his skin. The dull pain grounded him from his internal raging enough to acknowledge Mi-ae apprehensive gaze, studying him with concern.
"Are your mother and father home?" He asked eventually, shifting his weight from foot to foot to appear as though he had definitely not been menacingly brooding in the middle of their conversation. Instantly, Mi-ae's posture relaxed, the concerned furrow in her brow smoothing and her shoulders falling slack.
"Nah, dad had a work dinner, mom was invited, so I should still have a couple of hours until she's gonna whoop my butt." At saying this, she flinched, reminding herself of her approaching doom. "What's it to ya, anyway? Gonna complain to her about me as well? It really wasn't my fault…"
"What? No! I'm not-" Cheol defended himself, offended that complaining about her was the first conclusion she came to. "I was gonna say, well, I mean- if it's just you at home…"
The thought of the small girl sitting in her apartment all alone didn't sit right with Cheol. He would much prefer if he could see her in front of him, at least for now.
"You could, y'know, come up, if you wanted," Cheol mumbled, gesturing vaguely to his own apartment complex, "Just until your parents get home."
He nearly regretted the offer, watching the surprise on Mi-ae's face melt into delight. He definitely regretted it when Mi-ae leapt on him, attempting to wrap her arms around his vast frame and failing miserably.
"What are you doing?! Get off!"
"I'm expressing my gratitude!"
"Can you express it elsewhere? Let go! You're like a squirrel."
Mi-ae gasped in offence but refused to let go. If anything, she clung on tighter, giggling with - in Cheol's opinion - too much childish delight as he swung her around, fruitlessly trying to release her tight grip.
"You either let go, or you're not coming in."
The effect was instantaneous. Mi-ae relented her grasp immediately, stumbling to her feet. She had obviously had enough of pushing her luck that night.
"You finished expressing your gratitude?" He asked dryly, eye the girl with a skeptical glare as he kicked up his bike stand. In response, she poked her tongue out at him, before huffing and pivoting her head away. Good enough.
"Come on; it's getting cold."
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"Cheol Kim. You have a lot of nerve to get home this late knowing we got a call from the Academy!"
"I mean, skipping all your lessons?! You're lucky we're even letting you in!"
"Oooh, Cheol's in trouble!"
"Finish your dinner, Sunjeong!"
"Why are we yelling at big bro?"
Cheol's mother and father were waiting at the door when he opened it, arms crossed and the threat of punishment clear in their eyes. He was expecting the onslaught of scolding, but having Mi-ae hiding behind him - listening to it all - really didn't do anything for his ego.
"Well? What are you waiting for? Come inside right now!"
Reluctantly, Cheol stepped forward, crossing the threshold. Hopefully, he could use Mi-ae as a shield from any really lecturing until at least tomorrow. He did feel a little bad about it, but with the amount of trouble she got him in already, it was the least he thought she could do. As if on cue, Mi-ae poked her head in past the door frame, gingerly waving at his parents.
"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Kim!"
"Mi-ae, dear? What are you doing outside?" His Mom startled, before ushering her in after Cheol. "Come in, it's cold out."
Typical.
"Now, I'm assuming you both have a lot of explaining to do." His father, queried, hands on his hips and staring at the two with a critical glare. Mi-ae seemed to shrink, shuffling subtly behind Cheol. He sighed but didn't say anything, to her at least.
"Mom, Dad, I'm sorr-"
"Cheol saved me!"
Huh? Cheol thought, for the second time that night. Glancing down, he saw Mi-ae peeking out from behind his back, one hand nervously tugging at her hair, while the other fisted the back of his shirt. She took a deep breath, before squaring her shoulders.
"Cheol saved me," She repeated, her voice a little louder, stronger as she stepped out from her shelter behind his hulking figure. "And Jo Han, and Honggyu. Some highschoolers were gonna beat up monkey ea- I mean, Honggyu, but me and Jo Han ran into him on the way to academy before they could do anything."
It wasn't the entire truth, he noticed as Mi-ae left out the fact that they had been hanging around the shops for a solid hour before hand. Nor had she mentioned the fact that they knew about the attack before they 'rescued' Honggyu from the highschoolers. But he supposed a couple white lies couldn't hurt.
