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By some miracle, they managed to make it through the day. Faced with the emotional turmoil of the past weeks, as well as the physical threat of Suga’s new rider system, then gaining the frappe form thanks to Shouma…
Hanto was ready to sleep for a week, if not a month. He was still in pretty rough shape, unlike Sachika, who was busying herself around the Hapipare house, and Shouma who typically healed fast.
That other granute, Lakia, was probably also hanging around, but Hanto didn't have the energy to focus on him more than that.
In doing her best to help with the non-’fighting evil bad guys’ stuff, Sachika handed band-aids and cream to Shouma to help patch Hanto up. She could’ve done it all herself, but in his infinite compassion, Shouma asked her to explain more about how to take care of injuries so he’d know for the future.
Not that they didn't already have lots of experience bandaging their wounds, but it helped give Shouma more context. Going through possible scenarios, Sachika explained different first aid basics, like the purpose of holding down on bleeding wounds. When Sachika used Hanto's body as an example, he tried not to think of himself being a test subject in a worse context.
Thankfully, he wasn't hurt as badly as the time Shouma dragged him back on his own.
“And one last thing,” Sachika said, grabbing a pill bottle to end her crash course in ‘First Aid for Dummies’. “Pain relief. Here, Hanty, take some pills.”
“It isn't even that bad,” Hanto grumbled, a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment at having so much attention on him after the last few weeks of estrangement. He still took the pills, and the glass of water that Shouma handed to him. After everything, Hanto found it difficult to look in Shouma's face for too long, and avoiding his gaze, he gulped down the water.
“Are you sure? I thought you hit your head pretty hard,” Sachika commented, walking away to start gathering her things. It was getting close to midnight.
“When? I don't think it was anything more than the usual.” A lot happened in fights, and it'd only stand out to him if he was knocked out cold or something.
“I mean, it's really the only explanation for why you trusted that crazy evil scientist guy, and avoided us–”
“Okay, okay, I get it,” Hanto groaned, leaning back against the pillow. He couldn't help noticing that Shouma was mostly silent, but at least he was still there at Hanto’s bedside. Really, it was Shouma's bed. He'd have to get up soon.
“You more than learned your lesson, but I mean it. Don't you–” Sachika glowered, her normally positive demeanor all twisted up at him as she crossed her arms. “Ever think you can't rely on me, or Delisho, and turn to some shady people again. Even if the situation is complicated, or we're in the middle of a fight or something, you aren't alone.”
Her voice wobbled a bit at the end, and Hanto accepted the twist of the knife in his heart just a bit more. It's what he deserved for the price of knowing how much they cared.
“Yeah, definitely learned my lesson,” Hanto said, huffing a joyless laugh. “Thank you. I won't… I'll try not to go off like that, again.”
Smiling, Sachika looked very pleased knowing she'd won.
“You won't. It's a promise, so I won't drag you anymore tonight. I’ll be back in the morning. You two rest and behave,” Sachika leveled a look at both of them. After an affirmative from Shouma, and more grumbling from Hanto, she left for the night. In doing so, she didn't fail to push Lakia out the door with her.
Then it was just them. No pressing fights with evil scientists or monsters. No Sachika to fill the room with her near boundless energy. No Lakia giving Hanto a judgmental stare he was pretending not to notice. Just the quiet air of midnight and the weight of their unspoken thoughts. Though they had cleared up a lot between them and were more or less okay, it was still… a lot.
Hanto dared to look into Shouma's face, and it seemed like Shouma had the same thought. With their eyes locked, they were almost frozen, but then Shouma averted his gaze.
“I should… go lay down too, and let you sleep.”
As complicated as Hanto’s feelings were and all the circumstances surrounding them, Hanto knew. Looking into Shouma's face in a moment of peace, he’d missed him. The feeling was so strong it ached in his chest. It joined the other aches in him, mental and physical.
He moved to get up instead.
“This is your bed, I can sleep on the–”
“No, it's fine!” Shouma stood up, pressing Hanto to lay back down. His arm strength was really something, and he must've forgotten himself because it felt like he was about to dislocate Hanto’s shoulder. Automatically, he yelped in pain, and Shouma immediately pulled back.
“Sorry! I didn't mean to! I'll go,” Shouma took a step away, but he didn't get any further when Hanto grabbed his arm.
“Don't… Don't go,” Hanto basically pleaded, but he hadn't thought through the demand. It was just a subconscious desire spoken on impulse. That ache of missing Shouma was stronger than he realized, as he looked at him and felt it subside a bit when Shouma sat near him on the edge of the bed.
