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Punlee and Ghlaijai are eating at their café. The hush-hush of the discussions, the scent of the coffee bean, different plants adding colors in the place... It’s creating a nice and cozy ambiance.
“So, what are you doing this weekend?” Lee asks Ghlaijai.
His eyes are warm, looking at Ghlai softly. Which makes his heart fluster. Every time Lee is looking at him, it makes Ghlaijai giddy and makes him feel lighter.
“Oh, I’m watching the stars tomorrow evening. They say the night will be clear. I was thinking about watching it on my condo’s rooftop,” the other boy answers, trying to act normal.
“Really. I might watch it, too, then. This way we can talk about it on Monday. Can I look at it from my garden?” he asks.
Ghlaijai thinks about it. Lee continues to stare at him, his eyes bright and happy. This gaze makes Ghlaijai a bit braver.
“You can watch it with me,” he answers, quietly. So quietly, in fact, he fears Lee didn’t hear him.
But he did. He knows with the way his eyes widen slightly. “W-Watch it with you? Like, at your condo?” The surprise in his voice can be heard. But the little stutter makes Ghlaijai continue.
He nods, “Yes,” then he averts his eyes, looking at his own tea cup, pretending to drink it. “You can even sleep at my place.”
Clink
The sound makes Ghlaijai lift his head. Punlee’s fork has fallen on the table, and his fingers are still raised like he is still holding it. His mouth is agape, his eyes are now completely wide, and a small blush covers his face.
“Sorry,” he whispers, after their eyes meet. “I was just surprised,” he says, taking his fork back and averting his eyes. “So… You want me to sleep at your condo…”
“Yes… Unless you don’t want to?” Ghlaijai mutters. Maybe he reads too much into the situation, maybe they aren’t close enough for that kind of thing.
“No!” Lee blurts. He clears his throat. “I mean… I can sleep at your condo; it’s not a problem. I’m fine with that.”
Ghlaijai smiles, “So it’s settled then? You’re sleeping at my condo tomorrow.”
“Yeah, seems so.” He pauses, furrowing his eyebrows, as something crosses his mind. “Hum… Will there be other people?”
Ghlaijai blinks. What is he supposed to say? He bites his lips, thinking. Well, he already went that far; better just go all the way, “No. It will be only the two of us… You can say no if that makes you too awkward.”
Punlee shakes his head. “Not awkward at all. It’s fine by me,” he answers. A bright smile appears on his face. Ghlaijai smiles at him too.
Then they talk about where and when they should meet. “By the way, Khun Ghlai, are we taking your car?” Punlee asks.
“If you want, or we can take your bike.”
“Your car is better,” he answers, “like that I can put my stuff more easily, and…” he stops.
“And what?”
“Nothing,” he says hastily. “So, it’s settled; we go home with your car?”
“Yeah,” Ghlaijai answers distractedly. The words ‘we go home’ repeat in his head. Going home with Lee sounds so appealing. Going home with someone and having them share a meal with you.
“Khun Ghlai?” Lee calls him, when he sees Ghlaijai blink, a teasing smile blooms on his face, “Are you distracted?”
Ghlai shakes his head, chuckling a little, “Yeah, a bit.”
“Thinking about cleaning your room for me?” he winks.
Ghlai’s ears burn a bit, but he doesn’t avert his eyes. “Well, yeah, it has to be perfect for you.” He tries to keep his voice even. Not showing how his heart is trembling in his chest.
A grin spreads on his lips, when he sees Lee averts his gaze, as a big smile appears on his face.
Ghlaijai isn’t stupid; he realizes their conversations aren’t the ones of typical friends. He is pretty sure they are flirting. They had been for a while now. And yet neither of them had taken the final leap. He thought that seeing each other in a more intimate place would help them take it.
At least he hopes so, because he truly wants to be able to pinch and tease Lee, cup his face, rest his forehead on his, and be close to him... Kiss him. Especially when his face has such a pleasing expression, like now. So bright and happy.
“Lee!” Ghlaijai calls out to him. He turns his head toward him as Ghlaijai raises his eyebrow, amused. “What are you smiling about?”