"We tried to run away, but they caught up to us. If Cheol hadn't scared them off, something…really bad could've happened."
Her voice tapered out near the end, and she seemed to return to her subdued manner from early. Cheol realized bitterly that he didn't like that. The dejected look on t Mi-ae didn't suit her at all. Someone as bright as her should never have to feel that way.
"Cheol? Is this true?" His mom spoke up, still suspicious, but softer than earlier. It seemed than a downcast Mi-ae had an effect on everyone, not just him.
"I, um, yeah. She had left me a few messages on my pager, and when I checked them, I uh, got worried, so I…left, t-to go see what was wrong and…well, I'm glad I did."
A silence fell over the apartment, and Cheol had the overwhelming urge to bolt back out into the stairwell. His parents exchanged an elongated glance, communicating in the weird way that parents did. Eventually they looked back to the two teenagers before his dad cleared his throat.
"Well, Mi-ae, do your parents know that you're over here right now?"
No scolding. Definitely an improvement.
"Ah, n-no Mr. Kim. They're out for one dad's work dinner. But I'm pretty sure they got the call."
That was followed by another awkward silence while his mom and dad telepathically communicated. This time, his mom spoke up.
"Well, I'll leave them a message to let them know you are over here. How about you two get washed up and I'll reheat some food, okay?"
Cheol, startled into silence, merely nodded before kicking off his shoes and wandering towards the bathroom. Mi-ae - who had yet to relent her hold on his shirt - trail absently behind him. They washed their hands wordlessly, before re-emerging into the living area.
Waiting at the table were two bowls of rice and an array of side dishes. Mi-ae politely thanked his mom for the food, before eating silently. Seunghwa watched them both with an indecipherable look on her face,
eyes darting between the two. After coming to some mental conclusion, she nodded to herself once, before disappearing into the living room. If Cheol wasn't so exhausted, physically, mentally or emotionally (The Holy Trinity, he thought wryly) he maybe would have questioned it. Instead, he chose to collect Mi-ae's plate and his own and start washing up.
"You don't have to do that, Cheol. I can wash my own dishes." He knew she was pouting, even with his back turned to her. He could hear it in her voice.
"You seriously want to wash your own dishes?" Cheol scoffed doubtfully. "Who are you, and what have you done with Mi-ae?"
He repressed a smile at the sound of incoherent grumbling.
"Fine, I'm going to your room then."
"Sure," Cheol rolled his eyes at her antics, putting a bowl inside the dish drainer. Then her words caught up with him. "Wait, what? H-hold on."
"Can't hear you! Currently on my way to snoop in your room."
And so, the dishes were abandoned as Cheol left in haste to catch up to the meddling girl.
"You got something to hide or what?" Mi-ae teased, peering into one of his desk drawers. "Dirt magazines maybe?"
"What? No! Has it ever dawned on you that maybe I just don't want you looking around my personal space?" He trailed in after her, snapping the drawer shut. Geez, was it physically impossible for her to mind her own business? "I wouldn't be surprised if a perv like you did though."
"For the last time, I wasn't trying to watch you change!" She whisper-shrieked, eyes frantically darting to the bedroom door, still open wide enough for someone to hear past if they were listening in. Sighing, the spiteful girl flopped back into his desk seat, an accusatory finger already pointing in Cheol's direction.
"You were the one putting on the strip show. Plus, what about that time at the water taps, huh?!"
"I wasn't- you! I'd didn't mean to, ugh. Just," Cheol groaned, falling back onto his mattress with a large whump! Glaring at the girl who was grinning widely, he conceded. "Whatever. Neither of us a pervs, happy?"
Based on the triumphant huff he heard, he assumed it was as close as he was gonna get to a ceasefire. Honest to god though, he had zero intention at looking at her…anyway, it really had just been an inconvenient result of their water fight. Deep down, he knew Mi-ae probably wasn't waiting out to watch him change that night, going off the way her face morphed from shock to horror as she realized how unfortunate the timing was. Whatever the real reason was that she was leaning out to window for - which she still refused to tell him why - he knew it wasn't to be a perv.
As if she'd look at you, anyway, his brain supplied unhelpfully. Thanks, brain.
