Chapter Text
Sunshine leaks through the curtains drawn halfway, stretching across the simple apartment room. It covers the shelves filled with countless books, from nonfiction to the small collection of fiction that seems out of place. A coffee table is covered in old dishes and more books that appear to be waiting to be put back into their homes, and art pieces that were created or given as gifts span across each wall. Just outside, the sound of tires screeching away from the premises breaks through the crack in the window. One small gust of wind slides through the plants hanging in the corner of the room. The sun barely grazes the edge of the plants, and only one plant gets bathed by the sun, a chrysanthemum resting in front of the window. A pull-out couch carries a drowsy man who shields away from the sun. The blankets resemble the same greyish tint as the walls, and a red flannel-patterned blanket slips off the bed as the man starts to move under the sheets.
Megumi’s eyes open as he adjusts to the morning light. After a few seconds of lying in the comfort of his bed, he sits up with one hand on his head. A sunbeam dances on his face, showing off his jade eyes. Specks of dried-up tears lay in the corners of his eyes. Megumi shifts his hand to shield himself from the sun's beams. His hair is disheveled more than usual, with strands pointing in every direction. He still felt restless.
Megumi slowly slid out of the comfort of his grey blanket, sitting on his bed and letting his legs hang down, grazing the softness of the carpet. He noted the disappearance of his flannel blanket, shrugged it off, and slipped on his dog slippers resembling his two dogs: Kuro, and his late dog Shiro.
My neck is killing me. He stretches his arm to the back of his neck, applying pressure to try and relieve some of the pain. Did I sleep on it wrong again?
A yawn escapes Megumi’s lips as the words leave, “Morning Kuro”. Kuro stumbles her way towards him, and for a second, he forgets about the pain in his neck. He rests his hand on her head and slowly strokes her fur. Although her presence normally made him feel at ease, it just made him feel like something else was missing. An emptiness in his chest that couldn’t be filled by the warmth of Kuro’s presence. It isn’t Kon because he’s always staring outside watching the squirrels. Today, Kon is sleeping on the chair, and the only movement Megumi sees from him is his deep breathing—telling him he’s alive. Kuro nuzzles her snout into his leg, trying to get all his attention back on her. “Sorry, I can’t take you on your usual walk this morning. Tomorrow, Kuro.”
The bathroom feels so far away, and as soon as he gets up, his legs feel like he ran two marathons in one week. He would have questioned the sudden dizziness if it weren't for his horrible iron. Megumi looks at the clock by his favorite art piece– a piece that shows a dog basking in the specks of the sun, which is supposed to represent his late dog Shiro. The clock reads ‘8:12 A.M’; it hits him suddenly that if he doesn’t get his ass into gear, he’ll be late for work. “Fuck. Fuck”
The bathroom light hits him, and the cool air envelops him. Each step feels like he’s walking in someone else’s skin. It feels like he’s been asleep in a dark room for days and is now entering a starlit room. Megumi strips off his pajamas and slips into the shower. The water feels hotter–like it could burn his skin off in patches– and his mind feels crowded, yet empty.
Sendai. I need to go to Sendai today. Why do I need to go to Sendai? Why today? I need to go to the beach. Why, though?
Time raced by, and he completely forgot about being in the shower. The water pools down his head, and all he’s done is stand in the shower, watching the droplets fall down the wall.
The water reminds me of the beach, which I hate. Sand gets everywhere, and the ocean always looks sad. I hate seeing objects resemble human emotions. It makes me feel stupid to notice an emotion in an object.
After finally cleaning his hair and body as fast and best as possible, he turns the shower off and gets out. The towels that felt so soft before feel scratchy now. Megumi grabs his toothbrush and mint toothpaste, noticing how they seem out of place.
I don’t remember leaving them like that last night.
The mint toothpaste has a cold and bitter taste to it, like the mixture of orange juice and mint churned into one tube. Megumi tried to ignore it, but the taste was too strong–he only brushed for a minute or two before spitting the toothpaste out and gargling some water to clean his mouth of that bitter-cold taste. He applied his moisturizer and the rest of his skincare, noticing how almost everything seemed out of place since the last time he had been in there. His hair dryer is the only thing in the right place–he blows hot air through his hair and ruffles it up to get back those points, and he finishes off with his morning routine.
Megumi’s closet is scattered with everything you would expect a Veterinarian to wear. Collared shirts, solid-colored sweaters, and a mix of random T-shirts with stupid animals on them that he only wears when no one will see him. On the bottom half are all the scrubs and normal vet clothes that are only in shades. A small dresser, holding all his bottoms, sits right next to the closet. The top of the dresser has small bowls with rings, necklaces, and miscellaneous earrings that have no pair.
