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There was a sweet irony, Clara thought as she wrapped the bed covers around herself, in being on the run from the Time Lords and ending up in bed with one of them.
She smiled into Jenny’s shoulder. As she had told another Time Lord more than once: it was extremely foolish to try and control a control freak.
Though she didn’t need to sleep anymore, Jenny did. On these infrequent occasions, it became their routine that Clara would join her. It started off because Jenny said she felt safer having someone on watch just in case, but Clara eventually realised it was just an excuse.
“I can’t believe you fell for it!” Jenny had laughed, easily dodging the pillow Clara had thrown. “We’re in the Vortex? Who’s going to get us? Time pirates?”
It was one of these occasions, safe from time pirates, that found Clara cuddling up to Jenny’s side and resting her hand on her chest. Under the soft fabric of her starry pyjamas, she felt the double heartbeat that gave away her origin.
“That’s still weird,” she murmured into Jenny’s shoulder.
“Not as weird as that,” replied Jenny with a chuckle. She placed her hand over Clara’s silent heart.
Though she had got used to it, she could understand why it would unnerve Jenny. It was usually in the dark, curled around her, that Clara pondered the possible meanings behind the two of them finding each other. It was almost as if they were the missing parts to the other’s puzzle. The light meeting the dark. The almost-living reminder to take a breath before acting and the larger than life one to seize every day. The soldier who left the war and the teacher who didn’t learn in time. Both of them who they were because of the Doctor, though he didn’t know it.
She’d seen enough of the universe to know that these things happened because of a greater plan as much as they occurred purely by accident. It was best to just go with it in her experience.
“I was only meant to understand war,” Jenny said, bringing Clara out of her thoughts.
“Mmm. All that tactical thinking has come in handy,” replied Clara, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. “Not to mention the gymnastics.” She was content to close her eyes, lose herself in the quiet atmosphere and maybe get a redundant nap, but Jenny hadn’t finished.
“But I’ve learnt so much from travelling,” she continued as if Clara hadn’t spoken. “And from my dad’s genes, I guess.” Eyes locked onto the ceiling, she softly added, “I wasn’t supposed to live more than a couple of hours.”
“I’ve got less than a second left.”
Jenny smiled at that. “I’m not human. I’m not really a Time Lady either.”
“You’re talking enough to be one.” Clara leaned in order to steal a kiss but Jenny moved away with a huff.
“Clara, I’m trying to say something.”
Surprised but chastened, Clara rested her chin on the hand on Jenny’s collar bone. She pressed a kiss there instead. “Sorry.”
Jenny took a deep breath. For the first time since she’d started this conversation, Clara noticed just how nervous she looked and reached out to take her hand.
“I had to learn everything and it was fun but it was hard and-” Jenny screwed her face up in annoyance. “Urgh, why is this so difficult?”
Clara ran her thumb over Jenny’s. “What is it?”
It wasn’t like she’d never seen her girlfriend hesitate before, but it was rare it happened around her. They often spent hours wrapped up in each other, trading stories and secrets, fears and futures. With them being from different times, places and even species, they knew they needed to communicate to make things work. Of course, both being as stubborn as they were, there had been arguments as well, but they always made up. Talking issues through was second nature to them.
“You know I’ve been in my lab a lot,” Jenny eventually said, not quite meeting Clara’s eye.
“Hmm-mm.”
“I’ve been doing tests. On me. I’d done all the research but I wasn’t sure and I needed to be,” she explained, running a hand through Clara’s hair. “So I tested for all the signs - blood flow, hormone production, everything - and now I am 87.5% sure.”
“Of what?”
Jenny drew her bottom lip into her mouth. “I feel love for you.”
Though time wasn’t moving to start with, least of all for her, Clara swore time stopped then.
“You’re in love with me?”
“Did I say it wrong?” Jenny thumped the back of her head against the pillow, but Clara had bigger concerns.
“Wait - you’re 87.5% sure?”
“There are variables. Outlying factors.” Jenny shrugged. “All of that considered it’s still a very high possibility.”
Though it was years ago now, Clara remembered with startling clarity the final promise she made to Danny Pink. She’d always believed in rules, but now that she’d lived as long as she had, she’d learnt that the only way to get by was to make the rules up as she went along. Eventually it didn’t feel like cheating. And who was her past self to try and control a control freak, anyway?
“I feel love for you, too,” she said around a wide smile. She moved in for a kiss, but Jenny has sat up abruptly.
“H-how can you be so sure?” she fretted, scrambling to get out from under the covers. “Do you want me to get-”
In one move, Clara kissed her and pulled her back down to the bed. Thoughts of tests and percentages were forgotten, along with sleep, as Clara proved just how sure she was.