Lee keeps staring at him. His eyes are sparkling. “I just can’t wait to see the stars with you.” His voice is so soft, with so much emotion.
It makes Ghlaijai shy. His ears are now burning, and he is sure Lee notices it. He pushes him slightly as he lets out a nervous chuckle.
~~~~
The next day, Ghlaijai is waiting for Lee in front of his car. Looking at his phone, trying to distract himself. But no matter what video appears on his TikTok, he can’t concentrate enough, his mind always going back to Lee. To him sleeping in his condo, spending the night together.
“Khun Ghlai!” Ghlaijai hears. He lifts his head to see Lee hurrying up toward him. The brown-haired man raises his hand to wave at him. When Lee reaches him, both of them have a big smile on their faces. “I didn’t make you wait too long, right?” Lee asks.
Ghlaijai shakes his head. “Not at all. Technically, I made you wait, since you finished before me.”
“It’s ok, I can always wait for you.” Punlee shrugs at him, yet his eyes are bright, showing he means every word he says.
Ghlaijai’s heart skips a beat. His ears are burning. The way he says it, not only Punlee shows his sincerity, but it seems he has an underlying meaning.
“Well, let’s go, then.” He diverts, taking his keys, and opens his car door.
Once on the road, they talk about their day and their classes. Ghlaijai also hears about the latest gossip Joy found.
“Do you want to listen to some music, Khun Ghlai?” Lee asks when they have nothing more to add.
“Hm, yeah, sure. You can choose the song.”
Ghlaijai spares a quick glance at Lee, who is searching on his phone for a song. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, and his lips are forming a pout as he is thinking. He looks surprisingly adorable. He didn’t think Lee could be this cute. Ghlaijai quickly turns his gaze at the road, a small smile on his face.
“Aha!” Lee exclaims suddenly. So cute.
“Found a song?” Ghlaijai chuckles.
Lee hums, as the song starts playing. If Ghlaijai remembers correctly, it’s “Knock knock” by Nanon x Jorin.
But to his surprise, Lee starts to sing with the singers. Especially when Nanon is singing. His voice is more powerful and clear, as if those lyrics have more meaning to him.
Ghlaijai’s grip on the wheel tightens. His heart skips a beat. Punlee’s voice is so pretty. Soft and light, magical. He could sense Lee’s gaze fixating on him as he sings:
If your heart is still available
Please let me come and see it
So that I know whatever or not your heart
Has me in it
Ghlaijai swallows; is Punlee indirectly confessing to him? Or is he just into the song? Ghlaijai isn’t sure, and he is too scared to look at him. To see what kind of look he has. To see how Lee is staring at him, what kind of glint his eyes hold.
Thankfully, the song ends. Punlee continues to sing along with the other songs. He chooses different Thai songs, some popular, some less known, old and recent songs alike. When Ghlaijai knows the song, he quietly joins him. He isn’t as confident as Lee, but he could feel the other boy enjoying it.
But then, Lee sings a song Ghlaijai never heard. There is no singer accompanying him. There is only an instrumental, as Lee is singing. It’s a sweet song with piano and a guitar.
It intrigues Ghlaijai, who wants to ask about it. But Lee’s already reaches the chorus.
Can I be a little bit closer to my work of art?
Hopefully, it won’t tear us apart
If I want you to open up your heart
Don’t you think we’re still a bit far, my sweetheart?
How about we play our part?
Pulling our hearts closer, is it too much to ask?
‘Ghlaijai’, he definitely had said ‘Ghlaijai’. He spares another glance at Lee, who is already looking at him. His eyes are so soft, but there is a bit of shyness too. And some other emotions. Ghlaijai isn’t sure how to name them, but if he had to, he would say it’s something akin to hope and maybe longing.
His ears heat up, as he is parking his car. Lee finishes his song. Both of them stay silent for a few instants. Ghlaijai avoids looking at Lee, scared again of the gaze he will direct at him. Of what this gaze will do to his heart. He clears his throat.