He grabs a plain grey turtleneck, a slick, black belt that was hanging on the side, and fishes out some black, slim-fit jeans. He slides himself into the turtleneck, then his jeans, and finishes with the belt. Megumi looks like he’s about to go sit outside a bar with a cigarette in one hand and a card for some shady business in the other, or like he’s about to be that one elder in the back of a metal concert that leaves small comments about how “they’re moshing wrong”. In all, he looks business casual, which is perfect for where he’s going.
After finishing up, Megumi gathers everything he needs: coffee, his work bag, his wallet, his keys, his phone, and one banana, until he gets to work and can eat more.
Since Megumi couldn’t take her for her usual walk, Kuro pouts while resting on the pull-out couch. On the other side of the room, Kon now sits peering outside, eyes glued to a squirrel across the street, trying to pick up a stick.
Megumi checks again, making sure he has everything before kissing Kon and Kuro goodbye. After shutting the door, he hears a whine of defeat echo from Kuro.
Megumi wishes he could have taken Kuro for her normal walk. They don’t just benefit her, but him too. A feeling of walking alone with no one to judge, mixed with fresh morning air and the sun just starting to peer over the horizon.
Megumi always appreciated sunrises more than sunsets–due to sunsets symbolizing the end.
The sun shines on Megumi’s car, sending dozens of little light fragments onto the pavement. He goes towards the passenger side to throw his bag in the back since the other door doesn’t open from the outside. A giant dent right on the passenger door catches his eye almost immediately–Megumi can be a pretty reckless driver when not in the right place, but never reckless enough to damage his car.
“What the fuck–how did that even get there?” He slams his coffee on top of the car, causing some to splash onto his shirt. He lets out a sharp exhale of irritation and peers closer at the dent.
Something he definitely didn’t do. He’s already running late for work–staring at it won’t make it disappear either– and he can’t wait for his neighbor to come out to scold them for something they could not have done. Instead, he opened the door behind the passenger seat and laid his bag down. Before closing the door, he grabbed a small piece of paper and a pen to leave a little note on his neighbor's car window. It’s sloppy and unreadable, but with the little time he has, it’s decent. Megumi tossed the bag farther into the car and slammed the door shut before booking it to the driver’s seat. He started the car immediately and started driving towards the train station.
On the way, a sign zips by his vision, and the only words visible are ‘Valentine's Day Special! Only Today! Get it Now!’
Megumi rolls his eyes. I hate Valentine's Day. It’s just a holiday created by greeting card companies to make people feel a little bit better about themselves and their relationships. I’ve never spent Valentine's Day with anyone who has that kind of importance, except for Hana that one time. I haven’t spoken to Hana in so long. She was nice, and she loved me.
Lost in thought, Megumi doesn’t realize that he’s pulled into the parking lot outside of the train station. He parks at his usual number 70, which has a small doodle of a creature sketched onto the sign. Right above the creature's head reads “Geek”.
Parking there always makes him feel some kind of luck. If he were to park somewhere else, something bad would happen. He’s never parked at a different number and doesn’t want to start anytime soon.
The train for Shinjuku always leaves at 9:25, and Megumi gets there right at 9:19. He’s the type to hate being late–especially late for work; it feels like a stain on his skin that only comes off after multiple washes. Ever since Megumi broke out of his rebellious teen phase, he made it his goal to not make the same mistakes he used to, such as purposefully being late to everything and his reason being, Why should I care ?
Without leaving yet, something still stings in his mind. Sendai. A train close by leaves for Sendai in three minutes, the same as the one for Shinjuku. If I run now, I might make it in time. What am I thinking? I don’t have any reason to skip work, except these stupid thoughts infecting my brain.
He looks at his watch, 9:22, then at the stairs leading to the other trains. He can hear the tires screeching from an arriving train, it’s for Shinjuku.
Without a single thought, Megumi’s body starts moving. Running leaves his head finally silent, nothing except for Sendai.
A small crowd surrounds the doors as they start to pile in. He makes it to the entrance, shimming his way onto the train. I’m normally not an impulsive person. I’m skipping work for a reason I can’t even explain if I wanted to. Thinking to himself after finally making it on the train, except not the one for Shinjuku. A long breath escapes his lips as the realization settles in. As fast as the air leaves, regret rushes his body as he reaches into his pocket to pull his phone out. Megumi scans for his boss, Inumaki’s number, and pokes the call button. Megumi isn’t much of a ‘talk on the phone’ person, but Inumaki isn’t much of a texter either. It takes a couple of rings until he answers and cups his hand around his mouth, and the speaker makes it easier for him to be heard without the background noises.