Shaking himself from his thoughts, He sat up from his lounging position, eyes falling on the girl dwarfed in the desk chair she was perched on. Mi-ae's body was facing his general direction, although her gaze was fixed on the night sky outside his window. She herself, seemed deep in thought, a rare occurrence. He smiled softly, thinking of the girl's normal restless attitude. Always singing to herself, feet tapping on her school desk legs. When she wasn't screaming and leaping at him, he realized he quite liked her presence. Oddly enough, it calmed him. His eyes drifted to the arms wrapped around her knee, hugging he leg to her chest. Her fingers trembled, by a fraction of a millimeter, but still enough to see, accompanied by a light shiver running up her body.
"You're cold." It wasn't so much a question as a statement. Mi-ae snapped her head around, looking to the now standing boy with regained attention.
"Who, me? Pssh, you're seeing things. Did you hit your head when roughing up those bullies or something?" Mi-ae teased, waving the boy off with an airy hand. Unconvinced, Cheol shuffled over to where he stuffed his warm clothes, ignoring his tired knees protest. Wordlessly, he offered out a hoodie in her direction. It was his favourite; plain and grey, but warm and soft, almost ridiculously so.
Mi-ae blinked at the item of clothing being shoved into her face, looking at it before staring at him questionably, as if it was a joke of some sort. He just blinked back, unyielding dark eyes staring unwaveringly into pale apple green. Hesitantly, the girl stood up from her place on the chair, small hands reaching up to take the hoodie from his grasp and unfolding it gently, before tugging the grey material over her head.
Mi-ae was swimming in the garment; the hoodie's waistband nearly meeting the hem of her plaid skirt, which hung comfortably around her knees. Cheol almost laughed but decided against it. She looked ridiculous, but adorably so. No, wait, hold on. Not adorable. Cheol did not think Mi-ae looked adorable - cute, maybe - actually, was that even better?
What is this kid doing to me? It was at this point, that Cheol's brain had no witty response this time, remaining unhelpfully silent.
He digressed, because at that time, there was something else nagging at the back of his head.
The girl seemed…off. Despite the warmth of the grey material almost instantly melting into her, he could still see the slight tremble in her shoulders, the way her eyes never quite met his. She had been somewhat distant all night, even at the quite frankly sorry excuse for a birthday party on the academy rooftop.
"Are you…okay?" his voice was low, quiet, afraid he might startle her. He dismissed the similarity to the way one might approach a feral animal, because she wasn't one. She was Mi-ae. She was sunlight and fresh air in a suffocating world. And right now, he didn't think Mi-ae was feeling either of those things.
"Never better." Her eyes - still refusing to meet his - looked placidly around the room. Was this about something he did? He didn't remember doing anything out of their normal, other than maybe the bike ride. But that was hours ago, and she already seemed off then. If anything, Cheol had been extra patient with her today. He couldn't be the problem. No, this was about the bullies, and Honggyu and Jo Han. About the way she was yanked around like a rag doll, threats no doubt whispered in her ear. He didn't see much when he was sprinting towards them, red near blinding his vision, but he did see the way they towered over her, shoving her around with the rest of friends. Honggyu, Jo Han. The memory alone made his blood boil, burning violently in his veins. He had the right mind to go out searching for them; teach them a lesson for what they did to his friends, to her.
But as angry as he was, it wasn't him. He didn't like hurting people. Tae-uk was…different. He had grown sick of the constant taunting, and hurting Honggyu had been the straw that broke the camel's back. His friends knew that. Mi-ae knew that. Which is exactly why she would hate if he went off and did something like that. So no, he wouldn't go rough up some highschoolers. He would have to improvise.
"You made the right decision calling me, earlier. I'm sorry I didn't get to the messages sooner. That being said…" Compliments didn't come easy to Cheol. It often took a lot of building up for him to even think of anything to say, let alone say it. But now, his words flowed freely, because they weren't forced, because they were true. "You were really brave today, Mi-ae, you know that?"
Mi-ae paused at this, slowly, finally looking up to meet Cheol's gaze, searching for any lies behind his words. There were none. Still, she looked away, dejected and morose.
"I didn't feel very brave. I…" Her voice caught, her already quiet words breaking off. She took a deep breath, and the next time she spoke, her lips trembled. "I was really scared, y'know?"
