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Thomas choked on his drink and stared wildly at the person who had just entered the tavern.
It had been four years since the creation of the Safe Haven and Thomas had been struggling with adapting to the new setting. His friends had also had their own troubles but seemed to be settling down.
Gally had been hard at work building, Brenda and Frypan had got together and ran the kitchen in a partnership and Minho had been learning medicine. Thomas, however, had been sitting back and letting life continue without his input.
A small tavern that Gally had designed had become his new favourite place and he spent every evening getting drunk. It wasn’t that he enjoyed being numb and dysfunctional, it was just his coping mechanism.
His way of forgetting what had happened to everyone, or rather, forgetting what had happened to someone. Someone who was close to his heart. But now, as he sat in his claimed chair beside Minho, he sobered up instantly at the sight of a person.
“..and what I was telling him…Thomas are you listening to me?” Minho groaned and batted Thomas’s head.
“No, no- look.” Thomas’s jaw was dropped and he pointed at the person who had just entered the tavern.
Minho rolled his eyes but turned his gaze towards the newcomer.
“Does that look…wait, yeah. It does look like…” Thomas’s voice trailed off but Minho read his mind.
The person who had come in was a boy who looked a few years younger than them with golden blonde hair and a brown leather jacket.
“You’re right. Damn,” Minho’s brows creased, “almost a spitting image of him.”
The boy looked like Newt. From far away, he could be mistaken for him exactly, but Thomas came to find that he didn’t share every feature. When the boy looked up from the floor, he had bright blue eyes.
Thomas bit his lip and looked away, staring at his drink wistfully. Minho glanced down at Thomas with a frown. He could see the inner conflict that his friend was having inside of his mind.
In all honesty, Minho sometimes believed that he knew Thomas better than the boy knew himself. Ever since Thomas had met Newt, Minho had watched them from the sidelines and he had realised early on the depth of the boy’s feelings.
Thomas had been in love with Newt, and Minho was sure that he still was. Thomas had never said anything out loud though. On the other hand, Minho had talked to Newt one night as they laid underneath the Scorch’s stars.
Newt had admitted his feelings for Thomas but had never done anything about it. Now Newt was gone, Thomas was lonely, and Minho felt a deep guilt. Pulling himself out of his sad nostalgia, Minho put on a smile.
“Hey, Thomas?”
“Hm?” Thomas didn’t shift his focus from the drink before him.
“Can you help me remember something? What were the colour of Newt’s eyes? Seeing that boy made me second-guess what I thought-“
“Dark brown with hints of hazel.” Thomas responded immediately. A small smile tugged at his lips and his eyes became softer. Minho continued, “And which leg was the broken one?”
“His right leg.” Every time Thomas talked about Newt, he always seemed more focused and calm, as if the mere mention of his late friend somehow grounded him.
Minho already knew the answers to both of the questions he had asked but he wanted to see Thomas happy, even if it was only subtle. Thomas took another swig of his ale and turned to Minho,
“What time is it?”
Minho checked his watch, “Nine o’clock?”
“Ah,” Thomas looked around at the tavern which was bustling with people, “it’s a pretty busy crowd for a Saturday.”
“I suppose it is, usually Fridays are the busiest.”
Thomas nodded slowly then stared at the floor. “Minho, I believe this is killing me.” His head turned back up to Minho and his smile had fled his face, his eyes pleading. Minho opened his mouth then closed it again.
How was he meant to respond?
“Thomas..”
“But I’m sure I could be happier if I could get out of this place.” Thomas grit his teeth and gazed back at the blonde boy who was sitting far away.
“Everything here reminds me of him, I just want peace. The people, the gardens, the sea- he always wanted to see the sea. Did you know that?” Thomas laughed to himself but there was no humour in it.
“Yes.” Minho swallowed the lump in his throat. He recalled Thomas mentioning Newt’s adoration of the ocean when he was with the right arm. Minho wished that he could’ve been there to see the endless water with Newt beside him but at that time, he was with W.C.K.D.
Now, they were living right beside the sea but Newt was no longer with them. “He would’ve loved it here.” Thomas whispered.
“Agreed.” Minho smiled pitifully at Thomas.
“It’s a shame though.” Thomas murmured, staring at the floor once more.