“Well, we’re here.”
“Yeah.”
“Hum, you have a beautiful voice, by the way,” Ghlaijai adds as he undoes his seat belt.
“Thanks. I’m glad you like it,” he whispers.
Without his consent, Ghlaijai’s eyes land on Lee. Who is smiling at him, with a shy smile. Ghlaijai averts his eyes. He starts to wonder if he could spend the whole night with Lee. He is not sure if he could handle much more of those smiles or eyes.
“Well, welcome to my home.”
Lee looks around, admiring his condo. “It’s pretty and tidy. Just like you.”
“Oh? You think I’m pretty?” Ghlaijai repeats, hoping he isn’t blushing too much.
“Prettiest man I ever saw,” Lee answers instantly, flashing Ghlaijai a big smile.
“T-Thanks.” He clears his throat. “Make yourself comfortable. We have time before watching the stars. I think of going toward 9:30 pm.”
Lee hums, “Where do I sleep?”
“Oh, hum,” Ghlai stutters. “Well, I was thinking we could sleep together in my bed. It should be big enough. But if that’s too uncomfortable for you, I can set the sofa and one of us can sleep there,” he quickly adds.
“No, no, I want to sleep with you!” Lee exclaims, almost vehemently. Then he stops, his eyes widen, as a blush is spreading on his face, while his brain catches what he is saying, “I mean, not sleep with you like that. Just sleeping on the same bed as you is fine.” Ghlaijai couldn’t help himself but giggle at his reaction.
“I understand what you mean; don’t worry.” ‘And I don’t mind if we do sleep together one day’, he doesn’t say.
Lee gives him another of his shy smiles. One that Ghlaijai returns. “Well, I'll take you to my room then? To let you put your things.”
Punlee nods, before following him. When they enter his room, Ghlaijai’s heartbeat is erratic once again. Seeing Lee in his room makes everything much more real. More intimate. Which is what Ghlai wants, and yet it’s nerve-wracking. He watches Lee put his bags next to his bed while he is watching everywhere. Laying his eyes on his cactus, his desk, the picture of his family, his bookshelf. He is observing everything, as if he is trying to memorize it.
Ghlaijai clears his throat, bringing Lee’s attention toward him. “Well, what do you want to do? Want something to eat? Or maybe watch something?”
“Can you read me something?” Ghlaijai blinks, “Huh?”
“I want you to read something to me. One of your books about the stars and the moon. To know more about it.” Punlee smiles at him, coming closer. His face is a few centimeters away from Ghlaijai’s. “Like that, I can appreciate this moment with you better,” he whispers before adding, “And I like hearing your voice.”
Ghlaijai blushes. Lee grins, proud of himself. “Well, I don’t mind reading for you,” he mutters.
“Yay!” Lee bounces, beaming.
He turns around, looking at Ghlaijai’s books. “Hm, which one could we read?” Ghlaijai steps closer to Lee — a bit too close than necessary, softly brushing their shoulders — taking a look at his own books too. He scans all the titles he has. Then he reaches for one of them before turning toward Lee, showing the book in his hand. “Let’s read this one, okay?”
“‘The Easy Guide to the Night Sky: Discovering the Constellations with Your Eyes and Binoculars’?” Lee reads the title.
“Yes, it’s easy to read. And it’s perfect for beginners,” Ghlaijai explains. “It’s okay with you, or do you want to read another one?”
“If you recommend it, then it’s perfect! Let’s read this one!” Punlee smiles, excitedly taking Ghlaijai’s hand, leading him out of the room. He reminds Ghlaijai of a cute, excited puppy. He has to suppress the chuckles that threaten to come out.
They settle on Ghlaijai’s couch. Lee casually wraps his arm around Ghlaijai’s shoulders. To see the book better, Ghlaijai tries to resonate. He takes a breath as he starts reading.
He tries to make his voice steady and clear, for Lee to understand him. As he is reading, Lee puts his head on his shoulder. Ghlaijai’s heart is beating erratically in his chest. Being this close to Punlee, he could smell his hair. It seems Lee is using a shampoo with a vanilla aroma. Feeling his breath caressing his neck... The atmosphere becomes really domestic.