Cheol had never suffered a heartbreak before, but as tears beaded in the corner of Mi-ae's eyes and he felt his own chest ache, he hoped he never had to. Because if this - this devastation and yearning and hurt - was even a fraction of the feeling of having his heart broken, he wasn't sure he would survive anything more.
"A--and I know that I shouldn't have gone b--but I mean Honggyu was going to-- I just, I shouldn't have gone where you told me not to!" Mi-ae rambled, her breath shaky as fat tear welled in her wide green eyes, threatening to fall. "…and then we got caught anyway and I thought that they were gonna--I was so scared--"
He wasn't sure who initiated what happened next, but then Mi-ae was in his arms, nearly entirely enveloped by his mountainous frame, and she was close, and so warm and so small and safe. The small girl shook in his hold, the telltale sign of heavy sobs as she buried her face into his chest, hands grasping tightly at the fabric of his shirt.
He remembered when he comforted his big sister when her boyfriends would break up with her. Or when Hwani had fell and scrapped her arm. He wasn't any therapist, but he would try to talk to them, to comfort them, and tell them that they were going to be okay.
Cheol didn't know what he could say to make Mi-ae feel better. Sometimes things were a little more difficult than some asshole teenage boy or a scratch on the elbow, but he knew he could do something, and he was tired of acting like he didn't care as much as he did.
Because the truth is that he cared a great deal more than he should. He didn't know what to call it, and he refused to label it as the thing he most definitely knew it could be. But even if he rejected what he knew it was, he couldn't stop himself from showing it.
Gently, as to not disturb the small girl from her shaky cries, he scooped her into his arms, backtracking until the back of his knee's hit his mattress. Lowering himself carefully, he scooted along the bed until his back pressed into the wall. Mi-ae did not halt her tears as the boy awkwardly re-arranged the girl in his lap, gripping him just as tightly while he moved her arms, so they wrapped around his neck. Slinging the girl sideways across his lap, Cheol let a hand snake around her to draw absent circles on her back, whilst his other hand wandered to the back of Mi-ae head, soothingly run through her raven hair as she furrowed her wet face into the crook of his neck.
At any other given time, a situation even remotely close to this would have him flushing up to his neck, furiously red and angrily stammering like a fool. But this was no time to be concerned about how intimate something was. He wasn't thinking about how improper this was, or the fact that they had been far further apart when they had accidently kissed. How could he? His friend was hurting. She was scared and tired, and Cheol was too. So, there he sat, for god knows how long, tenderly rocking the fragile soul side to side, occasionally whispering to her.
"You're okay."
"You were brave."
"Thank you for being strong while I wasn't there."
And most importantly:
"I'll make sure they won't do that again. I'll protect you."
Because he would. He promised himself, on the stars, and on the planes that Mi-ae counted on to grant her a wish, that he would look after this girl; regardless of how either of them felt, if he was mad at her, or if one of them was sad. If one day he told her how he felt and it wasn't returned, he wouldn't stop being there for her.
She wouldn't either. A part of him told him that he was being presumptuous; that he shouldn't hope too hard, or count on her to feel the same way. But Mi-ae had never once - in all of his time knowing her - given up on something. And with the length she went to, to be his friend - even after he pushed her away, again and again - he didn't think she'd be leaving too soon.
Eventually, her tears subsided into small sniffles, and she lifted her head slightly to rub at her nose. Without even thinking about it, Cheol withdrew the hand from the back of her head to brush away the lingering tears on her cheeks, even the snot that had run from her nose. Mi-ae blushed, but it blended in with her red, tear-stained face, so he chose to ignore it. Now was not the time to hope.
"Are you tired?" The scarred boy asked, still fussing over the girl's face. He knew for a fact that she was, her tired eyes appearing heavier and heavier as the moments passed.
In response, she nodded wordlessly, half-heartedly batting his wide hands away from her bangs as he tried to brush them out of her eyes. The corner of his lip pulled, amused by her drowsy efforts. Silently, Cheol slipped out from beneath Mi-ae, carefully lying her out on his mattress as he stood. He winced internally at the twinge in his back as he straightened out, and wondered when his body started converting to the condition of a seventy-year-old man.