“What is?”
“Oh, just thinking out loud, but…I never had time for a..” Thomas paused, trying to find the correct words to say.
“A relationship?” Minho interjected.
“Yeah, that. I wasn’t right for Teresa, too late for Newt, and..Brenda isn’t the one for me.”
Minho hummed and peered over to where Brenda was sat.
Frypan was beside her and they were chatting eagerly whilst sharing a drink.
“I’m sorry man.” Minho patted Thomas on the back, attempting to provide some comfort.
“Newt,” Minho cleared his throat, “you loved him, right?” He had never discussed feelings with Thomas before but it was needed. Thomas’s eyes widened but he didn’t disagree.
“As I said, I wouldn’t of minded being..with him, but hearing love in the question sounds…scary.”
“Hey, I get it, but he liked you back Thomas. You two shanks were just too blind to see it.”
Minho scoffed but Thomas froze, “He liked me? As in..?”
“Love. He was scared though, of how you would respond.”
“And you’re only telling me now?” Thomas’s tone changed and his eyes briefly flashed with anger.
Minho suddenly became defensive,
“Well, yeah. It wasn’t my place to spill his shucking secrets, but he can’t smite me now..” Minho drew in a shaky breath,
“And anyways, I wasn’t sure that you..had mutual feelings with him.”
“Oh.” Thomas shrunk back down and looked away. Minho’s voice softened,
“I had always suspected it, but your reaction to that boy over there? That cleared it for me.”
Thomas bit his lip as he thought.
“Thanks Min, for telling me.” Thomas didn’t look at Minho but he meant what he was saying.
“No worries.”
“Your turn.”
“Huh?”
Thomas straightened his posture and stared at Minho directly.
“I’ve just unloaded my troubles onto you, now you go. I always see your expressions when you think no one is watching, what’s wrong?”
Thomas was correct, there was something wrong but Minho couldn’t bring himself to admit it. What if he did and he found himself back there-
“Minho?”
“Is this real?” Minho blurted out.
Thomas didn’t understand at first but a terrible realisation hit him. Minho had been stuck with W.C.K.D for months and had admitted they tortured him. One of their ‘practices’ was making Minho see things that weren’t there.
“Is this real?” Minho repeated, his voice smaller and fragile sounding.
“Yes. You’re safe now, I am real.” Thomas said gently and pulled Minho in for a hug.
“Well,” Minho chuckled dryly when they pulled away, “that was one long winded, depressing conversation.”
Thomas huffed,
“Mhm.”
“Hey shanks.” A voice cut off their tranquil moment and Gally marched over.
“Want to join us?” He gestured over to where Brenda and Frypan were sitting.
“Sure. Minho?”
“Definitely. I’m not letting you guys get pissed without me.” The trio laughed and walked over to the table. A casual conversation bubbled up and Thomas kept quiet, watching his friends contentedly.
Brenda was debating Minho over something stupid meanwhile Gally and Frypan were competing on who could drink the most beers the fastest. After a few minutes, the pair were stoned. Brenda was also quite hammered but her arguments against Minho remained strong and decisive.
Thomas was glad to see Brenda and Frypan happy together. They had found each other in a time of extreme loneliness and now they were no longer alone. The night went on but Thomas remained sober. His friends all reeked of alcohol and he felt claustrophobic.
Excusing himself, he got up and walked outside. The moon shone brightly and a cold wind gripped him. He leant on the tavern’s porch railing and watched the night sky intently.
The sound of footsteps broke the quiet but Thomas didn’t look to see who it was, he already recognised the pattern.
“You feeling okay?” Vince asked. Thomas nodded and the man stood next to him, also looking up at the stars.
“Busy today huh?”
“Yep. Seems like everyone had a long day.” Thomas chuckled. Vince smiled at him,
“Guess so. I’ll see you around son.” Vince left and Thomas felt at peace.
Even though he had lived through horror to horror, he had survived and found a home. Despite his relatively relaxed mood, a stray tear rolled down his cheek. It represented everything he had lost and he sighed, brushing it away.
Newt’s necklace promptly felt heavier around his neck and Thomas clutched the metal tenderly. Minho’s words rung in Thomas’s ears and he smiled sadly up at the moon.
“I love you too Newt.”