“Hey, Inumaki. It’s Megumi. Megumi, yes. I won’t be coming in today.” He bites his tongue, waiting for some sort of response. “Could be food poisoning, yeah. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
The phone call ends after Inumaki gives his regards– without Megumi saying anything else, he leans against the nearest bar and lets out another sigh of relief.
Sendai is such a strange place to go to out of the blue. There’s not much to do there, and he’s only been there a couple of times. Maybe if he went there more, he’d one day find something meaningful to call important.
---
Not many people got off the train when it stopped at Sendai, and since Megumi was close to the door, it didn’t take long for him to get off. He started walking– letting his feet and mind lead the way to his destined destination–and his feet took him straight to the beach.
Megumi sits on top of the boardwalk stairs and gazes over the sand that leads to the ocean. Watching the water come and go, he reaches into his bag to grab his small journal.
Feels lighter than I remember. Some ripped-out page residue hangs onto the spirals as he flips to the first empty page. An entry paired with some random doodles lay on the other side. ‘February 12, 2016. ’ This is my first entry in two years . He thinks to himself and begins to write down a couple of things that come to mind.
‘ This is my first entry in two years and two days. My skin doesn’t feel like my own. Has it really been two years since I last wrote something in here? I’m in Sendai today instead of being at work. I don’t know why. Just like in Tokyo, there isn’t anything here for me. I guess it doesn’t hurt to change up your life every once in a while. ’
After a couple of minutes of writing, Megumi sketched a rock that was nearby. It doesn’t look very realistic–more like a mashup of crisscrossed lines and small dots to resemble the indents. He carefully puts his notebook back in the bag and stares at the ocean. Sitting up from the stairs, he dusts off any sand that clung to his jeans.
The beach is cold, the ocean feels sad, and the sun doesn’t shine here since the clouds hide it from the world. The beach during winter, god, what were you thinking, Megumi? He starts trekking along the shore until he stops to feel the air move through his hair. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees someone else kicking sand around, and their head is down with their hands in their pockets.
The person was far away, his face unreadable. He raises his head to look out to the ocean, revealing that hair. Pink hair. It resembled the same color as a Japanese camellia or a simple pink rose. A bit faded, but it still caught Megumi’s eyes, even from afar. He could assume the figure in the distance was a boy because of the short hair peeking through his hood. He edges closer to his view and can see his quite boyish outfit. Red sneakers with large tongues sticking out to the sky, a navy-blue hoodie zipped over another hoodie, which was light sage compared to the harsh blue, and some basic-looking blue jeans. To try and beat the cold nipping at his hands, he was wearing fingerless gloves. And a black, cross-body bag finished it off.
Megumi didn’t dress properly for this kind of weather, like the other guy did. Normally, the weather in Tokyo is warmer, and he didn’t know that it would be this cold in Sendai. He didn’t even think he would come to Sendai–he did grab a jacket to fit with his sketchy dude fit, though. The other man looks so warm.
The man walks closer in Megumi’s general direction, most likely to leave. Megumi catches a glimpse of his face. It looks soft and roughed up at the same time. His lips were slightly quirked in a smirk, like he was happy being on the beach and in the cold.
Megumi finds himself intrigued by this stranger, even on this sad and lonely beach–maybe he’s the only one who views beaches as sad, though.
What caught his eyes the most was his eyes and how they glistened a creamy, chocolatey brown. Earth's tone, captured in a single set of eyes, hints at a warm tinted orange tint. He had noticed how they resembled the same colors as a bronze boat orchid flower.
A tall, blue beach house stands on the boardwalk–far away from Megumi, it sits there, unbothered and alone. It’s perched up tall, just barely grazing the clouds, and it catches his eye. The stairs that lead to the front door are jagged, basically falling apart. Though the house looks untouched, clean even. It’s dark inside, and it seems as if no one has been home for days. A feeling of familiarity rushed into Megumi like a wave.
Maybe I was here with Hana at some point. Even though he’d only been to this beach once with Nobara and Maki for a barbecue. As he stares at his reflection in the windows, he begins to imagine a life–one where he lives with someone in a house, one exactly like this one. With someone he truly loves, feels loved by them, and doesn’t find their existence to be a burden.
He loved Hana; at least, he thought he did. Soon after their wedding, he grew to resent her love, becoming more unaffectionate towards her. They didn’t last longer than a year. It doesn’t help that he feels like someone like him can’t fall in love with anyone. Still, he uses those words to describe his thoughts–even if they don’t sound right.
Megumi continues walking around the porch, watching the inside for any movement. He walks towards the town–all the people conversing and living as humans, breathing, talking, laughing, coughing, and crying, a beautiful clump of humanity in one eyeshot. He starts wandering the streets until he stops in front of a fast-food place. He’s not normally the person to intake fast food, especially this early in the day, but he had barely eaten anything this morning and was initially going to eat more at work.
