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I cant take the feeling. Its overwelming. It feels like i cant breath. Id give up if I could. But i cant. They are counting on me. So i put my façade. Pretend that everything is ok. They dont know i cry so very hard at night. I think all this in the common area. Sitting infront of the fire. Someone comes over asks if Im ok. I look up to see the scar. I smile widely saying yeah just lost in thought. You laugh. It sounds of more like relief then normal laughing. You ask about potions homework. I say just leave what you have Ill fix it. You call me a life saver and say goodnight and off to bed you go. I curl up next to the fire like I was before scar came. I look down at my hands. I blink. I grab the essay and start checking it. Blank. Im on auto pilot. My mind goes blank. My inner turmoil shut up. It is bliss. Not thinking about everything. Not about my parents who haven answered my owls in months. Not about Malfoy calling me filthy. Not about everyones oh-so-high expectations of me. Not of the scars on my arms and legs. Nothing.
My mind is blissfully blank