With Lee cuddling him, as Ghlaijai is reading, while the low glow of the sunset is peeking behind the curtains of his living room, draping the room in golden. Everything is so calm, simple, right. Ghlaijai doesn't mind if they could be like that every day. Longing for it, even.
He spares a glance at Lee. Their eyes meet; he is already looking at him. Ghlaijai tilts his head.
“Is there something wrong?”
“No,” Lee mutters, his breath caressing Ghlaijai’s neck, sending shivers in his spine, “It’s just... I like it.”
“The book? Yeah, it's a good one!” Ghlaijai brightens, “As I told you, it’s easy to understand, and yet it has so much nice information. Like, I didn’t know most stars we saw aren’t single stars, but multiple stars, actually! And the author's writing is good; I love how he includes information like myth and legend associated with...”
Punlee chuckles softly, and Ghlai can feel the way his body is shaking so slightly due to their proximity. He blushes a little; maybe he went overboard.
“Sorry, I just got too excited,” he mumbles as he turns his head away. “I must bore you.”
“No, it's not that!” Lee explains, as his arm tightens around his shoulder. His thumb is caressing it in a reassuring gesture, making Ghlaijai’s heart race even faster. “It’s endearing, actually. Your passion for the stars, I mean.”
Ghlaijai blushes; his ears are buzzing, Lee’s voice echoing in his mind. His breath is still caressing his skin, the ghost of his lips against his neck. “I love hearing you talk about what you love. Hearing your voice. Being with you like that.” He raises his head, looking directly at Ghlaijai’s eyes. The brown-haired man misses the weight on his shoulder. “Do you mind? Me being close like that?” Lee asks, his eyes searching for something, as if he is scanning Ghlaijai’s own soul.
“No,” he whispers. And it’s not a lie. He doesn’t mind. Sure, his heart is trying to escape from his chest, but he doesn’t mind. He likes Lee being this close. It let him imagine more, wanting for more.
With the golden glow surrendering them, Lee’s smile is brighter than usual. He looks almost angelic. His face is soft and sweet and so close to Ghlaijai's, to the point their noses almost touch. Ghlaijai doesn’t move; Lee doesn’t either. Both staying where they are, staring at each other. Lee’s thumb is still rubbing against his clothes, but slower than before. And yet, this movement sends goosebumps on Ghlaijai’s skin. It’s like time itself stops, and they are in their own little world.
The only thing that grounds him is the beating of his heart. So strong that he is sure Punlee hears it too.
Lee’s eyes drop toward Ghlaijai’s lips, before coming back to his eyes. He moistens his lips, as his eyes do a second back and forth between Ghlaijai’s lips and eyes. The brown-haired does the same. Punlee’s lips are so pink, glistening slightly because of his last action. Ghlaijai bites his own as butterflies fly in his stomach.
Lee raises his other hand, his fingers cupping his cheek. His touch is soft and delicate. His thumb is brushing Ghlaijai’s bottom lip.
Bam
They both jolt. Ghlaijai’s book is now lying on the floor. The owner takes it back, putting some distance with Lee in the process. His heart is drumming against his ears. His whole body is on fire. “Sorry, I…”
“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have… Hum, done that.” Lee cuts him; his cheeks are red. Redder than Ghlaijai ever saw them be.
“No, no, it was fine!” Ghlaijai blurts. “Hum, I mean…” His voice died down. He isn’t sure what to say.
“Want to eat?” Punlee gives him an escape.
Ghlaijai opens his mouth, trying to say something, but no sound is coming. He closes it, nodding slightly.
“Okay.” Lee stands up, “Should we eat outside? I pay it for you, as an apology for... ”
“There’s no need to!” Ghlaijai exclaims. “I swear, it’s fine!”
Lee turns to look into Ghlaijai’s eyes. This time, he is the one biting his lip. Ghlaijai can see he is dealing with internal turmoil. Turmoil, that Ghlaijai is the source of. And he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like seeing Lee being this self-conscious, unsure.