"Where are you going?" Mi-ae's hoarse voice asked, brow furrowed with worry while her fists nervously clenched around the too-long sleeves of his hoodie.
"I was gonna let you sleep in my bed, if that's something you're not…opposed to." Cheol said plainly, his words ending with an uncertain lilt in his tone. He was tired himself, but he was more than willing to let Mi-ae sleep in his bed if it would help her feel better.
You would do anything to make her feel better, his brain reminded him. He couldn't argue with that. Besides, he could maybe have a nap on the couch if his sister turned the TV down from its unnecessarily loud volume.
When the girl didn't respond, he took it as his cue to leave and began to turn. But before he could even step away from the bed side, a small hand snagged on his own hand hanging at his side, tugging him back.
"Cheol-ah, stay," her voice was quiet, and when he turned back to look at her, the girl's head was tilted away; bangs hiding her eyes. "Please." She added.
He blinked once. Then twice.
"Yeah," He breathed, voice hardly louder than a whisper. "Yeah, of course."
Hesitantly, he sat back down on the edge of the bed, unsure of whether "staying" involved him being in bed with her or sent off to sit in his desk chair like a guard dog. When she made no objections, he laid out, balancing awkwardly on the very edge of them bed. He looked to the girl, uncertainty clear in his body language - but before he could even ask if this was okay - Mi-ae rolled her eyes, tugging him further onto the mattress with their still connected hands until he was facing her on his side. With confidence Cheol didn't think anyone should have when sharing a bed with their estranged and recently reunited childhood friend, the girl shuffled impossibly closer to him, tucking her head under his chin, absentmindedly tangling her legs between his.
This time he allowed himself to blush, if only a little bit. This girl…he sighed. Cheol really did think that he should have thought about this, just a little bit more before agreeing to stay. But then again, when had he ever acted rationally when it came to Mi-ae? He was tired and she was warm and he needed to hold her close and know she was there and there really wasn't anything more he could do about the matter.
Relenting, he let an arm settle loosely over her waist, while the other slide up to curl around a shared pillow. By no means was it the most comfortable position he had slept in, but with the undoubtable presence of Mi-ae nestled up to his front - a solid reminder that she was here and she was whole and she was safe - provided ten times more alleviation than an extra blanket could ever offer.
"Cheol-ah?" the small girl whispered, her breath ghosting along his neck and sending shivers down his spine.
"What?"
"…thank you."
Cheol thought of a thousand things to say; 'you're welcome', 'you never have to thank me', 'I know'. Really, he could have said anything, but he didn't. Instead, he chose to hold her just that little bit closer.
"Go to sleep."
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"Thank you again so much for watching her until we got back."
"The brat should've gone home the moment she was let out of academy, but we appreciate care."
Mr. and Mrs. Hwang stood in the living room of the Kim apartment, Mr. Hwang looking as stressed as ever, and Mrs. Hwang wearing a scowl that would put the fear of God into most children, even some adults. It was late, around 11. Mr. and Mrs. Kim stood nervously across from the other couple, slightly concerned for young Mi-ae's outcome in all of this. They had explained what the young girl and boy had told them upon their arrival to the apartment. Mrs. Hwang was quick to suggest the young girl was lying, as Mi-ae often did fib in order to get out of trouble. However, this was quickly shot down by Mrs. Kim, who insisted the girl seemed genuinely distraught by the events that occurred.
"Oh, it's not a problem. Mi-ae's such a delight, truly. She's been so kind being friends with Cheol even after all this time." Mrs. Kim waved off, a tender smile donning her face. Mrs. Hwang appeared skeptical.
"…are you sure we are talking about the same child here?"
"A-anyway, dear," Mr. Kim intercepted, eager to avoid any conflict from his wound up wife. "…we really should be getting her home now."
"Yeah, sure. They're in Cheol's room; I'll go get them." Mr. Kim grinned, striding across the apartment, before peeking his head in past Cheol's bedroom door.
"Mi-ae, your mom and dad are back, it's time to…"
A pause.
"Seunghwa, darl, quick. Get me my camera!"
"W-why? Is something wrong?"
"Quickly! I need as many embarrassing photos for the wedding as possible. And this one'll take the cake!"