The inside is more put-together, like a normal restaurant. Most likely to hide the greasy food under a fancy facade . Megumi thinks as he notices how perfect a time it is to come in here, not too many people, and just the perfect amount of silence. He gets into the line of three people, ordering another coffee and an egg sandwich.
Five to ten minutes later, his order gets called. He spots a booth near a window, far from the few people who take up space in the restaurant. A couple of booths in front of him, he sees pink hair sprouting out. Though Megumi only saw him at the beach for a short period, he could recognize that pink hair anywhere.
The seats aren’t high enough to block his face completely, so he has a perfect view of the guy holding his phone mere inches from his face. Whatever he was looking at must have been interesting because he seemed glued to it the entire time it took Megumi to eat.
After finishing his mediocre egg sandwich, he crumples its wrapping and tosses it onto the tray. He reaches into his bag for his journal to scribble down thoughts again, but first, he looks back in the pink-haired boy’s direction.
Megumi noticed how the sun made a small appearance to hug the boy's face, lighting up those dusky orbs. Not to be so obvious with his observing stares, Megumi looked back down.
That boy with dusty, bright, pink hair has been staring at his phone the entire time I’ve been here. He must be the same guy I saw at the beach.
Megumi took another glance and locked eyes with the boy. Immediately, he lowered his eyes, and his face quickly became flushed. He could feel his heart pick up pace and his face burn with embarrassment. His mind starts racing, leaving him worrying about nothing, since when he briefly glanced back over to the boy, he was now staring down at his phone, smiling.
Megumi grabs his pen to note, Why do I feel a strong connection with someone I haven’t even talked to yet? And why do I fall in love with anyone who gives me the littlest bit of attention?
~~~
After Megumi finishes his journaling and coffee, he decides to head home after a day wasted in Sendai. He places his tray by the trash can and discharges all the remaining trash he has.
The air outside isn’t as stiff as the air inside–more bearable and doesn’t smell like feet and burgers.
What a waste of time to come down here. Those weird feelings and urges were foolish and a waste of my time.
It didn't take long for Megumi to make it to the train station–swerving through anyone that decided to walk slowly, and speedwalking there came quite handy for him to get out of there fast. The station isn’t empty, but it isn’t packed either. There have to be about twenty people all looking at their phones, the map, the empty train tracks, or at each other. No one would be looking at Megumi because he looked like everyone else. He fit in perfectly with the crowd, and he liked that feeling of not sticking out. But why did he suddenly feel eyes stabbing into his skin coming from his left?
He chooses to ignore it at first and starts to turn his attention to the tracks–then pink catches his eyes.
Please tell me that’s not the same person from the beach and the restaurant. And please, tell me they aren’t the ones staring at me. Megumi sends out a small prayer–praying that the eyes he feels on him don’t belong to him of all people in the train station. He can’t remember seeing the boy still in the restaurant as he was leaving–but he also wasn’t paying attention to who was still in there, the only thing on his mind then was getting the fuck out of Sendai.
Inconspicuously, he turns his face over to where the guy is, and he’s already staring at him. Almost as fast as he blinks, he turns his head back to the tracks and tries to think of a way to blend in with the crowd.
It’s him. He’s there, and he’s standing nearby, and he’s staring at me .
Megumi stupidly glances back, and the pink-haired boy waves at him. To not seem like a total asshole, he gives a small wave back and a half-assed smile.
The train shows up five minutes after both Megumi and the pink-haired boy arrive. Megumi enters one door– the pink-haired boy enters the next one over.
A sigh of relief escaped Megumi’s lips as he noticed the train was emptier than usual–so he sat by a window close to the doors. The chair is flat, with barely any cushion, and the set of chairs in front of him has mysterious stains spread across the back. He closes his eyes and doesn’t realize that the boy is sitting in the same section, only a bit farther away from him. He’s alone, too, and began to fidget with his thumbs while looking down.
Silence. It’s so quiet, and it feels nice. Both boys sit in silence as the train finishes letting the couple of people enter. They are the only two sitting in that section, and Megumi opens his eyes, scanning the section for anyone he should worry about. The only person he was hoping wasn’t sitting there was sitting on the other side. His head was still down, but that pink hair was peaking out again. Megumi’s face grew pink, and now his head was down, looking through his bag for something. To try and distract himself from his own emotions, he grabs his notebook and starts sketching some random flowers. The flowers he started to draw would have been the same color that he thought resembled the pink-haired boy's hair. He glances over at him to see if he’s still really there. The boy is looking at him, and in response, Megumi’s eyes shoot back down immediately.
“Hi.”