He takes his hand, his thumb caressing Punlee’s knuckles. “Lee,” he whispers. The other boy recoils slightly, scared, but his eyes never stop staring at Ghlaijai’s. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m fine.”
“You’re sure?” he asks. “You can say it if I overstepped.”
“You didn’t.” Ghlaijai’s eyes drift once again toward Lee’s lips. What just happened was replaying in his head.
By now, the sun has completely disappeared behind the horizon. Which is why Lee is blessed by the moonlight. Which suits him better. If the golden glow made him angelic, the silver one makes him utterly ethereal. His black hair is turning a hue lighter as they are hit by the moon, reflecting it. And his lips. His lips are glossy, bright, by the light or because of him moisturizing earlier, Ghlaijai doesn’t know.
“Khun Ghlai,” Lee brings him back to reality. His hand tightens around Ghlaijai’s. “You don’t have to force yourself to do something you don’t wan…” Lee’s words died down when Ghlaijai kisses him.
He isn’t sure what was the reason that made him suddenly brave enough. Maybe it was the fact Lee embodies his name right now with the moon encircling him, making him divine. Maybe it was what he was saying, thinking that Ghlaijai doesn’t want this. Or maybe it was his own walls that finally crumbled.
But no matter the reason, here he is, kissing Lee. It is a sweet kiss. A brush of their lips. Short. But long enough for Ghlaijai to know the softest of the other lips. He breaks the kiss before Lee can react. But not too far away. Their noses are touching as he rests his forehead onto Lee’s.
“See?” Ghlaijai says, against Lee’s lips. His eyes close. Slowly rubbing his nose against his crush’s. “It’s something I want.”
As soon as his words leave his mouth, Lee crashes their lips together once more. He hands grabbing Ghlaijai’s waist as he passes his arms around Lee’s neck.
This time, the kiss isn’t as sweet as the previous one. Punlee kisses him with hunger and urgency. His lips trapping Ghlaijai’s, their noses scrunching against each other. His hands start to wander over Ghlaijai’s body. One hand digging on his waist, the other going higher, trailing his back.
Ghlaijai starts to hesitantly mess with his hair, shyly answering the kiss. Realizing this, Lee stops. “Sorry,” he whispers, as he starts kissing Ghlaijai’s jaw. “It’s just… I wait… to… do this… for so… long,” he admits between kisses. “I’m a bit eager.”
Ghlaijai chuckles as his ears fire up. “Really,” he says shyly, but still amused. “How long did you wait?”
Lee looks up, his hand cupping Ghlaijai’s cheek. His thumb’s rubbing it softly. “Since I saw you.” He rubs their noses together. “And you? Since when did you want to kiss me?” He asks, arching his eyebrow. The moon is hitting him still, a white aura enveloping him, enveloping them.
“It’s a secret.” Ghlaijai puts his index over his mouth.
Lee pouts, “Are you teasing me, Khun Ghlai?” He brings their bodies closer to put his head in the crook of Ghlaijai’s neck, giving another kiss.
He laughs, “It tickles, Lee.” The other boy hums but doesn’t move his head. “I promise, I will tell you, one day.”
“I hope so.” He kisses his mouth once more. This time, his kiss has no urgency; it’s slow and calm. “I like you,” he whispers against his lips.
Ghlaijai smiles, “I like you too.”
He closes his eyes, resting his forehead against Lee’s, as the moon is still watching over them. Enveloping them in his halo.
“Will you be my boyfriend?” Ghlaijai whispers.
Punlee chuckles, “I thought the answer was obvious.” Ghlaijai opens his eyes. The other is looking at him with brilliant eyes. The moon is reflecting in it, making them a lighter shade of his usual brown. He is looking at him with so much — Ghlaijai smiles, knowing he can actually let himself believe in it — love. “I would love to be your boyfriend.”
Ghlaijai buries his head in the crook of Lee’s neck, hugging him. Lee kisses his temple. Both settle on their confession, happy to finally be where they were hoping to be.