“... Alright,” Shouma answered after a moment. He could swear that he had a light smile on his face, as if he was happy that Hanto wanted him near. The pain from that was something more than a dull ache; Hanto should’ve been happy, too, and relieved since they had reached this point. Grateful to be resting and sharing this time together. Still, Hanto couldn't help feeling guilt about so many things rising up.
The next thing he knew, he was hyperventilating again, clutching at his chest. Shouma's worried voice cut through the silence, but he couldn't focus on the words. He could only focus when Shouma grasped his arms, a warm, grounding touch.
Hanto fell forward, not caring an ounce about decorum or embarrassment anymore as he rested his head against Shouma’s collar. He was warm, he was alive, he wouldn't leave.
“... Sorry,” Hanto eventually said, his voice hoarse. He'd already said it earlier, could say it a thousand times more but it wouldn't change reality. It wouldn't change the past few weeks, or the past few months and how everything had spiralled so far beyond his control.
If Hanto thought about anything much more, he'd be sick. Instead, he tried to lean back out of Shouma's personal space.
Meanwhile, Shouma shook his head.
“It’s okay, I understand. You've been through a lot,” he said, his expression melancholic but soft all the same.
“Oh, hold on, your bandage is–” Reaching over, Shouma leaned back into Hanto's space to fix something that Hanto must've messed up. Again.
Hanto couldn't think any further, because Shouma was suddenly so close. It was different this time since he could clearly see Shouma’s eyes just centimeters away, the dedicated set of his mouth as he focused on smoothing down a bandage on Hanto's forehead.
If he moved just a bit forward–
What was he thinking?!
Unknown to Shouma, there was a tug-of-war inside of Hanto’s very being. Shouma had barely spent a moment on fixing the bandage.
When he was done, he pulled back and smiled.
“I hope it feels alright. Sorry I’m still not very good at this,” Shouma said, as Hanto tried to make sense of his disturbed mind. That's all it was, after all the trauma and stress, it was the only explanation.
“It is. I just…” Hanto tried to summon some words, but he held a hand up to his face as if he was in agony. He nearly was.
“I don't think you can take any more pills… Is there anything I can do? Oh, we still have ice cream! That made me feel better– Uh,” Shouma cut himself off, for a reason Hanto could probably guess. He tried to collect himself.
“It’s fine. You can say anything you want. I know I'm responsible,” Hanto admitted. He let his hand drop back down to his lap, so hopefully Shouma wouldn't think he was in that much pain. No amount of pills could stop the turbulence in his heart, regardless.
“I can say anything?” Shouma asked, unsure, and Hanto hummed.
“Yeah, and I know you're too nice to call me a loser or an idiot or whatever. So go ahead.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, and Hanto was tempted to give up waiting and suggest they shut off the lights and sleep. Just as he was going to say it with finality, Shouma shifted to face Hanto, and he opened his mouth but couldn't seem to find any words.
“Just speak, it's getting late.”
As if he just realized it again, Shouma let out a surprised noise.
“Oh, maybe, nevermind.”
“I… I won't get mad. No matter what. Even if it's something I should be mad about. So just say what you want already, okay?”
Shouma glanced up at him, and then seemed to steel himself, staring right into Hanto's eyes.
“What I wanted to say is, I love you.”
For a minute, all Hanto could do was blink. Maybe he was concussed, or like, hallucinating.
“H-Huh? I dunno if that means something different in granute world or something, but you shouldn't use that phrase lightly.”
The words out of Hanto's mouth were automatic, but his heart was beating double time. Even saying something like that platonically was brutal… What had Hanto done to earn it from Shouma, really? All he could recall were the bad moments, how sick Shouma ended up getting, and they'd only just started to patch things up. He still had a long way to go.
“I’m not using it lightly…” Shouma responded, curling in on himself.
“You love Sachika too, right?”
“Of course!”
For some reason, he didn't want to ask if Shouma also felt the same about Lakia, even if it ultimately didn't matter. After the initial shock had worn off, Hanto could easily look at Shouma and his heart calmed down.
“Well, if that's the case then I can't stop you from saying it. It's… it's just a bit embarrassing, but I'll live. And don't just go saying that to anyone. Someone might get the wrong idea.”
He'd forgotten how amusing Shouma could be; at times, he could be surprisingly intuitive, but mostly he was still naive to the outside world, understandably. Taking in Hanto's words, Shouma's smile dipped.
“What wrong idea?”
It was seriously too late for this.
“I can explain more later,” or have Sachika do it, “Let's just rest for the night.”
With that said one final time, Hanto felt like the last remnant of energy left in him had disappeared. His eyes fell closed without waiting for Shouma's response and he surrendered to the exhaustion of his body, barely registering the soft warmth that pressed against his forehead.