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Kyouka Izumi had always been a quiet, reserved girl, her emotions carefully tucked away like the sharp edge of a knife hidden beneath a well-worn cloth. The Port Mafia had taken so much from her—her innocence, her childhood, and any chance at a normal life. Yet, despite everything, she had found herself in a place she never expected: surrounded by people who cared for her, who helped her heal, even if she didn’t quite understand how or why they did.
Atsushi was one of those people. He had always treated her kindly, with warmth and understanding that made her feel human again, something she hadn’t been able to grasp for years. The way he spoke to her, the way he acted around her—it was almost too much. She had spent so many years locked in darkness, and now this boy, this soft-hearted, gentle soul, had brought her a flicker of light.
Kyouka didn't know when it happened, when the admiration turned into something more. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when her heart started to beat faster whenever Atsushi smiled at her, or when her chest would tighten when he was near. It was unsettling. Her thoughts, once sharp and focused on the mission, began to wander towards him. And that thought scared her.
She had never allowed herself to feel like this, not after all she had been through. Emotions were dangerous. They were the very things that made people weak, vulnerable. To love someone—to want someone—was a luxury she couldn’t afford. She had a purpose, a duty. And Atsushi, though kind, wasn’t part of that duty. He didn’t understand what it was like, to be used by people, to be forced into the life she had lived. Kyouka had her walls built high, her defences so thick, and yet, somehow, Atsushi had breached them all.
No, she thought, I can't let myself feel this way. I can't let myself be greedy.
Her guilt grew, like a poison spreading through her veins, until she couldn't breathe properly. Kyouka sat in the corner of the room, her head buried in her hands, as though by doing so she could push the feelings away. But no matter how much she tried, they clung to her like a shadow she couldn’t shake.
Yosano, who had observed her from the moment Kyouka joined the Armed Detective Agency, could see it in her eyes—the way Kyouka seemed to draw further into herself with each passing day. The older woman, always perceptive to the emotional turmoil of others, approached Kyouka one evening after the others had gone to rest.
"Kyouka," Yosano’s voice was soft, a contrast to the usual playful energy she carried. "You've been acting strange lately. What's on your mind?"
Kyouka glanced up, her dark eyes momentarily meeting Yosano’s. She felt a warmth spread across her cheeks, a flush of guilt and embarrassment. Yosano, always able to read people like an open book, seemed to understand immediately.
"Is it Atsushi?" Yosano asked gently, her voice barely above a whisper, but her words sliced through Kyouka’s defenses like a blade.
Kyouka froze, her heart stuttering in her chest. She hadn’t meant for anyone to notice, but Yosano was too perceptive, too sharp to miss the subtle way Kyouka’s gaze often lingered on Atsushi or the way her demeanor shifted when he was nearby.
"I... I can’t," Kyouka whispered, her voice trembling slightly. "I can’t feel like this. I shouldn’t. It’s wrong." Her voice cracked as the weight of her guilt finally broke through the surface.
Yosano knelt down in front of Kyouka, her expression one of understanding and quiet empathy. She placed a hand on Kyouka's shoulder, a warm and comforting gesture.
"Why is it wrong?" Yosano asked, her voice soft but insistent. "Why shouldn’t you allow yourself to feel something? You deserve love, Kyouka. You’ve been through so much, and you’ve fought so hard to get to where you are now. It's okay to want affection. It's okay to want someone to care for you."
"But I don’t deserve it," Kyouka replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "I’ve hurt so many people, done so many awful things. I don’t deserve to be loved." She clenched her fists in her lap, the pain of her past suffocating her.
Yosano chuckled softly, a sound that was both knowing and tender. "Everyone has a past, Kyouka. Even Atsushi has his own demons. But he’s different, isn’t he? He doesn’t judge you. He doesn’t look at your past. He sees you for who you are now."
Kyouka's heart clenched, the words resonating deep within her. Did Atsushi see her? Really see her? Or was he just too kind-hearted to notice the darkness that she still carried inside?
Yosano’s hand squeezed Kyouka’s shoulder reassuringly. "You’re not greedy for wanting love, Kyouka. Love is not something that belongs to others, it’s something that everyone deserves. You have as much right to it as anyone else. You don’t have to push those feelings away. You don’t have to feel guilty for caring about someone."
"But what if I hurt him?" Kyouka whispered, her eyes filled with fear. "What if I make him feel the same pain I’ve always felt?"
Yosano shook her head, her expression softening. "Atsushi is stronger than you think. He’s already caring for you in his own way. He’s not afraid of your past, Kyouka. If you let him, he’ll help you heal. But first, you have to believe that you’re worthy of his affection. You have to believe that you deserve happiness."
Kyouka looked down at her hands, her mind swirling with conflicting thoughts. Could she really do this? Could she let go of her guilt and accept what she felt for Atsushi?
She didn’t know. But Yosano’s words lingered in her mind like a gentle lullaby.
The next day, Kyouka found herself standing in the hallway as Atsushi walked past, his kind smile lighting up his face. He greeted her casually, but for some reason, today felt different. Kyouka could feel her heart racing, the same sense of longing flooding through her chest.
But this time, she didn’t look away. She didn’t shrink back in guilt or fear. She allowed herself to look at him, really look at him, and for the first time, she didn’t feel wrong for wanting to be close to him.
"I’m... sorry," Kyouka said softly, her voice more steady than she expected. "For acting so distant lately. I just..." She hesitated, then took a breath, lifting her head. "I guess I was just afraid."
Atsushi paused, tilting his head in curiosity. "Afraid of what?"
"Afraid that I might be... greedy," Kyouka admitted, the words tasting foreign on her tongue. "Afraid that I might want something I can’t have."
Atsushi smiled gently. "Kyouka, it's okay to want things. You don’t have to hide your feelings. I’m here for you, no matter what."
For the first time in a long while, Kyouka felt something stir in her chest, something warm and pure. She smiled back at him, feeling the weight of her guilt lift just a little. Maybe, just maybe, she could allow herself to feel this way after all.
She wasn’t greedy for his love.
She was simply human.